Our Future
Chapter 3: Mothers and Prediction of Death

“You tell me who you are, right now!” my father yells pulling a colt .45 revolver out and pointing it alongside Gabriel’s .44.

Gabriel lowers his .44 at this point. He looks unsure and doesn’t want to be responsible for her death if she really is his mother.

“My mother had a tattoo. Show me the tattoo!” says Gabriel loudly a bit hysterical.

The woman switches hands with the gun and pulls up the sleeve on her left arm to reveal a cross with a rose wrapped around it. I remember the tattoo Gabriel speaks of, too. Her tattoo is an exact match.

My father freezes and stares at the tattoo for five long seconds.

“It can’t be them! They’re dead, dead I tell you! Dead! It can’t be them,” he says falling to his knees. His colt hits the ground with a clang.

“We’ll bring them inside but until we know for sure we don’t let them near the classrooms,” I say in a whisper too quiet for them to hear to Gabriel.

“You can tell the future,” whispers the hazelnut woman.

I turn scared.

“Gabriel, you can read minds,” comments the copper-haired woman.

Shock blossoms in Gabriel’s irises.

“Nobody knows that.” Gabriel says in disbelief.

“What are they talking about? They’re crazy,” says my father.

“They didn’t tell him,” I comment to Gabriel.

“Paul knows. I told him,” whispers the copper-haired woman still holding the .22 at Gabriel but her hand is shaking and she can’t keep it steady.

“If that’s not proof, I don’t know what is,” whispers Gabriel.

“But Paul buried her! It can’t be. How can it be if he buried her?” screams my father hitting the cement with his now bloody fist.

“Landon, stop. You’re hurting yourself,” whispers the hazelnut woman.

He stops and I watch as the sidewalk becomes stained with teardrops.

“Shut up. You don’t know me. You’re not Jamie,” he says in a high pitched whisper still crying.

I hadn’t seen the man fall apart like that since Sam was born. He probably cried after Mom “died” like I did after Melody and Quinn died but I wouldn’t know because he wasn’t around.

“Go inside. We’ll handle this,” I say patting him on the back.

He slowly gets up but doesn’t look at us. He pries back the door and silently goes in.

“Nathaniel, you have to believe us,” she says panicky.

I hold my finger up to my mouth and they both go quiet.

The copper-haired woman puts the .22 away and helps the hazelnut woman up.

I pry the door away from the frame and Gabriel goes in first, then the women and last, me. We step away from them as they settle down on a bench.

“You stay here, I’ll go get Cassie so she can check the dark-haired one out,” I whisper.

“Who do you think is lying?” whispers Gabriel.

“I don’t know. But we should keep Anna and Sam away from them until we know,” I reply quietly.

“Right,” says Gabriel.

I can see the copper-haired woman watching us and her eyes look like she just wants to break something or punch somebody.

“Be careful,” I say walking away slowly.

I enter the hall that leads past the cafe and to the classrooms. I peek into the first classroom on the right. I only saw Paul, Gabriel’s dad. Cassie must have sent Anna and Sam to bed.

I replace Cassie with Arran and Emily.

I knock and then come in and close the door.

“You know the people we brought in this morning. Be careful. We don’t know if they are who they say they are,” I say quietly.

“And how do you know that?” asks Cassie in a defensive voice.

“Because they said our mothers were dead and two women claiming to be our mothers just appeared. The one claiming to be my mother needs medical attention. Right now, I think the men are fakes because the one claiming to be my mother told me and Gabriel something we’ve never told anyone else. But there’s a way to test if Gabriel’s father is who he says he is. I want you to go tend to the woman well I ask him something. Make sure Gabriel stays with you, I don’t know how happy he’ll be about the question I ask,” I say quietly but quickly.

Cassie nods in understanding.

“I’ll be back, Emily,” says Cassie with a small wave.

I open the door and hold it for Cassie. I don’t know whether Emily was listening to what I said. I really wish me; Emily and Gabriel could be on good terms but who knows if she’ll ever forgive us. Just as I go to leave I feel something hit me in the back. I look back and see Emily, she’s hugging me.

“I’m sorry. I forgive you and Gabriel. You were both right. I should get over him, and I am thanks to Arran,” she says quietly.

I can see Arran is jealous but he blushes when she mentions him. ‘She’s all yours’ I mouth and smile and Arran laughs. It’s the first time I’ve heard him laugh in a long time.

