Monster Slayers MC Book 7
Chapter 4-Hard to let go

We drove home slowly, taking our time, not wanting our time with the kids to end too quickly but driving in the car is not the same as holding them and playing with them or rocking them to sleep.

Everyone was really happy to hear that Jenny was awake but for Dixie and I it was a quiet night. I had one of the prospects take food up to Jenny as soon as it was ready. As soon as dinner was finished, we took the kids upstairs, got their baths and we all watched TV until the kids fell asleep in between us on our bed. Sammy was snuggled up on the other side of Penny from Bucky and they looked so cute together. Unfortunately, all Dixie seemed to be able to do was cry.

“I feel like someone is stealing one of our kids. God, Roo, I don’t think I could do this again. I can’t take in another baby and then have her taken away from me. I’ve come to love Penny and Bucky.” Dixie choked out through her tears.

“Dixie, we always knew there was a chance that Jenny was going to wake up. I care for these kids too but if you feel this way about them after only 2 months, can you imagine what it would be like for Jenny to have to give them up?” I said as I rolled off the bed and began carrying the kids to their beds. Sammy to his crib and Penny and Bucky to the playpen in the makeshift nursery in our closet.

When I returned to bed, I pulled Dixie close and just held her close as she cried herself to sleep.

The next morning, Dixie woke up before me, when Sammy woke up. She took him downstairs for his bottle and I found her cuddling with him in the family living room. The ladies had been decorating for Christmas and the tree had turned out really pretty this year. Dixie was softly singing a Christmas song to him and he just stared up at her as he drank his bottle. I took out my phone and before she realized I was there, I snapped a picture of them.

“Good morning, my love.” I told her as I bent down next to them. I reached out and stroked my son’s hair with one hand and Dixie’s hair with the other.

“Good morning. I was wishing today would not come but I guess it’s really here.” Dixie said.

“Baby, you’ll still be able to see them and be around them. They are going to be living here, if not in the clubhouse, then right next door in her trailer. You will be able to see them everyday. Who knows, she might be a love match for someone here.” I told her, hoping to cheer her up.

“I know. Maybe we can babysit them sometimes. I never thought I could care for someone else’s baby like I do for Sammy but if I can’t get pregnant again, can we really adopt a little girl?” She asked.

“Of course baby. We can adopt a whole bunch of kids if you want.” I told her.

“I just want a baby girl!” Dixie cried and hugged Sammy tightly.

“I know, baby. I’m sure God will grace us with a baby girl when the time is right. Just like he gave us Sammy.” I told her.

“He is a blessing, isn’t he.” She said, sniffling.

“Yeah. You both are.” I said.

When Bucky and Penny woke up, we fed them breakfast and then got them dressed to go to the hospital. We took our time going there but all too soon we were there. Bucky recognized the building and got so excited to see his mom again. We carried them inside, walking as slowly as possible without seeming obvious about it. All too soon we were at Jenny’s door, which was standing open and there was a nurse having her sign her discharge paperwork.

“Mommy!” Bucky yelled as soon as he saw her. The smile on her face was like watching the sun come up when she saw her children. I looked at Dixie and was surprised to see that she also had a smile on her face. Bucky crawled up on the bed and threw his arms around her neck and they hugged each other. Dixie carried Penny right over to Jenny and Penny held out her hands to her mom.

I saw Jenny look up at Dixie and she seemed to realize that it was hard for Dixie to let Penny go when she saw the tears in Dixie’s eyes when she tried to blink them away, unsuccessfully.

“Thank you, Dixie. For taking such great care of my babies.” Jenny said as she hugged her kids.

The nurse came in with a wheelchair and said “Ready to go, Jenny?”

“Yes! Please!” Jenny smiled. She sat down in the wheelchair and she was still carrying Penny and Bucky insisted on riding with her. He climbed up on her lap and I asked her, “Do you want me to take one of them?”

“No, I’m fine, thanks.” She said. “My babies are never too heavy for me, well, at least not yet.”

We checked out and got everyone loaded up and back to the compound. As we entered the house, I asked her. “Are you hungry, Jenny? We fed the kids before we went to get you but I can imagine what the hospital served for breakfast.”

