Marrying the Mob Prince
2-38

KNOX

Fuck love.

If this was love, I didn't want it. I hadn't felt so miserable in over a decade, when I still cared about the bitch that created me. This feeling was like a cancerous tumor. It spread, gnawing at my insides, taunting me with flickers of hope. A notification pinged my phone.

I knocked it off the desk in my haste to grab it. It was Indie. She'd come to her senses. I swiped the phone open. A work-related text flashed over the screen. Not Indie.

I slammed it face down on the desk. My head throbbed with a vicious headache as I pictured Indie at the altar with another man. I'd only stayed away because she'd begged me. Then thirty days flew by, and the thirty became forty. At this rate, I'd never see her again.

"Mr. Knox?" My assistant stormed in. She pushed a mug of coffee in front of me, her brows pinching together as she scanned the uneaten sandwich on my desk. "Would you like me to get you something else?" "No. Get rid of this."

Valerie took the plate, so close that her overpowering perfume stung my nostrils. "Why aren't you eating?"

I didn't see the point of sustaining myself. Or sticking to a schedule that no longer worked to control my impulses. Life held no meaning without the woman who filled my heart.

I shrugged. "Not hungry."

Valerie's fingers brushed my shoulder. She touched me a lot, lately. Since Indie left, she was less shy about asserting her desire. No doubt, she hoped I'd fuck her over the desk. Valerie wanted to be my rebound, but I would never, ever be interested. Her transparent feelings annoyed me.

"Valerie. You're hovering."

"I'm sorry, sir." She withdrew her touch and stepped aside, bright patches rising to her cheeks.

"Your job isn't to fawn over me." I picked up my coffee and sipped. "I have a fiancée for that." "She moved out, Mr. Knox."

"Really? I hadn't fucking noticed."

Her lashes fluttered as she averted her gaze downward. "I apologize, sir."

"I also don't pay you to comment on my personal life."

"Understood." Valerie's oval face twitched with fear. "Sorry, sir. It won't happen again."

She didn't leave.

I glowered at her. "What?"

"Tony Costa is here to see you."

I sank into my chair. "Whatever. Bring him in."

She disappeared. Moments later, Tony stormed in, carrying with him an aura of danger along with a plastic bag. He leaned against the sliding glass doors, his profile rigid with discomfort. "Tony. What brings you here?"

He scowled. "You asked me to come."

"Oh. Right."

He crossed his arms. "You look like shit."

"I think I'm coming down with a cold."

"Sorry, buddy. Do you need anything?"

"I'm fine," I snapped, annoyed that he'd adopted the same concerned tone as Valerie. "But Indie's not. She dismissed her security and can't be alone."

He worked his jaw stubbornly. "I have better things to do than stalk your ex."

Why did everyone want to talk about my relationship?

I raked my hair, frustrated. Caffeine wasn't helping with my sluggish thoughts. "I didn't break up with her. She left me."

"You never mentioned that."

"Well, I had no idea our friendship was on that level."

Tony's dark eyes flashed a gentle but firm warning. "When you send me to a job, you have to give me all the facts. Not just the ones you're comfortable with disclosing."

My heart pounded an erratic rhythm as I fantasized about caving in his skull. "Tony. Remember what I did for your wife?"

"Yes. But I have limits."

"Says the fucking serial killer!"

Tony's unblinking stare dove into me. "Knox, you're having a bad day. Go take a shower and jerk off before you say something you'll regret."

"You owe me." I breathed deeply, thrown by my violent outburst. "I saved her. Her mother, too. If you thought I did that out of kindness, think again. Time is money and that's all I care about, so my favors come with a giant price tag." "This isn't like you."

I drained my mug, slamming it on the table. "Meaning what?"

"You're a miserable ass. More so than usual." Tony swung the plastic bag on my desk. "Is this about Indie?"

Her face flashed in my mind, tormenting me. I buried my head in my palms. Suddenly, I could've slept a million years. I was so exhausted.

I groaned. "Yes."

"Ah, kid. You'll be okay."

I rubbed my temples. His sympathy made me want to throw up.

"Breakups are brutal." Tony's full mouth twitched into a bemused grin as he patted my shoulder. "But I never would've expected you to handle it like this. Didn't you get the juvenile behavior out of your system in high school?" "Never went. My test scores were off the charts. Everyone called me a genius and sent me to MIT." I resented the bitter pang in my heart. "I can't do this anymore, Tony. I need her."

Tony heaved an exasperated sigh. "Well, your game is all wrong."

"What other game is there?"

"The truth," he boomed. "Start by apologizing. You're a mess without her. You fucked up. You love her and wanted her back so badly that you lost control, and you'll do anything to make it right." "I haven't lost control."

A bright mockery invaded his stare. "That's why you had me kidnap your ex. So you could talk to her."

I turned in my seat, facing him fully. "I can't love her. I don't have it in me. She's determined to change everything about me."

