My Mate Is An Omega
My Mate Is A Virgin Chapter 13

Jasper POV

A mate's presence was known to be relieving to their fated partners, but because of the s****l tension between Dree and I, sleeping beside her was always slightly unsettling. Tonight, however, it was even worse than usual, and it wasn't because of my hard d**k. I had grown used to the constant guilt I felt ever since I learned about her being a virgin. I was ashamed of my past. Of how it prevented me from giving her what she wanted. Of how I kept running. Of the lies I was feeding her. Of what Sasha would think of me if she saw the way I was acting. And most importantly, I was ashamed of how I had turned my back on my princess after the first intimate moment we shared.

I thought her l**t would die down if I helped her reach her release, even if I didn't do it in the way she was expecting. I hoped it would appease her some. In my head, it sounded like a brilliant way of keeping her satisfied while also calming down my nerves, which would in turn allow me to postpone the responsibilities I would have to face a little longer.

When she immediately begged me for more after I tasted her, I came down from my high. I remembered what marking her meant, and how I wasn't ready to commit to it yet. At the time, breaking eye contact and pushing myself away from her was the only way I could think of to set my thoughts straight. It was instinctive. But after I realized how much of a jerk I had been by doing so, my heart broke.

The whole night, the guilt was eating me up from the inside, making it impossible for me to rest. s**t! Why was it so hard for me to keep up with my façade now? Why couldn't I be comfortable being the worthless stray anymore?

"Because you were never a worthless stray! Believing that just made it easier for you to cope." Phoenix's voice took me by surprise. He had been giving me the cold shoulder since I denied our mate's direct request. "And now, you have someone you wish would see a different side of you, but you have given it up so long ago, you're afraid you won't be able to replace it anymore. You're afraid the failure you've pretended to be will prove to be true."

Although I didn't reply to his deep analysis of my subconscious, his words kept ringing in my head. For the first time, I actually wondered if he was right. My thoughts and feelings kept me awake until my alarm went off, and I couldn't believe how quickly - yet tortuously slowly the hours had passed. I noticed Dree was still asleep by my side, a good distance away from me on my spacious king-sized bed. I considered pressing my lips against the top of her head in hopes it would magically fix everything, but she would probably slap me if I tried. With a heavy sigh, I rolled out of bed and put on my sports shorts before leaving the room.

Thankfully, training helped me unwind. Nothing helped clear my head more than a few good blows to the face. By the time I was dismissed along with the other warriors, I had decided I would make it up to Dree by inviting her to another date. Hopefully she would accept to go out with me if I begged on my knees. I was clueless when it came to romance, but maybe I could ask Cait for advice to make sure I would plan the perfect night.

After cleaning my new bruises in the gym bathroom, I rushed back into the pack house and up the stairs. My princess usually waited to have breakfast in the room with me, but to my surprise, she wasn't there. A weird feeling made my stomach turn, but I decided to just ignore it. Taking a deep breath, I easily picked up her scent and followed it outside again.

The scene that played before my eyes as I reached the town square made me freeze in my spot.

Andromeda was sitting at one of the stone tables with her guard right beside her. The proximity between them alone made my skin crawl, but what really tore me apart were the sounds of pleasure coming out of her mouth as Wade's large fingers massaged her shoulders. Even though they were in public and fully clothed, their interaction had some kind of s****l connotation. At least to me it did.

And it broke me. The feeling of betrayal made me want to turn around and run away like I always did, but the emotions I had been bottling up until now seemed to speak louder. I clenched my fists, my wolf's growls of warning reverberating in my throat. In the end, there was only so much I could take.

"Get your dirty hands off her," I said through gritted teeth. The bastard turned in my direction, but from the corner of my eyes, I noticed that Dree was still ignoring me.

"Did you say something, wolfy? I didn't quite hear you," Wade teased, his yellow smile fueling my anger.

"Get. Your hands. Off. My mate!" This time, my roar echoed through the open space. I was sure everyone was staring at us now, but for once, I didn't care about being the center of attention. I just wanted to rip the fucker's head off.

"Your mate?" He raised an eyebrow at me, scoffing. The hairs on my neck bristled when his tough hand brushed through my princess' golden hair as he lifted her strands to expose the back of her neck. "I don't see your mark on her."

