Refuge (Relentless Book 2)
Refuge: Chapter 17

I STRETCHED AND did my warm-up while I waited for Callum in his usual training room. After the last two days, I had a lot of restless energy stored up and I was looking forward to burning it off. If there was one thing I could count on Callum for, it was to work the hell out of me. Today I was going to ask him if he could start teaching me some kicks and punches. My Mori strength would be a lot more effective once I learned how to channel it properly.

When the door opened, I turned to greet my trainer and my smile faltered when Nikolas, not Callum, entered the room. Seeing him so unexpectedly for the first time since the night of the party, my stomach fluttered and my heart sped up. His closed expression made it impossible to tell what he was thinking or feeling.

“I’m waiting for Callum,” I said lamely.

He shut the door. “Callum and I talked, and we agreed that I will continue to train you.” The determined set of his jaw when he faced me again made me look at the door and think of escape.

“I didn’t agree to that. I’d rather work with – ” I broke off and took a step back when he moved forward.

He stopped and regret flashed in his eyes. “Don’t do that. I would never hurt you.”

“I know.” Things might be weird between us, but I would never let him believe I was afraid of him. “I just think it would be best if I trained with some other people.”

“No one here can teach you anything I can’t.”

I didn’t respond because I knew he was right. I couldn’t tell him that what I really needed was to work with someone who didn’t tie my stomach in knots and make me so confused I couldn’t think straight.

He ran a hand through his dark hair. “We both know what this is about.”

“I don’t want to talk about it.”

“We have to talk about it sometime,” he said in an infuriatingly calm voice. How could he be so composed when I was a nervous wreck?

“But not now.” My eyes pleaded with him as I fought to hide my panic. “Please.”

He exhaled slowly. “Let’s train then.”

“Okay.” If I had to train with him, I would, but I couldn’t deal with more than that. Not yet.

“What do you want to work on?” he asked, and I was surprised he was going to let me choose.

“I want you to teach me how to fight. I can have all the demon strength I want, but it’s totally useless if I don’t even know how to throw a punch correctly.”

He started to shake his head, but I cut him off before he could argue. “Listen, I have to learn to protect myself. I’m supposed to train to be a warrior, right? If you’re going to get mad every time I mention it, this is not going to work. I’d rather not waste my time.”

“You need to condition your body and spend more time getting used to working with your demon before you learn fighting techniques.”

I shrugged. “Can’t I do both? The bad guys aren’t going to wait for me to catch up with everyone else. Couldn’t I learn some moves and do that other stuff at the same time?”

A muscle in his jaw twitched, and I groaned, “See, there you go again. Callum wouldn’t think twice about teaching me to fight. He’d have no problem giving me a few bruises and throwing me across a room.”

“He throws you around?”

“Gah!” I threw up my hands and headed for the door.

“I’ll teach you a few strikes and blocks, and then we will put you through a workout to see how much work we have to do. We’ll spend time on your fighting technique and your workouts every day. Once you have mastered the basics, we’ll move on to more difficult moves.” He walked to the center of the room and motioned for me to join him.

I hesitated for a moment before I went to stand before him. Being this close to him made me more than a little jittery, not out of fear but out of a deeper awareness of him. I took a steadying breath and tried to focus on what he was saying and not our complicated relationship. It was the only way I was going to get through this.

“The only rule you need to understand about combat is that there are no rules. We fight to neutralize a threat and to survive, and we do whatever is necessary to win. We use techniques from almost every martial art, and combined with our strength and speed, we can turn our bodies into weapons.”

“It sounds like Krav Maga,” I said, intrigued and nervous at the same time. “My friend, Greg, used to talk about wanting to learn it.”

He gave a small smile for the first time since entering the room. “Where do you think the principles of Krav Maga originated?”

“Oh.”

“In a fight, you have to be on the offensive at all times. You never stop moving and every movement counts. You never give your opponent an opening. To do this, you must master every possible strike, every hold and block, until you can do them as naturally as breathing. There is no room for hesitation when you are facing an opponent who is faster and stronger than you. You fight dirty because they will. And remember, a vampire is strong but the body still has human weaknesses. A well-aimed punch or kick to the groin hurts them, too.”

I nodded, thinking about how fast he had moved when he fought and killed three vampires at once. His movements had looked so effortless, almost like a dance. “Where do we start?”

“The first strike we’re going to work on is the straight punch. There are two types of straight punches.” He demonstrated punching with his fist and then with the heel of his hand, and his movements were so fast I could barely make them out. He repeated the strikes several times, but much slower, each time explaining how to stand, how to hold my shoulders, my head, and my arms. Then he stepped back. “Show me what I did.”

