Rogue (Relentless Book 3)
: Chapter 12

OVER THE NEXT two weeks, my life became an endless cycle of training and more training. In the mornings, I worked with Aine, who made good on her promise to replace some sick or injured creatures that needed my help. I healed a lame mustang in Wyoming, a blind terrier in Florida, and a sickly werecougar cub in Oregon. It amazed me how we could pop away from the estate and arrive in some place a thousand miles away. I loved being able to heal things again, especially since it no longer drained my power.

As well as the healings went, I still could not control my power when I used it for anything else. I could feel it pushing against my walls like flood water against a dam, and the pressure inside me built a little more every time I failed to release it. Aine was a patient teacher, working endlessly with me, but my frustration grew with each day that passed.

I trained with Nikolas in the afternoons, and I was pretty sure he was trying to keep me so exhausted I wouldn’t think about running away again. Each day he taught me a new move and made me work on it until he was satisfied it was perfect. Then we’d spend an hour on weapons training. Jordan suggested I try a sword, but after ten minutes with one, Nikolas declared I was not ready for that weapon. He focused on teaching me how to fight with a dagger instead.

After weapons came the dreaded conditioning. I thought it would get easier as the days passed, but as soon as I got used to something, Nikolas increased the intensity of the exercise or added a new one. In trainer mode, he was absolutely relentless. Every time I lagged, he pushed me to work harder, always reminding me that my enemies would not give me a break. Some days I wasn’t sure if he was trying to make me into a warrior or trying to show me that I wasn’t cut out to be one.

When he wasn’t training me or Jordan, Nikolas spent most of his time at the new command center they’d set up next door, which I hadn’t seen yet. Chris was gone so much he started sleeping over there. Left to our own devices, Jordan and I soon discovered living on an estate wasn’t all it was cracked up to be. There were only so many movies you could watch, and even books lost their appeal after a while. Jordan amused herself with video games and online shopping, but those held no interest for me. I talked to Roland and Greg every other day and caught up with David, who had been worried when I stayed out of touch for so long. Madeline had completely disappeared from sight, but David and Kelvan were still looking for her.

Boredom and weariness drove me to bed early on the nights Nikolas worked. I’d toss and turn for hours before I could finally fall asleep, and then I’d wake up bleary-eyed and tired.

By the end of the second week, I was so irritable and frustrated I did the unthinkable and snapped at Aine in our training. She looked shocked and a little hurt, and I felt like the most horrible person alive for yelling at someone so sweet and patient. Eldeorin chose that moment to show up and ask how things were going. My response was to burst into tears, which mortified me and made the two of them start fussing over me. Their kindness made me feel even worse. I blurted an apology to Aine and ran off.

If Nikolas noticed how quiet I was during our training that afternoon, he didn’t mention it. I put everything into the workout, just wanting to be done so I could hide away in my room and not talk to anyone for the rest of the day.

At six o’clock that evening, a knock at my door pulled me from my cocoon of blankets. Not caring about my bed hair, I answered the door and found Nikolas with his leather jacket in his hand, wearing a fitted V-neck sweater and a pair of low rise jeans that drew my eyes to his hard stomach. I swallowed, forgetting why I was hiding from him and everyone else.

He made a sound and I blushed as I lifted my gaze to meet his amused one. The twitch of his lips told me he knew exactly where my eyes had been.

“Grab a warm coat. We’re going out.”

I didn’t hide my surprise. “We are?”

“If you’d rather stay –”

“No!” A husky chuckle followed me as I grabbed some clothes and closed myself in the bathroom. He could laugh at me all he wanted if it meant I could spend a few hours with him outside of this estate. I ran a brush through my tangled hair and quickly brushed my teeth. In minutes, I was back at the door, tugging on my coat.

“Where are we going?” I asked as we descended the stairs.

“I thought you might like to go out to dinner for a change.” He opened the door, and my eyes lit on the shiny black Ducati sitting in the driveway. I’d expected Jordan to join us, but three of us weren’t going to fit on the motorcycle. It hit me that it was just going to be the two of us. It wasn’t like I’d never been alone with Nikolas, but this would be our first date. I suddenly felt shy, which was ridiculous when you considered that he’d already slept in my bed.

“That sounds nice,” I managed to say.

He lifted a black helmet from the seat and fitted it over my head. My breath caught when his warm fingers brushed against my throat, and I found myself staring at his full lips. It wasn’t until he tapped on the visor and lifted it that I realized he was talking to me. My ears burned when he had to explain again how to use the built-in mic. Gah! Get it together, Sara.