That was it. Blinded by rage, I rushed over to them and shoved Wade to the side. I expected him to fight me, and when I heard his laughter, I honestly wished he would have. Turning my attention to the woman who constantly drove me mad, I wrapped my hand around her wrist, pulling her off her seat, and without warning, I started dragging her through the town square, towards the pack house.

"Hey! Let go of me!" she complained, but I didn't budge. We were almost at the entrance of the main building when she finally decided to stand her ground, and being stronger than me, she easily released herself from my grip, forcing me to look at her. "What the f**k were you doing with him?!" I screamed at her, my patience gone.

She rested both her hands on her waist, furrowing her brows. "Oh, so I owe you explanations now?"

"Yes!" I threw my hands in the air, my eyes wide in distress. "You're my mate, for Goddess' sake!" "Yet you refuse to claim me!"

"So you go off and lead him on just to get on my nerves?!" I stretched my arm out in the direction where we left the fucker before turning around to head inside. "Very mature of you!"

"Look who's talking! You've act like a f*****g child ever since I met you!"

Her words made me stop dead in my tracks. Suddenly, all of my anger subsided as sadness took over me. With my back to her, I faced the floor in shame.

"You're right," I admitted in a calmer voice. "It's just..." I wanted to be honest with her. I really did. But there was no way she would ever listen. I shook my head. "You wouldn't understand." As I kept walking, I expected her to let me go. Instead, she followed me. "If you don't tell me, I sure as hell won't!"

I sighed. "I'm afraid if I do, you'll just think I'm...useless. Like everyone else does."

"Why would they think that?" There was a hint of concern in her voice.

"Because it's all I ever let them see."

"Seems to me you've been running from the problems you made in your own head."

I let out a sad laugh as I realized she was right. "Maybe. But it's all I've ever known."

"It's never too late to change, you know." I was ready to continue marching on my pity parade, but Dree roughly grabbed me by the shoulder, forcing me to face her yet again. When I looked into her exotic diamond eyes, I noticed they were filled with different emotions. Confusion, frustration, rejection. But also...sympathy. "So tell me, Jasper Stray, why don't you let people see how amazing you are?"

Time seemed to freeze around me.

That question... It was the exact same question that started it all.

I was staring at the future Queen of the Snow Pelt clan, but it was a different voice I heard inside my head. The voice of a wise Gamma-made-Delta-made-Luna. Sasha was the first one who somehow managed to see right through me, triggering a weird feeling of discomfort to rise inside of me, but the woman standing in front of me... I now knew she would be the one to truly break my walls down. The moment realization struck me, my head started spinning as my stomach turned.

"s**t. I can't keep doing this anymore, can I?" I ran my hand through my hair, laughing nervously. The princess eyed me with confusion, certainly thinking I had gone mad. I probably had gone mad. I took a deep breath, and the words I said next were the hardest, yet the easiest words I ever had to say. "Can I be honest with you, Dree?"

"Please! It's what I wish you would have done from the beginning."

I took her to lead her towards our room before I could change my mind. Running was easy, but it was also tiring, and I was exhausted. I couldn't avoid the truth any longer. Once we made it to the Gamma suite, I sat down on the bed while she took her place beside me. To my surprise, Andromeda was more patient than ever as she waited for me to organize my thoughts.

Damn, this was hard. I had been lying to everyone - especially to myself - for so long that I barely remembered what made me turn into such a mess. I felt like an impostor. Not knowing who I was anymore was...scary. What if I truly was what everyone thought of me?

"At least you will be you," my wolf observed. "It takes skill to pretend to be someone you're not. But to understand exactly what you are and own it... Now that's some brave s**t."

"What if she doesn't like who I truly am?" I argued, my fears taking over. "What if I don't like who I am?"

"Like she said earlier, it's never too late to change. But you will never change if you keep denying your own identity. Be brave, Jasper," he encouraged me. "Be you." Okay, I thought to myself. Just rip it off like a bandaid.

"The truth is, Andromeda, I'm scared. I'm scared of what it means to be with you. I'm scared of screwing up the one thing I was meant to have. I'm scared of what you will expect of me, because I don't know if I can meet your expectations." It took all of my courage to start talking, but once the words started falling off my lips, I couldn't stop. The whole time, I didn't dare look at her, afraid I would replace any trace of disgust or disappointment in her expression.

