Out of Control
Chapter 15

Libby had never felt such freedom before, sitting snug behind Logan, her arms wrapped tight around his middle and her breasts crushed against his back. He’d insisted she wear his helmet, but it didn’t keep her from getting close to him. Every movement he made, every turn of the powerful bike, she felt his body tighten with reaction and control. When they made the turn off the main road onto County Road 545, he was able to pick up speed. And suddenly they were flying against the wind and into the darkness, with nothing to stop them. There weren’t any lights, and not much traffic. Libby had been on the country road and had a feeling she knew where Logan was taking them.

But wherever they ended up, she knew it would be someplace where they could be alone together, where they could make love. Anticipation licked at her senses, keeping her b***d hot, and her panties wet. She couldn’t help it. Logan was a powerful lover, and having his tight buttocks flush against the apex of her spread thighs was a powerful turn-on. She was extremely sensitive down there, and the vibration of the bike beneath her only aided in keeping her highly stimulated.

Who was she kidding? Anytime Logan was near her senses went into overdrive. How was she ever going to say goodbye to him? Unwilling thoughts about him leaving for California weaved through her mind. How was she going to go on without him? The answer came to her almost immediately. She was going to put on a brave face and pretend it didn’t matter, that’s how. She was thankful she wasn’t going to be around that weekend. The hot sting of tears filled her eyes. Loving him came easy, he had so many of the traits she wanted in a man.

Losing him was going to be the hardest thing she’d ever had to face.

She wasn’t going to cry. She wasn’t! She chomped down on her quivering bottom l*p. Did he feel anything more than just l**t for her? She wanted to believe that he did. The sign for Jansen Park came into view. It didn’t surprise Libby when Logan slowed his motorcycle down and turned into the entrance. It was closed, but he had no problem going around the chain across the road. He continued down the road, past the small guard’s shack that hadn’t been used for as long as she could remember, the public bathrooms, and a concession stand where hotdogs and hamburgers were sold during special events.

They didn’t go very far once they passed the groundskeeper’s small, dark house. Logan steered his bike off the trail and up a small hill, coming to a halt at the top. It was dark, but the sky was clear and the moon was big and bright, offering them just enough light to be able to see each other.

Libby saw the glistening of black water in the distance, realizing they were near a lake. Then she was aware of stark silence when Logan shut down his bike and pushed the kickstand down. For a moment they just sat there, taking in their surroundings. The sounds of nature gradually became audible. Libby relaxed her hands, letting her palms slide down Logan’s thighs toward his knees, smiling when she felt the steel muscles flex beneath her caress. Feeling naughty, she let her hands inch back up until her finger tips were able to brush against his zipper, which was straining beneath the full-blown hard-on he had. He sucked in his breath.

“Damn, that feels good,” he said hoarsely.

Libby released a little laugh. She leaned forward and tugged on his ear with her teeth, caressing him harder. “I’m so hot I’m burning up inside. I want you, Logan.”

She gasped with surprise when Logan made a sudden move, releasing a noise that revealed his hunger. His growl sounded like a night creature on the prowl for something to eat.

Only she knew what he was hungry for. He turned around on the seat, and the next thing Libby knew he was removing her helmet and tossing it to the ground. Before she could catch her breath his fingers threaded through her hair and he pulled her to him, snapping her head back with a hard k**s. The pressure forced Libby into opening her mouth, and Logan took advantage by slipping his tongue inside.

They m****d simultaneously. Libby’s hands went to his shoulders; his left her hair and glided down her body to her bare thighs. The only way she’d been able to mount the bike wearing a miniskirt was by pulling it up, so she was completely exposed from the waist down. And the only thing keeping her from being indecent was the triangle covering her mound.

Logan’s hands tickled her with delicious pleasure, smoothing along her flesh until his fingers reached the silk between her legs.