I positioned my body like he had instructed and punched the air with my fist. Then I repeated the action with my open hand. My movements were slow and sloppy compared to his, but that didn’t bother me because I knew that, starting from this moment, everything I learned would make me a better fighter.

Nikolas’s face was impassive, his words matter-of-fact as he explained what I had done wrong. When he came to stand beside me and show me how to stand correctly, I was able to concentrate on his instructions despite the slight tremble in my body. If he felt it when he used his hands to position my shoulders and arms, he did not show it. His candid, almost detached manner made it easier for me to put aside everything else between us, at least for the moment, and focus on training.

After I’d done countless air punches to his satisfaction, he stood in front of me. “Hit me.”

“What?”

“Strike me.”

I frowned. “I’m not going to hit you.”

One corner of his mouth lifted. “Trust me, you won’t hurt me.”

“But – ”

“If you want to learn to fight, you’ll have to get used to hitting people.” He raised his hands in front of his chest, palms toward me. “Now hit me.”

“Don’t temp me,” I muttered. I got into position and struck out with my right hand. It hit his open hands with a small smacking sound.

“Shoulders forward. Now hit me again.”

My fist tapped his palm a second time.

“Relax those arms. Again.”

Over and over, he had me strike at him as he barked instructions like a drill sergeant. First we practiced my right arm, and when he was finally satisfied, he made me start the same drills with my left one. I lost count of the number of punches I threw, but I was sweating and my arms ached by the time he put his hands down and told me to take a short breather.

Barely five minutes passed before he handed me a set of dumbbells. “Now we work on strength training and conditioning. We’ll stop when you can’t go anymore.” I narrowed my eyes at his barely concealed smirk. He was enjoying this.

Two hours later, I dropped the skipping rope in my hand and leaned, panting, against the wall. It was all I could do not to face-plant on one of the exercise mats, and the only thing that kept me upright was my determination not to collapse and concede defeat to Nikolas.

He picked up the rope and hung it on a hook. “Ready to call it quits for today?”

“No, just catching my breath.” I stepped away from the wall and my exhausted legs quivered, but I stayed on my feet. “What’s next?”

Admiration flashed in his eyes, and I felt a ridiculous burst of pleasure. He had pushed me hard for hours, and I think we were both surprised I was still on my feet.

He turned away and began stacking weights on the rack in the corner. “I think that’s enough for now. You don’t want to overdo it in your first session.”

“Okay.” I was not going to argue with him. I’d proven myself, and now the healing baths called to me like a siren’s song. I couldn’t believe I’d thought Callum’s lessons were tough. I would be lucky to walk tomorrow . . . if I didn’t fall asleep in the bath and drown myself.

“Tomorrow we’ll start working with the bag,” he said as if it was some kind of reward.

Holding back a groan, I opened the door. “Yay.”

I could have sworn I heard a soft laugh as the door shut behind me.

* * *

“Hey, Sara, mind if I sit with you?”

“Huh?” My head jerked up from where it had been resting on my hand, and I squinted at the blond boy standing in front of me holding a lunch tray. “Oh, hi, Michael. Sure, have a seat.”

I sat up straighter and surreptitiously wiped my chin in case I’d drooled when I dozed off. A quick glance around the room assured me that Nikolas was not there to see me falling asleep over my lunch. Not even a long soak in the baths had helped me after training with him all morning.

“Thanks.” Michael sat across from me and started eating his sandwich. After a few bites, he laid it down and pressed his lips together like he wanted to say something. I didn’t press him because I figured he would spit it out if he wanted to.

“I heard what happened in town,” he said at last. “Everyone’s been talking about it. Did you and Jordan really kill three vamps all by yourselves?”

“Yes, but they were baby vamps and Jordan took out two of them.” I told him the story although I knew he’d heard Jordan’s version already.

His blue eyes shone with excitement. “Wow! That’s totally awesome.”

I couldn’t help but smile. “Yep, I guess it was.”

“I’m glad you’re okay.” He picked at his food. “You didn’t come down at all yesterday, and I wondered how you were doing.”

“I was just chilling.” Michael was way too sweet to be a warrior. He should be a healer or something like that because I could not picture him killing anything, not even a vampire.

He nodded and took another bite of sandwich, chewing slowly before he spoke again. “Can I ask you, is it true about you and Nikolas?” As soon as the question was out, his face reddened. “Sorry. I know it’s none of my business.”

“No, it’s okay. It’s not like it’s a big secret.” I refrained from sighing because I knew I was going to have to face the questions and comments sometime.

