Phantasmagoria
Are You Ready To Rumble?

I headdown stairs after I get dressed to go out. I come into the kitchenand I see Hannah already dressed and ready to take Jayden to school.She's concentrating on cooking breakfast for me, as I can see thatJayden has already devoured his. He's finishing off his last slice oftoast before he flies out of the room and goes to retrieve his bag. Igo over to Hannah, knowing she must be upset with me.

''I'msorry,'' I whisper in her ear as I hug her from behind.

''It'sOK, it wasn't you,'' she tells me, but I know she is lying so that Idon't feel too guilty. I know it was me who woke her up, because it'sdue to my stupid nightmares. Every time I dream about the timeHannah's brother Jayden died in Afghanistan, it wakes her up. Ibelieve when I scream his name in my dreams I say it out loud, and itreminds Hannah of...him. I don't mean to do it, but the image isembedded in my brain of Jayden's last moments. It's a reminder enoughthat we named our son after him.

''Hannah...I'mreally sor-'' I begin to say before she turns around abruptly.

''Isaid it wasn't you,'' Hannah says as she cuts me off. I look into hereyes remorsefully, knowing she hates seeing me beat my self upbecause of my annoying ramblings that I say aloud in my sleep. Whycan't I get Jayden's death out of my head? Does it show that I'munable to move on mentally? Or am I becoming a classic jar-headbasket case? Not sure why the government chose me to go ahead withthis stupid game, they know about my nocturnal psychologicalproblems.

''Yousure you don't want me to take him to school?'' I say to her, tryingto make up for my misdemeanour of the unconscious mind.

''No,it's alright, I want to take him. Your brother is coming around nowisn't he?'' Hannah asks me. My brother? Oh, I completely forgot! He'scoming to meet me for breakfast.

''Youforgot, didn't you?'' Hannah says, registering the look I have on myface that shows that I did indeed forget.

''Goodthing I got ready,'' I tell her, showing her that I'm already dressedto go out. We both smile and then kiss each other before Jayden comesback in, ready to go with his bright blue coat, his favourite red andwhite sneakers and his Spider-Man backpack.

''Thankyou for breakfast, Mom,'' he beams as he hugs Hannah. She hugs himback and bends down to give him a kiss on his head. He comes to hugme too, so I bend down to lift him up from the ground so that I cangive him the hug I give him everyday.

''Yoube good today, alright Jay?'' I tell him as I settle him down on theground and ruffle his curly afro.

''Iwill, Daddy,'' Jayden says, a massive grin planted on his face. My,he looks just like his uncle.

''OK,time to go. We don't want to be late, do we Jay?'' Hannah says as shegrabs her jacket and bag which are hanging on a chair around thetable and proceeds to put them on. I cart Jayden out of the kitchenand down the hallway towards the door as Hannah follows closelybehind.

''Iwonder what time Reuben is coming?'' I say aloud, curious to know ifHannah might know something.

''Idon't know, but he should be here soon,'' Hannah replies. I letHannah pass me in the hallway, and she grabs the car keys off thehook on the wall behind me and heads to the door, where Jayden iswaiting for her to open it up. Hannah opens it, and just as her andJayden head down the steps of the house, she is greeted by a man in alight grey blazer jacket, a white top, light blue denim jeans andnavy blue brogues at the base of the steps. It's my brother, Reuben.

''Oh,speak of the devil,'' Hannah says as she turns to look at me.

''That'sharsh, Hannah,'' Reuben muses. I laugh quietly to myself as I gotowards the door to greet my brother.

''UncleRed!'' Jayden says as he sees Reuben. He runs into him and nearlyknocks Reuben off his block. Reuben's called 'Red' because, like mynickname, it is made up of the first parts of his first and secondnames, Reuben Edgar.

''Hey,little man? Going off to school now?'' Reuben says playfully withJayden as he ruffles his afro.

''Yeah,''Jayden replies monotonously, trying to sound unhappy.

''Andwe've got to leave now if we don't want to be late, Jay,'' Hannahsays to Jayden as she goes to take a hold of his hand.

''HiHannah,'' Reuben says as he greets Hannah with a hug and kiss on hercheek.

''HiReuben,'' she says as she does the same. ''Sorry we can't stay long,we gotta go. Don't keep him too long, Red,'' Hannah continues beforeshe heads off to the left to take Jayden to school.