She lets me go and I don’t turn around cause I know she’ll hit me if I do. This is embarrassing for her. I quietly walk down the hall. I wonder where the man who claimed to be my father went. I haven’t seen him since I entered the school.

I slowly approach the room where Gabriel’s Dad is.

“Paul,” I call as I enter the room. He jumps a bit.

“Oh, hey, Nathan. What is it?” he says sitting up.

“Does your family, particularly your wife have a secret?” I say trying to make it sound normal.

My head starts pounding and I see flashes. I lean against the door frame for support. I see Paul looking confused and yelling. He says I’m crazy and that I should stay away from his son. He doesn’t know. He’s not the real Paul.

“What are you getting at?” he asks.

“Never mind, bye,” I say and exit the room quickly.

I go back to the entrance of the school. That was scary. If they’re not our fathers, who are they? And how do they know us?

I enter the front office where my mother is sitting with Gabriel’s mother and Gabriel.

“The men are lying,” I whisper.

“How do you know?” Gabriel asks.

“She said Paul knew and I had a vison that if I asked him about it that he’d say I was crazy and tell me to stay away from you,” I reply.

Gabriel looked devastated. He always had liked his father more than his mother. I don’t know if it was a bond or trust thing.

“He could still be alive,” whispers Grace, Gabriel’s mother.

“We should replace Landon before he does something to harm any of us,” I say calmly patting Gabriel on the shoulder.

We run into Rider outside of the office.

“Rider, we need you to go to Room 101 and guard the man in the room. Don’t let anybody in and don’t let him out. If a man who claims to be a friend or says his name is Landon appears sent somebody to replace us. Watch your back these people could be dangerous,” says Gabriel quickly and Rider takes off running for the room, no questions asked.

We start combing the classrooms for Landon but we don’t see him. We even check all the upstairs doors to make sure they’re locked and they all are. Last we climb the ladders to the roof. That’s where we replace him. His expression looks grim and dark. He looks like he regrets something. We approach him slowly.

“Landon,” says Gabriel threateningly.

He slightly turns his head and I can see his cheeks are tear-stained.

“It was Paul’s idea. He told me who I was and I believed him. I’d forgotten who I was for some reason. I didn’t mean to hurt you or your friend, I really did believe what Paul said but I’m not so sure anymore, I’m sorry,” he says staring down at his hands that have balled into fists out of anger for himself or Paul.

Gabriel’s expression has changed from on-guard and angry to sympathetic. Paul is the master mind in this. Landon had no idea that he was being lied to and tricked.

“We forgive you, calm down,” I say sitting beside him.

“Is what your mother said true? Can you really tell the future? Can he really read minds?” he asks nervously looking at us with wondrous eyes.

“Yeah, it is,” I reply quietly.

“That’s cool,” he says smiling slightly.

“Did Paul say anything else about how he knew our families that seemed odd?” asks Gabriel cautiously as if the man might break down again.

“I don’t think so,” he replies, calmly.

“We should wait till he’s healed and then kick him out for everyone else’s safety,” says Gabriel.

“Are you going to kick me out, too? I’ll understand if you-” Landon speaks quickly stumbling over his words.

“No, you don’t seem to be a danger. You were mistaken and confused. You couldn’t help it,” says Gabriel in a rush to make sure what he just said is understood properly.

“We should go check on Rider,” I comment.

“And explain the situation to Cassie if she hasn’t already had a fit with Rider about entering the room,” replies Gabriel.

“Are you tired? We could show you to a place where you can sleep,” I say trying to comfort him.

His tear-streaks are gone now and he just nods and follows us through the vents to the dark, unoccupied classroom and back through the hall to Room 107 where Michael, Farren, Hayden and Rider sleep. Connor might join them soon if Rider lets him become part of the adventurers who go outside and if he wants to.

Occasionally I and Gabriel sleep here, too. When were sick of the younger kids or want some company instead of a dark box cave with just the two of us. Dani, Hale, Emily, Skylar, Kate, and some other girls sleep in Room 106 across the hall.

We knock on the door and Hayden answers. He looks past me and Gabriel to Landon.

“New one?” he asks.

“Yeah, this is Landon. Just don’t ask any questions. He has trouble remembering things from before we found him,” I say quietly hoping I don’t offend Landon.

“Right,” Hayden says nodding.

We leave Landon with them and walk back down the hall to Room 101. Rider and Cassie are fighting in the doorway.

“Let me in, I need to check on him,” says Cassie annoyed.

“Cassie, he could be dangerous. It’s for your own safety,” replies Rider.