“You don’t look happy about it.”

I took a sip from my room temperature water and wrinkled my nose. “I’m just getting used to it all, I guess. It was a bit of a shock, and I’m not sure what’s going to happen now.”

“You guys argue a lot,” he stated artlessly, and I heard the question behind his words.

I lifted a shoulder. “Well, I guess it wouldn’t be boring.”

“It’s crazy that the first Mohiri you met was your mate, and it’s Nikolas Danshov of all people. People go ages without replaceing one and you’re not even eighteen.”

“We’re not mates yet,” I said absently, my mind still trying to process the thought of a life with Nikolas. It was hard to focus when my stomach got all fluttery every time I thought about him.

“They say it hurts at first if you reject a mating bond, but it gets better.”

“What?” My mind came out of its fog. “What do you mean?”

Michael looked unfazed by my abruptness. “You said it wasn’t final, so I figured you were thinking about breaking the bond. I just meant that Nikolas would be okay if you did.”

“That’s good to know.” Michael idolized Nikolas so it made sense he was concerned about Nikolas’s welfare. Still, I was uncomfortable having a conversation about something so deeply personal. I cast about for something else to talk about. “So, do they make a big deal about Thanksgiving here? I’m looking forward to turkey and stuffing next week. And my uncle, Nate, is coming to spend the holiday.”

I wanted to kick myself when I saw the fleeting sadness in his eyes. How could I be so insensitive, knowing that he spent half his time searching for a brother who had to be dead? Thanksgiving must be very difficult for someone who missed his family so much that he could not accept they were gone. If anyone should understand the need to hold onto the past, it was me. I also knew when it was time to let go.

“Michael, I know you’re still looking for your brother,” I started, and he seemed to recoil from me. “No, wait,” I said when he pushed his chair back. “I just wanted to offer my help.” That stopped him, and he stared at me like he didn’t know if I was being sincere or not. I took his hesitation as a good sign and plunged forward. “I never told you about my dad, did I?”

“Your father?” He shook his head and continued to stare at me like he was trying to figure out my angle.

I lowered my voice so no one else in the dining room could overhear me. It also forced him to move closer. “When I was eight, my dad was murdered by vampires.” I swallowed the small lump that always formed when I spoke about my past. “I didn’t replace out until a year later that it was vampires who killed him.”

“What does that have to do with my brother? Your father is dead, and Matthew is still alive.”

“Let me finish. I knew my dad was dead, but I couldn’t understand why vampires would go after him. I spent years trying to replace answers, and I got a bit obsessed about it. It almost got me killed. But during the years I was looking, I made a lot of contacts online, people who know things. What I’m trying to say is that I know people out there who might be able to help you. I even know a hacker and a few guys who deal in the underworld black market. If anyone can help us replace Mathew, it’s them. If they can’t replace any sign of him, then he is nowhere to be found.” I had no hope of replaceing his brother, but maybe what Michael needed was for someone else to tell him Matthew was dead before he would finally accept it.

The wariness left his face, and in its place I saw a vulnerable little boy who just wanted someone to tell him things would be okay. “You’d do that for me?”

“Of course, what are friends for?”

He fiddled with his napkin, but his eyes shone with conviction. “Everyone thinks I’m crazy, but I know Matthew is alive. I’d feel it if he was dead.”

My chest squeezed when I thought about the pain Michael was going to suffer when he finally had to accept that his brother was gone. “There’s something else you need to think about. Even if we do replace Matthew, he might not be the same. It’s very likely he ended up like the other orphans that weren’t found in time.”

“You didn’t,” he said brightly as if he’d already thought about that possibility.

I didn’t respond because I could not tell him the truth about me, and why I was different from other orphans. If by some miracle Matthew was still alive, his demon had driven him mad by now. I didn’t know what would be worse: replaceing out your brother is dead or replaceing out that he is insane and beyond help. It was obvious that Michael was not ready to deal with either of those outcomes, so I decided to keep those thoughts to myself.

The conversation turned to training after that, and Michael wanted to know all about training with Nikolas. It occurred to me that what he and the other trainees needed to cure them of their hero worship of Nikolas was a couple of days training under him. I’d love to see how they handled his boot-camp style workout. If I wasn’t so tired, I would have laughed at the idea.

* * *

“I can’t believe you knew about it, too, and you didn’t tell me. Was I the last person to replace out?”

“It was not my place to tell you, little one. The mating bond is a very intimate experience between two people, and one does not interfere in such matters.”

I scowled at Desmund over our game of checkers. “How did you know anyway? Did Tristan tell you?”