''Iwon't. Take care, guys,'' Reuben says as he waves goodbye to Jaydenand Hannah. We both watch them go off for a while before I speak toReuben.

''Hey,Red,'' I greet Reuben as he comes up the steps.

''HeyNash, ready to go?'' Reuben asks me as we finish embracing.

''Yeah,let me just grab my jacket,'' I say as I quickly head in and take myblack biker jacket of the hook on the side wall and head outside thedoor. ''Where to this time?'' I ask Reuben as I lock up the door tomy house.

''Sameplace,'' Reuben answers from behind.

''OK,but this time, I need an espresso,'' I say.

''Roughnight again, huh?'' Reuben asks rhetorically. He always knows whenI've had a bad night.

''Readme like a book,'' I respond as we both head down the steps and gotowards our favourite breakfast joint, which is a few blocks in theopposite direction of where Hannah and Jayden have just headed.

* * *

''Hannah'slooking hot as usual, Nash,'' Reuben muses as we finish collectingour chicken and salad subs from a sandwich vendor we have gone to.

''Excuseme?'' I respond, knowing he is only joking with me.

''Justkidding, Nash, just kidding,'' Reuben says. See, told you he waskidding.

''Whattime you going into work?'' I ask my brother. He's happily devouringhis sub with giant mouthfuls.

''Umm,ummm, like, 2:30,'' I manage to hear as he speaks whilst chomping onhis food. I glance at my watch when he says this, and I see that ithad just turned 9:00. My brother works as a software developer, so heknows quite a bit about technology.

''Yougonna get lunch before or on your way in?'' I ask him, before I takein a mouthful of my sub.

''Onthe way. I have some errands to run before that so I don't think I'llhave time,'' Reuben replies. He takes in a final mouthful of his subbefore he stops and makes a grunting sound.

''What?''I ask him, unsure of what is trying to convey to me. He points to abench in a park across from us.

''Let'ssit over there and chat,'' He says as he scrunches the wrapping ofthe sub and chucks it into a near by bin.

''Alright,let me just get some coffees,'' I say to him as I spot our usualcoffee shop next to us.

''Black,no sugar please,'' he tells me as a way of an order.

''Sure,''I respond as I proceed to enter the shop. There's a large queueinside because it's the morning period. I don't wait long, however,since I know the boss of the shop.

''Hey,Nash! How are you doin'?'' Miguel Esposito shouts across to me atopthe gaggle of waiting customers. He's a Mexican barista who knows hiscoffee. He's a big and tall man, but is as soft as a teddy bear onceyou get to know him. He runs the shop along with his sons anddaughter.

''I'mfine, Mig, just fine,'' I project my voice back over to him so thathe can hear me.

''Good,good. Hey, I'll have Mario bring you the usual, yeah?'' he tells me.

''Actually,could I have an espresso with no sugar and a black with no sugarplease?'' I ask him. Miguel looks at me as if something is wrong.

''Oneof those days, eh?'' he asks me rhetorically.

''Yep,it's one of those days,'' I say back. In under a minute Mario comesout of the large crowd of people with two coffee cups in his hand.Some customers look at him with slight irritation. Well, it sucks tobe you right now!Ah, I'm so bad.

''Hereyou go, Uncle Nash,'' Mario says as he hands over the cups. Mario isabout 17 years old, and he has thick black curly hair pushed back bya black head band. He's a lighter colour than his father, but is theyoungest of the three children. He's wearing a white apron over hisjeans and white t-shirt.

''Thankyou, Mario. How's your mum and siblings?'' I ask him.

''Mum'sOK; Francesca and Sandro are at college,'' he replies. He has thiswarm grin that reflects his nice personality.

''Alright,tell them I said hi,'' I say to him.

''OK,I will,'' he answers back. As I start to leave, I turn and shout toMiguel.

''Takecare of yourself, Mig!'' I say.

''Youtoo, Nash! Oh, and say hi to Hannah and the little guy for me!''Miguel shouts back as I head out the door.

''OK,I will, see ya!'' I reply to Miguel as I head out the door. As I comeoutside, I expect to see my brother...but he isn't there.

''Wheredid you go off to....'' I begin to say to myself as I scan around. Iremembered that he spoke about going to sit on the bench that hepointed to across the street. He waves to me as soon as I spot him,and I stride over to him, trying not to spill the coffees in my hand.