“Oh yes, please. Thank you for the dinner last night, it was wonderful and you were right about hospital food. Breakfast was terrible. Undercooked bacon, runny scrambled eggs and burnt toast and I swear, that coffee was like used oil. One bite of everything and I gave up and just drank the apple juice.” Jenny said. “Wow! This place is very impressive.”

“It’s home to a lot of people and I hope you will be comfortable here as well. But we do have your trailer parked out back, if you prefer.” I told her, as we walked into the dining room. “Here have a seat and I’ll replace out what Claire has for you to eat.”

Dixie helped Jenny put Penny in a highchair and Bucky climbed up on a chair next to his mom. “Uncle Rooster, can I have some juice, please?” He asked.

I went into the kitchen and found Claire and Mindy discussing lunch and dinner plans. “Hey, what do you have for Jenny to eat? She couldn’t stomach hospital food and she’s hungry.” I asked as I poured juice for the kids in a sippy cup for Penny and a plastic juice glass for Bucky. He had objected the first time we had poured his drink in a sippy cup, claiming he’s not a baby and can drink out of a regular cup so since then, we’ve been letting him have it that way.

“I’ve got some pancakes leftover and there’s a few strips of bacon left. Won’t take but a minute to make her some scrambled eggs.” Claire said.

“Great! That should be enough. If you don’t mind?” I said. “When you are done, come out and meet her.”

“Okay. Be out in a minute.” Claire said.

I carried the kids drinks out and Mindy followed me with a cup of coffee for Jenny and a small plate with sugar and creamer on it as well as some silverware.

“Jenny, this is Mindy. She’s also a recent rescue. She’s Knuckle’s wife. They just came back from their honeymoon last week.”

“Nice to meet you, Mindy. Where did you go for your honeymoon?” Jenny asked.

“Welcome to the MSMC, Jenny. We went to Jamaica for a whole week. Rio was a blast and we had so much fun!” Mindy replied, immediately liking the young woman.

Dixie excused herself to go check on Sammy about the same time that Claire came out of the kitchen with Jenny’s breakfast. She had also made some toast for the kids too, knowing that kids can always eat no matter how long it had been that they had just eaten.

“Jenny, this is my sister Claire. She just got married to our computer guru, Circuit. They just spent a week in the Bahamas on their honeymoon.” I told her as I sipped on the cup of coffee that Claire had brought for me.

“Welcome, Jenny. You have some beautiful kids. They are very well mannered.” Claire said as she sat down next to Mindy.

“Thank you. The Bahamas was where Mike and I went on our honeymoon. A whole week of laying on the beach and going boating. That’s where I got pregnant with Bucky.” Jenny said with pink cheeks.

We sat and visited while Jenny ate. Dixie came back carrying a freshly bathed Sammy and sat him in a highchair next to Penny.

“OH, is this your son?” Jenny asked.

“Yes. This is our Sammy.” Dixie said with pride in her voice.

“He’s adorable.” Jenny smiled at Dixie. “Thank you again for taking such good care of my kids. I’m glad they had someone to show them some affection while I was out of it.”

“They are good kids and they worked their way into the hearts of just about everyone here. Eagle and Annalisa’s little girl, Carmella, took a real liking to Bucky. Hunter and Marley’s little boy, Simon, is a little older than Bucky but they are good friends too.” I told her.

We spent some time visiting but it didn’t take long for Jenny to get tired. “I don’t want to be rude and I know I’ve been asleep for over 2 months but I’m very tired and now that my stomach is full, I’m kind of sleepy. Can I impose on you to watch my kids for me so that I can take a nap?” She asked.

“Of course and it’s no imposition, really. Mindy, would you mind keeping an eye on the kids while I show Jenny where she will be staying?” Dixie said.

“Sure. No problem.” Mindy said.

Bucky started to get off of his chair when he saw Jenny stand up but she told him, “Son, I’m going to go lay down for a little while. You stay here and help Aunty Mindy watch your sister. Okay?”

