Mandy and the Tentacle Monster (Urf Oomons #1)
Mandy and the Tentacle Monster: Chapter 26

I’m going to be honest, sleeping in Seven’s room is weird as hell. Not only does he submerge all his tentacles in that tub of goo before sleep, resting his head in his arms which kind of float on top, but he moves around the whole time he’s asleep. How do I know this? Well, every time he moves a single tentacle tip, the goop issues a loud *Squeeelch* noise. And as soon as I get used to that and tired enough to nod off, a wondering tentacle has freed itself from the goo and snuck over to wrap around my ankle, startling me awake.

Fine. Ok. It’s kind of sweet that Seven reaches out and holds onto me in his sleep. My eyes are drifting closed when another tentacle snakes around my calf. Both legs now immobile, I glower at the sleeping alien and see in our dim light that he has rolled over to the edge of the tub nearest me and is now laying on the soft, rounded edge of the tub. If that goo is supposed to keep his tentacle arms still while he sleeps, it’s doing a poor job. Three more tentacles are wiggling their way free and headed right for me.

Sigh.

I see where this is going.

Sure enough, within fifteen minutes, Seven has moved himself and all eight tentacle arms out of the goo and over to me. My legs, arms, and midsection are all encased in winding tentacles and I’m pulled up onto Seven’s hard chest. He combs my hair absently with his claws, murmuring, “Tiny,” and “Mine” every so often. His breathing stays deep and even. He’s asleep this whole time.

It’s a very long night, but eventually, I fall asleep on Seven’s chest, wrapped in tentacles. It’s a lot cozier than it sounds.

And I sleep pretty well for a few hours, but then I’m woken up by incessant purring. I try to stretch and yawn, but when I move all the tentacles squeeze, holding me still. I have to pry myself loose from a sleepy, confused Seven, but eventually, I’m free to go replace the bathroom. My room has one right across from it and I need to get a fresh outfit from there anyway, I decide to head that way.

I replace strangers in the hallway.

I’m so startled I let out a loud “eeep” noise and they both turn to look at me in surprise. It’s a yellow lizard-guy, kinda like Shawn’s “owner” and a big blue cat-person. The cat looks feminine. The other cat-aliens I’ve seen have had big, bushy manes like a male lion’s, but this one doesn’t. Just short blue fur everywhere. Like a blue female lion.

When they both turn towards me, I see Baht is with them.

“Tiny, greetings! This is Shafeenah and Oh’tech, honorable bounty hunters of the Traders Guild. They are here to help us with the issue of our missing crew members. Shafeenah, Oh’Tech, this is Tiny the Earth Human Artist.”

“Greetings!” I respond with a nod, “Nice to meet you. Please excuse me.”

I hurry off down the corridor. I really, really need to pee. I’ll track down Baht and our guests after I freshen up.

After I’m done showering and dressing I go to the dining room for breakfast noodles. I have tiny little pellet noodles, with a kind of butter-salt-caramel topping. It tastes like if you combine a cinnamon roll, oatmeal, and grits. Only with noodles. Anyway, it hits the spot.

As I’m placing my bowl in the reclamation bin, I see that there’s a bit of a traffic jam at the door. Baht, the two bounty hunters, and Seven are all talking with each other and blocking the way. I move near them to join the conversation and replace out what’s going on with our bounty hunting plans when a tentacle stealthily moves under my shirt and wraps around my waist. I’m pulled away from Baht and the bounty hunters and over to Seven’s side.

I stand on tip-toes to kiss his cheek, “Good morning Seven.”

“Good Greetings Tiny,” he replies, flushing a light pink that fades to purple than dark blue in his extremities.

Our guests are gaping at us in shock.

Public displays of affection are probably taboo. I don’t think I’ll ever learn good alien manners.

“Were you all coming in here to eat?” I ask.

“I tracked you in here so that we could speak to you about this job. Let us sit and discuss it,” as Baht is speaking, the tentacle arm around my waist is pulling me back, so that I end up behind Seven, peering around him.

“I tracked you here as well,” Seven lets me know.

“Ok, well lets all sit down.”

We all sit. Well, Baht doesn’t sit, he kinda stands near the table. And Seven just lowers his tentacles so he’s at a sitting height next to me. The bounty hunters and I sit. Seven tries to maneuver me into his “lap” but I insist on sitting in my seat.