“Of course not. Tristan would not share something so private.” He gave me a look of mild reproof. “I knew when you told me Nikolas went into a rage once when you were hurt. I must say it took me by surprise at first.”

“You’re not the only one.” I captured one of his pieces, and he swiftly retaliated by taking two of mine. “We have to be the worst match in Mohiri history. Half the time we don’t even get along.”

“You both have strong personalities. You will be a worthy mate for him because you will challenge him.” His eyes sparkled mischievously. “At the very least, it will be entertaining for the rest of us.”

I scowled at the board. “I hate to kill your fun, but I don’t even know if that’s what I want.”

He leaned forward. “Really? What does Nikolas think of that?”

“We haven’t talked about it. I told him I’ll train with him, but I am not ready to talk about any of this. I’m still upset with him and Tristan for letting me replace out the way I did.”

“Yes, I can imagine that was something of a shock. But don’t be too hard on him. I dare say this has not been easy for him either.”

“I thought you didn’t like him. Now you are defending him?”

Desmund winked. “How can I not defend a man who has the good sense to care about you?”

“You are such a sweet talker,” I scolded, and he gave me a look of mock innocence. “I certainly know how to pick my friends.”

His hand stopped in mid-air over the board, and his expression was indecipherable. “Friends?”

“Of course. We are, aren’t we?” I asked before I stopped to think. Desmund was eccentric and suffering from a long mental illness. He had come a long way in the time I’d known him, but it was still hard to know how he would react to a situation. It was possible he did not want a friend, as strange as that sounded.

A smile lit up his face. “Most definitely.”

“Good.” I looked down at my decimated checkers. “I’d hate to see how hard you would play someone who wasn’t your friend.” At his innocent look I laughed. “Don’t think I don’t know you go easy on me.”

He shrugged, and I knew he would never admit to it. “Did I tell you my uncle, Nate, is coming next week to spend Thanksgiving?”

“You must be excited to see him.”

“I can’t wait. He’s staying for a whole week.” The thought of seeing Nate every day for a week made me almost giddy. I couldn’t wait to show him around and introduce him to everyone. Just picturing his expression when he saw Alex and Minuet made me grin.

“I have never seen you look this happy,” Desmund said. “Your uncle must be a good man.”

“He is. I hope . . . ” I hesitated, not sure how to say what I wanted to say to him. “I’d like for you to meet him . . . if you want to, that is.”

“I’d be honored.” His smile changed to a playful smirk. “How often do you introduce young men to your uncle?”

I let out a snort. “Young? Didn’t you tell me that you and Tchaikovsky were friends?”

He touched his chin. “Hmmm, so you think your uncle will have a problem with the age difference?”

“Age difference?” My mouth fell open, and I stared at him. Did he mean . . . ? I thought about his reaction a few minutes ago when I said he was a friend. Did Desmund feel something more than friendship for me? But he’d just told me I’d make a good mate for Nikolas. Was he saying that just to be nice?

“Is something wrong?”

I rubbed my suddenly sweaty palms against my thighs. “Desmund, you know that we are only friends, right? I mean, I like you, but I can’t – ”

His burst of laughter cut me off and made me forget whatever it was I had been about to say. It was the first time I’d ever heard him laugh this hard, and I had no idea what had set him off. I didn’t know whether to be worried or relieved.

It took him a minute to compose himself. He wiped his eyes. “You are an absolute delight. I have not enjoyed myself this much in a very long time.”

“What’s so funny?” I asked, starting to feel a little insulted.

He smiled affectionately. “If I was going to fall for a young lady, you would be at the top of my list. In fact, you would be the list. But alas, you and I have too much in common for that to ever happen.”

“I don’t understand.”

“That is one of your most endearing qualities, little one.” He stunned me by leaning across the small table and kissing my forehead. “And if you were a man, I would fall madly in love with you this instant.”

If I was a . . . oh. “Oh!”

“Let’s just say I did not spend time with Pyotr Tchaikovsky for his musical genius alone.”

Heat flooded my face. I couldn’t believe I’d suggested Desmund had a thing for me. God I was such a moron. I had always been stupid when it came to guys, but this took the cake.

“I did not mean to make you uncomfortable.”

I gave him a reassuring smile. “It’s not you. I just can’t believe what an idiot I am sometimes.”

He shook his head. “I replace your innocence charming.”

“That’s because you are a gentleman,” I replied, feeling a little less embarrassed.

“And because I am a gentleman I am very glad I am not enamored of you.”

My eyebrows rose. “Why?”

He chuckled. “Because then I would have to fight Nikolas Danshov for you and I like my head right where it is.”