''Sorry,just wanted to get these seats before the Van Buren bum came and tookthem,'' Reuben says as I pass him his coffee. I laugh as I take myseat beside him. Reuben takes a sip of his coffee and I do the same.

''Ah,Miguel is the best,'' Reuben says as he relaxes on the bench.

''Yep,he is,'' I agree. We then begin drinking our coffees in silence forthe next few moments.

''Soooo,are you ready to rumble?'' Reuben asks me.

''Rumble?I wish,'' I say to him.

''Rumblein Phantasmagoria,'' he says. I feel like I'll be doing more of atumble than a rumble..

''Thegovernment ordered me, I have no say in the matter,'' I half lie tohim. He would think me nuts if I told him it was all me.

'''Nathaniel Aston Williams, you are hereby ordered to enter intoPhantasmagoria','' Reuben says, mimicking an army general with a deepvoice.

''Haha,very funny,'' I reply. We laugh briefly, but Reuben becomes suddenlyserious.

''Seriously,Nash, you're not in the army any more, why are you doing this?''Reuben asks me. He's looking at me straight in the eye. I hate itwhen he does this. He puts me on the spot all the time when hebelieves I'm making stupid decisions.

''Theypromised me and Hannah a better life if I complete it successfully,''I tell him.

''Oh,come on, Nash! I never thought you would be one of those guys,''Reuben says, sounding disappointed in me. I don't want to admit it,but I probably am starting to sound like one of 'those guys' who dothings for money and fame.

''I'mnot, Reuben. I just...I don't know, I want to make things better forHannah. She's not been too good as of late, and I feel like I'mfailing in my job in being a husband and father,'' I reveal toReuben. He looks at me, acknowledging the problems we've been having.

''They'regetting worse, aren't they?'' he asks me, knowing the answer already.Yeah, my damn nightmares are getting worse.

''It'slike some sick joke someone's playing on me, replaying it over andover again,'' I tell him as I stare hard at the ground.

''AndHannah's at the receiving end of it,'' Reuben says. I hate hurtingHannah, whether it's unintentionally or not.

''Maybethis game will...help me somehow,'' I say. Did I really just saythat?

''Itbetter, otherwise I don't want to be spending my days picking upJayden from school because Daddy's gone mentally AWOL again,'' Reubensays, trying to sound funny. That is one period of my life I wouldnot like to go back to. Those times were really dark.

''Ihope I do win it,'' I say to Reuben. I'm trying to give myself hopeby saying that.

''That'sa risk you're willing to take? Your mind might not be able to take itif you lose,'' Reuben tells me.

''Really?How so?'' I ask him.

''Yeah,your mind's not used to what will happen in that game, since it's allimagination based. You might go coo-coo if you spend long amounts oftime in there or if you stretch the limits of your mind,'' Reubenexplains.

''That'sunreal,'' I say to him, trying to take it in.

''Yep.My company is trying to come up with software to counter the effectsof it. We believe it has something to do with a certain part of thebrain shutting down to save the memory, but we need to consult withneurologists and psychology experts to look more into it,'' Reubencontinues.

''Thanksfor putting me off, Reuben,'' I say to my brother sarcastically.

''I'mjust letting you know what happens, bro. Letting you know what you'regetting yourself into,'' Reuben tells me.

''No,thank you, Reuben. At least I'm a bit more prepared,'' I say. Ifinish drinking my coffee before putting it in the bin next to me.

''Ah,shoot! I gotta head off now, Nash. Gotta go to the other side of townbefore I go work,'' Reuben says as he stands up and puts his coffeecup in the bin too.

''Alright,take care of yourself, man,'' I tell him as I stand up and give him ahug.

''Yeah,you too. Let me know if you need to talk some more, OK? I worry aboutmy big bro sometimes, you know,'' Reuben says to me.

''Yeah,I will,'' I say to him before he heads off in the opposite direction.I stand and watch him leave and then I look at the time on my wristwatch. I sigh as I see that it's turning 10:00 already.

''Timeis breezing past,'' I say to myself as I head back towards home. As Ileave, I see the Van Buren bum come and take his place on the benchmy brother and I had just been sitting on. I carry on walking as Ithink about what my life will be like in less than a week.