Chapter Eighteen

I hopped in my car right after the last period, unable to remain at school any longer.

The resurfacing tension of Jason’s words haunted my every thought and kept me from paying the least bit of attention.

Even Mr. Jeff’s roaring voice didn’t break me out of the faze.

I kept seeing Jason’s disappointment and couldn’t help picturing how furious he’d be if he found out the whole truth.

How would he react if he knew Blade and I kissed?

How would he react if he knew we’d been meeting secretly?

I tried to shake the thoughts away but they just kept coming back as if attracted by an invisible magnetic force.

He really had no right to be to angry at me, though. I couldn’t help that I’ve been destined to be with Blade. If I could, I’d change it.

I’d change it all!

Jared would be my mate and mom and dad would be happy.

Jason wouldn’t hate me so much all the time and just for the sake of happiness, I’d learn to maybe possibly not hate Amanda so much.

But I couldn’t change anything. Hell, I can’t even control my feelings let alone change life!

I let my head rest on the steering while despite the risk and drove using my knee to stir.

When I reached home, my stomach began to twist. An unsettling feeling drooped over me and I walked slowly inside .

Mom was there, watching the blank TV screen while biting nervously at her nails.

She jumped up when she saw me.

“Emerald, I didn’t see you.”

“Mom, are you okay?”

“No, Emerald, I’m not. Sit down please.”

Nervous, I obeyed and took a seat.

She placed her hands on top of mine and I cringed when I saw that she had bitten her nails until the skin.

They were a blotchy pink color, some of it oozing red with blood.

“We need to talk,” she said, her green eyes bore directly into my identical ones.

“About what?”

“I think you already know.”

I stayed silent.

“Where were you last night?”

“H-home, where else,” I stuttered.

Her face turned a bright red with anger.

“Don’t!” she yelled then fought to control her angry,” Just don’t lie to me anymore. What’s going on Emerald? Talk to me.”

“Nothing.”

She shut her eyes and stood up. She paced around the room.

“First, you go into this depression faze after Jared, and you don’t talk to anybody. Then you shift with no mate and start disappearing at night, don’t think we haven’t been noticing. You slowly start to go back into depression right after we thought it was over and you start too look all pale and sick.

We replace out you’ve been attacked by a rouge and you didn’t even tell us! We had to replace out at the meeting with the enemy pack!”

“I couldn’t-”

“Stop talking! It’s my turn! You faint right after and the doctor says its from stress! You come home with bruises and and you’re so damn pale! And not once have you bothered to explain!”

“It’s complica-”

“And you rebel even more! You sneak out at night! You spend a whole night at a hospital with some mysterious friend that we don’t even know and you can’t bother to call or text! And right after I ground you, you sneak out again. And suddenly you’re not so pale anymore, and you don’t have bruises or anything! What is going on, Emerald?”

Tears began to pool out of the corner of my eyes and I realized I wanted to tell her. So badly, I wanted to be her little girl again and cry into her shoulder whenever some mean girl would pick on me or steal my lunch because nothing is as comforting as the embrace of a mother.

“I want to tell you mom, I really do-”

She dropped in front of me,” Then tell me! You know whatever it is, I’ll only help you! But I can’t help if I don’t know what’s going on!”

“It’s not something I can help mom, I can’t control it, and it can ruin everything.”

Her face twisted into horror and sadness,” is it drugs? Alcohol?”

I shook my head,” No mom, its not.”

She stared at me,” Emerald, I’m your mother. I nursed you, I fed you, I’ve been there for every little thing that happened in your life! I was there when you took your first breath of the real world! Whatever it is, you can tell me. Your dad has been going crazy out of his mind trying to figure out what’s going on.”

Her last sentence was filled with so much desperation, it killed me even more.

“Just tell me.”

But I couldn’t and for the first time, I realized just how much this was tearing me apart because it wasn’t only affecting me, but everyone around me too.

I stood up, unable to stand this sadness anymore because if I tell them, their horror would only increase even more.

So I decided on lying.

It would keep them from wondering for a while and it isn’t as bad as the truth.

“Alcohol,” I muttered through salty lips,” I’ve been addicted since Jared broke up with me.”

As I sprinted upstairs despite my wobbly knees, I heard her whisper,” We’ll get you the help you need, sweetie.”