Baht and the bounty hunters proceed to talk for a while about how Ken and Lu went missing. It’s strange listening to all four languages being spoken and everyone understanding everything. Shafeenah, the lion-woman, spoke in growls and snarls. Oh’Tech, the lizard-guy, spoke in a lot of hisses and clicks. Baht was speaking Urglassi, which is a pretty language with a lot of whistles and hums. And Seven, though he didn’t contribute much, he speaks is hiccups and whistles.

If I ignore the translations and focus on sounds it’s kind of hilarious. Like, “Snarl-growl-growl.” “Sssssss. *click* *click* Sssss.” Then melodic whistling. No way would anything sound like a language to me f I didn’t have a translator.

I probably sound as strange to them. Seven says my “English Earth Human Speak” sounds like chirps. Like a bird.

They decide to go with the only lead we have which is Seereechees. Our bounty hunters are going to go to the Seereechee trade grounds. I learn that Seereechee trade grounds are not a specific location, but traders who all meet up on some barren moon or planet set up a temporary atmosphere and let their contacts know where to replace them. The plan is for our bounty hunter friends to just ask about buying Ken and Lu back. That would be the quickest and safest way to go about it.

When our plans are all made and talks are concluded, Baht turns to me and says, “Oh’Tech would like to know if you would show him some of your art. I showed them down corridors that were the least decorated, not knowing what your policy is when it comes to showings.”

“I already told him that it is rude to ask,” Shafeenah interjects, “He has promised that he will not press the issue if the answer is no.”

“Of course I can show you some stuff, Oh’Tech. Is there anything in particular you wanted to see?”

Oh’Tech’s long, heavy tail starts waving on the floor and his mouth stretches open in a big toothy grin, “I am honored, Tiny Human! I have seen all your work on display in Salhuteck’s shop. I especially enjoyed the-,” he paused, grasping for proper descriptors of human pictures, “It looks like a pile of pale white faces? Bone faces? With a bone person?”

I tilt my head considering. Bone faces?

I hear a chuffing sound and look to see Shafeenah chuckling.

Oh’Tech’s tail stills and the smile falls off of his face. “I mean no offense. I admire your work! I lack context and vocabulary to describe it.”

“No offense taken, Oh’Tech. I’m trying to figure out which picture you could mean.” The pirate flag on one of the ships has a “bone face” maybe? Then I remember the Catrina picture in my room. She’s definitely a “bone lady”.

“Ok, I think I know which one it is. Let’s go and I’ll show you that one and the one I just completed.”

“Wonderful,” Oh’Tech bounds around the table, tail swinging happily again, “Sal brags to no end about his exclusive Earth Human Art Collection! He will be so envious when I tell him I was honored to see your latest work!”

Shafeenah follows sedately behind us. Seven follows even further behind, looking uncomfortable, his color darkening and his brows furrowing.

It takes a good two hours, but I give in to Oh’Tech’s enthusiasm and end up showing him all the murals on the ship and then I paint a picture of a luna moth on my smallest canvas for him and sign it.

As the bounty hunters leave they both bow, Oh’Tech radiating happiness and Shafeenah laughing at his exuberance.

“We will message you every four days with updates as we track down your friends. You have been a very gracious and generous host and you have my thanks. Good Parting Tiny,” Sheffena says as she bows again.

“It was my pleasure. Good parting.” I try and return the bow, but I must do something wrong because she snorts another laugh.

And then they’re gone.

I’m pretty pleased with myself, having made new friends and not committed any serious alien faux-pas. This has been a good and productive morning.

Seven has moved closer to me to say, “I do not like him.

“Oh’Tech?” I ask dumbly. Who else?

“Yes. He is overly familiar with you.”

“Relax,” I take one of his clawed hands in mine, interlacing our fingers, “He’s just a fan. All he talked about was art.”

“Yes. He talked all morning, monopolizing all your time. Imposing himself.”

I shrug, “That’s how fans are. He was sweet and polite about it.”

“You said that Baht was a fan, but he stalked you and now resides on the ship with us. I will not accept any more “fans” imposing themselves on you.” He argues.

“Baht is our friend. He rescued me and helped rescue you. You should be nice to him. And Oh’Tech is tracking down Lu and Ken. When people help me and are on my side, I’m nice to them.”

He huffs, then he says, “You allowed him into your pin.”

“My room, you mean?”

“Yes.”

“Well,” I squeeze his fingers with mine, “I don’t stay in that room anymore do I? You and I share private quarters now, right?”

And that does it. All the dark gray fades away, leaving his skin a light lavender.

“That is true. It is not your pin anymore, but your storage area.”

I pull on his hand leading him down the corridor and suggest to him, “Lets go to the med-bay and check on our eggs.”