96
Kristina's pov
My heart was hammering in my chest so hasty and painful I was scared it was about to jump out. I place my palm over, closing my eyes as I count toten.
I had just peed on the three pregnancy sticks and had set them on the closed toilet lid, not sure if it was a good idea but right now my brain was toooverworked to think of a better place.
I leaned against one of the metal walls and let out a sound that came out like a sigh or maybe a sob? I wasn't sure.
I can go out to face the girls. I know they'd comfort me while we wait for the results. But I can barely bring myself to move. I am like grounded,cemented where I am.
The only thing keeping me up is the metal wall and the fact that if I fall, I may not be able to even hold in the tears I am trying so desperately to keepfrom spilling out.
I bit my tongue, count down the minutes the box told me to wait. It feels like time too fast yet too slow at the same time. The more time drew out themore my little heart pounded
My clammy hands gripped my arms, my nails scrapping against my skin. I hated the wait, but I hated not knowing more. So I'll wait.
I peeled my eyes open, my gaze on the wall across me. It was time to look but I can't bring myself to lol at the tests. Hell, I can't even bring myself tothink of what I'd do if I were even pregnant.
My parents will kill me. And Justin....even in class he had avoided staring at me, speaking to me, it’s like I didn’t exist and it hurt.What would he say or do?
I swallowed, my clammy hands now trembling with nerves. "Kristy?" Bailey called out and I snapped out of it.
I shuffled to the tests, still not able to look at it. I hated being so weak. "I'm fine. I'll be out in a minute." I sniffled.
Come on Kristy, look down at the tests. Look down
"You okay in there?" Mira questioned, sounding worried. I am sure if I did not answer they'd burst through the door.
Am I okay? Am I okay though?
Just a look Kristy. Just take a peek.
And I did. And my world stopped.
"Yeah," I croaked out. "I just," I took in a shaky breath and opened the door, my heart pounding. my stomach curling with nausea.I think I'm about to throw up.
They're looking at me with wide eyes, wide concerned eyes and I wished I could tell them that I am fine, lie to them that Iam okay and my life had notjust done a one eighty in a matter of minutes.
But I can't lie to them. I can't tell them I am okay when I am not. I can't fucking lie.
"Kristy?" Bailey whispered, moving closer to me. She looked so worried. Did I look so messed up? Was it telling on my face how much I wascrumbling inwardly?
Can they tell I was on the verge of having a meltdown?"I'm- I'm pregnant."
Those words tore through my throat painfully and I swore my legs nearly gave out under me. But I latched on the stall. breathing as if I am unable toget lungs into my air.
A panic attack."Kristy!" Both Mira and Bailey yelled, reaching for me and pulling me to them. Perhaps I was about to fall.
They hugged me, whispering how everything was going to be okay. I was not sure they were right about this. Not when who got me pregnant was ateacher at our school and I was seventeen years old.
I had royally screwed up when I fell for him.
We all slid down to the floor, which was probably not a good idea but what we didn't really care at the moment. We just sat down, the both trying tosoothe me and give me encouraging words.
A minutes go by until I no longer have any tears left and my cries turn to whimpers. Mira pulls away and her eyes shot to the tests. “How do you knowif it's correct? Is it one line or two?"
I froze and then it hit me. I didn't think I read the tests correctly. "Can you get the box?" I said in embarrassment.
Mira's brows drew and she nod, standing up and going to the stall I had just been in. She picked up the box and starts reading it."Two lines shows you're pregnant.” she drawled and looked down at the tests I still had in my hand
I looked down as well and my face flamed.
"There are no two lines," I mumbled with embarrassment. Bailey looked at me with surprise and amusement.
"I'm not pregnant am I?" I whispered with humiliation.
Mira shook her head. "I don’t think you are. All three tests show you're not.”
"Oh," I whispered, unsure why I feel a bit disappointed. Maybe I crazily wanted to be pregnant for Justin, because maybe that would be the only wayhe'd look at me again after that day.
And maybe just maybe, I wanted a part of him even though it was forbidden.
"I'm not pregnant,” I relieved a sigh. That's a good thing though, I haven't ruined his life further and I would not be labeled as a teen mom.
Yet, even though there was nothingconnecting Justin and I, I wantedhim to [Sok at me and wanted himto wart me. Crazy I know. Butysuppose I like the forbidden fruit and'n-still burning for him. Contentbélongs ~
I also knew I had to have this conversation with him. We can't be too toeing around each other anymore. I needed to tell him about this scare.
"Do you think I'm weird for falling inlove with@ man I know I shouldnt?" Iwhispered, staring down at thosetests. -wondered what I would havesaicto him or react if those teswere doubled. Conten belongs ike) ”
Bailey shook ner head and gave myhand a squeeze. "It's not weird at all.Love isn't something you can plan, itjust happens and we can't choose>who we-fall for. Love is ageless-andnot ptahy understand it, not manywilkagree to it. But it's thereand itwon't go anywhere. Love is eternaland you're not crazy for feeling it.”
I feel crazy. I feel crazy for loving my art teacher even though I know we could never be.
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