Smiling, he slipped on his own helmet and got on the motorcycle, patting the seat behind him. I climbed on and wrapped my arms around his waist, my pulse leaping as I pressed my body against his and wrapped my arms around his waist.

He started the bike, and before I knew it, we were passing through the gates. I almost let out a whoop as we rode away from the estate.

It didn’t take long to see why Nikolas had told me to wear a warm coat. California might be warmer than Maine or Idaho, but that didn’t matter when you were on a motorcycle. I was grateful that he shielded me from the brunt of the wind, but that didn’t help my hands. I flexed my fingers, trying to warm them.

His voice filled my helmet. “You okay?”

“Yes, but I should have brought gloves with me.”

Nikolas took his left hand from the handlebar and laid it over mine. He wasn’t wearing gloves either and his skin felt scorching hot against my cold hand. How was he not cold?

I almost objected when he removed his hand, but a few seconds later he took my hand and placed it in the pocket of his jacket. My right hand quickly sought out his other pocket, and I sighed audibly when warmth enveloped both hands.

“Better?”

“Much better.”

We rode in silence for a few minutes before I asked, “Where are we going anyway?”

“Santa Cruz. What kind of food are you in the mood for?”

“I love Italian, but I’m not picky if you want something else.”

Ten minutes later, Nikolas pulled into the parking lot of a small Italian restaurant. Judging by the number of cars in the lot, the place was popular, and I wasn’t sure we were going to get a table. I shook my head when he smiled at the hostess, who immediately led us to a table by one of the windows. A candle in the center cast an intimate glow over the white tablecloth, making me remember this was an actual date. I fiddled with my napkin as a waiter appeared to fill our water glasses and lay a basket of rolls between us.

Why am I so nervous? It’s just Nikolas. What do I say? What if we have nothing to say to each other?

We looked over the menu and gave the waiter our orders. Then he left us alone. I cast about for something to say. “This seems like a nice place.”

He smiled and reached for a roll. “It is. I’ve been here before.”

“Oh.” I felt a pang of jealousy as I imagined him here with some other woman, a beautiful one like Celine. Don’t even go there. I knew Nikolas had been with women before me; I wasn’t that naïve. I was not going to be one of those ridiculous girls who dwelled on things that happened before the man even knew she existed.

“I came here with Chris last week.” He pulled his roll apart. “You should grab one of these before I eat them all.”

Laughing, I took one of the savory rolls and spread some butter on it. I took a bite, and it practically melted on my tongue. “Mmm, this is amazing.”

I looked up and found Nikolas watching me with an expression that made it hard to swallow the food in my mouth.

He picked up his water glass, breaking the spell between us. “I talked to Tristan today. He said Sahir is hoping to use Hugo and Woolf to patrol the grounds.”

“I heard that too. They’ve been great with him ever since the night of the attack. I’m glad they don’t have to be caged all the time now.” I smiled at the thought of the two huge hellhounds running free through the miles of woods around Westhorne.

“You miss them, don’t you?”

“Yes, but I know Sahir is taking good care of them. He doesn’t have a lot to do without Minuet and Alex there.”

Nikolas smiled. “The wyvern didn’t go as far as you think. They’ve spotted him twice in the mountains near Westhorne. Sahir thinks he’s found a cave to live in, and there is plenty of game for him to hunt. They’ve been too busy with everything else that’s been going on to try to catch him. So far he’s kept out of sight of the humans, and Tristan said he’s going to leave him alone for now, unless he poses a threat to people.”

I imagined some poor hunter out in the woods, looking up and seeing what looked like a small dragon flying overhead. They’d probably spend the next five years in therapy and never hunt again.

“The night of the attack he could have hurt a lot of people, but he only went after the crocotta and vampires. I hope that means he’s no longer a danger to humans.”

“We’ll see,” Nikolas said as the waiter arrived with our food.

I’m pretty sure my linguine was delicious, but it was hard to think of food with Nikolas sitting across from me. His eyes smoldered in the candle light, and I kept catching myself staring at his mouth. For his part, he seemed completely unaware of his effect on my appetite as he dug into his huge plate of lasagna.

Trying to focus on something besides him, I looked around the dining room. It reminded me of a little family restaurant Nate and I used to eat at sometimes. That life and Maine seemed so far away now, and I wondered, if I went back to New Hastings, would it still feel like home? Some things, I knew, would never be the same.

“Heavy thoughts?”

“Sorry.” I realized I had been quiet for several minutes. “I was just thinking about New Hastings. It seems like forever since I was there.”

“Do you still miss it?”

“Yes, but not as much as I used to. I miss Remy more than anything, but even if I was there, I couldn’t see him.” Remy’s elders had forbidden him from seeing me after what happened to his little cousins. It still hurt that I hadn’t gotten to say goodbye to him. I knew he would always be my friend even if we couldn’t see each other.

