Ours
Chapter Twenty-seven: Trying

Jenny POV

So my plan to try and shift hasn't been going great this far, I searched the internet for things thatmight help.

I've read online that if you get beaten and needed your wolf to protect you then you'll shift. It's notgonna work with me since I got beaten more than once and almost died twice and still didn't shift.So plan B it is, I've read that being in shape helps I can hardly move and Stefan will kill me if I gorunning or do the heavy lifting and tear something in my internal organs. So that's another no, I'veread about some kind of demonic seance with a five-point star a wolf heart, and a bloody moon,heck no.

An article caught my eye saying "You are what YOU believe you are”. So if I want to be a wolf Ishould believe I am one and act like it.

I stand in front of my mirror and pretend my hands are claws, I even try roaring and growling as if Ihad big canine teeth. After a few minutes and feel like an idiot I give up, I'm a mouse pretending tobe a wolf.1

I keep on reading articles, I even try weird herbs combination. Some made me sick, others didn't doanything for me. Every day when holden wasn't there with me I would sit down and search theinternet, later I'll try whatever new plan I came up with.

One herb combination which by the way tasted like shit made me super sick, I spent most of thenight vomiting and I had a high fever.

Stefan had to come and check on me, he had Nala with him, she probably came to check on me andact as his helper. After he checked me up he said that I look like I'm poisoned

Holden looked at me strangely asking how and what could have poisoned me, I looked at Nala withpleading eyes and she came to the rescue.

"Daddy we ate at the school cafeteria today, the food tasted funny maybe she got sick from it *~nala

I nod my head agreeing with her lie.

"And you ate from the same food? And you feel fine?" stefans asks as he touch Nala foreheadmaking sure she doesn't have any fever

"I was hungry and I'm wolf so I probably burned through it, but poor jenny she couldn't handle it,"~nala says shrugging as if it was nothing.

"Jace will be packing you lunch from now on," Stefan says I doubt he bought our excuse but let itslide.

I got an IV and a few shots which I didn't like but had to take, holden spent the whole night holdingmy hand and putting a cold compress on my forehead. It was a long night and I decided to stoptrying weird herbs, I felt like I've been through hell the whole night with my body burning insideout.

Nala tried to ask me about what made me sick and I told her I don't wanna talk about it, sherespected my request and let it go.

I kept searching and googling for about a full month. I'm free to start moving around again withoutthe threat of tearing my own internals.

Today,Nala is busy with her mates and holden got work to do in the garage so I'm free and alone.I'm walking through the pack territory, I've read that hiking and getting close to nature can help. Istumble upon a lake, I didn't know we had a lake around, seeing the water and tall trees all aroundit gave me a new idea.

I climb up to one of the trees, I go to the top and look down. Bad idea bad idea. So the plan is tojump toward the water, the adrenalin should be enough to make me shift. I take one deep breathand then another and get ready to jump. It's now or never. And I let go and jump.

What I didn't think about is the water being this deep, I can swim but not that well, and right nowI'm drowning. I try to kick my self up but I can't the surface look too far away, that until a strong armis around my torso and drag me up. Once we're out of the water I look at my rescuer to say thankyou but I'm met with an angry Ryland. Ow ow, I'm in trouble.

Ryland POV.

I just saw Jennifer jump from the top of a tree!!! I knew it's her since she's the only one with red hairaround the pack. I don't know if she's doing it for fun or it's a try to suicide. Either way, her ass ismine.

When she doesn't surface from under the water I know something is wrong and I jump after her, thewater is deep, deeper than it looks, she probably thought she could swim back up and failed. I tookhold of her and drag her to the edge of the water.

She looks at me with fear in her eyes. Good.

"Why did you jump,” I ask with my no-nonsense voice.

"li." she stutters.

"I asked you a question why did you jump were you trying to suicide,” I say angry and she shakesher head no " was it for fucking fun" I yell at her and she just pales.

I take hold of her arm and drag her over my lap face down, I'm beta of this pack and she just putherself in danger, I got every right to punish her.

Smack smack smack.

I spank her ass while talking " why did you jump”

No answer another three hard smacks.

"Was it for fun puppy? What were you trying to do "I ask and smack her again and again.

She's fully on sobbing and crying, she knows I'm not gonna stop till she tells me why she did it.

"I'm trying to shift” she screams at me and continues her loud sobbing, I stop spanking her and takeher in my arms. I hug her till she calms down, we're gonna have one mother of a talk.

"Jennifer, you were trying to shift? By jumping from a fucking tree?" I say between my gritted teeth."I read... read online....that adrenaline can make you shift" she says and sniffles.

"And if you do shift while jumping or after you hit the water didn't you think that you'll be too busyshifting to swim to shore?" I ask, I'm furious with her she could've got seriously hurt.

She starts crying again " I'm sorry....sorry...please don't tell anyone”

I hug her again when she calms down I make her look me in the eyes.

"You wanna try and shift" I say and she nods " there are ways to help you shift it's not jumping froma tree, it's slow and will take time" she nods again

"You need to promise me never to try anything like this agin” i say and again she nods.

"I need words puppy" i scold her.

"Yes i promise” ~jenny

"Good let's get you home and dry , tomorrow we'll start our practice at sunrise” i say and she lookat me with wide eyes, she got a long road in front of her.