Passing one mug to Noelle, I keep the other in my hand and lift the blanket, slipping under.

Noelle gasps as I get comfortable beside her. And when I look over, I replace her tense as hell.

“What’s wrong?”

“N-Nothing.” It takes a couple of seconds, but she finally looks up at me.

Her cheeks are red from the cold air making her look cuter than normal.

“You sure?” I ask.

“Of course. Look,” she says gesturing to our surroundings. “What could possibly be wrong?”

It’s so peaceful out here.

I stare out at the falling snow as I get settled.

Nothing more is said between us as we enjoy the view and the company.

With my feet on the deck, I gently rock us back and forth.

Noelle’s book is closed on the blanket between us as she hugs her mug and blows across the surface of the hot coffee, sending steam floating off into the cold air around us.

I watch her, not liking the slight frown marring her brow.

“Are you sure everything is okay?” I ask, unable to stop myself.

She startles at the sound of my voice as if she isn’t even aware that I’m here. It only makes my concern grow.

“Y-Yeah,” she says, very briefly glancing over at me before her eyes focus on the tree-covered mountains once more.

“Noelle,” I sigh, regrets from last night bubbling up inside me.

I knew it was inevitable that I’d wake up alone this morning. The only time Noelle ever sleeps in is if she’s sick. But I hated not knowing if she was okay.

I wanted to wake her when I crawled into bed last night and apologize again, but I didn’t want to disturb her. She looked so peaceful.

But everything that had happened, the stupid things I said…

I don’t know what came over me. I’m usually good at keeping my feelings for her locked down. I’m not sure whether it’s the freedom of being away from normality, or the ‘jokes’ Wilder keeps making, but the words just blurted from my lips.

I told her that I once crept on her when she was topless. Fucking great friend you are.

“I’m so sorry. Last night… things got a little⁠—”

“Stop apologizing; you didn’t do anything wrong,” she says, reaching for my hand and squeezing in support. “It’s me. I⁠—”

“You’re perfect,” I say, cutting her off. “I know you had an image in your head for what this trip was going to be like, and it hasn’t turned out quite as you hoped. But it’s still going to be awesome.”

“I know,” she whispers.

Silence falls again. I get the feeling she wants to say more, but I don’t push her. She’ll open up when she’s ready.

So instead, we sit and swing gently as we drink our coffee and watch the snow fall.

I haven’t been up all that long, but the thickness of it on the ground has already doubled.

Eventually, Noelle picks up her book and twists around to get comfortable.

Our legs entwine under the blanket and she smiles softly at me before losing herself in whatever story she’s reading.

As always, jealousy rushes through me.

I’d love to be able to read as effortlessly as she does. She always looks so relaxed, like the realities of life no longer weigh down on her.

Reading will never be like that for me. It’s been hard since day one, and I know that’ll never change. It doesn’t matter what diagnosis or support I get, I’ll always have to put loads more effort in than the average person.

It used to get me down. Used to make me feel stupid and weak. But I know better than that now, and Noelle is one of the biggest reasons for it.

She’s proven to me how one struggle isn’t enough to hold you back from your dreams. She’s worked with me, supported me, tutored me. And together, we’ve made it to where we are now.

Once upon a time, I didn’t think college was going to be on the cards for me. For any of us really, but mostly me. I never believed I’d get the kind of grades that anyone would be interested in. Hell, there was a time I wasn’t even sure I’d graduate, if I’m being honest.

But here we are. Sure, it helped that Lori managed to snag herself a billionaire husband who’s eradicated any money worries we once had. But that’s only a part of the reason why we were all accepted into Trinity Royal.

It was Wilder’s choice. Some might say we were weak for following him, but then some don’t know the kind of lives we’ve lived.

Family. It means everything to us. There was no way that we were being split up across the country.

Wilder might drive me crazy, and I might not be that much of a football fan, but there was no way I was missing him playing college football. I’ve supported his career all the way from Little League. I don’t plan on stopping now.

I might not tell him often enough, but I’m so fucking proud of him.

Of Noelle, too. She might not know what path she wants her life to take right now, but whatever she decides to do, I know she’s going to kill it. It’s just the kind of person she is.

And as for me… honestly, as long as the most important people in my life are happy, then I’ll take it as a win.

Pulling my cell from my pocket, I open up my gaming app and lose myself the best way I know how.

Time passes and the snow around us gets deeper and deeper. Wilder makes himself scarce for once, and Noelle and I get to hang out exactly as we’d planned.

“Did you want more coffee?” I ask when I lose the level I’m currently on.

Noelle thinks for a moment.

“No, I’m okay. I think I might go and have a bath though,” she explains as she closes her book and throws the blanket off.

Standing up, my hoodie that she’s borrowed falls to just above her knees, leaving her legs bare.

Her skin is flawless, beautiful, and so soft. I just wish I had a reason to indulge.

“I’ll make breakfast,” I blurt as she walks toward the cabin, completely oblivious that I’m sitting here checking her out, silently praying for things I know I can’t have.

