Mated To The Beastly Alpha
Chapter 40

"It was just a dream. It was just a dream." Nicole muttered under her breath.

She hated it, and she hated that she was like that. Every day was a battle, and she felt like she was drowning in a sea of fear and pain. She missed her wolf, the part of her that was strong and fearless and hated herself for what she had gone through. She felt like she was some sort of traumatic person who couldn't stand on her own. She hated that she had to be away from the pack to regain her sanity. She hated that she needed caretakers.

Standing up, she began rearranging her room again. She had nothing to do until Asha or Maya came to see her. Liam had made it mandatory for every pack member to train, and she couldn't deny Asha or Maya that.

After cleaning, she brought out her laundry basket, poured out its contents, then sat beside the huge pile of clothes, and began rearranging them into the same basket. She needed to do something to keep her mind off her memories and dreams until Asha arrived with Maya.

Although she wasn't keen on opening up to anyone just yet, she was happy to watch them interact. They were the only ones she was able to accommodate in recent times.

Sure, whenever they came around, Nicole pursed her lips, and her spine automatically stiffened, but they didn't know how much their one-sided conversations were helping her.

It made her want to heal, to let go, to be a bit happy again. But that could only happen when the image of Shane was scrubbed out from her memories, dreams, and even existence.

Shaking her head, she stopped her thoughts from going further. She chose to think of what was good. What was freeing?

Asha had a new crush whom she couldn't stop talking about. Maya, on the other hand, didn't care for crushes. She only believed in mates. So their arguments made an interesting conversation to listen to.

Thankfully, they didn't ask for her opinion most of the time and just kept on with their banter. Other times, they filled her in on happenings in the pack, giving her information that she wasn't interested in. It was good, at least she had learned to smile and talk again, but it wasn't enough.

Nicole sighed and placed another folded piece of clothing into the basket. She was lonely, yet whenever they came over, her body itched for them to be gone. A lone tear streaked down her eyes. She promised herself that she was done crying, but the tears still came. Why did it have to be her? Why was she so unfortunate and different?

It had been a month, and she still couldn't bring herself to talk about what she had gone through. The memories were too painful, too raw, and she didn't want to relive them by speaking about them. She missed her wolf dearly, the one part of herself that had always felt strong and in control.

Her hatred for herself, for what had happened and for the weakness she had shown by allowing herself to be captured and tortured, grew daily.

The worst part was that although she was captured, none of what she experienced was real. Yet, the mere thought of reliving those moments sent shivers down her spine. Why couldn't the images of Shane touching and fondling her be expunged from her brain? Why did it still feel so real? Where was her wolf?

A tingling sensation spread through her fingertips, making her drop the clothing in her hand and stare at her hands.

Liam. A voice in her head said as the tingling continued. Closing her eyes, she inhaled deeply and remembered their encounter. It was like something shifted when she touched him. She was still afraid of him, still unsure if she could trust him.

But when their hands touched as he pulled her up in the forest, something shifted inside of her. It was like a spark ignited, awakening parts of her that she had thought were dead.

In that touch, she felt Liam's pain, his regret, and his longing. She could sense his desire to help her, to protect her, and to make things right. For the first time in a long time, she felt something different. It was like a tiny spark of light in her dark soul. Her body has always wanted him, but this was different.

Her chest was still constricted from all the pain, but there was something new, like a freeing outlet. Was it his mark? Maybe it was the strength in his eyes or the kindness in his voice.

Or maybe it was the way he seemed to understand her without her even having to speak. All she knew was that she wanted to be close to him, to feel the safety and comfort that he seemed to offer.

But even as she felt drawn to him, she couldn't shake the fear that lingered at the back of her mind. She didn't want to be hurt again. She didn't want to be vulnerable in front of anyone. Yet, something about Liam made her want to let down her guard, to open up to him, and to let him in.

When they walked back to the cabin, she couldn't help but feel a sense of uncertainty. She didn't know what the future held, and neither did she know if she would ever fully heal from the trauma she had experienced. But for the first time in a long time, she felt like she had someone to lean on, someone who would be there for her come what may.

And maybe, just maybe, that is enough for now.

After idling around in the house, Nicole wandered into the woods surrounding her cabin. She was out for a walk in the woods, trying to clear her head. This time around, she dared to walk close to the pack dwellings,

listening to the sounds of the animals in the forest, mixed with the ringing out laughter, grunts, whispers, and conversations of pack members. She allowed the chattering and chirping to lead her farther than she'd walked in a while.

She had been lost in the woods and her thoughts until she heard the sounds of the water. It was peaceful, and it called her soul. Curious, she followed the sounds until she could smell the water and everything about it.