“Dangerous? He’s an injured man. What harm could he be to anyone? And he’s Gabriel’s father. Who told you this?” asks Cassie in disbelief.

“Nathan and Gabriel. They’re coming right now. If you don’t believe me ask them yourself,” he says pointing toward us.

“Boys, what is the meaning of this?” she asks.

I think it’s funny when she tries to act older than us when in actuality she’s a year younger than us.

“He’s not my father. They said our mothers are dead and we found them alive. Landon was brainwashed into believing he was Nathan’s father by that man, so who knows what else he is capable of,” says Gabriel in an annoyed tone.

“Well maybe he’s confused, too. You’re not going to kick him out right now, are you? He’s injured, even if he did impersonate your family that’s mean,” she says trying to replace a reason that seems logical other than the truth that seems likely.

“No, but once he’s good to go, he’s out of here, Cassie,” I say clearly. “How long do you think it’ll take for him to heal?”

“A few days,” she says quietly.

“Okay, Rider watch him in shifts. Switch out with anybody but Landon so he doesn’t have a chance to conspire with someone who could be turned against us,” says Gabriel making it clear.

“Right,” Rider replies.

“Cassie, if you have to check up on him make sure the person guarding him is aware and that they’re watching you,” I comment.

“Sure,” she says.

Rider let’s her pass and the three of us now stand in the doorway.

“I wish I was lucky enough to replace my mother. Connor really misses both of them,” Rider says quietly.

“That reminds me. Do you know which room Cassie put our mothers in?” Gabriel asks calmly.

“I think their down in 106 but I can’t say for sure,” replies Rider.

“Right, thanks,” I say.

After that we leave we go back to the box cave. It’s late and we’re both tired but I know neither of us will be sleeping any time soon. We have too much on our minds. Like how we’re going to break the news to my mother that I’m gay and like Gabriel. I can tell Gabriel’s worried about it, too. Gabriel’s mother accepted that he was gay three years ago. In fact she had said she expected it, she was just patiently waiting for Gabriel to confirm her suspicions. He was happy that she accepted him and at the time me and Melody were happy he was at least somewhat accepted in his family.

Anna was left out of the picture though. She still thought her brother was normal, thought he liked girls and what not. At the time I guess she was too young to understand but that’s stupid. Just because you have a limited vocabulary and don’t know too much about the world, don’t know what is “considered” normal and what is “considered” weird doesn’t mean you should be lied to. She deserved the truth as much as the next person. That was like neglecting to tell an adult one of their loved ones is dead. They believe they’ll see the person again when in actuality they won’t.

The silence was deafening and annoying. I hated silence. It always made me feel like I was alone and locked in a cell that I couldn’t escape from. It made me feel cut off from the world and uninformed.

Gabriel was starring off into space; his irises seemed lost in whatever he was thinking about. If he heard any thoughts he was probably confusing them with his own. He was probably thinking about all the reasons why Paul would lie to Landon and where his real father was. We hadn’t bothered to ask Grace and my mother where they were. Obviously they weren’t dead because they too would have freaked out upon seeing the impersonators. But my mother had actually confused the impersonator with my real father like they were twins or copies.

I considered that my father had a twin he didn’t know about and I considered the same with Gabriel but it seemed unlikely that both of our fathers would be unaware of their sibling.

I was beginning to worry Gabriel would over think this and do something irrational. He was never this quiet even when something was bothering him. He usually talked to me about it or before they had their fight he’d talk to Emily. Or he’d talk to Quinn before she died and Arran before he got depressed. If he was trying to keep me from having problems that weren’t my own it was pointless because my father too was impersonated and missing as far as I knew.

One thing about Gabriel was his emotions could change drastically in a very quick manor. He could be angry one minute, and then calm the next. Laughing one second and crying the next. It was hard to predict how he felt right now. Even after being his friend for more than a decade I couldn’t predict his actions or emotions. I was expecting him to get fed up with his thought process eventually but he just sat there, thinking as if it were normal. But it made me paranoid. I was worried about what he was thinking and what course of action those thoughts could lead to.

It was like he’d completely blocked the world of reality out and was only living and experiencing the world of thought. Like the voices had consumed all his sanity and the result was his silence.

The last time Gabriel had been like this was after Emily left our quartet. He was silent for about a day as if he was honoring her memory. It made me and Melody worry but eventually he went back to himself and the problem was resolved.