I shut my eyes and landed face first into the pillow.

I tried to focus on my homework but I couldn’t.

Not with the sound of mom, going through every yellow pages book, searching for the best therapists widely.

I grabbed my backpack and headed downstairs.

I knew she’d be too focused to notice my absence but I left a note anyway on the fridge saying where I’d be and headed to my car.

I drove blindly for what seemed to be about half and hour before pulling up at the cafe dad had taken me to.

I grabbed my bag and made my way inside.

I sat at the furthest table, beside some teenage girl.

After ordering a coffee, I opened up my science homework and tried to study for the next test.

My mind kept swirling with images of mom’s damaged finger nails and her sad green eyes.

Jason’s disappointment and how I just lied to my mother to cover up the worse truth.

I sipped on my slightly burned coffee and tugged on a loose strand from my hair.

“Rough day?” said a voice from besides me.

Startled, I turned to see the teenage girl.

I nodded,” Yup.”

She nodded also,” same here.”

“What brought you here then?”

She shrugged, tugging her blond hair behind her ear and revealing a bit more of her beautiful face.

“It’s the only peaceful place I could think off with burned but good coffee.”

“I don’t know what you’re drinking, but this coffee sucks.”

She laughed,” You’re right, I’m Diana.”

“Emerald.”

“Like the eyes.”

“Yup.”

“So Emerald, what brought you here?”

“It’s the only white place I could think of.”

“Rough parents?”

“I wish.”

“Well, I’m here for my ex boyfriend. I drove two hours to get here, just to have him reject me.”

“Why?” I said it and wondered it. She was too pretty to be turned down. Her big grey eyes could win any guy over.

“Well, we were dating when I found my, um, I found a guy I really loved-”

“Your mate?”

“So you’re a werewolf?”

“Yup.”

“Which pack?”

“Silver reflections.”

“Ohh, anyways, I found my mate and after a while, I realized that maybe I don’t have to be with my mate. We were two different people and sure our bodies needed each other but only because of our wolves. If my wolf did separate from me, then I wouldn’t want my mate anymore. So I’m here to tell my ex that, but he said it wouldn’t work and he’s already found his mate.”

“Wow,” I muttered,” That must be hard to take in.”

She nodded,” it was. When I asked him where was she, he said that it’s complicated so I don’t want to give up.”

“Don’t, your the first person I’ve met who’s even thought about cheating destiny.”

She smiled,” I won’t give up. So what about you?”

I shrugged,” My mate is my enemy.”

She smiled sadly,” Fate is so twisted.”

“It is. And I had a fight with my mom because she’s been worried about me. I lied and said I was addicted to alcohol so she’d get off my back. Now she’s searching through every phone book looking for therapists.”

“No offense but your life sucks.”

“I know.”

We talked for two more hours before I had to leave. We wished each other good luck and headed our separate ways.

When I reached my house, I saw that dads car was inside.

They were both seated on the couch.

“I read your note honey,” said mom,” how was the studying?”

“Um, good.”

She smiled,” Good, dinner is on the table.”

I nodded and picked up a plate.

I went to sleep at ten, and right before I shut my phone, I got a text from Jared.

I suddenly was hit with the sudden memory of what Blade told me two or three days ago.

I asked him about his bruised face and he said to ask Jared.

I read his text.

“We need to talk.”

Angrily, I replied,” Yes, we do.”

“Meet me at the cherry blossom tree by the back field tomorrow at lunch.”

“Okay,” I wrote and fell asleep.

Next day at school Lisa and John were arguing.

“Guys, what’s going on, you never fight?” I asked.

“There’s this girl who keeps calling and texting him and he won’t even tell me who she is-” Lisa began but was cut off by johns angry voice.

“Because I don’t even know her!”

“You must know her enough for her to send you that text message!”

Lisa turned to me,” do you know what she told him? She was like, I love that thong that you got me, it matches your eyes!”

“I never got anybody a thong! That girl probably has the wrong number!”

“She said she loves your blond hair and blue eyes! You have blond hair and blue eyes!”

“So do about five trillion other guys!”

“Then why does she have your number!”

“I don’t know! Go ask her!”