“Okay mommy. I’ll watch Sissy.” Bucky said as Jenny bent down and kissed both of her kids on their cheeks before following Dixie upstairs.

Jenny’s POV

I followed Dixie upstairs, not sure at first what to say to her. It was plain to me that she had fallen in love with my kids, especially Penny. I could see it in her eyes whenever she looked at my precious daughter.

I was in wonder at the sheer size of the clubhouse and wonder what Mike would think of it now. “I had no idea that the clubhouse was going to look like this. It’s very impressive and not at all like what Mike described to me. He wanted so badly to come and look you all up when we came back here but he was so limited on time. He barely got us packed out of our house and our stuff in storage before he had to ship out.” I told her.

“We had a fire about a year ago and the old clubhouse was so badly damaged that it would have cost us more to repair the old clubhouse than to just start over. Besides, the old house was in bad need of so much that it just made more sense to knock it down and start over. I wish Mike could see us now. He would be so surprised.” Dixie told me.

“Oh, I don’t know. Mike used to talk about you guys all the time but he didn’t refer to Rueben as Rooster, but I do have to say that the name Rooster fits him from how Mike described him. Are John, James and Ben still a part of the club?” I asked, knowing them all by their real names and not their road names.

“Yeah, well except for James. We called him Ox but he and his wife Tango were killed by another rival gang that came looking for Hunter’s wife, Marley. We don’t call them by those names anymore and please don’t call them that in front of anyone else. John is now Hunter. And Ben is known as Boomer.” Dixie told me.

“Okay. Man, I hope I don’t slip up and call them by their real names since that’s all Mike ever called them. So Hunter is married and has a little boy?” I asked as we walked down the hall, which seemed to go on forever.

“Yes. His wife Marley was our first rescue woman to replace her match here. She wasn’t our rescue but stayed at the farm where one of our rescues was going to stay. Marley came to pick up Charlie and she and Hunter took one look at each other and I will never forget the looks on their faces. You could almost see the little hearts coming out of the tops of their heads. Now they have two kids, a little boy just a bit older than Bucky named Simon and a little girl named Faith, who is just a month younger than my son, Sammy.

You’ll have a chance to learn all of the women’s stories soon.” Dixie said as we finally stopped at a door. “Here, this will be your room.” She said as she pulled out a key and unlocked the door. She swung the door open and I couldn’t help the small gasp that left my lips.

“Wow! This is like a 5 star hotel suite! It’s beautiful.” I said as I stepped inside and looked around. The walls were painted a pale gray, darker gray carpet on the floor, a silvery gray comforter on a four poster bed that was white. The dresser and night tables were a matching white and there is a seating area, done in dark gray suede off to one side in front of some french doors that overlooked the backyard. The curtains were a nice deep charcoal gray but what really impressed me was the huge walk-in closet and the luxurious ensuite bathroom. This was going to be something I was going to love after living in that tiny little trailer for over a year now.

“Dixie! I don’t know what to say. This is pure luxury after that tiny little trailer.” I told her.

“I hope you don’t mind but we had your things moved over here. The kids’ clothes are already in the dresser and we’ll loan you a playpen for them to sleep in until we can get them some other furniture. Bucky is so cute the way he cuddles up to Penny when they sleep.” Dixie said, pulling out her phone and showing me some pictures she had taken of my kids sleeping together.

“Bucky got even more protective of her after Gerald started coming around. I should have paid more attention to the fact that neither of my kids liked him. I’ve heard that children can tell when someone is not a good person.

Gerald is a nice person when he’s not drinking but as soon as beer or whiskey touches his lips it’s like someone has flipped a switch and he becomes pure evil. The problem was that over the past few months, he’s been drinking almost constantly. He sold my car and then started stealing my benefit checks and then had the nerve to refuse to buy things we needed. If I said anything to him, he’d get mad and start slapping me around.

We got into a knock down drag out fight about a month or so after the first time he came around drunk because he went after Bucky when I was outside. He hit him several times before I could get back in the house. I tried to make him leave but the damned worthless cops didn’t do anything about it. Didn’t even arrest him. They just told him to not hit me and the kids anymore. I was afraid to sleep when he was around because I was worried that he would try to smother them in their sleep or something.” I shared with her. I don’t know why I was opening up to her like this but I needed to talk to someone and Mike had always told me that if I ever needed someone, that I could count on his friends.