Libby felt a light flick of his finger across her weeping mound and nearly lost it, arching hungrily and crying out with passion beneath his mouth. His k**s turned savage at her response. Their tongues battled, hearts pounded as one. Then Logan’s mouth left hers to trail liquid fire along her jaw, up to her ear, and behind, then down the curve of her neck. The whole time his finger flicked over the sensitive bud pulsing between her thighs. A ripple of pleasure traveled down Libby’s spine, and she gasped. Her panties became soaked.

“Logan!” She was close to climaxing. She began to move her h**s into his caresses with one thought on her mind, she wanted, needed to experience the sweet rush of release. “Oh, God!” She leaned forward, and raked her teeth along the thick muscles in his neck, encouraging him to continue.

“Close…”

“Hold on, baby.” Logan removed his hand and dismounted. Libby wanted to scream.

What is he doing? Before she could question him he pulled her off the bike. She watched as he moved to the saddlebags. He opened one and pulled something out. It was a blanket, which he promptly spread out on the ground. Then he knelt, taking Libby by the h**s and turning her toward him. His hands moved up her thighs, pushing her skirt up as he went. When there was nothing between them but her soaked thong she felt his hot breath against her. Her knees buckled when his lips first kissed her there, and then his tongue snaked out and caressed her.

Her hands fell to his shoulders as she struggled to remain on her feet. The silence of the night around them was broken by Libby’s soft cry. She swayed, and would have fallen if Logan hadn’t pulled her down on the ground with him. The next thing Libby knew she was lying on her back and Logan had moved between her legs. His hands slid beneath her naked bottom and he pulled her up and forward until his open mouth was able to love her in the most intimate way. A soft scream escaped Libby when the wet heat of his mouth and tongue moved against her with purpose.

“Oh!” She arched her h**s, her hands clenching in the blanket beneath her. Then Logan’s fingers moved the silk aside and before Libby could brace herself his tongue was slipping deep inside her twisting body. Her hands moved to Logan’s hair, not sure what she intended, the feelings he produced inside her too intense. Her heart raced out of control, and she couldn’t catch her breath. She tried to push him away, only he easily held her as his tongue continued to plunge in and out. “Logan!” she whispered sharply.

He didn’t answer her. How could he? His sensuous mouth was locked onto her flesh, sucking and manipulating her desire. Libby sucked in her breath. Her h**s rose to meet every stabbing thrust of Logan’s tongue, just as if his c**k was pounding into her. She felt the hot rush of a climax spiraling through her body, a violent current racing out of control. Never before had she known the pleasure of coming by a man’s mouth. But one thing Libby did know, it was like nothing she’d experienced.

When she climaxed every nerve ending in her body exploded in a kaleidoscope of intense ecstasy. She stiffened letting the pleasure consume her into letting go. Her body began to convulse, her breath coming in fast pants. Logan’s mouth was right there to capture the flood of release, licking at the warmth as if he were tasting honey. As Libby lay there suffering the aftershocks, uncharacteristic shyness enveloped her. She was thankful for the darkness, especially when Logan rose over her body and kissed her tenderly on the lips.

“That was your first time.” He said it as a fact, but Libby picked up on the awe in his tone. He also sounded immensely pleased. “Are you okay?”

She took a deep breath, a trembling smile he couldn’t see spreading across her mouth. “I almost bit my tongue off.”

A deep chuckled rumbled through Logan’s chest and he rolled on his back, bringing Libby with him, until she was lying fully on top of him. He spread his thighs so that she was between them. She became instantly aware of his arousal, right where his tongue had been a moment ago.

“What about you? Don’t you, ah, want to get rid of…this?” She purposely arched into his hard-on.

A bark of laughter escaped Logan, disturbing the natural sounds that surrounded them. “You’re a brazen witch.”

“I know what I want.” Libby decided they’d been through too much to be coy now. She wanted Logan, in every way. It was on the tip of her tongue to tell him the truth. Confess that her exclamation of love the other day in her bedroom was fact, not just something uttered in the heat of the moment. Only she was too afraid of rejection. “And, don’t you mean, wench?”