I was worried at this point that he was going to seal himself off from the world and become like Arran. Except for the fact that Arran was getting better now thanks to Emily. I wanted to do something but I didn’t know what I could do.

Gabriel wasn’t even paying attention to the fact that I had been staring at him for the last half an hour. That’s how oblivious and lost in thought he was.

We were sitting on opposite sides of the box cave so I slowly moved closer till I was right beside him and even then he didn’t acknowledge me.

I wanted to poke him to make sure he wasn’t dead but I was afraid he’d get annoyed and leave and I didn’t want to be alone.

The silence went for another hour before I finally decided to lay my head gently on his shoulder hoping he’d at least say something. But he just slightly turned his head accepted my gesture and then went back to whatever he was thinking about.

I guess I was grateful to have broken his spell for a few mere seconds but he still hadn’t said a word.

It was like there was something stopping him from speaking. It was like he’d lost his voice.

By now it was probably midnight. He yawned and looked down at me. I was pretending to sleep only peering through tiny slits in my eye lids. He lifted me gently off his shoulder and placed my head down on the pillow. He lay down beside me. We were facing each other. He looked worried and troubled as if he was trying to make a hard decision.

I wondered in that instant if he could tell if I was awake. I was really tired and he looked tired. His eyes were bloodshot. Finally he kissed me on the forehead and rolled over to finally go to sleep. I smiled and did the same but the dream that pulled me down had me regretting it.

I saw Gabriel holding his .44 to his head he was crying blood and he had blood spatter all over him. I see myself pulling the gun away from his head but he fights my hand for control until he finally accidentally drops the weapon. I know I’m saying something to him but I can’t hear what. Whatever it is he yells at me in return and I argue with him for a good long time before he finally gets up and limbs away. There’s a gunshot wound in his leg that is not limping. I call after him but he keeps walking. Leaving a trail of blood in my wake. I stumble after him and when I replace him again, I replace him dead, gunshot to the head but it wasn’t his own doing. I don’t know how I know just that I do. I kneel at his side and start crying. The tears come out like and endless river that’s source is the ocean. Then the surroundings change so that I’m standing in front of his grave. His grave stone is a simple plack with his image, name, date of birth and date of death. The date of death reads November 21st, 2105 that was two and half years away more or less. That made me start to wonder if this one of my visions. I’d never had one well I was asleep or if I started to I was usually fully awake by the time it started because of the pains and headache I normally got from it.

I soon realized I was holding a bouquet of flowers and wearing a plain black and white tux. The flowers were like wild flowers you replace in random fields. Orange tiger lilies and yellow sun flowers, some yellow marigolds and some pink roses. I turned and there was my family, Gabriel’s family, Emily, Arran, and many of the other students who’d taken up shelter in the school. They were all crying in each other’s shoulders or just gravely starring at Gabriel’s grave.

Nobody was saying anything. We were all silent as if we were standing vigil for a dead soldier. Of course the vigil didn’t last all night like normal. People started to fade away. Emily and Arran were among the first to disappear. Finally only Gabriel’s parents, Anna, Sam and my parents were left. But eventually their figures faded, too. His mother being the last to vanish. The grave faded away. And my head started going through all the early memories I had of Gabriel.

Before we met Emily and Melody at the age of eight. Of how we dumped giant buckets of freezing water on each other in the summer and how we stuffed snow in each other’s face as revenge for pushing each other into snowbanks in the winter. How we watched the leaves fall in autumn and then raked them up only to jump into the pile and throw them up and make our lawns covered in orange, yellow and red quilts again. And finally of how we’d watch as the melting snow made small rivers in the gutters on the side of the roads in spring. I hadn’t thought about those days in a long time. It made me suspect what I was seeing was a dream again but somehow I found it odd and it saddened me.

That was where the dream ended. I snapped awake, covered in sweat and breathing hard. It toke me a few seconds before I realized Gabriel was nowhere to be seen. It made me panic. I was up within a split second and outside the cave within another. But he wasn’t anywhere in the room and I quickly exited to the hall. The hall was empty. It was probably three or four in the morning so that made sense. I searched the classrooms with open doors like Arran’s. But he wasn’t in any of them. Hayden had switched out with Rider to watch Paul and he was watching me pace the hall.

“Where’s the fire?” he asks but his tone sounds concerned.

“There ain’t any fire. I can’t replace Gabriel, “I say annoyed.

“That’s not usual. But usually when we can’t replace him we can’t replace you either,” he says joking a bit but I can tell he’s worried and only being sarcastic.

