Rising from the Ashes
Chapter 17

When Elenora speaks of her childhood to other people, they are usually absolutely horrified while listening to it. Some start to tear up and some start to threaten anybody that had ever hurt her. Mia doesn't have a violent bone in her body but she had done both and Elenora is certain she will follow through with all of her threats if only she can get her hands on Vermont.

The thing is, Elenora had never thought she had a terrible childhood until she left it behind her. Those things were normal to her. It was all she knew. For most of her life she had believed she deserved it and more. Then she started to grow up. Then she started to realize nothing was normal and nothing was as it seemed. It affects her now more than it did as a child. The two most impactful things are this.

Food. Vermont had laced every meal with wolfsbane in order to keep Marcella hidden away. He had hoped he managed to kill Marcella but she fought the poison somehow. Elenora only trust the food Mia and herself serve up as a result to that. Everything else is tested first, almost unconsciously. Elenora hadn't realized until Mia pointed that out and that was when she explained. Mia was horrified.

The most impactful thing Vermont had ever done is something much deeper, something much worse. He did it effortlessly. He made her hate any and all werewolves. He started with letting Elenora know she could never trust them. Every year he would lock her in a cage and set her free in the middle of the forest where a pack of werewolves would chase her as she ran for her life. He made her fear them. He made her hate them. He convinced her that she was human and that werewolves were evil and she only saw differently when she met Anthony and Grandmother May and then her daughter. Still, Elenora had already hated werewolves before she shifted into one.

Everything Vermont had done had completely destroyed any chance at a good relationship with the wild side of her. When Elenora shifted for the first time, she had thought herself to be a monster. She had felt so dirty. She had seen her dream life of peace flash before her eyes and burn to ashes. She had begun to hate herself.

This was quite possibly the worse thing Vermont had ever done to her.

As Elenora runs through the forest, she does not feel free as Mia does. She feels trapped as Marcella runs so fast. She feels Marcella's emotions. So simple. So sad. This is not how it is supposed to be. As Marcella runs, free of worry, Elenora does not feel upset.

Instead Elenora thinks about what might have happened if Vermont had never stolen her away from her crib, away from a life of love. She might not have ever known the life of a rogue, the struggles they live through. Maybe she would have never seen her wolf as a monster but instead she would have seen a beautiful creature of wonder and purity. She would have felt peace as she runs through the wilderness, only surviving on pure instinct. She would have never felt so trapped. She would have a life without worry, a life without fear, and maybe a life without pain as well.

Marcella crouches down, smelling food. A deer, somewhere in the distance. Marcella moves fast, sprinting towards her prey before clamping down on its throat before it can even think to run. Marcella had always been fearless when it comes to hunting. She has always been incredibly strong and incredibly fast. Mia's wolf, Isleen, had always been on the more cautious side. She does not hunt for large animals like a moose without Marcella's help. Marcella does not dig into the deer as Elenora thought she would. Instead she clamps her jaw on the deer and starts to drag it towards the Bloodmoon pack.

Elenora lets her have this though she does not much care for getting in the good graces of Nakoa's pack. Marcella cares, and Marcella does not get her way often. Elenora does not complain about the likelihood of showing up to work late, nor does she force Marcella to shift. It was never Marcella's fault, the way she was raised. Vermont had ruined Elenora in many ways and the longer she hates the monstrous side of her, well she might as well give Vermont a trophy for winning when she replaces him.

He had ruined her in every way. He had stolen away every chance of happiness. He had stolen her trust, even when Elenora thought him to be dead. He had stolen her from a life that might have been filled with love. He had stolen away her ability to eat without fear. He had stolen away any chance at accepting the biggest most important part of her. How does one overcome that? How does one forget? How does one forgive?

Marcella stops at the border only to be surrounded by several warriors, ready to attack. She nudges the deer towards the border "Stop! Shift now." A large man growls. Marcella merely whines, she does not submit like she should. That is what they want. They want her to submit to them. Marcella has never submitted to anybody, not even Vermont. She refuses. She does lay down by the deer, nudging it towards the large man again. Her intention is quite clear to the man. She wants him to eat it. "What sort of rogue brings food to a pack?" A thin man jumps from the tree. He's tall, blonde, and pale as the cloudy sky. "I'm not a werewolf but I think she wants you to eat Moros." Moros? What's the Beta doing at the border? Beta Moros Burton steps closer slowly, stopping when one of the other warriors step in

"It could be a trap!"