“No, you’re a witch, honey.” His hands smoothed over Libby’s bottom to the end of her skirt. “You’ve cast your spell on me.” She felt the tips of his fingers teasing the backs of her thighs. “I’ve never met another woman who gets me so hot, so fast.”

His admission pleased Libby. “Then we’re even, because what I feel in your arms I never felt with Scott. And since he’s the only other man I’ve been with I…oh!” She squirmed when his hands glided up the back of her thighs, tickling her. Only they didn’t stop there, and suddenly it wasn’t so funny anymore.

“You were saying?” Libby could hear the smile in his voice. One hand covered her naked bottom, while the other toyed with the string of her thong. “I, ah…” She couldn’t think, not when he was sliding the string up and down on his finger. His e******n was full and strong against her and Libby couldn’t help wondering why he wasn’t ravishing her. Where did he get his willpower? She wiggled again. “I can’t think when you’re doing that.”

“Then just feel,” Logan rasped. His hands cupped Libby’s bottom and he pulled her up so he could reach her lips. His k**s was tender, yet Libby sensed the passion waiting to explode forth. As their k**s deepened, Logan began to move her up and down against his shaft. “I want you, Libby.”

“Then take me,” she whispered against his lips.

“I have every intention of taking you.”

She gasped with surprise when he flipped them so she was beneath him. Kissing her, his hands moved over her breasts, pushing her blouse out of the way. His caresses bordered on roughness, revealing the heightened state he was in. But all Libby felt was pleasure beneath his hands, arching eagerly in silent demand for more. Lord, couldn’t he tell how she felt about him? She buried her fingers in his hair, holding him against her as he attacked her breasts like a starved beast.

“Logan…” Rapture zinged through her as his lips, teeth and tongue loved her hard nipples. Her hands pulled at his hair, the pleasure more than she could stand. Logan moved with the speed of a striking snake, grabbing Libby around both wrists and pinning her arms to the ground on either side of her head. Panting heavily, their eyes met, and held.

His e******n was throbbing strongly against Libby, as though trying to break free of the jeans holding it from its prize. Libby was aware of their hearts pounding as one, and the muscles of powerful thighs holding her down. His mouth returned to her quivering breasts and he loved them at his leisure. Her sharp gasps and low cries didn’t so much as slow him down. Helpless against his sensual attack, all Libby could do was lie there and twist with passion beneath his deliberate assault. She arched into him, melting inside as his arousal stimulated hers. She strained against his hold.

“Oh, God! Logan, I can’t take much more!” She couldn’t! She was going to go up in flames if he didn’t release her from the turmoil twisting through her body, and soon.

His only response was his mouth sliding away from her swollen breasts. His lips burned a liquid trail of fire along her throat to the line of her jaw, over to her ear and behind. In a move Libby barely took notice of he transferred her wrists to one hand, while his other smoothed down her body in a lingering caress that ended between her thighs. She caught her breath when he ripped the little lacy thong from her body with one tug.

Movements indicated he was freeing himself from his jeans. Before she could brace herself he slammed his h**s forward, burying his thick shaft all the way to her womb. A cry escaped Libby before she could rein it in. Then nothing else mattered as Logan began to love her in a fast and steady rhythm that rapidly climbed toward an explosive climax. For the second time in half an hour Libby felt her body explode with a pleasure that equaled nothing else. His mouth swallowed her cry of release, his low, deep grunt indicating his own. At the crucial moment Logan released her hands, and she was able to hold him to her quivering body.

Libby didn’t realize she was crying until the tremors began to subside, and she gradually became aware of other things, too. They were in a precarious situation, saved only by the cover of darkness. She recalled the darkness of the groundskeeper’s little house, thankful he was gone. Certain one or two of her cries had carried well beyond where they lay. As hot tears fell from the corners of her eyes to the ground, she fought the urge to reach up and wipe them away. She didn’t want Logan to question the reason for them.

