Pregnant For My Bully
Chapter 108

Amelia Forbes

I had begun to feel sicker and sicker. I was throwing up more, stressing out more, and I felt tired all the time. In summary, I felt like crap. Nothing was comfortable anymore and I kept having recurring mood swings-laughing one minute and crying the next. Thankfully, Nana had resumed her volunteer work, so she was seldom home. Looking toward my table clock, the time showed that she would've left the house by now. Good.

I needed to eat something. But I couldn't do that if she was home. As gently as possible, I got down from my bed and bumbled into the kitchen.

After opening and closing a few drawers-not replaceing anything appetising to eat-I finally decided to go with cereal. Grabbing the biggest bowl we had, I emptied nearly half the box. It was as though I just realized how hungry I was. Popping the fridge open, I decided to go with yogurt instead of milk as I'd been craving it.

I paused as I was about to empty the yogurt into the bowl. I felt like drinking from the carton instead. So I tucked it under one arm, grabbed my bowl of cereal, and began to make my way to my room.

The sound of the front door opening stopped me dead in my tracks, and in shock I let the yogurt drop from underneath my arm, spilling it everywhere on the floor.

My breathing was ragged now. What do I do? Where do I hide?

I looked toward my bedroom, but I knew I wouldn't make it in time. So I stood there, shocked confused, not knowing what to do.

As I raced to duck back into the kitchen, Nana came into view, a sack of groceries in her hand. Confused, she looked from my sweaty face to the big bowl of cereal in my hand. As her eyes got to my stomach-which was very visible in the tank top I was putting on-the grocery sack dropped to the floor as her hands flew to her mouth in shock.

What is this? She signed, moving closer and motioning to my stomach.

Nausea ran through me and I felt bile rise in my throat. In fear, I moved backwards, shaking my head.

"I can explain, Nana. Please just let me..." I trailed off, feeling tears rush down my face.

She stared at me, and I could see the disappointment clearly written on her face. My chest was pounding. I felt tired, weak, and I wasn't sure I could take any of it anymore.

Slowly, I slumped to the floor, crying so hard I thought my heart would explode. I just wanted to be happy, to be okay. I didn't ask for any of it. I don't deserve it.

I felt Nana move closer to me. In anger she grabbed me up and made me stand upright.

Who did this to you? Her hands shook as she signed.

I wanted to respond but no sound came out.

She shook me hard as if to bring me to my senses. As I looked her in the eyes I realized I'd never seen her so angry before.

"I'm sorry," I wailed, not knowing what else to say. I wanted to sign, but my hands wouldn't cooperate.

Slowly, Nana let me drop to the floor.

I'm so disappointed in you. Your parents would be too. I thought I was bringing you up to be a responsible young woman, but apparently I'd been wrong.

As she signed, I saw teardrops fall to her cheeks.

But I was mad now. This was unfair.

I stood to my feet carefully and faced her. "Why would you say that about me? Why would you think less of me? You know I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps around so why?"

As I spoke, I signed. Yelling would help me express all the pent-up emotion.

Motioning to my stomach, I screamed, "I didn't ask for this! I don't want it, I never did." I felt a breakdown coming up but I willed myself to continue.

"I was raped, okay!"

Nana froze, her eyes widening as she shook her head repeatedly.

"Yes!" My voice broke. "I was raped by Jason, during our project. I was violated, Nana. I felt useless, filthy, I felt like trash." My voice came out as a cry.

"Some weeks after, I found out I was pregnant. I was helpless and I had no one to talk to! I didn't tell you because I wasn't sure you would believe me. You'd think I was a disgusting slut, just like everyone else. And now..."

I let out a strangled cry as I paused to wipe the torrents of tears flowing on my cheeks.

I touched my stomach. "I wanted to remove it, have an abortion. But I couldn't bring myself to do it. So I kept it a secret."

I looked up at her. "So don't think less of me, or blame me for anything. I'm the one who has to carry this burden. And I already blame myself. So don't-"

I couldn't speak anymore so I let myself slump to the floor as I broke down. I let myself cry openly. This year had been the worst in my entire life. And it was all because of one person. He ruined my life completely. I didn't deserve to live like this.

The day of the assault flashed through my head and all I could see were bloody sheets and bruised thighs. I shook feverishly as I remembered the day I'd found out I was pregnant. My breath came out in sharp gasps as I clutched the material of my joggers, willing myself to forget. Breathe, Mel. Please.

I lay in a foetal position, my hands placed firmly on my ears, trying to block out my screams from that day.

After a while, I felt Nana's warm hands wrap around me in a tight embrace.

I'm so sorry, She signed, as she pulled away from me to look me in the eyes.

Her shoulders racked with sobs as she gently wiped my face with a napkin she had procured from her bag. I pried the napkin from her fingers and began to wipe her face.

Sobbing, she embraced me once more.

After a few moments, I felt her grow limp in my arms. Quickly I withdrew from the embrace and searched her face for any strange signs. My heart began to pound. Nana had had heart issues in the past. I desperately hoped the news hadn't triggered her. As I gently helped her to her feet with the intention of helping her get on the sofa, I looked up to see Dani and Adrian standing a few feet away from us.

I felt my heart stop.

Dani's face was blank and expressionless and I couldn't tell what she was feeling. I didn't know how long they'd been standing there.

But from the alarmed look on Adrian's face, I suspected it was long enough.

Wordlessly, Adrian moved to help me place Nana on the sofa, while Dani stood in the same position, staring at my bulging stomach.