Outliers
Chapter 17

Expose yourself to your deepest fear; after that, fear has no power, and the fear of freedom shrinks and vanishes. You are free.

- Jim Morrison

“You’re just going to sit there in silence and not divulge every detail to me?” Nero asked incredulously over a mouthful of cereal, milk dribbling down the side of his chin. From beside him, his uncle watched him with disgust.

I was back in the main cabin now, my return coming soon after the kiss, when it became clear my wounds had healed enough for me to travel. Thane had been hesitant to agree and insisted he checked over all of my wounds, but I hadn’t wanted to spend another second in the cabin alone with him. Now that I had given in to my lust, it was hard to be around him without wanting to throw myself at him with every chance I had.

“What are you talking about?” My eyes narrowed, darting between the three men sat with me in the kitchen. My stomach was suddenly in knots. Lorcan paid little attention to us, reading a book while drinking the biggest mug of coffee I had ever seen. Adriel suddenly replaceing interest in his empty breakfast plate in front of him, though he was definitely smirking as he did so.

Only Nero was looking at me; a grin split so large across lips, so large his cheeks dimpled.

“You reek of him, don’t play coy,” he drawled. It took only a second for his words to register, and a deep groan pulled from my throat as a scorching heat spread from my neck to my cheeks.

“This is my queue to leave,” Lorcan uttered gruffly, abandoning his breakfast on the counter as he stood to his feet and grabbed Adriel’s bicep. “Come on,” he urged.

“What?” Adriel gasped incredulously. “’I’m not leaving. This is hilarious. I’ve never seen you blush so hard, Emily!”

“We have training.” Lorcan fixed the immature Beta with a pointed look, tugging him unwillingly to his feet before dragging the begrudging man out of the room. I shot Lorcan a thankful look, which he reciprocated with a small smile.

“Your official training with me starts tomorrow. You’ll be in the second group with Nero.” Lorcan eyed Nero for a moment before shooting me what I could only describe as a sympathetic gaze. “Good luck,” he offered as his parting words, before leaving me alone under Nero’s interrogation.

When my attention returned to Nero, I groaned again, burying my face in my arms on the kitchen island counter, unable to keep looking at the smug expression on his face.

“Can everyone tell?” I uttered into my arms; the words muffled.

“Pretty much.”

Another groan. How mortifying. Every wolf I had walked by this morning in the main house, the wolves we had come across on our way back, hunting with Sandra – they had all been brutally aware of what had happened between me and the Alpha wolf beside me.

Sandra.

I needed to talk to her. Despite her reassurance that whatever was between her and Thane was over and that she had no feelings for him, I would feel awful if I didn’t speak to her about what had transpired. Alongside Nero, she was my closest friend in Colorado, and I couldn’t stand for there to be ill feelings between us.

“So?” He promoted.

“I need to talk to Sandra first, before I tell you anything.”

“What?” He exclaimed incredulously. “Sandra gets to know everything before me?”

“Considering their history, I want her to hear it from me first, not from a gossiping wolf that, like you, has already scented him on me.”

“Fine,” he huffed with a roll of his eyes. “But I’m coming with you to talk to her.”

“You’re so irritating, you know that?” I groaned, sluggishly moving to my feet.

Nero pouted, his already large innocent eyes widening further.

“You’re so mean to me. I sometimes wonder why I bother being your friend at all.”

“Sorry,” I sighed.

“I’m just joking. I know you’re just a naturally grumpy, terrible person.” He patted my head patronisingly. I scowled at him, and he grinned right back at me. “Come on, let’s go replace her before Lorcan’s training ends and her training begins.”

We found Sandra in her bedroom, a surprisingly large room on the first floor. I hadn’t been in here before, and it took me a moment to take in all the décor and belongings. As an exceptionally old wolf, it was no surprise that she had amassed quite the collection of things over the years.

Her large, floor-length mirror was propped against a wall, a thin dressing gown draped over the top. Large frames of posters and artwork decorated nearly every inch of the wall. There was a very over the top lampshade on a small table, complete with ribbons and tassels, and some ornate candle sticks, half melted. Dozens more knick-knacks filled the room, and I couldn’t hide my shock. This had not at all been what I had expected.

It seemed this was the first time Nero had been in here too, as he slowly perused the room, picking up various items to examine them. Sandra stood by the foot of her bed, shot him a glance over her shoulder, but continued with what she was doing before we arrived.

“We’re not interrupting anything, are we?” I was suddenly far too nervous, unsure how to even broach the subject of Thane and I.

She shot me an amused glance, chuckling as she assured, “I’m just sorting through my clean laundry.”

She was folding a t-shirt in her hands, a pile of clothes still to be sorted on her bed. Instantly I noticed a rather seductive, bright red lingerie set, with far more lace and straps than I’d ever seen before. Had she worn this for Thane when they were still sleeping together?

The sudden intrusive thought had my stomach dropping. Jealousy was not a feeling I was well acquainted with, and I sure as hell didn’t want to continue down this toxic path. Whatever had happened between Sandra and Thane had nothing to do with me. I certainly hadn’t cared before anything had happened between me and the Alpha Male. There was no need to be insecure.