His weight was comforting. A last shudder rippled over his body, and Libby suspected it had more to do with his flesh shrinking away from her body than actual desire.

She quivered a little too, just as sensitive down there as he was at the moment. Sultry night air caressed the wetness between her thighs, slowly cooling the fire Logan had created. And as the small breeze off the lake surrounded them, with it came the strong, musky scent of their coupling.

“You’re quiet.” Logan leaned the top half of his body off Libby to look down at her.

“I’m…” Her voice came out raspy and she cleared her throat and tried again. “I’m just enjoying the moment. I’ve never made love out in the open.”

“Another new experience for you tonight.” When he lowered his head she instinctively raised her face to his. They shared a tender k**s. Then Logan sighed. “As much as I, we enjoyed this…”

“Don’t you dare say it was a mistake.” Libby couldn’t bear to hear him say the words.

“Mistake? The first time we made love was a mistake, but it’s a little late to say this was a mistake, too.” Logan rolled off Libby to lie on his back next to her. “I was going to say it’s getting late, and it looks like rain. I should take you home.”

“Oh.” She rolled until she was relaxing half on top of him and able to meet the glitter of his eyes. “Gram went out on another one of her dates with Vincent, tonight.

They said they’d be home very late.” For the first time Libby realized her grandmother hadn’t exactly said when she’d be home. “I’m allowed to stay out until after nine tonight.”

Logan chuckled, encircling her waist with his arm to hold her close. “It’s a good thing I’m leaving this weekend.” He kissed Libby long and hard, gradually lessening it into something soft and overwhelmingly sensual. Libby m****d beneath his lips, slipping her tongue inside the cavern of his mouth and drinking the passion there. He tasted smooth and warm.

“Why?” she asked, when the k**s ended and she was able to draw breath again.

She felt Logan’s shrug. “There’s a shortage of forest firefighters. It’s time I get back to work. The fire I told you about has been burning out of control since Labor Day.”

Yes, the day fire. Libby heard about on the news. But she sensed that wasn’t the real reason he was leaving. Maybe he was going back to Anne. She didn’t want to think about it.

But she couldn’t wipe away the memory of how beautiful the woman was, how she’d carried herself with elegance and ease that day. Libby imagined she was the kind of woman who could walk into a room and command any man’s attention that she wanted.

It tore Libby up inside to even imagine Logan with another woman. A lot of things went through her mind but more than anything it saddened her, because she couldn’t make him love her. He seemed perfectly content to keep their relationship s****l. Maybe if she hadn’t been so, so available. Available…that single yet crucial word remained with Libby for a long moment. Opening her eyes to what she might have done wrong. Suddenly the old-fashioned phrase she’d heard her mother utter once, about buying the cow when you can get the milk for free, became painfully clear.

“You’ve been quiet for a long time. What are you thinking about?”

There was no way Libby was going to tell Logan the truth. “That what you do for a living must be very hard and dangerous work,” she lied. She felt a change come over Logan, subtle but immediate, and wondered the reason behind it.

“It can be.” Without warning he released Libby and got to his feet.

Was he thinking about his accident? She recalled his reaction to her curiosity that day in the kitchen, and knew she’d have to be careful. “Have you been a firefighter long?”

“About fourteen years. We signed up right out of high school.” He held his hand down to her.

She took it and let him pull her to her feet. “We?”

“Friends of mine, Pete and Ron.” His hesitation and tone of voice warned Libby that he didn’t like where their conversation was going.

“Are they still firefighters, too?”

“No.” Logan released her and bent to grab up the blanket. Without another word he rolled it up and stuffed it into the saddle bag. Once it was closed and secured he swung back to her. Nothing could prepare her for what he said next. “They’re both dead, Libby, because I killed them. And that’s all I’m going to say on the matter.”

Shock held Libby still. She didn’t for one moment believe that Logan killed anyone, not with his bare hands anyway. Yet the anguish in his voice exposed how deep the wound was.

