While the Emperor was accelerating his people’s evolutionary progress, the Alliance forces were far from idle. The North Koreans confirmed the assassination of the American President was a Psi-Omegan plot, coupled with the assault on the former headquarters resulting in the deaths of half a dozen Canadian soldiers regalvanizing the Alliance’s desire to bring Paul Stragdoc to justice.

More and more test vessels attempted to break through the atmosphere and maneuver in vacuum, with an increasing rate of success. But it was the Americans who first managed to build a small assault craft...and they did it without telling the other Alliance members, for they still believed that Stragdoc’s removal would cause the Alphite threat to dissipate.

Therefore, with that plan cemented in their hearts, the newly minted President authorized a secret mission to the Chancel. One agent, operating under the code name “Conrad”, was sent aboard the specialized craft, which would attach itself to the outer hull of the orbital city, so that Conrad would be able to infiltrate the vessel and neutralize the threat however he could.

To that end, he was equipped with conventional explosives as well as exploding rounds, the thought being to inflict such massive damage that the would-be Emperor would not be able to recover from.

To say that the plan did not go well is an understatement.

Conrad was able to infiltrate the vessel easily enough, but the American government was blissfully unaware of what had been going on aboard the vessel. Apparently having detected his thoughts before the airlock his ship was positioned over could be opened, Victor Karman had been waiting.

Conrad was seized; his arms bound, but was confused when they left his radio transmitter attached to him. So were the Americans...until the interrogation started. It was quite simple: Stragdoc wanted them to hear every second of what was about to happen.

The following is an audio transcript of the “interrogation”:

FEMALE VOICE: You know who I am?

CONRAD: Calixta Morsalis, the ambassador.

MORSALIS: Quite right. And you are, let us see, your code name is “Conrad”?

MALE VOICE: Someone at the Pentagon is a Heart of Darkness fan.

MORSALIS: Apparently. And tell me Conrad, do you know who my companion who captured you is?

CONRAD:If I had to guess, Victor Karman, Stragdoc’s security chief.

MORSALIS: Very good, we are all acquainted now. You came to kill our Emperor, yes?

CONRAD: silence

KARMAN: Answer her and it will go easier for you.

CONRAD: As in a quick death, no torture? Somehow, I doubt that.

MORSALIS: Oh no, we are going to make an example of you no matter how you answer us, Mr. Tran. That is your real surname, yes? David Tran of Sacramento California, unmarried, common-law relationship with your boyfriend John Cord? Stop me if I get anything wrong.

CONRAD: H-how could you…

MORSALIS: Know all that? David, you told me just now.

CONRAD: I...I never…

KARMAN: Did you think the Emperor was the only one with gifts?

MORSALIS: Does John know what you do for the government? I would think that being a lifelong pacifist he would be disgusted to know that you are basically a hired gun.

CONRAD: Leave him out of this you bi-! *inarticulate scream*

MORSALIS: Now now, keep using that sort of language and I will do worse than break your pinkie finger.

CONRAD: *panting* You...you didn’t...touch me…

MORSALIS: That is the amazing thing, David! I do not have to! As the Commander said, we have gifts too. For example, right now I am holding your big toe without even touching it. Want to see what I can do with it?

CONRAD: *screams*

MORSALIS: I just snapped the bones that make it up.

KARMAN: Did you come to kill the Emperor?

CONRAD: G-go to hell! *scream*

MORSALIS: And that was your left testicle I just crushed. *giggle*

CONRAD: B-itch…

MORSALIS: I will let that one pass due to the amount of pain you are in. Did you come to kill our Emperor?

CONRAD: *weakly* Yes.

MORSALIS: There we go! And doesn’t it feel better to tell the truth?

KARMAN: Are you an agent of the Alliance or just the American government?

CONRAD: J-just my country.

MORSALIS: Very good. Of course, we already knew those things, we just hate liars, don’t we Commander?

KARMAN: Loathe them.

MORSALIS: See, we can pull any answers from your mind we want, but like the parents of a very naughty child, we feel it is better to have the child just admit things. Otherwise, we might have to punish your friends as well.

CONRAD: Please...John...he’s not...part of this.

KARMAN: We will be the judges of that.

MORSALIS: Now tell us David, do you know what their contingency plan is in case you failed your mission? You know, as you just did?

CONRAD: I...I don’t…

KARMAN: He is hiding something.

CONRAD: I...I swear…

MORSALIS: Hm. You are right. He is trying very hard not to think of something. All I can see is his boyfriend. Very cute, by the way.

KARMAN: Yeah that is all I get too. What do you want to do, ma’am?

MORSALIS: Bring his attention back to the matter at hand of course.

*a crunching sound*

CONRAD: *screaming* MY MOUF! WHA YOU DO MY MOUF?!

MORSALIS: Crushed all the teeth on the left side. Even your wisdom teeth on that side.

CONRAD: *still screaming* CRAZY BITCH!

KARMAN: Watch what is left of your mouth, or we will do far worse.

CONRAD: *sobbing in pain* See bwoke my mouf…

MORSALIS: Con. Tin. Gen. Cy. Plans.

CONRAD: *inarticulate mumbling*

KARMAN: Breaking his teeth might not have been the best course, ma’am.

MORSALIS: That is all right, I got a good clear look when he mumbled. The Americans want to nuke us.

KARMAN: Bastards.

MORSALIS: Indeed. And that means you are going to have to suffer more, David. To show them what we will do to each and every one of them. But I have good news; you were a good boy so we’ll leave John alone. What do you say about that?

CONRAD: ...f...fank...you….

The next hour of the recording is the sound of breaking bones and screams from the agent. His vessel was removed from the hull of the Chancel, his broken but still living body packed inside it, then towed back to Earth orbit. It was retrieved by one of the Alliance’s low-orbital craft, and carefully returned to the surface. Inside was found Conrad AKA David Tran, or what was left of him. It was a miracle he was still alive, but his mind had completely snapped under the torture. Upon being freed, he handed an envelope to his rescuers. Inside was an invitation addressed to the newly appointed American President, to the wedding of Emperor Paul Stragdoc to Ambassador Calixta Morsalis.

By all accounts, the invitation itself was quite tasteful, even if its manner of delivery left something to be desired.

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