“Why didn’t you come to us before this?” Dixie asked me.

“I wanted to but Gerald broke my phone. Hell, he would barely let me go outside and if he heard me talking to anyone, he would get furious and make me bring the kids back in the trailer and then complain about them making the smallest little noise. Penny has been cutting teeth so she was in pain. I kept telling him that if he didn’t want to hear her cry because she was hurting then he needed to buy some orajel and baby tylenol. You wanna know what he told me? “Give her some whiskey. She’ll not feel anything and maybe she will sleep instead of whining all the time.”

“My God! Who the hell even suggests something like that? We’ve run into some real monsters in what we do and thankfully we got you guys out before he killed one of you.” Dixie said. “Before I go, Jenny, I need to explain something to you about living here.

First of all, you never repeat anything you hear or see while you are in the club house no matter what it is. Next, until Rooster introduces you to the rest of the household, do not wander around alone in the house. Rooster has already told everyone that you are what we call “Untouchable” but none of the men know what you look like and you don’t want to be mistaken for a sweet butt. Understand?”

“Are the other men dangerous?” I couldn’t help but ask.

“No! No one here will hurt you but Rooster has deemed you as someone they are not to put their hands on without an invitation first. Sweet butts seem to thrive on having a man treat them like the guys are cavemen and they enjoy having a man just grab them and have their way with them. Sometimes they will even have sex right in front of everyone. But don’t worry, they are not allowed to come around all the time and never while the children are up or around.

Right now, Rooster has them restricted to only Thursday, Friday and Saturday nights and they can’t come around until the children are in bed. We try to have the kids in their rooms by 8 pm. The sweet butts are allowed in at 8:30 but can’t come upstairs until 9 pm and must be out before dawn and they are no longer allowed to run around naked in the house anymore, thank goodness. When Rooster’s father, King, was in charge, it was very different but when Rooster took over, he really changed things a lot.” Dixie told me.

I tried to fight the yawns that seemed to keep coming because I really wanted to talk to her some more but I was so tired and I was still feeling very weak. “I’m sorry but I guess being in a coma for so long takes more out of you than you realize.” I told her.

“I understand. You go and rest and I’ll check on you in a couple of hours. Don’t worry about Bucky and Penny. We’ll look after them until you are back on your feet again.” Dixie told me, as she walked towards the door.

“Thank you, Dixie. If I wake up before you come back, can I come downstairs on my own?” I asked.

“Sure, so long as it’s still daylight outside. If anyone stops you in the hall or approaches you, just tell them who you are. The men have all been told your name.” Dixie said with a smile. “Now get some rest. I’ll come back and check on you around lunch time. Sleep well and have sweet dreams.”

As soon as Dixie left, I looked in the dresser and found one of my comfy sleep t-shirts, which was actually one of Mike’s old football shirts, and changed my clothes. I pulled the shirt over my head and went to close the drapes.

I pushed the comforter down on the bed and crawled between the soft cotton sheets. You would think that after being asleep for 2 months that I wouldn’t be able to nap during the day but even the little bit of exertion I had today in just getting here from the hospital and then climbing the stairs, I felt wiped out and it wasn’t long before I fell into a deep sleep.

Dixie’s POV

I left Jenny’s room and walked back downstairs with mixed feelings. It had been tearing me up inside knowing I was going to have to give Penny back to her and I had to keep reminding myself that Penny was her daughter and not mine.

I walked back down the hall and went downstairs. I found Nessa, Tiana, Jullian, Mindy and Marley in the family living room with the kids.

“Hey, Tiana. How are you doing?” I asked her.

“I’m good now that I’m out of that room for a little while. I was about to go stir crazy in there. Little Tony seems to be glad to be out here too.” Tiana said with one of her rare sweet smiles.

“So how is Jenny settling in?” Mindy asked me.

“Remember the first time you saw your room? Well she was impressed by hers but more tired than anything else. I’ll go back and check on her when it’s lunch time. Is Claire cooking today?” I asked.

