Reckless Regrets
Chapter 19

Kade

“Where are you? I swear if you’re discussing all this s**t in the packhouse, you’ll never get your title back when you come home,” Xander stated.

“How stupid do you think I am? I left; I told Thorne that I wanted to go for a drive. He gladly gave me access to his cars, and I’m off in some random parking lot outside of the city.”

“I taught you well. So, there’s good news and bad news. What do you want first?”

“Hit me with the bad.”

“You still can’t come home. This is not enough.”

I couldn’t have been hearing him straight. I had everything we needed. What else was there?

“How? This is exactly what you asked for when I came. I don’t understand.”

“Marisol has admitted that she has a mate, but she’s still not marked. And we don’t have the test that we ran back yet, thus no unequivocal proof that you are not Cameron’s father. Until one of those things happen, we need to keep up the illusion. I like to make sure I cover all my bases.”

I sighed and g*****d out loud.

“So, what’s the good news then?”

“First of all, you’re on the right track. I didn’t expect Thorne to be behind all this or for you to get Marisol of all people to be your informant. If you’re working with her now, it means you two can at least get along, and you won’t be so miserable. And she’ll stop trying to seduce you.”

“That is good news. And I never thought about it that way. Plus, Thorne thinks Marisol and I are getting along now because I’ve finally come to terms with the marriage, so he won’t be suspicious if we’re having quiet conversations together.”

“Exactly. And the second piece of good news, Taylor spoke to Morgan.”

“What the hell? Why didn’t you lead with that? Is she alright? Where is she?”

“From what I was told, she’s fine, but she wouldn’t say where she was, and she doesn’t want to come home. She blames Matt and Taylor for taking your positions and pushing her out. She says it wasn’t their best conversation.”

I sat on the hood of the truck and thought over what I’d just heard.

This wasn’t like my Sugar Bear. She was a lover, and next to me, there was no one in the world she loved more than Taylor. They were sisters in every way except by b***d. Why would she say those things? This had me worried that something may be wrong. Actions spoke louder than words, and her blaming two innocent people for the restructuring was not the actions of an alright person.

“Can you try to replace her? Maybe Tyson may know a way to figure out where she is? I just need someone to place eyes on her and make sure.”

“After Taylor got off the call, she asked Tyson to look into it. No husband can deny their wife, so he’s on the case.”

I breathed a sigh of relief. Those two were family, so I had every confidence that he would figure out what was going on.

“Thank you for letting me know.”

“Anytime. We’re almost there, just play the role, man. And see if you can get Marisol to get some hardcore proof that Thorne set all this up. That will go a long way when I walk in there and take all his shit.”

“I’ve got you. I’ll give you a call in a few days, letting you know what I’ve found. But let me know the minute you get any new info on Morgan. Please.”

“Of course.”

We hung up the call, and I even thought plenty of things were going my way now, I was worried. After mulling it all over for a few nerve-wracking minutes, I sent Morgan another text message that I was sure would go unanswered.

Whatever you feel, just know that I feel it as well; probably more since all this is my fault. Stay strong for me, Sugar Bear, and believe that whatever I have to do, I’ll do without question if it will get me back home to you. XOXO

I wanted nothing more than to tell her that everything was a lie and that I wasn’t being forced to marry someone else or become Alpha. But even with the link to the pack severed, I was still loyal to Xander; that would never change. He wanted this all kept under wraps, and I was going to do just that.

I just prayed that Morgan would be alright in the meantime.

***

Morgan

“You look like s**t Morgan. And when is the last time you showered?”

“Go away! I don’t care how I look, who do I have to get cute for? No one!”

I’d never been more serious in my life. Comb my hair? For what? Get dressed? What was wrong with worn-out unicorn pajamas? This was my life now, and I didn’t see a reason to change.

“I’m doing you a favor letting you stay here; the least you can do is get up at a decent hour and straighten up the living room. It looks like a horror movie in here. And what the f**k is that smell?”

“Old Chinese probably,” I casually replied.