He raised an eyebrow. "Is that what she said?"

"She wants me to stop 'controlling' her."

"Then do it, you fucking moron! Jesus. Are you going to be like this for the rest of your life?" He leaned over and smacked my arm. "Huh? You want to be a sorry sack of shit?" "I like how I am."

"Look, Knox. If you want this chick, you'll have to make sacrifices. Real ones. Quit having her followed. Let the poor girl breathe for a hot minute. I promise, she'll come back to you."

A sickening amount of hope lodged in my voice. "Really?"

"Yes. I've seen you two together."

I swallowed hard. "And if she doesn't?"

"Then you move on, buddy."

Give up? The thought of abandoning Indie splintered pain inside me. It felt like accepting death. I shook my head.

"I can't do that."

"If you love her, you'll do anything for her. Even let her go...because her happiness is worth more than yours."

And be miserable forever?

I sneered at him. "Your advice is terrible."

Tony opened the bag, his eyes twinkling as he revealed a tub of Ben and Jerry's Cherry Garcia ice cream. He slid it forward into my hands.

I gaped at him.

"You'll need it." Tony gave me a pitying smile, patted my head, and strolled out.

I fought a childish impulse to throw the pint at Tony's retreating back. Let the poor girl breathe. His suggestion churned in my guts like black tar. Why? So she could marry another man? For months, visions of my future with Indie had tormented me. Our wedding. Her pregnant belly. Children. Was I going to stand aside and allow someone else to take my dream?

My chest caved in.

I can't live without her.

I had to act now. If I didn't, another asshole would offer her what she thought I couldn't give. I had to tell her I loved her. That I'd put all the schedules and rules behind. If she needed me to change, I would try. No. I will. Hand shaking, I called Indie. Blocked. Fuck. My heart pounded as I tried a different phone, but it went straight to voicemail. I ended the call. Never mind. I'd drive to her place.

I stood, and a wave of dizziness crashed into my head. The world tipped sideways. I careened to my right, swept in vertigo, and fell. Pain shattered my arm. I blinked, my cheek stuck against the hardwood floor. I grimaced, trying to raise my torso. My limbs wouldn't respond.

Light footsteps tapped closer as I rolled onto my back. My assistant raced to my side. Her palms cupped my face, and I flinched. Stop touching me. My hand flopped on the floor. I made a weak fist and pushed. "Valerie," I groaned. "Phone."

I collapsed under the weight of crushing fatigue. She hovered above me, her features blurred.

"You'll be okay, Mr. Knox."

I growled, fighting the heavy sensation pressing on my forehead. It commanded me to sleep. My mind floundered as it seized on one word: drugged.

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Again? How?

"Hospital," I choked out. "Now."

"You're fine." Valerie shook her head, her gaze filling with tears. "He said you would be. Oh, Knox. I'm so, so sorry. I just want you to be happy. I care about you so much."

Valerie stroked my hair with a nauseating intimacy. Then she leaned over and kissed my cheek. Bile filled my throat. I turned over and gagged.

Valerie leapt out of the way.

Indie, I love you.

That glowing thought protected like a frail shield as darkness swallowed me. My eyes closed.

I drifted.

How did I get here?

I cursed the sluggish crawl of my thoughts. I lay on a chaise longue, surrounded by fleur-de-lis wallpaper. My eyes roamed over black furniture, white marble, and a buxom blonde who sat way too close. The coffee mug materialized in my head as Valerie came into focus. My assistant drugged me. The scheming, double-crossing bitch.

Valerie lowered her phone. "You're awake. How are you feeling?"

"Betrayed," I snarled.

"I don't blame you." Valerie trembled, her mouth crumpling into an agonized frown. "But I had no choice. You were going to get yourself killed." "What are you talking about?"

She picked at her nail polish. "A man approached me in a bar weeks ago. He was a client of yours. He recognized me from a meeting, I guess." Cainan.

That fucking demon.

She didn't need to mention anything else. He must've been following her, searching for a vulnerability in my security. As for Valerie, Indie was right about this viper. I should've known how dangerous jealousy could be. A cold, numbing chill wrapped my body as she edged closer to me.

"We had a few drinks and talked. I confessed that I...I had a crush on you. He seemed to sympathize. He claimed you were in danger. He told me all about Indie's research, how it'd put you both at risk. He said we needed to help you." "Help me," I repeated hollowly. "By slipping me a roofie?"

"It was only to keep you from running to her."

An angry beat pulsed at the base of my neck as I restrained myself from violence. Valerie didn't seem to notice that I'd concentrated every effort into not slamming her face into the wall. Her dewy-eyed smile nauseated me. "Knox, I'm in love with you."

"Say that again, and I'll choke the light out of your eyes." I swung my legs off the chaise. The slight movement caused so much vertigo that I abandoned my attempt to stand. "And the moment I'm free, I'm filing a police report."