"Not a very good one with the amount of warriors surrounding her." Beta Burton looks at his warrior with a scowl. Mia would be freaking out, screaming at Marcella to run. It doesn't matter how strong Marcella is. That doesn't mean Mia likes it when she puts herself in danger. This pack hates rogues so much Elenora wouldn't be surprised if they took the opportunity to capture Marcella and torture her. "Does anybody have a knife?" Beta Burton looks around. The pale man steps forward and hands him a large knife. Usually Marcella would be growling but she moves closer without fear, slowly as not to startle them. She stays low to the ground, trying to appear non-threatening while still keeping her head held high in pure stubbornness.

The Beta holds the knife out, keeping his message as clear as Marcella's intentions. If Marcella twitches in the wrong way, he'll kill her. Marcella merely nudges the deer again and watches as he slowly cuts some of the meat out for himself. He cuts himself a small piece and eats it raw. He manages to keep the disgust off his face quite well. "Sweet can I have some?" The pale man asks when Beta Burton doesn't roll over dead. Marcella merely nudges the deer in his direction before disappearing in the trees to shift and explain herself and her presence.

Elenora shifts quickly and grabs some of the nearby clothes hidden away in a bush with the hope Fergus won't mind her attire of a large male shirt and a pair of boxers for shorts.

When Elenora shifts she walks out appearing much more threatening than Marcella had, even without weapons. "Something tells me she isn't nearly as friendly as her wolf, and usually it's the opposite." The pale man shrugs, still feasting on the raw meat of the deer. The Beta straightens and glares at her.

"My wolf wanted to make a good impression. I see no point when this pack has ruthlessly murdered more rogues than the king himself."

"Ah. I see your personality is a glowing reflection of-"

"Nolan." Beta Burton glares at the pale man "What do you want?" He growls as he turns towards Elenora who glares in almost the exact same way the Beta does.

"I want you to stop murdering the innocent but I feel like that's expecting too much from you so I'll stick with going to work instead. You can call Alpha Bardrick or Fergus to confirm but I start work here today."

"Huh. We just met and already I know she's such a pleasant person to be around." One of the warriors mutters quietly to himself as the Beta pulls out his phone. Elenora was hoping he would call Fergus but instead Beta Burton calls Nakoa himself. This is quite unfortunate given the fact she had been avoiding him. In fact, he is part of the reason she is just starting work today no matter how irresponsible that may be. Elenora should have showed up days ago but nope. Just now. "I have a rogue here at the border. She's tall for the average woman, has an attitude-"

"Though my wolf wishes to keep the peace with this pack, I have no qualms in ripping your throat out." Elenora mentions, smiling as sweet as she can manage.

Nakoa stays silent for a moment "I will be right there." He tells the Beta who nods.

"That is really not necessary!" Elenora shouts. The shouting bit isn't completely necessary. Not with the good hearing they both have but Elenora really does not want to see him. She doesn't quite know what to do with the Alpha and their relationship. She wants him. Wants him in the type of way that Elenora hasn't slept in days because she had grown to enjoy his arms wrapped around her waist. In fact, sleeping in his arms is the safest she had felt in years. Speaking to him is probably the most at peace she felt in years as well. His scent alone is enough to calm her. When she is near him she does not think about how trapped she feels in her skin. Instead she thinks about all the questions she wishes to ask him. She thinks about kissing his lips. She thinks about the things she wants to do him. She thinks about making him happy.

This time is no different. He shows up and he looks a terrible mess compared to his usual self. Almost as messy as she looks. His hair is brushed but not styled to perfection. It looks curlier than it usually does. There is nothing in his hair to calm it down. He's wearing a suit but it looks very disheveled. Elenora does not forget that they are surrounded by warriors and the Beta and anything they say will spread throughout the pack by noon but she shoves that to the back of her mind as she interacts with the Alpha. "What's with the deer?" He asks, his voice deep and hoarse as if he hadn't used it much for days. Or maybe he has been shouting a whole lot but that doesn't seem much like him at all.

"My wolf was hoping to take care of the warriors. There has been a large increase of rogues and you had been working them hard because of that." Elenora shrugs as if it is nothing but Nakoa smiles, a small smile. It is not nothing. It is a Luna's job to care for the pack. This was Marcella expressing to Nakoa that she accepts that position full heartedly.

"She does not seem the type to be so kind." Nakoa offers

"She is not." Only for your pack. For a moment all they do is stare and it is so different from how they usually are. It is almost like they're first meeting except even then they talked more. It was not a kind meeting but it was not nearly this awkward either. "I have work and I am late." Elenora mentions, clearing her throat and looking to her bare feet.

