Potent
Chapter 19: Are You Afraid?

Valentine raised an eyebrow, not sure if he believed her.

“I see. I can… tell you again.”

Gemini didn’t reply. Her face had gone back to pale and suddenly, a new expression hung on her face. Something emotionless and weary. She sat perfectly still.

“That won’t be necessary. I understand now.”

“You do?”

“Yes.” Her voice sounded different too. What was wrong with her? Why the sudden change in emotions? “You don’t have to explain. I’d prefer if you didn’t.”

Wait, what? He narrowed his eyes.

Gemini slowly stood up, her eyes far away. “I’ll go back home now.”

“I didn’t tell you to leave.”

Violently, Gemini jerked her head up and gave him a moment of fixed anger and… hurt?

“Yes, you did.”

Valentine nearly dropped his mouth in confusion but decided it best not to.

“What on earth are you talking about?”

“Nothing. I-I should just go.” She turned away, walking ceremoniously in towards the hallway that led to the gates. Valentine caught up with her in two strides. He stood in front her, blocking her way to the hallway.

“You can’t just leave without explaining. What’s upsetting you?” He insisted. Really, why was she going to leave without explaining herself?

“Are you really that dense? Or are you just playing games with me?” She spat. He nearly took a step back.

“I’m not playing games with you. Tell me what’s wrong. One moment you’re embarrassed, the next you’re acting like I’ve wounded you,” Valentine replied.

“That’s because you have!” Gemini snapped.

“In the past, yes. I think I apologized for that.”

“You did. But then you had to go and…” She trailed off, crossing her arms. Her lip curled in anger but her eyes were filling with tears.

“Gemini, just tell me. I honestly have no idea what I said or did to offend you.”

“FINE!” She shouted. Valentine flinched. He had never seen her so angry. “I asked you if you meant what you said earlier and you said, ‘Wasn’t it obvious?’ Then when I said it wasn’t, you offered to spell it out for me. So if you wanted to break it to me that you don’t feel the same way, there are nicer ways to do it!”

“What!?”

Valentine looked so flabbergasted, Gemini couldn’t stand it. She wiped away a few tears with her fingers, trying to pretend her heart hadn’t splintered into thousands of pieces that pierced her inside.

“I’m not repeating myself. Nor am I going to humiliate myself even more. That’s why I’m going home.”

Gemini walked around Valentine but he grabbed her arm, stopping her. “Valentine, let me go! I don’t want to hear anymo--”

His lips stopped hers. Suddenly, she was pressed against him. He was kissing her.

He was kissing her. His fingers were in her choppy blonde hair, his hand was still firmly on her arm. Reluctantly, he pulled away, putting his forehead on her own.

“Will you stop making assumptions for just one moment?” Valentine breathed, glaring at her. He set his jaw. “I love you and if you think otherwise for one moment, I swear, I will drag you to the altar myself.”

Gemini could barely do anything as pure shock set in. Rushes of fear, happiness, awe, and thousand other motions went through her. This can’t be… he’s… he’s… Valentine. With his reputation, this shouldn’t be happening.

No, no, no, this should be happening. He’s not entirely evil. He’s just a broken person in need of love. Just then, the logical part of her brain kicked in.

Wait, wait, wait! You don’t know him!

Yes, I do! I’ve spent months with him, half the time in close to death situations. I know what his past is and he knows mine.

Gemini, don’t rush blindly into this!

I won’t! But I’ve never truly loved a man this much. I’ve already failed with love once. This is my chance to redeem myself. I never thought this would happen to me.

“Gemini.” Valentine’s voice broke her argument with herself. “Before you respond, answer something for me.”

She swallowed, her throat feeling suddenly dry. “Are you afraid?”

Gemini blinked.

“Of you?”

He nodded.

Was she afraid of him? Gemini felt as if there wasn’t a clear answer. She knew the reason she was a little afraid of him ran deeper than he suspected…

“I…”

Once again, his face was fairly stoic but his eyes couldn’t lie. She could see how desperately he wanted to know. Gemini rested her head on his chest, as if testing the security of his embrace. Or perhaps it was because she wanted to hide her face. “Generally speaking, no.”

“Specifically, what?” He pressed. Gemini furrowed her eyebrows in an attempt to understand why he was so curious. She fumbled for an answer that was kind yet truthful. But also something that hid her true answer.

“I-I don’t know you just… look so serious and--angry. Some of the time.”

Valentine didn’t seem to deny it.

“You told me once that you weren’t afraid of me but what I could do.”

She remembered that time. They were arguing after the ball in Kalt. “Does my magic scare you?”

“No, no. It’s--amazing. It’s just… the possibilities it has and--and what you’ve done with it.” Her voice got quiet near the end, hoping she hadn’t hurt him. “I guess I’m a little scared. But I don’t want to be.”

“I see.”

He was acting weird. Valentine was usually sharper, used less gentle wording, and didn’t ask as many questions. He nudged her away from him and took her hand. “I want to show you something.”