I leave Hayden, his jokes and bad sarcasm to go search the second floor and roof which are also not witnesses to Gabriel’s whereabouts.

Where could he have gone? And why? I was beginning to think the dream was vision again. I tried to remember the scenery around us well he was holding the gun to his head but all I see is white. I race inside hoping to get a search party in order to replace him.

I knock on both rooms 106′s and 107′s doors. Explain the situation and most are glad to help. Many more than those who would risk going outside for food and supplies every week. Michael takes charge and pairs everybody up. I get stuck with Farren. I’m still worried about what Gabriel said about his thoughts and the fact that he imagined shooting Emily. I glance at her worried and she looks back just as worried but I know it is worry for Gabriel and not herself. Michael sent two pairs upstairs, two pairs to gym and surrounding area and gets another two to comb the rest of the first floor. When he’s done he’s left with me, Farren, Hale, Dani, Emily, Landon, Jess, Rider, and himself. Jess was few years older than most of us but younger than the thirty-five-year-old looking Landon. He was kind of a loner but the girls, well aside from the three here, fell all over him. The girls often said if they couldn’t have me or Gabriel that he’d be their next choice. I just rolled my eyes every time they even mentioned liking one of us. You’d think they’d worry more about their lives then who they liked and who likes them back. Their priorities were way out of whack.

He led us to the rotunda and split us up again and made groups of three. I still got stuck with Farren but Emily was in my group, too. Farren was staring at her grimly. Michael put himself in a group with Rider and Dani. And Hale, Jess, and Landon were stuck together. Landon glanced at me worried but I didn’t know if he was worried about Gabriel or venturing outside again.

He told Hale’s group to go west, mine south and his own north.

As we get into the neighborhood behind the school I instantly see something that worries me. A blood trail and it looks relatively new. Emily looks at me with the same worried irises but Farren bluntly walks right past it as if he didn’t even see it. I and Emily follow the blood trail, Farren is ahead of us but he’s just walking, as if it’s a nice day for a stroll. No day was good for a stroll anymore.

The blood trail leads down the street, around the corner and down a dark alley. Now the whole neighborhood is dark but this alley is really dark. I hear what sounds like a zombie or two. Farren moves in without warning us and we follow him quickly out of worry. But soon the two zombies are dead and he has the same look in his eyes as when he was holding Emily at gun point it spooks us both. We shine our flash lights around to see where the blood trail goes and we follow it deeper into the alley where it breaks off into two. The first path leads back out to the street and the second leads to a row of bottom level apartments and motel rooms. The blood trail leads to an ajar motel room door. Inside I see Gabriel leaning against a wall holding his arm.

“Gabriel,” I say relieved.

He looks up as I approach.

“Look out,” he says pushing me out of the way. A bullet barely misses both of us. Farren has his browning pistol out and pointed in our direction. Emily is a few steps from Farren and just has a look of shock on her face.

“Put the gun down,” I say pulling out my .44.

“No,” is all he says.

“Drop it or I’ll shot to kill,” I reply.

“You won’t do that, Nathan. You’re not that kind of person-” he says it sarcastically and is smiling.

I fire and my bullet hits him in the abdomen. It shocks him and his hand reaches to apply pressure. He drops to the ground quickly though, I must have hit an artery.

“He was the one who dragged me out here saying he heard screaming and shot me,” says Gabriel grunting at the pain in his lower arm. Cassie will have fun patching him up when we get back.

I look back at Farren solemnly. Why did he shoot Gabriel and try and shoot me? Did it have something to do with the look he got in his eyes every time he held a gun? Did he like violence and hurting people? I may have gone to school with Farren but I actually knew very little about him. He was the lonely, shy, odd kid. He barely talked to anyone accept when he was arguing a point. Most girls said he was scary and now I couldn’t blame them for having good sense.

I helped Gabriel slowly and handed Emily my gun.

“You have to cover us. Shot anything that doesn’t speak,” I say grimly.

She takes the gun in full stride as if it’s natural which is kind of scary but when you live in a world where zombies could eat you at any second or people like Farren sneak around in the shadows you have to come up with a way of defending yourself and this would be ours.

We pass back through the dark alley and streets and start signaling from the first level roof of the school that we’ve found him.

Hale’s group is the first to reappear.

“Where’s Farren?” she asks.

Emily hesitates.

“He shot Gabriel and tried to shot me. I shot him and I assume he’s dead by now,” I say quietly.

She just stares at me with the same shocked look Emily gave me after Farren fired at me.