She sensed his accident and the deaths of his friends were related. And that their deaths were far more painful than the scars marring his body. Her eyes sought his in the darkness.

How can he think he can make a statement like that and then just drop it?

“Logan…” Her voice choked with emotion as she blinked back the tears rapidly filling her eyes. He was so close, standing in front of her, yet seemed a thousand miles away. Shaking with emotion, Libby raised her hand and gently cupped his face. The desire to tell him she loved him had never been so strong. She felt his jaw tense beneath her palm, half expecting him to pull away. “Your friends perished in the same accident you were involved in, didn’t they?”

“Yes.”

“What you’re feeling is survivor’s guilt…”

“I told you…”

She couldn’t bear for him to say the words that would shut her out. Desperation caused Libby to rise up on her tiptoes and k**s him. She felt his surprise, then resistance beneath her mouth, but continued to move her lips over his in a soft, sensual k**s that soon melted his reserve. She sensed a mild victory when he crushed her against him, groaning low in his throat, and began to k**s Libby back as though he had no other choice. The urge to smile was wiped away to be replaced with desire.

Would she ever get enough of him? She hadn’t kissed Logan with any thought on her mind other than to stop his words. But now, Libby was exploding with longing inside. Like an opening to the sun, she welcomed the rush of sensation uncurling in her belly. She chuckled inwardly, when it suddenly occurred to her that maybe Logan had chosen the same tactics too. Kissing her back with such relish to take her mind off what they’d been talking about.

All too soon he released her. He bent to pick up his helmet and slipped it over Libby’s head, turning toward his bike. “Let’s go home.” She watched him swing his leg over, before moving behind him to do the same thing. Her arms automatically went around his waist, and she waited.

And waited.

And waited some more.

Finally Logan took a deep breath. “Ron and Pete were my best friends, we grew up together, went to the same schools.” He paused, as if he didn’t want to go on, or couldn’t. “We were like brothers. My decision is what killed them, Libby. I was the one calling the shots that day. We’d been called to assist with a wildfire burning out of control in Montana. By the time I realized they were trapped by the flames it was too late.”

Libby could hear the pain in Logan’s voice, the deep sorrow he felt over the loss. And the guilt. That more than anything else. He blamed himself, not only for their demise, but for surviving it. Her heart constricted, her eyes filled with burning tears. She didn’t know what to say. It didn’t matter anyway. There was a lump of emotion so tight in her throat that speaking was impossible. She hugged herself tighter against his back, willing him to feel how much she loved him.

“They knew they were going to die, Libby. It was in their eyes. I tried to make it to them, but that’s when the tree fell…the next thing I knew I woke up two days later in a hospital.” His voice had grown so low and hoarse that Libby had a difficult time hearing him. “When I opened my eyes, Ron’s wife, Penny, was sitting by my bed, holding my hand.

I didn’t have to tell her what happened, she already knew. She was there for me.”

Because she didn’t blame him, couldn’t Logan see that? The love he’d felt for Pete and Ron was evident in his tone. Tears slipped down Libby’s cheeks. “Logan…” Her voice caught on a sob. “It wasn’t your fault.” She bit down on her bottom l*p, but it was a pitiful attempt to hide her feelings. “Accidents happen.”

She felt Logan stiffen against her. “There’s no room for accidents when you’re in the middle of a forest fire out of control, Libby. No room for mistakes. I’ll never forget the look on their faces when they realized they weren’t going to make it out. When Ron yelled out for me to tell Penny he loved her…” His voice cracked and he couldn’t go on.

There was nothing Libby could say that would make it any better. His guilt had taken root. She knew what he needed was someone to listen to him, and time would dim the memory.

The silence stretched between them, and with it came the first tiny drops of rain.

“Let’s get you home.” Without warning Logan kick-started his bike and they were on the move. Libby could only hold on, as she had earlier, and let the wind brush away the tears on her cheeks.