When she remained silent, I went on, "From the moment I was born, I was unwanted. My own mother gave me away to Alpha Dario, our previous Alpha. I was lucky he took me in when my own parents abandoned me, but growing up as a stray wasn't easy. The whole pack looked down on me because of my origins. Lance was a stray before he earned his surname, and he shared a lot of the hate with me, but it affected him in a different way. The mean comments made him work twice as hard to become someone important. I, on the other hand, decided to become the trash everyone thought I was. It was easier to live under that mask.

"All eyes were on Lance as he fought his way to the top, and I guess the attention scared me. I felt much more comfortable enduring the dirty looks. No one expected anything from me, so they were never disappointed when I failed. It sounds sad, but I was fine with that. Or at least I forced myself to believe I was." I made a brief pause. Opening old wounds was painful, and it made it hard to breathe. The rest of the story was even more hurtful, but knowing that my mate deserved to know, I pushed through the pain and went on. "Then, I came across the first female who ever showed me a little bit of attention. Before her, I had only shared a few kisses. For some reason, she wanted more. I was ready to refuse her offer, but she pushed me. She said that I was being shy because I wasn't used to getting any attention, because I was a stray and... I don't know. I kinda felt like I had to do it." I shrugged, my heart aching in my chest. Would things have been any different if I had turned the girl down? "I regretted it the next morning. I'm not sure if she was trying to take advantage of me, but what I knew for a fact was that she wanted to be special. So, I decided I wouldn't let her. That's when I started to sleep around. From then on, s*x ended up becoming kinda like an escape for me, and it fit my façade, so I kept it up. It was fun for a while, until a friend asked me the same question you just asked me."

"Sasha?" I heard Andromeda's voice for the first time since I started my monologue, and I nodded in return.

"Those words awakened something inside me, but it wasn't until you showed up that pretending finally started bothering me..." With one last deep breath, I gathered what was left of my courage and looked into her eyes. "Because, for the first time in my life, I realized I actually wanted to make something work. I wanted to make us work."

For long seconds, she just stared at me. My heart started beating faster as I feared that she would run away, but to my surprise, she didn't.

"Oh, Jasper..." She sighed, the guilt in her voice heavier than ever. "I had no idea you were so scared. I thought you were just some kind of playboy who wanted me to work for it. Goddess, if I had just listened to you..."

"It's not your fault. I never tried to tell you."

"Of course not. I never let you." It was her turn to look away as her thumb brushed the back of my hand. "I was so obsessed with becoming Queen that I ended up forgetting you might not be ready to be King. I was selfish. I thought I had the right to just push you to do what I wanted, but had I known your true reasons, I would never have come on so strong."

"I was just as selfish. You had the right to know everything, yet I kept it from you." I lowered my head. "I was a terrible mate."

Sparks of electricity startled me when her index finger touched my chin, gently forcing me to gaze at her once again. "And so was I. But a great Queen learns from her mistakes." She inched closer, her voice barely a whisper. "I'm ready to start again if you are, Jasper Stray."

f**k, the way she said my name... Even after the most stressful conversation of my life, it made me melt. When her soft lips brushed against mine, I instinctively opened my mouth, inviting her in. Instead of devouring me, she started slow. Her sharp nails grazed over my light stubble beard, making me shiver. Her tongue caressed mine, but not in a dominating way. It was more like a passionate dance.

As I got lost in the moment, I leaned in, allowing the weight of my body to gently push her down. I carefully laid on top of her as her back rested against the mattress, using my elbow for support. Little by little, I deepened our kiss. She was the first woman I had truly fully offered myself to, and after confessing my deepest secrets, I too needed all of her. I needed her taste, her scent, her touch.

Her hands traveled across my back while I traced every detail of her perfect face with my rough fingers. When we both started running out of breath, I pulled away, replaceing comfort in simply brushing my nose against hers. Her hot breath against my mouth was tranquilizing, yet exciting at the same time. We had shared many kisses, but this was our first real kiss.

Everything was perfect, until I felt her sneaky hands reach the hem of my jeans, making me stiffen.

"I'm sorry. I'm not ready yet," I confessed, not daring to look at her.

"It's okay. I don't mind waiting a little longer." Her response took me by surprise. When I felt brave enough to gaze into her eyes, I realized she was smiling sweetly. "I mean, what's another few weeks after waiting a whole eighteen years?" She chuckled, and it was the sweetest sound I had ever heard.