“We can go back again when it’s safe. And trolls live a very long time. I’m sure you’ll see him again.”

The way he said “we” made me warm inside and out. No matter what happened in my life, I knew he would be there, and that filled me with an emotion I couldn’t put into words.

“Other than Maine, where would you like to go?”

“Everywhere,” I said without hesitation.

He raised an eyebrow at me.

“Okay not everywhere, but there are so many places I’d like to see. Europe, South America, Africa. Sahir told me so much about Africa that I won’t be happy until I see one of those sunsets he described.”

“I think you’ll like Africa. It has more wild animals than even you can tame.” He wiped his mouth with his napkin. “And I think we can replace you plenty of pretty sunsets.”

There was that “we” again. My heart fluttered in response. I took a few sips from my water glass as I thought of something to say. “You’ve been all over the world. Do you have a favorite place?”

“I was usually too focused on my missions to enjoy a lot of the places I visited.”

I toyed with my fork. “Maybe we can go back and visit some of them. You can show me Russia.”

“I’d like that.”

Nikolas’s smile made my stomach dip. How was it that I hadn’t fallen head over heels for this man back in Maine? I had the crazy urge to lean across the small table and kiss him. What had gotten into me tonight? At this rate, I was going to jump him before we got to the dessert. It has to be the liannan. It’s making me hormonal or something.

We talked about some of the other places we’d like to see, and he told me about a few of the ones he’d been to and some of the strange things he’d seen and foods he’d tried. That turned the conversation to our favorite foods followed by a discussion about music. We argued for at least ten minutes over whether the sixties or seventies was the best decade for music, and I was surprised to learn that we liked a lot of the same stuff.

The waiter came to clear our plates and asked if we wanted dessert. There was no way I could leave without having tiramisu so we ordered a piece to share. I took my time, trying to draw out the meal as long as possible.

Walking to his motorcycle after our meal, it hit me that we’d just had our first normal conversation that didn’t involve training or vampires or anything that a regular couple wouldn’t discuss. And I’d liked it a lot.

Nikolas stopped at the motorcycle and looked at me. “So what would you like to do now?”

“We aren’t going home?” I asked hopefully.

“Not unless you want to.”

I didn’t want our date to be over. “Can we ride around and see the city?”

“Are you sure won’t be too cold?”

“Not if I can use your pockets again.” I slipped my helmet on. “How is it that you’re so hot…? I mean your skin is hot when mine is cold.” Heat scorched my cheeks, and I was so glad for the helmet that hid my face.

Nikolas grinned. “My Mori controls my body temperature,” he explained as he donned his own helmet. “You’ll be able to do that too, eventually.”

“That’ll come in handy.”

He straddled the seat, and I climbed up behind him, tucking my hands into his pockets again. The motorcycle purred to life and Nikolas pulled out of the parking lot, taking us on a slow tour of the city. Santa Cruz was very pretty at night, from what I saw. I spent most of the ride with my eyes closed, my arms around Nikolas, savoring the experience of the two of us alone out here.

“You’re not cold, are you?” he asked after a few minutes.

“No, this is great. It’s not as cold at this speed.”

“We’ll go slower on the way back. I should have taken one of the SUVs instead.”

“I’d rather ride a motorcycle than in a car,” I replied as we slowed for a red light. “Greg used to give me rides on his bike, and I loved it. I asked him to teach me to ride, but he didn’t want to upset Nate.”

He turned us down a different street, and I saw a lot of lights against the skyline. “I can teach you, if you still want to learn.”

A disbelieving laugh slipped out. “You’ll let me ride your motorcycle?”

His deep chuckle made warmth flood my belly.

“No, I’ll get you something smaller and less powerful than the Ducati to start on.”

A thrill went through me at the idea of the two of us riding our motorcycles side by side down a highway. “When can we start?”

Nikolas laughed again, but his reaction told me he was pleased by my eagerness. “Let’s focus on your training right now. Besides, I need to replace the right bike for you first.”

We approached a brightly lit amusement park. “What is that?” I asked.

“That’s the Boardwalk. The rides are closed, but I thought you might like to walk through it.”

We parked the bike and began strolling through the colorful park. Nikolas asked if I wanted to check out some of the attractions, but I was happy just to walk with him. I did have to stop when I saw a vendor selling funnel cakes. I’d never had one and they smelled amazing. Nikolas smiled when I asked for one with powdered sugar and chocolate drizzled over it.

“Thank God for a high metabolism.” I bit into my cake. “This is so good. You sure you don’t want some?”