“What’s up?” Sandra’s voice broke me out of my depressive musings.

“I wanted to talk to you about something.”

“Does it have anything to do with why I can smell Harris all over you?” She smirked and wiggled her eyebrows suggestively. “Did we do something naughty in the patrol cabin, Emily?”

“Oh, she sure did,” Nero snickered, finally bringing his attention back to us. “Come on, stop depriving us of the juicy details. I need to know. Tell us everything.”

“You’re okay with this? It doesn’t bother you?” I asked meekly, ignoring Nero entirely.

“Emily, I saw this coming since the day Harris ended things with me,” Sandra laughed. “I’m happy for you.”

“Brilliant!” Nero clapped his hands together, interjecting once again, his grin far too wide. “Now that we’ve sorted that out, give us the goss’. You were holed up in that cabin for two full days.”

“I don’t know what to say.” I shrugged shyly, a blush bright on my cheeks. “We kissed.”

Nero groaned, exasperated as he drawled, “Yes, that much is obvious. How did it happen? Who initiated it? Did you have sex?”

“Nero!” I chastised, my mortification growing by the second.

“These are all important questions!” He cried, hands flying in the air. He moved towards Sandra’s bed, diving onto it and almost kicking Sandra’s laundry onto the floor. Sandra joined him, seeming to enjoy this just as much as Nero, as she continued to smirk at me, and nodding vigorously in agreement.

“Very important questions,” she reiterated.

“We didn’t have sex,” I almost growled, glaring at them both.

“Ooh, someone seems frustrated about that,” Nero teased. “You definitely did something else, though, didn’t you?”

“I don’t want to talk about this.”

“Ugh!” Nero groaned, dramatically falling back to lie flat on the bed, arms stretched wide. “What good is it for you to be getting some action if you’re not going to share it with us? Whatever this thing between you and Harris is, has been going on for weeks! I thought for sure we’d finally get some quality gossip once you gave in to your hormones.”

“And your feelings for Harris,” Sandra chimed in.

“It’s just physical,” I was quick to correct.

Sandra arched one slender eyebrow and hummed; lips pursed disbelievingly.

“What?” I asked with a huff, when she said nothing.

“Is it just physical for Harris too?”

“I- of course it is!” Arms folded tight across my chest, a scowl set deep in my brow. The notion that whatever had happened between me and Thane was more than just sex was absurd.

She and Nero only shared a look, one that had my frustration growing. Suddenly, it felt as if I were back in Idaho, scoffing at the silly words of love from my mother and sister.

“If you say so,” Sandra conceded, tone dry and most definitely sarcastic.

***

It was midnight, and I was buried under my bed sheets, half asleep, when the sound of someone entering my bedroom disturbed me. I made no move to turn towards the intrusion, all too aware of the wolf that now shared the room. He was silent as he stalked over to the bed, and I held my breath in trepidation about what was to come next. An undeniably male body lifted the corner of the bedsheets, successfully allowing a blast of cold air to reach my exposed skin, and climbed into the bed beside me.

I was certainly awake now.

Frozen in place as Thane’s arm curved around my waist, the entire length of his body pressed up against mine from behind. I felt my breath catch. I couldn’t deny how good it felt to be held by him, or how arresting his scent was as it consumed the entire surrounding space.

“What are you doing?” My voice was hoarse from sleep, only a quiet whisper in the room’s darkness. I could feel his breath on the back of my neck, the soft exhales causing the loose hairs around the nape of my neck to dance and tickle the edge of my jaw. A shudder fought to wrack through my body, but I didn’t wish to give him the satisfaction of such a reaction.

“I’ve just finished patrolling,” was his drowsy response, the exhaustion clear in his voice. I felt the tension in my body ease ever so slightly, but still I remained on edge.

“I mean in my bed.” My heart was pounding furiously, and I knew without a doubt that I would get no rest if he stayed here beside me.

“Sleeping,” he breathed quietly, words almost whispered as he settled.

“It’s a small bed,” I uttered, swallowing back a lump in my throat. “You’re too tall. Surely your bed is more comfortable.”

“You’re not in my bed.”

The honesty in his answer silenced me. What could one say to something like that? Now all I could think of was Sandra’s earlier words, and of how wrong I had been.

“Sleep,” he murmured softly, the deep timber of his voice like a gentle breeze through woodland trees; an unchallenged force of nature, awakening and powerful. The tip of his nose grazed the length of my neck and this time, the shiver that sparked across my flesh couldn’t be stopped. Lips pressed to my skin, and I could feel the curve of his smile. This unquestionably was not the actions of a male simply in lust.

I shifted in his arms, not to escape his embrace, but to turn and meet his gaze. Through the darkness, I could see his eyes with sharp clarity; a rich brown so different from the cool shimmer of his wolf. His human eyes were not that of haunting beauty, a vicious twin to the silver of the moon, but akin to the dark earth after heavy rain.

“What are we doing?” I dared to whisper into the silence between us, my voice timid, fearful. Whatever this was between us, it was dangerous.

It wasn’t something I could quickly dismiss. If I continued on this path, there would be no turning back. There could be no returning to the relationship we’d once had; simply an Alpha and his pack mate.