Pregnant For My Bully
Chapter 77

Amelia Forbes

I couldn't explain how I was feeling because I wasn't really sure.

Yes, I felt tired. But I also felt like someone had punched my heart out. It was like I was in this emotional phase where I was just... blank. Not happy, not sad, just existing. Letting life take me wherever it deemed fit.

I could count the amount of words that had come out of my mouth since that day. I was simply too tired to talk, too tired to be scared, too tired to care.

When I'd met Jason this morning, I thought I'd be even more scared of him than I was before. But I guess I underestimated just how numb I felt. It didn't really matter if he bullied me or called me names or beat me up. What was there to be scared of when the worst had already happened?

I didn't expect him to feel any remorse. I mean this was the same person that had blamed me for him raping me. But he acted like nothing had happened, and I could clearly see that the same event that traumatized me daily, was to him just another normal day. And as he'd already forgotten about it, I'd carry it with me for the rest of my life.

So what did I have to be scared of?

Nothing. Absolutely nothing.

That terrible reality dawning on me for the second time in three days, I shook my head and opened my locker, shoving the books I didn't need inside and grabbing the ones I needed for my next class.

As I was about to shut my locker, a figure approached me from the left. For sometime now, whenever someone approached me all of a sudden, a strange fear rumbles in my stomach, and I always feel like they're about to harm me.

But I bit back a gasp-not wanting to cause a scene in school-and turned around, recognizing the figure as Benson.

I slowly released the breath I'd been holding. Okay, it's just Benson.

Breathe, Mel. Breathe.

"Um, hey," Benson said, glancing at me and then at his scruffy shoes.

I honestly didn't have the energy to socialize. All I wanted was for everyone to just... leave me alone. I didn't feel like talking to anyone. I didn't feel like doing anything. I just wanted to sleep...

So what did I have to be scared of?

Nothing. Absolutely nothing.

"You okay?" Benson asked, after I hadn't replied for a while.

I only nodded, shutting my locker and hoping he'd see that as a sign to leave.

"Are you sure? You look so pale..." He placed a hand on my shoulder.

"Don't touch me!" I didn't mean to yell. But it just came out that way.

Luckily the hallway was nearly empty and no one was paying attention to us.

"Jeez, I'm sorry Mel," Benson whispered, a pained look on his face. "I just wanted to know how you were doing. You look so pale and tired, I just-"

"Stop, please." I didn't want to hear anymore. No one cared about me.

"Just stop, Ben. It's no use pretending like you care now. I told you it's too late for that now. Stop lying to me just to soothe your guilty heart. It's not fair." This was the longest I'd spoken in a while, and it was tiring me out.

I glanced up as Benson just as his eyes glazed over. His lower lip shook as he muttered, "I really am sorry."

I didn't want to hear anymore, so I grabbed my books and walked away.