"I can walk you. Maybe we can stop for something to eat?"

"I think I can replace my way."

"I cannot let a rogue walk the pack alone Elenora. Not because I don't trust you but because the people of my pack will be scared for their safety." Elenora swallows and makes a suggestion without truly thinking about it. She regrets it the moment the words leave her mouth. Her intention is not to hurt him. Really.

"Perhaps it might be better if Beta Burton walks me. If you can spare him from the border and he has the time." Elenora looks up just in time to see Nakoa's hurt though he seems to hide it fast, nodding along.

"As you wish." He clears his throat and he looks up to the trees.

"It's not like that Nakoa." Elenora rushes to say "But I think it is best to keep my distance for the time being." He doesn't say a word and though Elenora cannot feel his emotions, she knows this hurts him. She doesn't want to do this here, with Beta Burton standing not three feet away from her and several warriors and one possible vampire listening to every word. All of this will spread fast.

"Moros. Lead her to Fergus please." Nakoa swallows and looks to her "Have a nice-"

"I need time to think Nakoa. That is all I am asking and I cannot think when I am near you. Hell I can't think when I'm away from you much either!"

"Forgive me but I am having a hard time figuring out what it is you want from me." Nakoa snaps and for a moment he looks angry as he steps closer before he manages to hide it.

"I want you to understand that I am not doing this to hurt you." Elenora snaps back "I'm doing this because a pack means everything to an Alpha. You live to protect them, to serve them. A pack is a family to an Alpha and I can't fathom asking you to leave them for me but I can't fathom leading them myself either. In my world a pack is a prison and I need you to understand that. I need you to understand that I have an impossible decision to make and I need you to understand how much that-" Elenora doesn't finish her sentence. She can't. It has been years since anything scared her and she hates that pesky little emotion more than anything. Fear can drive people to do terrible unspeakable things.

Vermont was always so cruel, but he was more scared than anybody else I have ever met.

"What do you want me to do then? Smile as you avoid me? This pack has committed no crime against you Elenora. We have never broken any laws when it comes to rogues-"

"That's because the laws in place are absolutely ridiculous! This pack has killed ruthlessly! Tortured ruthlessly Nakoa! You might not have hurt me physically but-" Elenora does not finish. He doesn't know and now is not the time to tell him. "I just want to get to work Nakoa. Please." Elenora mutters but he steps closer.

"But what? What did I do? What did this pack do that makes you hate us so much because I have treated rogues no differently than you have treated Alphas!"

"It doesn't matter." Elenora crosses her arms, glaring at the dirt.

"It matters! What did I do? Kill a rogue you know maybe?" I tense for a moment before forcing myself to relax. Now is not the time. In fact, Elenora regrets this whole conversation.

"Bingo." The pale blonde mutters, reminding her of their presence. They are not alone.

"Who was it?" Alpha Nakoa mutters in a much softer tone

For a moment Elenora doesn't respond. Not until she looks at him. Maybe it was his face and how it looked just as defeated as Elenora feels. "His name was Mathew Collins. A rogue that lived with his grandfather somewhere on neutral grounds. He came here not too long after the attack on your parents to speak with you. He did not come back." Elenora did not think Nakoa would recognize the name but with the way guilt fills his eyes before he turns away from her, he remembers Mathew quite well.

Mathew was most likely one of the first rogues he lashed out on, if not the first. In fact, when Elenora looks around quite a few of the warriors seem to recognize the name. "Moros." Nakoa mutters before disappearing. Beta Burton steps closer to her, much less hostile than he had been earlier though that doesn't mean Elenora is any less hostile. The moment Nakoa is gone, she is sure to make it known how little this changes.

Authors note

When I finish this book I will need to do some serious editing. I want to make sure everything makes sense and though I used to religiously read and reread each chapter to be sure it does, I just don't have time with my fifty hour -soon to be sixty hour-work week. That being said this is IMPORTANT.

I do not remember if I had mentioned this previously but this book is number one in a series and we are closing in on the ending. Expect a cliffhanger guys. Expect it. Hate me for it. I don't care.

With that said, thank you for all your support miss Rita Dos Santos. There have been times where you have motivated me to continue writing the next chapter instead of procrastinating the hell out of it and I really appreciate that. Plus your comments always make my day. You are amazing and this chapter is for you.