Raven (Book One of the Dark Lycans Series)
Chapter Eighteen- A Haunting Past

I walked away from Aspen, my grin still on my face. Jinx will be the Female Beta! We will get to hang out all the time, I thought. I walked over to where I saw Blake sitting down, in a chair by the pool. He saw me, and grinned.

"What was that?" I just shook my head and sat on his lap. I heard him growl lowly and pull me to his chest. I felt sparks run across my skin where it touched his. His chest was hard, and defined. I longed to run my hands all over it.

"Turns out Jackson and Jinx are mates. And Jinx doesn't like it when people touch what's hers, so she beat the shit out of that she-wolf. I pulled her away, if I didn't Jinx probably would have killed her." I shrugged, and he laughed. It was a beautiful sound, and I wanted to hear more of it.

"She does seem to be a handful, but is a great mate for Jackson. He will quickly learn to keep his hands to himself, especially with a mate like that." We both laughed.

"Yah, I wonder what Jinx would do if she found out that the first day I met Jackson, he grabbed my ass and burned his hand. I wear silver there for a reason." I said, slapping a hand on my butt. His eyes grew dark, but then laughed when he heard that Jackson burned his hand.

"Well, I hope he learned his lesson." I nodded in agreement. I looked around and noticed that Aspen was patching up the she-wolf that Jinx had just attacked.

"Can I get a tour of the pack territory tomorrow?" Blake's eyes lit up.

"Of course. I also have to introduce you to your duties as Luna. By the way, we have been invited to go to the Moon Shadow Pack. All of the Alphas across the country have been invited, as a celebration of me replaceing my mate." I clapped my hands in delight.

"Who will be coming?"

"It is customary that the Alpha, his mate, and the Beta and his mate are present." I was excited that Jinx could go.

"What about Aspen?"

"Unfortunately, because she is a pack doctor, she will have to stay here." I nodded in acknowledgement. I suddenly remembered something.

"Wait, what pack is it?"

"The Moon Shadow Pack, with Alpha Kevin." I quickly looked away from his questioning gaze.

"Shit." I swore under my breath. I felt Blake grab my chin, and make me look at him.

"What?" I was beginning to feel uncomfortable under his intense gaze.

"I have bad history with their pack, mostly their Alpha." He raised an eyebrow, but gestured for me to continue.

"I may or may not have killed their Beta and his son, a bunch of pack warriors, the Alpha's son, and Kevin's best friend." I bit my lip, and looked away from Blake. I knew he must be disgusted with me, I do nothing but kill people. And even worse, I enjoy it.

"Why did you do it? And did you do it all on your own?" His voice was strained, I noticed. I hung my head in shame.

"I was told by the Elders to kill them, all except the Alpha's son. I had to kill him, because he would have killed me. And yes, I did it all on my own. I broke in to the pack house, I was fifteen at the time. I silently killed who I was told to, then I went to the Beta's house. I didn't expect the Alpha and his family to be there though." I shuddered at the memory. Blake's hand stroked my bare back, urging me to finish.

"I broke in through the top floor window, and killed the Beta's son. He was alone upstairs. The Alpha and his wife were in the basement, I don't know why. The Beta was talking to the Alpha's son in their kitchen. I killed the Beta when the son's back was turned. I left through the front door, but the son caught me before I could leave." I felt a tear run down my cheek, and quickly swiped it away.

"He knocked me to the ground when my back was turned. I didn't use my weapons because I wasn't supposed to kill him. I fought him hard, until he had me pinned against the wall, his hand around my throat. I had no choice but to use my dagger and kill him. When he fell to the ground, I saw his parents standing and watching. They saw me kill him, and they saw me run. I ran through the window, and managed to escape without getting caught. Their son I found out was 16." Tears were now streaming down my face. Blake pulled me tight against him, and his hand stroked my hair.

"That was before you shifted into your wolf wasn't it?" I nodded.

"I stopped killing innocent wolves after I shifted. I only killed them if they deserved it. Otherwise I just made sure it only seemed like they were killed." I suddenly remembered all of the times I helped wolves stay off the grid, and pretend they were dead.

"Well, I don't know what to do, we still have to go. They're expecting us." I didn't know what to do either. Blake looked so crestfallen, and confused.

"What is your relation with Kevin?" He wouldn't look this bad if he was just another fellow Alpha. There was some other connection.

"Alpha Kevin, he ... uh... He is my uncle." I jumped off Blakes lap and turned away from him. Tears once again falling down my face. I was devastated. I was regretful of what I did, and now I replace out that it was his cousin I killed. Now I understand why his jaw was clenched and his face tight, the whole time I was talking.

"Oh my god, I can't do this. I can't live with you, knowing that I killed your cousin. That I killed your uncle's best friend. I just can't." I declared. I took one last look at Blake before running. I ran up to our room in seconds. Grabbing my bag of weapons, and making it to the garage seconds before Blake. I got on my motorcycle, my bag strapped across my back. I threw on my leather jacket, and started the engine. I put on my helmet, and undid the kickstand.

Blake ran in front of the bike, right before I was about to take off.

"Where are you going? Don't you dare leave me!" He yelled over the noise of the engine. I shook my head at him, my face still wet.

"I'm sorry Blake, but I can't live with this. I am strong, but I can't go on knowing that I hurt my own mate. And I will probably end up doing it again. I can't help it, I have a craving for blood, and it will never go away. I'm so sorry." I felt wetness on my cheeks, but didn't wipe it off. I sped off on my bike, narrowly missing him. I heard him yell something, but I couldn't hear him.

I turned and saw his wolf racing behind me. I put my bike at full speed, and raced down the road. I didn't stop until I was miles out of pack territory, and sure that I lost Blake.

I then rode to Jinx's shop, and parked my bike inside, I had used a spare key I got a long time ago. I locked up the doors, and walked towards the woods. I set down my bag, and took off the bikini I was still wearing. I put it in the bag, and shifted into my wolf.

Familiar black fur covered my paws, and I reached down to pick up my bag. It was very light, and I could easily carry it in my mouth. I took off towards the only place I could think of.

My old friend, Lilliana.