Her eyes fluttered close, and she inhaled deeply. As the sweet smell of nature, water, and the wet humus soil at its shore caressed her being, she felt one of the obstructions that had kept her indifferent for a long time dislodge. It felt so good to feel.

She allowed her feet to lead her through the pathway until she stumbled upon Garrett, sitting on a fallen tree trunk, staring off into the distance. Nicole noticed the sadness in his eyes and could sense the pain he was feeling. Startled, she stood frozen for a while. She had heard what happened when a mate was lost. It was even worse if the surviving mate was male. He could go on a killing rampage after going rogue.

She had heard from Asha that Garrett's silence kept everyone at the edge of their seats. They knew it wouldn't be long before he finally exploded, and no one wanted to be around him when he finally let grief and anger eat him.

Wide-eyed and heart-slapping in her chest, she stepped forward. Garrett was so lost that he didn't even sense the movement of her feet.

She would have called out to him, but she was terrified of making him snap. So she threaded silently.

Garrett's head snapped up, and her breath hitched. She couldn't read him, and it terrified her. He slowly got to his feet, his expression stoic and set in stone.

"Hey, Garrett," she said softly.

Garrett managed a weak smile. And before she knew it, she fell into his arms. He felt like kin, like a kin spirit in grief and unending pain. Like a true friend. She hadn't realized how much she missed him until she was in his arms. In many ways, Garrett had been there for him. "Hey, Nicole. What brings you out here?" He croaked, his voice filled with sorrow.

"Just taking a walk," she replied, "What about you?"

"Just needed some fresh air," he said, his voice filled with sadness.

They swayed in silence for a few moments, both lost in their own thoughts. Then Nicole spoke up. "I heard about what happened to your mate. I'm so sorry, Garrett."

Garrett looked away, tears filling his eyes. "I don't know how to go on without her," he said softly.

Nicole felt a pang of sadness for him. She knew what it was like to lose someone one loved. "I know it's hard," she said gently. "But you have to keep going. For her. She would want you to be happy."

Garrett's arms went limp, and he broke the hug. Without a word, he guided her to the trunk. They were both silent again. The tension and fear rippled through the air.

Finally, Garrett spoke.

"I don't know how to go on without her," he repeated, his voice trembling with emotion. "She was everything to me, and now she's gone."

Nicole's heart broke. She couldn't imagine what he was feeling, but it was similar to the unending pain she was in. Her mouth was stuck together as she tried to put forth something encouraging. "I'm so sorry," she said softly. "I can't imagine how hard this must be for you."

Garrett looked at her, his eyes filled with tears. "I don't want to go on," he said. "I just want to be with her again."

Nicole reached out and took his hand. "I know how you feel," she said. "But you have to keep going. You have to honor her memory and live the life she would have wanted for you."

Garrett looked at her with a mix of gratitude and sadness. "You're right," he said, his voice barely above a whisper.

They sat in silence for a few more minutes before Garrett spoke up again.

"Would you like to talk about it?" he asked, "I heard you've become some sort of a recluse."

Nicole gasped. Her body began trembling, but she fought it.

"It's okay, Nicole," Garrett said soothingly. "It's difficult."

"I know we haven't talked much, but I feel like we have something in common. We've both been through a lot of pain and trauma. And I think we could help each other." Nicole gritted out. Garrett looked at her, surprised. "You want to talk about it?"

Nicole nodded. "I don't want to keep it bottled up anymore. And I think you should talk to someone as well."

Garrett hesitated for a moment before nodding. "Okay. Where do we start?"

They talked for hours, sharing their stories and their pain. Nicole tells Garrett about her abduction and the t*****e she endured. How she couldn't come to terms with what she went through was induced and unreal.

Garrett shared his memories of his mate and the pain he felt after her death. They cried together, and for the first time in a long time, Nicole felt like she wasn't alone. It did wonders for them mentally.

So she suggested that they meet secretly and continue communicating. They spent more time together, talking and offering each other support. Garrett encouraged Nicole to interact more with the pack, and she slowly started to feel more comfortable around them again.

It proved to be tremendous for both of them. Surprisingly, Garrett's recovery was faster. He soon began to integrate himself into pack matters again.

One day, Garrett approached her with an idea. "I know you've been looking for a way out of this mess," he said. "It's also impossible for you to go back to old routines. How about I talk to some of the omegas and see if they need any help? It might be a good way for you to get back into the swing of things."

Nicole smiled, grateful for his kindness. "That sounds great, Garrett. Thank you."

Garrett smiled back. "Of course. Anything for a friend."

Nicole felt a sense of warmth in her chest. She had never had a friend like Garrett before, and she was grateful for his presence in her life. As they walked away, she felt hope alive again; things might finally be getting better.