It’s been years. I should be used to it by now. I guess, in a way I am. It doesn’t stop my need for her growing, though.

She pauses and looks back, not expecting me to have followed and been so closely behind her.

“You don’t have to do that,” she says softly.

There’s a sadness on her face that makes my chest ache.

I want to give her the world, every single thing that she deserves, but I’ve no idea how.

An ice-cool breeze blows between us now we’re away from the warmth of the heaters, and I can’t help but take a step closer.

Her cheeks are rosy from the cold, making her look even cuter in my massive hoodie.

Reaching out, I cup her jaw and brush my thumb over her cheek.

My heart jumps into my throat when she leans into my touch.

“Noelle,” I breathe.

She sucks her bottom lip into her mouth, her skin turning white where her teeth sink into the soft flesh.

Time stands still as my head and heart war.

Kiss her.

Back down. She deserves better.

Kiss her.

You’ll never know how good it could be if you don’t grow a pair and try.

I lean forward, almost convinced that I could do it. That I could show my best friend just how much I really do love her. But just a beat before I get close enough to give her a clue as to where my head is at, a loud alarm blares from behind her.

She jumps a mile and my hand drops from her face.

“What the hell?” she blurts, throwing the door open and racing inside.

Smoke billows from the kitchen, and the scent of burned fuck-knows-what fills the air.

“What are you doing?” I bark when we replace Wilder standing in the middle of the disaster zone that is the kitchen.

“Cooking,” Wilder states, rolling his eyes like it’s obvious.

“I beg to differ,” I mutter, throwing the windows open in the hope of losing some smoke.

“Okay, well, I was trying.”

And right here is another reason why Wilder and I couldn’t live on opposite sides of the country. The asshole can’t cook to save his life. If it weren’t for me and Noelle, he’d live on a diet of takeout and donuts. Not the best idea for an athlete who dreams of going pro.

‘Jesus Christ,” I mutter when I get a proper look at him and replace his t-shirt covered in… “Is that tomato sauce?”

“Maybe,” he mumbles.

“Fucking hell. Just go and get changed, I’ll sort this out.”

“I am capable, you know,” Wilder scoffs.

“Are you, though?” Noelle quips from the doorway.

An irritated growl rumbles in Wilder’s throat as he turns to glare at Noelle.

He takes a step toward her, but she knows him well enough not to be scared. He might be big and intimidating, but not to someone who’s known him since he was in diapers.

She holds her head high and waits for his next move.

Although, it soon becomes clear that neither of us correctly predicts that.

He moves with the speed of a kick-ass football player as he swipes the tomato ketchup from the counter and squirts it in Noelle’s direction.

It lands on her cheek.

“You absolute—” Her curse is cut short when Wilder suddenly dives forward.

I’m frozen in place as he grabs her by the throat and pins her back against the wall.

My chin drops, although no words leave my mouth as he leans forward and slowly licks the sauce from her cheek.

All the air rushes from my lungs as if someone just took a baseball bat to my back.

“The fuck are you doing?” I whisper in utter disbelief.

I have never, ever seen him manhandle her in any way before. Okay, that’s not true. There have been times where she’s got wasted and he’s carried her home and put her to bed, but that is very, very different from what I’m currently witnessing.

He stares down at her as she remains motionless against the wall.

Her lips are parted, her eyes wide, her cheeks stained pink, and her chest is heaving.

I want to say it’s with shock. But… I know the kinds of books she reads, the kinds of things the guys do in them.

Is she… is she… enjoying this?

Suddenly, it’s as if someone hits the fast-forward button because in a flash, Noelle comes to her senses and her hands lift, pushing against Wilder’s chest as if she’s strong enough to move him.

“Get the fuck off me,” she shouts.

“Shit,” he hisses before shooting me a guilty-looking sideways glance.

My eyes narrow, trying to read what I can see dancing in his eyes, but it’s impossible.

Movement to his right catches my attention, and I look down just in time to see my best friend dart deeper into the cabin before the sound of a door slamming rips through the air.

“What the hell was that?” I demand, moving closer to my brother.

It takes him a beat longer than it usually would to shake off whatever that was, and he shrugs his shoulders. “What? Just messing around.”

I shake my head, unable to believe that was just him acting the fool.

I know Wilder. I know him better than anyone, and that was not him messing about.

It was serious. Intense.

The air between them as they stared at each other… it was charged.

Charged with something I do not want to identify.

“No.” I shake my head as my warning hangs in the air. “Not Noelle. You can have any other girl out there. Treat them as your playthings and leave them sobbing in your wake, if you must. But do not go after Noelle.”

He throws his head back and laughs, but the sound that erupts from him isn’t as light as I’d like.

“What the hell, Bro. Noelle? Your Noelle?” He tsks as he combs his fingers through his hair. “I’d never take her from you, man.” My lips purse and my teeth grind. Why don’t I believe him?

Without another word, he disappears in the direction Noelle did, leaving me standing in the middle of the mess he made that started all this, a million and one questions spinning through my mind.

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