Mated To The Cold Hearted Alpha
Chapter 105

“This will help take the edge off,” Keane mumbled. “I’ll clean you up as best I can while we ride, but I won’t be able to stitch your wounds closed until we get you into a sterile environment.”

F**k. I should hope he didn’t plan on doing any stitching right now. Not with the way the ATV was lurching over the rough terrain. I’d look like Frankenwolf by the time he was done, I thought, my mind a bit altered with the almost immediate effect of whatever drug he’d pumped into my brain. My head felt woozy and my exhaustion ratcheted up about ten notches.

Without warning, something cold was poured over the deep claw wounds in my shoulder, bringing me back to full awareness. Squeezing my eyes shut, body rigid, I cursed, “F**k!”

“I know,” Keane replied tightly, dabbing at the edges of the lacerations with gauze to remove the dirt and grime. “Just hang in there.”

“He needs more for the pain,” Ever snapped.

“I can give him another shot of morphine now,” the healer replied, “but I don’t want him fully sedated until we can get into a controlled environment where I can monitor his vitals.”

Ever made a noise of agreement and frustration.

There was another sharp prick in my arm. I felt the cool liquid enter my veins. And again, drowsiness took over. Keane might not have wanted to fully put me out medically, but my body had had enough, and I drifted into unconsciousness..

~~~~~~

When I awoke next, my eyelids felt heavy. They fluttered as I worked to open them and keep them open. The hazy shape of Ever’s profile came into view. I blinked a few times. Abruptly, his head snapped toward me, chocolate brown eyes assessing me with both concern and extreme relief. He exhaled heavily, “You’re awake.”

I tried to respond but my throat was bone dry and I coughed, causing pain to flare in my chest. I bit back a grunt. Ever quickly reached for a closed container with a bendable straw poking out the top. He maneuvered the drink to me, and I wrapped my parched lips around the end of the straw, sucking ice-cold water into my mouth. I nearly m****d as I sucked greedily. I’d never tasted anything better.

When I finished, I pulled away, letting my head relax against the inclined medical bed I was on.

Ever was silent for a long moment, just staring at me with an unfathomable expression, a flurry of emotions running through his eyes.

Anger

Sorrow

Pain

He had questions. I waited for him to speak.

Finally, Ever swallowed thickly and cleared his throat. Even still, his voice was rough and hitched, “Don’t make me go through that again, Leander.”

Eyes falling shut, my heart twisted at his words and obvious distress.

What I’d done was f****d up. I got it. I couldn’t imagine if the roles had been reversed, how I would have felt. The torment I put him through. The torment I’d put them all through. Every one of them was my pack, my family. My pain was their pain, and I’d slashed straight through their hearts the moment I gave up.

But still, nothing had changed…

I opened my eyes, recognizing the wetness that breached my eyelashes, and tried to explain, “I-I don’t…my Wolf, he can’t…” my stuttered words cut off, hopelessness washing over me.

Ever’s brow furrowed. He leaned closer and gripped my arm, murmuring fiercely, “You are not alone….your Wolf is not alone. Somehow, someway, we’ll get through this together.”

It sounded all well and good, but…

Ever felt my resistance. He recognized my hopelessness. His mouth tightened into a thin line. With new determination, chocolate brown eyes darkened to that of his Wolf. His voice lowered gruffly, part human, mostly animal, “Let me see him.”

I didn’t know what good it would do. If my Wolf had no intention of listening to me, why would he heed another? But at this stage, it couldn’t make things worse. I let my eyes shift and my Wolf pushed forward.

Whatever Ever saw in my haunted Wolf’s eyes caused his breath to hitch. But his resolve didn’t falter. “You are not alone,” he repeated again. “You are pack…family…we are here for you. We won’t let you carry this burden all by yourself.”

My Wolf’s thoughts were in chaos. He couldn’t think past his agony and loss.

From the side, my father’s Wolf stepped into view. I hadn’t seen him sitting on the floor in the corner of the room. Tall and regal with a salt-and-pepper fur coat so much like his beard, he padded next to the bed. His big-boned frame made the room seem suddenly smaller, and his significant height put us at eye level.

“Look at me, young pup,” my father’s Wolf ordered through our mindlink, voice stern but gentle.

My Wolf was already staring intently into his eyes, but I understood the order was meant to lend significance to his next words. “I know it doesn’t feel like it now, but you can survive, you can live again. You’ll never be who you once were, so let go of the past. Let go of the guilt that eats you up inside. You did the best you could. You did your duty to me and your pack when you destroyed the wolves that killed your mother and tore your innocent sister from her womb. Regardless of who they were to your mate, evil like that had to be put down. And for three years, you’ve kept this pack safe from attack. I’m proud of you, son.”

A whimper slipped from my Wolf’s throat. He was overwhelmed by the love found in his father’s eyes.

My father’s almost black orbs glimmered with emotion. Lifting on his hind legs, he placed one big paw on the side of the bed and grasped the scruff of my neck with the other. He pressed his forehead to mine, holding it there while he inhaled and let it out slowly. “And sometimes…even when you love the hardest…it isn’t enough.”

My Wolf didn’t want to hear that. “But she was my mate!” he wailed. “Why couldn’t she love me?!”

My father’s Wolf lifted his big head to look into our eyes again. “War is an ugly thing. People pick sides. They have alliances and loyalties they are not willing to let go…no matter the reason.”

Words were lost to my Wolf. He hung his head.

“You are a worthy Wolf,” My father’s Wolf continued fiercely, his tone growing even gruffer. “You’ve got to be strong now, stronger than you’ve ever been.

There are those that still love and need you. It would kill me to be without you. Don’t leave me here alone.”

Those were the first words that made a difference…

Our pain was great, unbearable. But our father had lost too much already. He was the only b***d family we had left.

Lifting his heavy head, my Wolf whimpered, “I’ll try…”