“Yeah but I should probably go see if she needs help.” Mindy said as she stood up and left the room.

“You look upset, Dix. What’s wrong?” Marley asked quietly when she picked up on my mood right away.

“I just made the huge mistake of letting myself get too attached to Penny and Bucky, especially Penny and now that Jenny’s going to be okay, it’s hard to let go. I love my son to death but I want a little girl so bad!” I said, trying very hard not to cry.

“Don’t give up, Dixie. Dreams do come true! I’m proof of that!” Marley said, giving me a one armed hug as we sat together on the sofa.

“Hey Dixie. I’ve got a question for you. Has anyone ever called on Nancy and her little brother and sister? I mean, they don’t come down for meals and in fact, since they went in that room, I’ve never seen her come out.” Nessa asked.

“Manny and Cheryl have kind of been overseeing them and I went up and talked to her a couple of times while they were away on their honeymoon. Her little brother is doing better but the little girl is still afraid of everyone. I wouldn’t be surprised to replace out that her father abused her in more ways than just hitting her. I need to get in touch with Dr. Jill and replace out if she can come by and talk to them.” I replied. “She apparently was away dealing with some personal family matters but is supposed to be back in her office soon.”

With that incentive to focus on instead of how I was feeling about Penny, I pulled my cell phone out and found Dr. Jill’s number and hit the call button.

Three rings and Dr. Jill answered “Hello?”

“Dr. Jill? It’s Dixie from the MSMC. Do you have a minute?” I asked.

“Sure, Dixie. What can I do for you?” Dr. Jill asked.

“We rescued a young woman and her younger brother and sister a couple of months ago. Nancy, the young woman, seems to be doing fine but the two little ones are really struggling, especially the little girl. She’s terrified of everyone and they’ve all been holed up in their room since they got here. Do you think you could stop by and talk to them?” I asked.

“Sure. I can come by tomorrow in fact, say around 10 am?” Dr. Jill said.

“That’s great! Thanks. I’ll let her know you are coming. Plan on staying for lunch.” I told her then hung up. I turned and told everyone, “She’ll be here at 10 am.”

We all sat around and visited until Mindy came in and said that lunch was ready. Since Sammy had fallen asleep in his playpen, I took off and went upstairs to check on Jenny. I knocked softly on her door and didn’t have to wait long before she opened the door. She had taken a shower and her hair was still wet but she was fully dressed.

“Hey, I was just thinking about you. Do you happen to have a blow dryer I could borrow? That shower felt wonderful! Who left the great smelling strawberry soap in there?” Jenny said, obviously feeling refreshed after her nap.

“Marley makes the soap and most of the ladies use it. As for a blow dryer, come on down to my room and it shouldn’t take long to dry your hair. Mine takes a while because it’s so long and thick. I’ve been tempted more than once to cut it short like yours.” I told her.

“I used to wear it longer but when I gave birth to Penny, I started losing it like mad and the doctor said that cutting it short would slow down the shedding until I got my hormones under control. I will say that it is much cooler in the summer months.” Jenny said as we left her room.

“Make sure you keep your door locked, especially when you are not in there. No one will steal from you here but we just don’t want sweet butts getting into rooms when they are here. Making a habit out of locking it is just safer for everyone.” I told her.

We walked down to our room and she quickly dried her hair and then she asked “Doesn’t Sammy sleep in here with you?”

“Yes. We converted our walk-in closet to a part time nursery for him. We still have some of our clothes hanging in part of it but most of our stuff is up at our house up the hill. I just get so lonely up there with Rooster down here all the time that we stay down here more than up there.”

As soon as she was done with her hair, we walked downstairs and Rooster met us at the bottom of the stairs as he came out of his office. “Well, Jenny, how are you feeling? Did you get a nap?” He asked.

“Yes, I did and I feel much better now. The nurses were in and out of my room every couple of hours last night so I didn’t get much sleep and I was worrying about my kids. I’ve never been away from them overnight before.” Jenny said.