It was late. The roads were quieter now, and darker. Logan’s speed made it seem like they were racing, but they couldn’t outrun the rain. Libby kept her arms tightly around his middle, her cheek pressed against his solid back. Relishing in the tightness of his stomach muscles beneath her arms. He was strong and powerful and she felt totally safe with him.

As they neared the bar Logan slowed his bike, turned his head and hollered, “Where’s your car?”

Libby was glad she’d let Leslie and Pat pick her up, because it gave her more time to be with him. “At Gram’s!”

He acknowledged her with a sharp nod, and then gunned the engine and they were flying again. The sky was pouring buckets of warm rain on them, but it didn’t matter.

Libby knew she would walk on hot coals if it meant being with Logan. Tears sprang in her eyes at just the thought of him not being in her life after that weekend.

Ten minutes later they pulled into her grandmother’s drive, soaked to the bone. Logan turned off his bike and Libby slid off, removing his helmet. Her eyes took in the dark house, surprised her grandmother wasn’t home yet, especially when the outline of Vincent’s car was clearly visible beneath his carport. She must have gone to bed and forgotten to leave a light on for her. She wordlessly handed Logan his helmet.

“You’d better go inside and dry off,” he said, taking it from her.

“I guess this is goodbye, then.” Libby forced down the lump building in her throat.

Logan shook his head no, then surprised her by reaching up and running his thumb over her bottom l*p “I’m not ready to say goodbye to you yet.”

Her belly fluttered at the husky timbre of Logan’s voice. She hesitated, wondering what that meant. Wondering if he was going to k**s her.

She could see his wolfish grin. He knows! “Goodnight, Libby.”

He started his bike and she turned and sprinted to the front door, resisting the impulse to glance back. She pulled the screen door open and stepped into the dark kitchen, not surprised at replaceing the door unlocked. More than once she’d scolded her grandmother for leaving the house open. These days living in a gated community didn’t ensure safety. She’d reminded her grandmother about the break-ins where prescriptions were taken, but she might as well have saved her breath. Her grandmother insisted the community, where she’d lived perfectly crime free for ten years, was perfectly safe. Besides, if they wanted her meds they were welcome to them!

Smiling at the memory, Libby’s hand patted its way up the wall toward the light switch, but she hesitated from flicking the light on when a noise from the other room reached her. Freezing, she waited to hear it again, trying to determine if it was the TV, radio, or her grandmother. She started to call out, and then thought better of it. She walked further into the room, leaving the kitchen and entering the living room. The next sound she heard caused her to stop dead in her tracks.

It was a girlish giggle, followed by a girlish, “Vincent! Stop that!”

Libby’s eyes nearly popped out of their sockets, her jaw dropped open in shock. What were her grandmother and Vincent doing in the bedroom, with the lights out? She couldn’t begin to fathom the reason why. Not at their ages! Vincent mumbled something, but it was too low to make out. The next thing she heard made her ears catch fire.

“Oh…it still works after all these years!”

Libby’s hand flew up to cover her mouth. What!? She didn’t even want to try and digest that comment, or the reason for it. Her only thought was getting out of there as fast as she could. She turned to flee, stumbling over Rufus and sending him hissing across the room. She held her breath, aware her heart was pounding heavily in her chest. The dead silence that followed was deafening.

“Libby?” The sound of uncertainty was evident in her grandmother’s tone. “Is that you, dear?”

A reluctant grin spread across her mouth. The gutsy, outspoken, woman she knew had been replaced with a soft-spoken, trembling voiced little old lady. Why, she actually sounds guilty!

“It’s me, Gram. I, ah, just got home.” Maybe she should just pretend she didn’t know that Vincent was in there too. “Did you, ah, have a nice evening out?”

“Ah, yes, it was nice. I’ll be right out. We have something to tell you.”

We? She guessed Vincent wasn’t going to crawl out the bedroom window and make his escape. Her smile widened as she reached for the floor lamp next to her grandmother’s recliner and turned it on.

Something told her this was going to be good!