Valentine led her back to his private quarters. Once again, Gemini noticed the hand-drawn portraits of people nailed to his wall. To her surprise, he stopped in front of them.

Silent, he stared at the drawings, seemingly lost in thought.

“Who are they?” Gemini glanced at Valentine.

“My family,” he answered, absentmindedly. She drew a quiet breath of shock. Then turned her eye to portraits again.

“Did you draw these?”

“Yes.”

“How?” She asked, her interest piqued. “They look so detailed and life-like.”

“Ink and paper. I used a little magic to help get their features right. I wanted it to look like them as much as possible.”

Gemini tried to catch his eye but he seemed very distracted. She was glowing with pride at the thoughtful way he came up with to picture his family’s faces.

“Valentine… these are so sweet.” She smiled fondly.

His eyes snapped to hers.

“Sweet?”

“Yes. You wanted to remember what they looked like, right?” She murmured.

Color rose to his cheekbones. He glanced at the floor.

“Yes.”

Gemini folded her hands in front of her. Her smile grew at how tough he was trying--and failing--to be.

“Why did you want to show me this?”

“I want you to trust me.” He looked over again, this time she had trouble holding his gaze.

“I do trust you. Mostly.” Gemini smiled teasingly. Valentine seemed a little surprised at first, most likely from her teasing. But his face morphed into a tiny smile.

He moved over to his bed, sitting on it. Gemini joined him, wondering if he wanted to talk about something.

“This is… difficult for me. No one but Daniel-Kane and Mira have seen these.”

“It’s alright. I’m honored to have seen them,” Gemini assured him.

They sat in silence for a few moments.

Presently, Gemini realized she probably needed to clean herself up after fighting Malcolm. She probably smelled like sweat and blood. She started to stand and was about to speak but Valentine’s hand clamped down on her wrist.

“Stay. Please,” He said, softly. It was obvious how hard he was trying not to let his voice waver.

I guess he doesn’t care what I look like or smell like right now…

“Okay,” She said, sitting again.

“I don’t want to be alone tonight.”

A hot blush broke out across Gemini’s face.

“Of course not, not after today.”

Valentine nodded and bent down to pull off his boots. She kicked off her shoes too. He pulled back the sheets and blankets on his bed. “Would you like me to tuck you in?” She asked, in a sugary sweet tone.

Valentine fixed one moment’s worth of annoyed and sour glaring on her. Gemini giggled, trying to hide her grin as he slipped into his covers. His fingers fumbled at the collar of his shirt, undoing the almost entirely hidden buttons.

Instantly, Gemini turned her back to him, her face flaming.

“What is it?” His voice came from behind her.

“N-nothing,” She managed to say.

Little did she know that Valentine was grinning behind her as he balled up his shirt, tossing it on the floor. He pulled his sheets over him.

“You can look now,” He announced, a light tone entering his voice.

Gemini shifted back around but glared at him, her face still burning up in embarrassment. Why did he have to say that? How did he know I was embarrassed? Nevermind. It was obvious.

She settled into the chair at his desk, pulling it closer to his bedside. He rolled over onto his side. His eyes glazed over as he stared at her. Immediately, Gemini felt uncomfortable at his blatant staring. “Don’t ever die on me.”

Gemini flinched at his sudden talking. And his command. He was looking at her like she was about to die.

“I-I don’t plan on dying,” She said, taking his hand in hers and resting it in her lap.

“Promise me.”

“Valentine, I can’t promise something like that.”

“Then don’t ever sacrifice your life for mine. We both die or we both live.” Valentine squeezed her hands, as if to anchor her there.

“Please don’t think about this now. I promise that will do my best to live for you. But… try to sleep now, alright?” Gemini stroked his knuckles and fingers.

“I don’t know if I can,” Valentine muttered.

“Then make yourself fall asleep.”

“That’s not something I can do on myself,” He scoffed.

“Why not?” Gemini creased her brow.

“Because I regain magic by resting. However, I can’t make myself rest. It’s the second thing I can’t do with magic,” He explained.

“Then I’ll stay here until you fall asleep.”

Valentine nodded but he didn’t look like he believed it would work. Gemini wasn’t sure what to say or do to help him. “You need sleep and a fresh mind.” She sighed. “What would help you sleep?”

Valentine didn’t waste time thinking.

“Music. Something calming.”

Gemini instantly thought of an old song her mother always sang to her but her body fluttered with nerves. She wasn’t the best singer but she could do alright. She cleared her throat and sang a soft, slow melody.

“Transferam me ad mea

In mare, ut supra nubes.

Scio ubi me expectat

Transferam me ad mea.

In mare, ut supra nubes.

Dum dormit, somnium mihi

Et secundum esse memoriae.

Et in corde et in tota anima mea

Expectantes in diem,

Erit, rursus, cum.”

As she sang, she slowly rubbed his fingers, hoping it was a calming gesture. Gemini looked at their hands the entire time, trying not to look him and possibly distract him from falling asleep. She repeated the song several times, in case he hadn’t. Finally, she quickly glanced at his face.

