Reminders of Him: A Novel
Reminders of Him: Chapter 30

I’m in my office processing payroll, processing my thoughts, processing all the mistakes I’ve made in the last few weeks.

Roman was right when he said I could have paid her off if I really wanted her to leave. Maybe I should have, because the more I’m around her, the more false hope I’m giving her.

The Landrys won’t come around to the idea of accepting her anytime soon. And if she stays here and continues to work, it’s putting us both at risk of getting caught.

I don’t know what I was thinking hiring her in the first place. I thought she could hide out in the back, but Kenna isn’t the kind of girl you can hide. She stands out. Someone will notice her. Someone will recognize her.

And then we’ll both feel the consequences of this lie.

I take out my phone and text Kenna. Come to my office when you have a second.

I stand up and pace for the entire thirty seconds it takes her to make her way back to my office. I close the door behind her and then walk over to my desk and sit on the edge of it.

She stands near the door, and her arms are folded. She looks nervous. I don’t mean to make her nervous. I point to the chair in front of me, and she walks hesitantly toward it and then sits.

“I feel like I’m in trouble,” she says.

“You aren’t in trouble. I just . . . I’ve been thinking. About what you overheard Roman say. And I feel like I should let you know that you don’t have to come to work anymore.”

She looks surprised. “Am I being fired?”

“No. Of course not.” I inhale a breath in preparation for the honesty I’m about to spill. “We both know I hired you for selfish reasons, Kenna. If you ever get to the point where you want to leave town and you need money, all you have to do is ask. You don’t have to work for it.”

She’s looking at me like I’ve just punched her in the gut. She stands up and starts pacing while she processes this conversation. “Do you want me to leave town?”

Fuck. I brought her in here to try to make her life easier, but I’m saying everything wrong. I shake my head. “No.” I reach out and encircle her wrist with my fingers to stop her from pacing.

“Then why are you telling me this?”

I could give her several reasons. Because you need to know you have options. Because if you stay here, someone will eventually recognize you. Because if we keep working together, we’ll shatter whatever is left of our flimsy boundary.

I don’t say any of those things, though. I just look at her pointedly while I run my thumb across her wrist. “You know why.”

Her chest rises and falls with her sigh.

But then she jerks her hand from mine at the sudden knock on my office door. I immediately stand up straight, and Kenna folds her arms over her chest. Our reactions make us look really guilty right now.

Mary Anne is standing in the doorway looking back and forth between us. She grins and says, “What did I just interrupt? An employee evaluation?”

I walk around my desk and pretend to be occupied by my computer screen. “What do you need, Mary Anne?”

“Well. This suddenly feels like the wrong moment to mention this, but Leah’s here. The woman you were supposed to marry today? She’s out front asking for you.”

It takes everything in me not to look at Kenna to see how she reacted to that. Somehow I manage to stay focused on Mary Anne. “Tell her I’ll be right out.”

Mary Anne backs away from the door, but she leaves it open. Kenna immediately follows her out without looking back at me.

I’m confused, because why would Leah be here? What could she possibly want? Is she having more of a reaction to what today was supposed to be than I am?

Because I’ve hardly thought about it. I think that proves it was the right decision. For me, at least.

I walk out of my office, but I have to pass by Kenna on my way to the front. We make two seconds of eye contact before she looks away.

I exit the kitchen and look around the room, but I don’t immediately spot Leah. It’s a lot more crowded now than when I went to my office to do payroll, so I glance around for a moment before making my way behind the bar. Mary Anne is at the other end of the room, so I can’t ask her where Leah went.

Roman sees me and points at a group of guys. “I haven’t taken their order yet.”

“Where’s Leah?”

Roman looks confused. “Leah? What?”

Mary Anne is walking toward me. She grins and leans over the bar when she reaches me. “Roman was getting swamped, so he asked me to grab you. I was kidding about Leah. I was just trying to build some angst for you because girls love angst. You’re welcome.” She picks up a tray full of drinks and glides over to a table to deliver them.

I shake my head in confusion. I’m irritated she lied, because now Kenna’s mind is probably going in a thousand different directions. But I’m also relieved she lied. I didn’t want to see Leah.

I stay and take a few orders and close out three tabs, but as soon as Roman is caught up, I head to the back. Kenna isn’t in the kitchen. I look around for her, but Aaron motions toward the back door to let me know she’s on break.

When I push open the door to the alley, I replace Kenna leaning against the building with her arms folded over her chest. She looks up at me as soon as I walk outside, and I can see the immediate relief wash over her.

She was jealous. She tries to hide it by forcing a smile, but I saw the look on her face before she shoved it away.

I walk over to her and mimic her position against the wall. “Mary Anne was lying. Leah wasn’t here; she made that up.”

She narrows her eyes in confusion. “Why would she . . .” Kenna stops talking, and a small smile spreads across her lips. “Wow. Mary Anne is messy.” She doesn’t seem angry that Mary Anne lied. She appears impressed.

Her smile makes me smile, and then I say, “You were jealous.”

Kenna rolls her eyes. “I was not.”

“You were.”

She pushes off the wall and heads for the stairs, but she pauses right in front of me. She faces me, and I can’t tell what her expression means.

I don’t know what she’s about to do, but if she tried to kiss me, it would make my fucking night. I’m tired of the back-and-forth with her. I’m tired of hiding her. I’d give anything to be able to get to know her better without worrying about consequences, to be able to ask her questions that have nothing to do with Scotty or the Landrys. I want to openly kiss her, I want to take her home with me, I want to know what it’s like to fall asleep next to her and wake up next to her.

I fucking like her, and the more I’m around her, the more I don’t want to be apart from her.

“I’m putting in my two-week notice,” she says.

Shit. I chew on my lip until I’m positive I won’t drop to my knees and beg her to stay. “Why?”

She hesitates and then says, “You know why.”

She disappears back inside the building, and I sit in my fucking feelings.

I stare at my truck with an intense urge to drive straight to Patrick and Grace’s house and tell them all about Kenna. I want to tell them how selfless she is. I want to tell them what a hard worker she is. I want to tell them how forgiving she is, because every single one of us has been making her life a living hell, yet she somehow doesn’t seem to resent us for it.

I want to tell Patrick and Grace every wonderful thing about Kenna, but even more than that, I want to tell Kenna how wrong I was when I told her Diem wouldn’t benefit from having her in her life.

Who am I to say that to a mother about her own child?

Who the fuck am I to make that kind of judgment?