"You don't understand," she whispered, her hands twisting around her purse. "She's getting you involved with dangerous men. Making you do things you've never done before. If you stay with her, you'll end up in jail. Or worse. It's not worth it, Knox. I know you. You were happier without her."

"My happiness is none of your concern."

"I'm doing what's best for you!"

I seized her jaw and pinched it closed. "We are fucking done."

I released her as the lock in the door clicked. The ebony door opened, admitting Cainan closely followed by two guards. He was like a toxic breeze, aggravating my senses. His charcoal gaze swept over Valerie.

"Time's up, darling."

Valerie froze. "We made a deal. You said I'd be with him."

"You were with him for twenty minutes." Cainan checked his watch and motioned to the guards. "Take her out."

Valerie shrieked as Cainan's goons lifted her off the chair and dragged her from the room. Cainan smirked as she clawed the wall in an effort to return to me. Her screams echoed down the hall. Then he shut the door, shaking his head. "You should be more careful about the people in your employ."

I ground my teeth. "She wasn't a nutcase until you got your claws in her."

Cainan sank into the chair across mine, his expression lifeless. "You underestimate me. My greatest thrill has been showing you how powerless you actually are."

"Why are you fucking with me?"

A satanic smile curved his lips. "To show you that I can get to you anytime and anywhere."

I seethed. "This won't happen again."

"No. Because I have Indie."

My stomach plummeted. "She's here?"

Cainan nodded slowly.

My vertigo gone, I jumped off the chaise and headed for the door, my pulse spiking when I realized it was locked. My fist banged the wood.

"She's a good girl," he murmured, standing too close behind me. "She came to me when she found out the story leaked."

Leaked?

I whirled around. "It wasn't me."

"I know. Eliot Carter did it." Cainan crossed his massive arms. "The disgruntled editor you fired? He sent her story to three publications. The Times was planning to publish her article. I managed to stop it, but the wrong people discovered what happened. Now it's too late."

"What do you mean? What did you do?"

He didn't answer.

I twisted the doorknob, then yanked at it. I wrenched madly and shoved my shoulder into the wood.

"She's alive, Knox," he said, sounding somber. "But I'm not sure for how much longer."

Lights popped in my mind as though I were being strangled. There was nothing I could do. I waded in an ocean of fire, trying to reconcile that I was powerless. That I couldn't save her.

But maybe I could. I turned around, clenching my fists.

"What do I have to do?"

His lips twitched. "What makes you think there's a chance?"

"Because this is all part of your design. You're a sadist."

Cainan leaned forward, seething. "I do enjoy the sight of a tyrant on his knees."

"What do you want?"

He stared at me for what seemed like a millennium, then backed away. "They want you thoroughly discredited. By the time I'm done with you, your professional life will be over and your reputation will be ruined, but at least you'll have each other."

"I only care if she lives." Nothing else mattered to me.

"Done."

I let out a ragged sigh. "If I agree to do this, you and the traffickers will leave us the hell alone. Forever."

"I give you my word."

I held out my hand for him to shake. "Deal."

"I'll take you to her."

I followed Cainan into the dreary hallway to the room next door. Indie sat on the bed, white-faced. She sprung off the mattress and flung herself into my arms.

She sank into the crook of my shoulder and shook with silent sobs. I sagged into her, returning the embrace. God, I'd needed this. I dug into her back as she squeezed the breath out of me.

"I'll be outside."

Cainan shut the door, leaving us alone.

"It's all right," I whispered. "I made a deal with Cainan. They'll leave you alone for good."

"Kn-Knox, I'm so sorry."

"Everything's fine." I wasn't sure about that, but at least she would be alive. "Let's get you home."

I had no idea how we made it outside and into a car. Only that I blinked, and the scenery changed. Silent tears streaked her pale cheek as we stopped at her apartment building. I took her hand, my thumb brushing the engagement ring she still wore. She folded into my arms and gripped my back, squeezing me hard.

Tony's advice echoed in my head.

I have to do this.

My throat tightened. "Go."

Indie lifted her head from my shoulder. "What?"

"I can't let you go again." I couldn't give it another second's thought, or the selfish bastard inside me would drag her to my place. "Go. Before I lose control."

Her eyes widened.

I looked away from her, unable to bear any signs of relief. "Leave, if you want. I won't stop you. I won't come after you. I won't contact you ever again."

Silent tears crawled down her cheeks. "You won't?"

"I don't want this," I said, my breath hitching with the pain in my chest. "Letting go of you will kill me. But if it's what you need...I'll do it. I'll do anything for you, Indie. So I'm asking you this one last time. Stay with me. Please. I miss you. Please come home. I...I love you."

My lungs tightened when she blinked rapidly, relaxing only when she crashed into my chest. She sank her fingers into my shirt and cried, then whispered the words I'd been dying to hear ever since we met.

"I love you, too."

A tear slipped down my cheek as I broke down for the first time in twenty years.