“I know you are dealing with your fair share of grief but don’t treat me and my things like this. It’s not cool, and it’s unfair to me; Mom raised us both better than that.”

I picked up my bag of Hot Cheetos and loudly crunched one while staring him in the eyes. This wasn’t the response he was going for, so Mitchell walked out of the room, mumbling under his breath, leaving me to assume that this was the end of the discussion.

I pressed play on the TV and went back to some sappy Lifetime movie. This wasn’t real life, at all. Real life was hard and ugly, and it sucked. It hurt. Sure, the whole “Boy meets girl, boy falls in love with girl, then marriage and kids” thing happened for some people, but not all of us. For once, I wanted to see a movie that showed the other side of things.

The pain of losing and never getting it back. The feeling of despair so deep that no one could pull you out of it. Yeah, write something real like that Lifetime. I must have drifted to sleep at some point because I woke up to the feeling of being carried. Where the f**k was my brother taking me?

When I opened my eyes, I looked up into the extremely pissed off face of Tyson.

“What the hell?”

My question was cut short by him walking to the shower that Mitchell held open and forcing me in. In my damned pajamas.

“Argh! What is wrong with you two? And why are you here?!” I yelled, pointing at Tyson.

“You made my wife cry. Did you know that?”

Hearing those words broke my heart. I never wanted to hurt Taylor. She was my rock.

“No, I didn’t know.”

The water beat down on my head, but I couldn’t move. I was hurting for the way I treated her.

“She cried for hours because you blamed her for something she had zero to do with. If you didn’t mean so much to her, I would have found a way to take you out, family or not.”

I nodded. I deserved this.

“So, what am I doing here, you ask? I’m here because even though you broke her heart, she still loves you and wanted to be sure you were alright. She asked me to replace you. And Mitch was all too happy to give you up.”

I cut my eyes at my traitorous brother, who stood by the shower door with a smug look on his face—showing no regret at all. f**k head.

“Well, you’ve found me, and I’m fine. I’ll FaceTime Tay in a little bit to apologize. Are you happy now? Can you leave me the hell alone?”

“Don’t talk to me like that, Morgan. You don’t know what it did to all of us to lose both you and Kade like that. It was selfish of you to leave and think that some letters would be enough to explain yourself. We’re family, and we deserved better.”

I’d had enough of this. Everyone kept telling me how I needed to think of everyone else. But who was thinking about me? It felt like no one understood what I was dealing with, and it infuriated me. I cut the shower off and snatched a nearby towel.

“You guys deserved better? Seriously? I deserved better! I was stripped of my position without any regard for me. Left with nothing, did I deserve that?”

“Xander planned to make you Gamma female. Taylor couldn’t hold both roles, but as the wife of the new Beta and Gamma, she held a higher rank. You weren’t being cut out or cut off, just repositioned.”

“Don’t lie to me. Alaia told me-”

“Alaia is the Luna, but she doesn’t call the shots. Xander does, and this was his plan. You left before he could make it official, leaving Taylor to pick up the slack; then, you blamed her!”

My head was reeling, and I felt like the room was spinning. Maybe I’d acted too hastily. But I still didn’t think I could have stayed there with the memories of Kade haunting every hall. I placed my one hand against the shower wall to steady myself and held on to my dripping wet head.

“Morgan? Are you alright? What’s going on?” Mitchell reached for me and asked.

I swatted him away then blew the hell up.

“I’m f*****g pregnant, that’s what’s going on! A conditioning mask? I don’t even know what the hell that means. And hell yeah, my freckles are dark, I’ve never seen them like this. I’m sick, tired, moody, sore, and pregnant; that’s what is going on! Now you know; feel free to hit me with the ‘I told you so.’”

Tyson grabbed a robe from behind the door and shoved me into it.

“f**k, Mo! Why didn’t you say anything? And you’re standing here soaking wet just asking to get sick.”

“I wouldn’t be wet if it wasn’t for you assholes,” I replied.

“Have you told him?” Mitchell asked.

I knew someone would ask. And they’d hate the answer, but it was my decision.

