When I walked into the room, I wasn’t sure what to expect since I was certain everyone had read or at least heard about the article. A part of me expected utter silence and mean looks, but instead, I was welcomed in with warm hellos and hugs and even a few hell yeah, girl!.

I quickly came to the understanding that I am not even close to the first Miss Americana who has been outed for dating someone while reigning, and until now, everyone thought it was some outdated rule no one abided by, like how it’s technically illegal to eat a pickle on Sundays in Trenton. No one actually expects it to be enforced.

‘Hell, I got engaged during the last month of my reign, and Regina congratulated me!’ Laura, the queen from two years ago says. ‘And then she asked if I’d be interested in having it televised as a royal wedding.’

My eyes widen, and I let out a small laugh at that.

‘Regardless of all of your opinions, it’s a rule that the current reigning Miss Americana must be single or forfeit her crown,’ Anne says from a corner where I didn’t even realize she had been sitting.

I roll my eyes and open my mouth, but Tina speaks instead. ‘You know, if you put even just half of the energy you put into being a hater into being personable, you might have won, Anne.’

I roll my lips into my mouth and fight a laugh. Anne’s face goes nearly as red as her hair, and she goes to say something but a head pops in.

‘Forty minutes, ladies!’ the manager shouts, and I grimace.

‘Oh, fuck,’ I say. Jaime and I spent nearly an hour downstairs trying to figure out what was going on, and then I spent another fifteen minutes once I finally got up here gossiping and now I have almost no time to get ready. I look around and see all of the girls in various states of readiness, but most are nearly finished.

‘Okay, ladies, assemble!’ Cara says. ‘I’ve got her hair.’

‘Is this your makeup bag?’ Emily asks, and I nod.

‘Sit, sit! Madison, help me zip this, and then I’ll start on Ava’s base,” Ashleigh says.

And as it seems to be, when you’ve got girlhood backing you up, we all move into business mode and get shit done.

Thirty five minutes later, Regan is helping me zip into my dress when the door opens, probably one of the event managers here to rush us along to stay on schedule.

‘We’re almost ready!” I shout with a giggle, and Cara pins my crown into place. ‘The stagehand told us we had until three fifteen to get ready,’ I say, only to realize the room has gotten silent, Cara’s hands in my hair freezing. ‘What⁠—’

But then I see it.

A man in all black, a ski mask pulled over his face, walking in and closing the door behind him.

“Oh my god!” I shout and start to back up, looking left and right to see if there’s anyone in the room who might be able to help, but unfortunately, it’s just a room full of pageant queens in an array of dresses and makeup.

Oh, god, Jaime is going to kill me when he realizes we were unguarded.

That’s the most I let myself feel before I narrow my eyes on the intruder wearing all black, a black mask covering his face like some shitty villain. Compared to Jaime, he’s short, maybe five foot nine, and again, compared to Jaime, he’s tiny, has a narrow waist, and scrawny arms. A tattoo peeks out on his arm, and I take note of it before the training Jaime gave me kicks in.

Try and diffuse before you attack, but don’t waste much time.

My hand reaches out, grabbing the first thing I can before I say in a brave tone, “Get out of here, you’re not authorized to be in here.” I tip my head to the side where the door is open. “Just leave, and we won’t make a big deal out of this.”

“You come with me, and there won’t be a big deal,” he says, moving closer to me. Over his shoulder, I see Miss New York, a large can of some king of spray in her hands.

She smiles at me, then nods.

Smiles.

You know, maybe my friends and I are just a bit insane.

Unfortunately for him, our intruder doesn’t seem to understand just how unhinged we are, and he takes a step closer to me. When he does, my shoulders go back, my feet shifting into the stance Jaime taught me.

“Seriously, I wouldn’t get any closer. You’re going to regret it.” The asshole laughs, his eyes green and somewhat familiar, but I don’t have the ability or energy to figure out who it is, needing to concentrate on what’s in front of me because this asshole laughs.

He laughs. “Or what?”

I smile.

God, this is like a bad movie, isn’t it?

“Or else we’re going to have to kick your ass,” I say.

“Fuck this,” he says, done with the game. Then he moves, hands out like he’s going to grab me, and that’s when chaos erupts.

I move the giant can of hair spray I grabbed, spraying it at his face, Regan next to me doing the same, and he starts to scream, covering his eyes.

“Is that glitter spray?!” I ask.

“It’s all I could grab!” she shouts back, but then he screams as Peach, deciding for the first time that I’ve ever seen that someone is a threat, jumps, digging her claws into his arm.

For a moment, I panic for her safety, but then I watch as Emily slams the hair dryer into the back of the man’s head until he falls to the ground. Peach jumps next to him, swatting at his face repeatedly, as Madison comes up behind him, using the wire of a hair tool to tie up his hands.

“What the fuck!” the man says as she sits on his back. Somewhere near his feet, Ashleigh is tying his legs up with a pair of pantyhose, and then we all stand back, taking in our masterpiece. He tries to get up, but Peach jumps on his ass, claws digging in, and I crouch next to his face.

“I’d stay down if I were you,” I say with a sweet smile.

“You bitch⁠—”

I take the hair spray and spray him again, making sure to get it into his eyes.

“I’d also shut the fuck up. To be fair, I did tell you we’d kick your ass.”

The man opens his mouth, his fabric mask a bit askew, but a quietness takes over the room when the main door opens, and my name is shouted.

“Ava—!”

When I look up, a very flustered, very panicked Jaime is standing in the doorway, and I stand with a smile before putting my foot to the stranger’s back like a conquering pirate. “Oh, good timing.”

He looks around the room, the intruder lying on the floor, tied up with multiple hair tools, covered in glitter and dry shampoo, and who the fuck knows what else, before closing his eyes and sighing.

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