“Well, Bucky does have some nightmares, especially after we tried to feed him broccoli one night for dinner and one other time when he objected to the mac and cheese because it wasn’t like you make it but other than that, they’ve been fine.” Rooster told her.

“No kid likes broccoli but Gerald refused to let me take it out of some Chinese take out one night and forced Bucky to eat it and then got mad and kept yelling at him about wasting good food when he threw it up because he was crying so hard. Man, am I ever glad to be away from him finally!” Jenny said.

As we entered the dining room, Bucky saw his mom and came running to meet her. “Mommy! Mommy!” He yelled as he ran towards her. She bent and scooped him up and gave him a big hug.

“Hey Bucky! Are you hungry?” Jenny asked.

“Yes, ma’am. I was playing with my friend, Simon and now I’m hungry.” Bucky said. He’s only 4 years old but he’s very intelligent and older than his years. Marley had told me that he reminds her very much of Max with his mannerism.

Jenny sat him down on his feet and told him “Well, let’s go get in line and get some food, okay?” she said as she looked around and saw Nessa feeding Penny some bottled toddler food. She helped Bucky make a small plate for himself while she made one for herself that didn’t contain much more than what he had. I heard him whisper to her “Their mac and cheese is not as good as yours but it’s okay. Can you teach them to make it right?”

I could tell that Jenny had to bite the inside of her mouth to keep from laughing at him but she said “When they are having that, I’ll just ask if I can make it the way you like it. Okay?” and Bucky nodded. He carefully carried his plate so that it wouldn’t spill as they walked over to where Nessa was sitting and feeding Penny. She helped him put his plate on the table and then he climbed up on the chair and sat on his knees so that he could reach the table.

Everyone enjoyed the lunch as always and not long after everyone was done eating, the kids began to sag at the table and we knew it was time for naps. Jenny carried Penny and Rooster carried Bucky back up to their room while I took my son and went back to ours.

The afternoon seemed to fly by, the women in the library getting to know Jenny and she got introduced to all of them. We shared pictures of our other halves and Jenny got one of her photo albums from her trailer and showed them pictures of Mike.

Rooster and the men were downstairs in the gym. Rooster, Boomer and Hunter have been watching and evaluating all of the members on their skills. Rooster was really pushing for all the members to work on their weaknesses and building up their strengths.

When dinner was ready, there were only a few men not present but Rooster called everyone’s attention and introduced Jenny and explained who she was and that she was now under the protection of the club.

After everyone was finished eating, I carried Sammy upstairs and cleaned him up and changed him into his pajamas. He fell asleep almost right away. As I laid my son down in his crib and was just standing and watching him sleep when Rooster came up behind me and wrapped his arms around me.

“You alright, baby?” He whispered in my ear as he nuzzled my neck.

“Yeah. I’ll be fine. I can tell that Jenny really loves her kids. At least I’ll be able to be around them. But I do want a little girl of my own.” I told him as I turned in his arms to face him and hold him close.

“Want to start working on one now?” He grinned down at me and wiggled his eyebrows as he pushed against me.

“Well, the doctor told me that I need to wait until Sammy is at least 2 years old before we try for another one but on his next birthday, I’m going to stop taking the shot. I only started taking it after he was born because the doctor warned me that it would be dangerous for me to get pregnant again too soon. But you know as well as I do that getting pregnant again is going to be a one in a million shot.” I told him then grinned at him, wiggled my eyebrows and added “But that doesn’t mean we can’t practice!”

“Alright! I was hoping you were going to say that!” He said as he picked me up and carried me over to our bed. We didn’t even have a chance to get naked when a knock came at our door.

“Prez, there’s a Captain Dickerson on the phone for you. He said it’s urgent.” A voice that sounded like Kevin called out.

“I’ll be right there.” Rooster called back and then he turned to me and said “I’m sorry. If I don’t have to go out, how about we go home tonight?”

“You won’t hear no from me. I’ll keep my fingers crossed that he’s just wanting to go fishing.” I told him. Rooster had mentioned Captain Dickerson saying he wanted to go fishing one day.

“Hmm. Let’s hope!” Rooster said then kissed me one more time before he let me go and went to replace out what was going on.