“Tell me where she lives,” Lisa smashed her hands angrily on the hood of his car.

“I don’t know where!” John screamed.

“Lair!”

I sighed as they continued at it. I knew John would never cheat on Lisa though, that girl must have the wrong number.

First and second period past by slowly and I made my way to the place I’d told Jared I’d meet him.

I sat alone, legs criss crossed by the cherry blossom tree where we used to eat lunch together.

Why did he choose to meet here? Why this place of all places? There are too many memories here.

I used to sit between his legs and we’d lean on the tree trunk.

He used to play with my hair as I ate my lunch and sipped on my favorite drink, lemonade.

Jared finally came about ten minutes later, his hand held by none other than jasmine.

They approached slowly and I scoweled.

“Thought this would be private,” I muttered.

“It is, Jasmine is gonna go. She just wanted to-”

“To make sure I wouldn’t steal you away. Don’t worry, I don’t want him.”

Jasmine rolled her eyes,” Whatever.”

She captured Jared’s face between both her hands and kissed him long and hard on the lips.

I felt a jolt inside of me but ignored it and looked anywhere but them.

When she was done, she smiled at him seductively and purred,” See ya later.”

He smiled, revealing his deep dimples,” see ya.”

I coughed and waited for him to avert his attention back to me.

I tried hard to ignore the hurt that still conceded my being.

I guess knowing that she’s his mate will always affect me.

“So,” I muttered, forgetting completely why I was mad at him

“We need to talk.”

I nodded and looked everywhere but his chocolate eyes.

“I heard you and Lisa talking the other day. Blade Russell, is he your mate?”

My head shot up so fast, I was sure I’d broke something.

“What? When? Where?”

“So he is.”

“No, what? When did you hear this?”

His fist hit the tree above me.

“Damn it Emerald! You’re like a magnetic for danger! You get attacked my rouge and your mate is our biggest enemy! All in a span of a month or two!”

“I can’t help it! I can’t freaking help that my mate is an enemy! Why can’t anyone understand!”

“You told me you didn’t have a mate! You lied!”

“What was I supposed to say! Hey Jared, whats up? Oh, by the freaking way, my mate is our biggest enemy!”

“That would have helped!”

“Really? Because when you found out, you rushed and beat the crap out of him!”

“How do you know?” he snapped, his face angry and red.

“I asked him about his bruises, he said to ask you!”

“So you talk to him?”

“No sh*t! He’s my mate,” I threw my hands up in the air.

“You plan on being with him?”

“If I don’t want to lose my wolf, than yeah!”

“You cant love him, Em! What about me!”

I remained silent.

What the hell did that mean? He left me like dirt, don’t I deserve to do the same to him?

He sighed and sat down.

His arms came around my waist and sat me between his legs like we used to.

“I’m sorry for freaking out.”

I nodded and rested my head on his shoulder. I let myself relax and enjoy this moment while I’ve got it.

He’s the only one I felt comfortable enough with right now to rest myself upon.

I wanted nothing more than to flashback to when life was perfect.

“I missed you,” I whispered all of the sudden, despite us fighting just a second ago.

He kissed the side of my head,” I missed you too.”

“Sometimes I wish we can just go back to being us.”

He stayed silent and I wondered if he felt the same.

Finally, he answered.

“Me too. I know it’s wrong now that I have a mate, but life was just so much easier before.”

“I guess fate couldn’t let us be happy any longer.”

“I’m happy, Em. I really am, I love jasmine. Its hard because I love you too.”

“You love me, but you’re IN love with Jasmine.”

He signed,” I don’t know anything anymore.”

“I dont know what to do Jared. Mom thinks I’m addicted to alcohol because I told her so she would stop asking about whats going on. Jason hates me because he thinks I’m gonna betray the pack and I don’t want to love Blade but I keep feeling things for him.”

“You know what Em, I’m not gonna yell at you like I was doing a second ago, but you have to follow your heart. Don’t let other people influence your actions. If you want to be with Blade, than so be it.”

“Either way, both decisions are so hard.”

“That’s life, but time will tell, Em. Don’t hurt yourself over this.”

I nodded and rested my eyes,” Can we be friends now? I want you in my life from now on, please.”

I felt him smiling against the back of my head.

“I love you.”

“I love you too.”

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