My Fiancée Hates Me
Chapter 85: Suffocating

For the next few weeks, I stayed in the hospital with Erik almost constantly by my side monitoring my health. He continuously entertained me with exciting stories or would bring me books to entertain myself with. My best friend Charlotte and a nice girl named Grace also visited me. No matter how much I wanted to remember Grace, nothing came up as if my memory was being purposely blocked by some force. In almost no time at all, my physical injuries healed but my memories of this alternate youth life did not seem like returning at all.

On top of that all, I noticed a common topic that everyone seemed to avoid talking about. Not one person told me about my relationship with the current Garett.

Erik told me stories about myself from this timeline that I almost found unbelievable. I had saved my mother from her fatal illness, practiced martial arts and swordsmanship, and even became part of the Beautification Committee.

I could not remember anything other than a longing attachment to someone in the depths of my memory...

"My mother avoided death in this life...I am so happy to hear that," I said with a smile on my face.

"She has been doing very well since I had last spoken to her. We can go visit her together once you are better if you wish," Erik said as he held my hand.

My heart felt comforted, but a slight unease came over.

"Do you remember the day of my mother's funeral?" I asked.

The memory of Erik sitting beside me while I was mourning for my mother's loss continues to be one of my strongest and deepest memories with Erik.

"I do apologize for that day. Even though the Duchess lost her life to quickly, I could not come back from my schooling abroad in time to console you," Erik said as he squeezed my hand.

Huh?

"I could have sworn..."

"If I was there, I would have given you a strong hug like this!" Erik said as he brought me to a strong hug.

I clearly remember Erik sitting by my side for hours after the funeral because I refused to leave. The face in my memory suddenly began fading and turned into a pitch-black nothingness.

I was suddenly filled with a deep dread.

"...Erik, please tell me something," I pleaded.

"What is it, Arielle?" Erik asked as he released me.

"I am confused. Why are even my most precious memories clouded with darkness?" I asked Erik.

Erik hugged me tightly.

"Don't force yourself to remember anything if it hurts you," Erik said.

It is not that it hurts as much as there is an empty feeling in the back of my mind like I am forgetting something important.

Erik does not seem like he wants to say anything because he worries for me. However, this kindness of his slightly suffocating.

I thought I was used to his coddling and overbearing love, but somehow there is a slight disconnection.

"I am fine," I said as I pushed Erik away.

"Ari, if you are uncomfortable anywhere, I want you to tell me. You don't have to push yourself all of the time," Erik said.

"As your fiancée, is it only natural for me to push myself all of the time?" I asked.

"Pardon?"

"There is no such thing as the perfect fiancée. It is even worse if I am going to be crowned as Crown Princess, so I should work hard at regaining my lost memories. It will be difficult if I have to redo everything when I re-take all of those classes again," I said.

"You don't need to do that," Erik said.

Don't force yourself...don't push yourself...don't need to do that...all sound considerate, but I do not like the sound of those words for some reason.

I think I wanted you to tell me that you to tell me to do my best as I always have been doing. I feel like I am alone right now.

It is a little bit stifling...

"...That reminds me. Is Garett not coming back to see me at all? Is he still mad at me?" I asked.

"...He is not the kind to stay mad at you," Erik said with an awkward smile.

There it is again...

Why is he awkwardly smiling like that?

"What are you hiding from me?" I asked.

"It is better that you don't remember," Erik said.

"Am I too weak to handle the truth?" I asked.

"...Exactly," he answered coldly.

Erik showered me in his love, but sometimes was a bit overbearing. He treated me as if I was someone who needed his constant protection. I want to be by his side and protect him too as his equal, but I can probably never be equal to this person because he would never let me be as long as I stay by his side.

"...I would like to be alone for now," I said.

"I will be back soon," Erik said as he left.

The nurse soon came by with some extra pillows.

"Thank you for bringing extra pillows...I do not recall asking for extra pillows though," I said.

"A boy ordered them for you," she said.

"I see...Erik did," I said.

"No, it was a different boy. He said that you sleep better when you have lots of pillows around you. You know, the one who has always been by your side, the one with black hair," she said as she added pillows underneath my back.

"Garett?"

"Yes, that is the boy's name," she said.

"Did he have black hair, large round glasses, and a permanent scowl on his face?" I asked as I imitated Garett's usual scowl by pushing my eyebrows together with my fingers.

The nurse laughed as if my mimicry of Garett was humorous.

"He certainly looks that way when he is talking to people he does not seem to like, but he has a very gentle smile whenever he is with you," she said.

"With me?"

"He is always around you and always looked at you gently. Whenever you came to the hospital, he always took great care of you day and night, so I always assumed that he was your significant other," she said.

Erik is my fiancé...why else would he take care of me? Why is Erik asking me to not remember? Did something happen between us three?"