Landon looks scared but I don’t know if he fears me, Gabriel’s well-being or Farren.

Michael’s group appears a few minutes later. Michael asks where Farren is, too. Hale whispers something to him and he just nods grimly.

I feel alienated. Different. People understood why I shot Melody. It was out of mercy. But Farren, it was revenge and protection in my mind but I don’t know about anybody else’s.

“Don’t worry about it. Any of them would have done the same,” he whispers quietly as I help him towards the door. It’s my turn now to answer with silence.

“You really worried me. I had a dream that you died and we all went to your funeral. I saw your grave. It said when you died and everything. And I woke up you were gone. Why didn’t you wake me?” I say annoyed with him for risking his own life and safety without me.

“At the time I woke up I was planning on coming back in few minutes. I was just checking on Landon, Hayden, and Anna. But Farren got to me first, he said he heard screaming outside the back door and before I could get anybody he ran off and I followed. I’m sorry, Nathan,” he whispers it all well were waiting for the others to reach the door.

Cassie wasn’t going to be happy that we disturbed her sleep. But then again, somebody might of already woken her up because word of Gabriel’s disappearance spread fast.

Unluckily, nobody had thought to wake Cassie. We stumbled into the front office and it was still dark in the nurse’s side office where she slept.

There was a blood trail from the front door to the couch in the office. I shook Cassie awake at this point, not caring what complaint she’d make. I was starting to worry about Gabriel’s condition; he’d lost a lot of blood by the looks of things.

“What in the world happen to you?” is all she says when she sees a blood covered Gabriel on the office couch.

“Gunshot,” he says holding up his arm while the other is applying pressure with his blood stained sweater.

“Oh, my god. You should have said something earlier. Who in the world shot you and why?” she asks in a panic racing back into her office to get her medical equipment.

“Farren did, and I shot him and he died before we could ask so we don’t really know why,” I reply quietly.

Cassie sets Gabriel’s arm on a side table and cleans his wound. She cuts on either sides of the bullet hole, pulls the shiny gold thing out of his wrist, cleans his wound again and then stitches him back together. After she sets him up in the principal’s old office. The name on the door is so faded you can barely read it and I no longer remember the name that was once printed there either.

I stay with Gabriel, worried but Cassie somehow amazingly goes back to sleep. I can feel someone watching from a distance. I know it’s Emily. As much as she said she was over Gabriel, I know she’ll be worried till the bandage comes off and he has full mobility of his left hand back.

Gabriel was awake for the next few hours. I don’t know if it was the pain or if he was still thinking about why Farren had done it. When he finally seemed to drift off I was glad. He needed the sleep after all that had happened.

I hold his hand tightly regretting not staying awake to watch over him.

Emily enters cautiously as if I might snap and explode at any minute.

“Who else knows aside from me?” she asks.

“Nobody,” I reply quietly.

“You didn’t tell your mothers?” she asks.

“Gabriel’s mother knows he’s gay she had to know it was just a matter of time before he got a boyfriend. But she’ll probably be surprised to know it’s me because she thinks I’m straight like you once did,” I say getting up to look out the window.

“Why do you think Farren did it?” she then asks changing the subject.

I grit my teeth.

“I don’t know,” I reply.

“It’s not your fault, you know,” she says gently.

“Of course it is. He’s my lover and I should have protected him. You probably would have, wouldn’t you have?” I say annoyed.

“You were asleep. How were you supposed to know? You can’t stay awake 24/7 and watch him, you’ll kill yourself that way and then neither of us will be happy. You make his day. Don’t throw it away because you weren’t able to do something one time. He’ll forgive you and in the end you saved him and me so you kind of did protect him,” she says it yelling at first but her tone eventually mellows out.

I knew she was trying to cheer me up but Gabriel could have been killed. I loved him and I didn’t want to lose him. Of course I’d live on if he did die because he’d want me to.

I think back to that dream and the date. Two and a half years. Was it a dream or one of my visions? Did he really only have two a half more years to live? When I thought about the date more I realized he’d die six days after his 21st birthday.

“Nathan?” she says quietly.

“Just leave me alone,” I say leaning on the window ledge. I grit my teeth again. Annoyed.

She leaves and I settle down again.

I listen to Gabriel’s steady breathing and again the silence annoys me. I take his hand and lay my head down on his bedside.

“I love you,” I whisper quietly and I feel a tear escape my eyes as I fall sleep. This one is peaceful, oddly.