Humor flashed in his eyes. “No, thanks.”

I took another bite and licked chocolate off my lips. “You don’t know what you’re missing.”

I stopped chewing when he reached over and swiped his thumb across my chin. When he put his thumb to his mouth and licked off the chocolate he’d picked up, my stomach went to visit my feet.

“You’re right, it’s delicious.” He tore off a piece of the cake and bit into it as if he hadn’t just sent my insides into a tailspin.

We continued to the end of the Boardwalk, and then he suggested we walk back along the beach. Away from the people, we could talk without being overheard, and our conversation turned to less normal things, in particular my training with Aine.

“I don’t understand why I can heal things, but I can’t do anything else,” I vented. “Sometimes it feels like I’m going to explode if I don’t use my power. It’s so frustrating.”

“Is that why you were upset when you came to training today?”

I told him about snapping at Aine and then running away. “I feel awful about it. She’s been so good to me and I yelled at her.”

He stopped walking and tugged on my arm until I faced him. “Aine understands what you’re going through. I only wish there was something I could do to help you through this.”

“You are doing something,” I said quietly. “I needed this.”

We turned to continue our walk.

“What else is troubling you?” he asked.

“Nothing.”

“Liar.”

“It’s just that there’s not much to do at Eldeorin’s. I have my training during the day, but it’s kind of boring at night. I’m not used to being idle.” I fell silent, hating how silly my complaint sounded with everything that was going on. “Never mind. It’s nothing.”

“It’s not nothing if it’s bothering you. I know I’ve been spending a lot of time next door, and I’m sorry for leaving you alone so much.”

“It’s not that. You have an important job to do, and I don’t want to be coddled or entertained. I just need something to do. I need to feel useful.”

We reached a wharf and we wordlessly decided to take a stroll along it. A light wind tossed my hair around my face until I held it to the side with one hand.

“You and Jordan don’t have to stay at the house all the time. You can go next door whenever you want.”

“Oh.”

“The work we’re doing concerns you, too. I’m sorry you thought I didn’t want you there.”

His words warmed me despite the wind. “I should have asked instead of assuming it was off limits.”

At the end of the wharf, I walked to the rail and peered down at the foaming waves rushing between the pilings. It was too dark to see much, but I could feel the power of the waves. I’d always been drawn to the ocean, but since my liannan the pull was much stronger. The ocean teemed with so much life and magic it filled me with awe.

“You’re not planning on jumping, are you?”

The teasing question transported me back to the wharf in New Hastings when he’d asked me the same thing. All I’d wanted that day was for him to go away and let my life go back to normal. I’d been so angry and afraid of what he’d stood for, the changes he’d brought with him. Now, I couldn’t imagine him and the others not being in my life.

We stood quietly at the rail for a few minutes before he tapped my arm. “We should be heading back.”

“Okay.” I didn’t want this night to be over yet, but I knew he had work to do.

We made our way back to where he’d parked the motorcycle, and soon we were on the road back to the estate. Neither of us said much on the return trip. I hugged his waist and closed my eyes, wishing we could drive past the estate and keep going until we hit Canada. Just the two of us.

I held back a sigh of disappointment when we pulled up in front of the main entrance. Dismounting, I pulled off my helmet. “I had a great time tonight. Next time I’ll remember to bring gloves.”

His eyes were dark and unfathomable as he smoothed down some of my hair that had been mussed by the helmet. “I don’t mind if you forget them.”

My breath caught. It amazed me how the smallest touch or look from him could affect me so much. “I guess I should go in. Jordan’s probably waiting to grill me about every detail.”

A knowing smile curved his lips, and he put a hand under my chin to tilt my face toward his.

My stomach fluttered in anticipation. Any kiss from Nikolas was enough to turn my legs to jelly, but this would be my first date kiss.

“Good, you’re back at last.”

Eldeorin’s voice startled me so much that I took a step back from Nikolas to stare at the faerie. He hadn’t been around much in the last two weeks, and he never visited at at night. “What are you doing here?” I asked, unable to keep my irritation from my tone. I liked Eldeorin, but his timing really sucked. Didn’t he see we were in the middle of something important here?

He smiled indulgently. “I’ve been thinking about the problems you’ve been having with your magic, and I have an idea that will help you.”

“That’s great, but shouldn’t we talk about it tomorrow when Aine is here?”

“This is not part of Aine’s training.” He took my hand in his, ignoring the dark look Nikolas shot him. “It’s time for you to start your training with me.”

I realized Eldeorin’s intention a second too late. The last thing I saw was Nikolas’s surprised face as the familiar black void settled around me.