His eyes were closed and lips were slightly parted. Gemini kept singing, uncertain if he was really asleep.

After singing it at least twelve times, Gemini paused to see if he woke up.

Valentine breathed heavily but didn’t move. Gently and slowly, she moved his hand back next to him, praying he was a sound sleeper. He stayed asleep.

Gemini rose from the chair slowly, walked out of his room, and closed the door as painstakingly slow as possible. She went down the hallways, back to her own room.

She couldn’t wipe the blush or the happy smile off her face.

Gemini paced around her room in circles, thinking. She gazed out her window. She was not always able to tell if it was morning or night in the Dark Lands. The sky got a little darker at night. She was sure it was morning, since she’d gotten all the rest she needed.

What do I do now? I’ll just… be myself, I suppose, and… see what happens.

Crossing her arms and leaning against a wall, she sighed. Should she start cleaning the manor like she was still a servant here? Or should she just wait until Valentine found her? Gemini decided to wait a few more minutes, just in case.

Her body lay lifelessly there. Her eyes open, not moving. Her skin growing pale.

Valentine let out a scream of anguish.

Valentine jolted awake, his heart pounding. His throat was sore and he wondered if he really did scream. He immediately glanced around him, taking in his room. He remembered what occurred last night in this room…and his nightmare.

Just a dream… it was just a dream, a figment of my wild and dark imagination.

The saddest fear came creeping into him.

What if she did die? He would barely have anyone left that he loved. And I already know that all the blood and destruction in the world will not make me feel any better.

You fool, stop thinking horrible thoughts and go see her! Don’t waste time like this, Valentine.

Shaking away his thoughts, Valentine pushed aside his sheets, getting up. He magicked his black, long-sleeved shirt back on him as he went down the halls towards Gemini room.

As he walked, Valentine remembered yesterday. Seeing Malcolm cut off her hair, poised to kill her… it brought out something deep and ugly inside him that he had never felt before.

Why does everyone attack her and not me? Cowards… they know they can’t defeat me by force. So they’re attacking the only other person I care about.

He knocked at Gemini’s door, feeling too agitated to do anything but stand there.

“Oh! Valentine.”

Valentine’s eyes flicked up. She looked surprised to see him. Was she blushing too?

“May I come in?” He asked.

“Yes, of course, um… I was just…” She trailed off as he came inside, not really needing to finish her sentence.

Glancing up at her ceiling, he noticed the orb of light still up there. Was that the first, truly kind thing he had done for her? He wrenched his mind away from the past.

There was much they needed to discuss, especially because of yesterday’s events. But Valentine really didn’t want to talk. They could have sat there in silence and he would be completely happy and content. However, it wasn’t fair of him to leave certain things unsaid.

“About yesterday…” He began. “I don’t want to go back to our original arrangement. I think you know where you stand.”

Gemini nodded, smiling faintly and continuing to blush. “And I want you to feel comfortable around me. And unafraid.” Valentine crossed his arms and leaned against the wall.

“I do too,” She agreed. “I just…”

He raised an eyebrow, his interest piqued. “I don’t always know what you like and don’t like.”

The corners of his mouth tilted up in a fond smile.

“I’m not your master anymore, Gemini. There’s no need to worry about me being upset.”

“I know but…” She seemed like she was trying to detangle her thoughts. “I want to know why. Why… well, why me?”

Valentine blinked. He hadn’t expected this. Was she doubting his feelings for her? Perhaps she was simply curious. Either way, his answer was obvious to him.

“Because you’re the only woman who has ever loved me at all.”

Gemini’s eyes widened. He felt this strange vulnerability after saying it, like he had just taken off a chunk of his armor. “You saw who I truly was. And you didn’t run away hating me.”

Her eyes start to water. She’s crying? Valentine started to walk over, to comfort her.

Gemini was wiping her tears away but when she saw him walking over--

She flinched. There was no mistaking the emotion that flickered over her eyes.

Fear.

Valentine felt like time slowed down. No… she still sees me as a monster. I’ve hurt her so many times, done horrible things in front of her eyes. Of course she’s afraid of me.

“You said you weren’t really afraid of me,” He whispered.

“I know,” She swallowed. “I’m sorry… I’m so sorry. I just… I-I’ve seen you do all these--these things. I know you’ve been so kind to me. And I know you--love me.”

Valentine smiled wryly, glancing down. “But… I can’t forget. My mind won’t let me.”

“You don’t have to forget. You can make new memories with me instead,” He said, softly.

Her liquid-brown eyes looked up at him. Any discomfort or surprise he had at his own statements were washed away. Valentine offered his hand.

She took it.

His heart filled with emotion, with feeling. It was strange. Valentine had locked this part of him away and destroyed the key. Perhaps Gemini was the exact copy of that key. Perhaps this was the beginning of her trusting him… and the beginning of something else.

“Thank you.” Her eyes were shining and this time… they weren’t full of fear.