“No. And I’m not going to. Kade has a child in Oregon, and soon he’ll have a wife. He doesn’t need me tethering him to his past,” I firmly stated.

“You can’t be serious right now. Kade has the right to know. You’re his world, and you’re going to have his child. Why would you keep that from him?” Tyson asked.

“It’s for the best; it will only hurt him. And besides, I’m not going to have his child. I’m not going through with the pregnancy.”

***

I don’t think I have ever seen Mitchell or Tyson so pissed off in my life! And I’d done some pretty foul s**t to them when we were kids in the name of fun. As soon as the words left my mouth, Tyson’s eyes glowed a bright golden color, and for a moment, I was afraid that he would shift and attack me. Luckily, he restrained himself and pulled out his phone instead.

“Who are you calling? This isn’t anyone’s business but mine,” I stated.

He ignored my question and turned his back, walking out.

“Go put some clean, dry clothes on, and I’ll cook you something to eat. I’m going to assume that the stupid s**t that just came out of your mouth was due to hunger and nothing else.”

Before I could respond, he left the bathroom, and I soon heard pots and pans banging in the kitchen. A few moments later, Tyson came back and passed me his phone. When I saw the screen, my heart stopped. Why did he call her?

“Either you take this phone and talk to her, or I’m calling Kade and telling him what’s going on. It’s your choice.”

I snatched the phone from his hand and put it to my ear.

“Hey, Tay.” I heard her sniffling on the other end, making my own tears begin to flow.

“Why would you do this? Why would you get rid that baby; it’s a part of you both, and it was made in love.”

“That’s exactly why. I miss Kade so much. And now I’ll have to live the rest of my life kissing and wiping a face that looks just like his but isn’t. And why does Marisol’s child deserve its father around, but mine doesn’t? It’s not fair, and I refuse to do it.”

“I have no right to tell you what to do here; it’s your choice and nobody else’s. But I can promise you, without a doubt in my mind, that if you go through with this, you will regret it for the rest of your life. We both know how you look and the other babies, and we know how much you’ve wanted one of your own. That baby is a gift and a miracle, and you’d be a fool to throw it away.”

After a few seconds, where the only sounds were of the two of us crying, Taylor finally spoke up.

“Please tell Mitchell to take good care of you. Even though I know where you are now, I won’t come and force you to come home or anything else. Take the time to figure this all out, and when you need me, I’ll be right there.”

She hung up the call, and it was at that moment that I felt a chill and realized I was still in wet clothes. I stripped out of them, pulled on another robe, and tied it tight before walking back to the living room. Tyson had a giant plastic bag and was cleaning up all my junk from the past few days, including my freshly opened Cheetos.

“Before you say anything, I had to call her. There is no way that she would have ever forgiven me if I knew something like this and didn’t tell her. I love my wife more than anything; I can’t hurt her like that.”

“I know, and I get it.”

I walked to my purse and pulled out my phone then sat on the couch while the guys continued to cook and clean. I would have offered to help, but knowing them, they wouldn’t have let me anyway.

I saw all of the messages Kade had been sending, and it made me feel warm all over. He missed me too. But it was all for nothing. I steeled my courage and pressed the screen to initiate a FaceTime call. I needed to tell him about this child and my decision. He deserved that, and it would be the last thing I would do for him before we went our separate ways forever. I held my breath and waited, silently praying that he wouldn’t answer.

But when his face filled the screen, and my lonely eyes took him all in, I fell in love all over again.

“Sugar Bear!”

I didn’t respond. I couldn’t replace my voice and didn’t know how I could break his heart.

“Please tell me you’re okay. I’ve been so worried.”

“I’m fine,” I finally croaked.

He sighed and just looked at me. This man was so gorgeous, but he wasn’t mine anymore. It was time to rip the Band-Aid off.

“Kade, I’m pregnant.”

Hearing those words made him smile bigger than I’d ever seen, and it was a knife to the heart. I needed to let him down. Now.

“I love you so much, and I promise we will make this work,” he said.

“We won’t, because I’m having an abortion.”