Ivy:

“You have to stay away from Askashis- he always has a motive” Sean says as he watches Askashis’s back. Askashis puts up his hood and coolly continues down the street.

“How do you know him?”

I too am staring at Askashis’ back, the harsh afternoon sun shining on his dusty black robe and he slowly disappears. It’s safer than confronting the reality that Sean represents.

“What the fuck!”

What the-

I feel Sean’s rough hands grip me and manhandle me in front of him. He’s looking me up and down.

Ugh, I forgot. I forgot I look like a hot mess coated in mud and blood. No doubt my hair is a flying mess and my dress is winkled in places that usually don’t wrinkle.

“I’ll kill the fucker” Sean says under his breath.

My anger flairs. Askashis may or may not be a manipulative bastard, but he showed me some the hidden truth of the messed up planet. Sean didn’t do that. As far I am concerned his only job is to make sure I don’t get into so much trouble that I can’t go home and make baby Giddeans. He’s not even that good at that.

God, he probably believes in that messed up cult. He’s probably seen who knows how many women raped and killed. He probably sees nothing wrong with it- maybe he even enjoys it. Maybe that’s even where he was while I was supposed to be at the women’s center.

Suddenly it feels like his hands are burning me and I jerk out of Sean’s reach.

“Don’t touch me” I say coolly.

Sean eyes me. “Fine, but tell me what happened”

“I… No. I’m going home” I almost choke on the word home. It’s not home. It’s a prison where my kidnappers keep me hostage. How could I forget that? How could I get comfortable?

I feel bile rise again in my throat. I try to gulp air in an attempt to keep it down.

“Mrs. Senator, did he hurt you?” Sean asks firmly.

I giggle. It’s so inappropriate and Sean just raises his eyebrow at he like I’m some sort of freak. Of course, I’m not the one who rapes and sacrifices women.

“No” I force out between giggles.

“Then whose blood is that?”

I sober up quickly as I remember Peter. The blood pouring from is round eyes and down his chubby baby cheeks. I smooth my hands down the crusted fabric of my dress.

“I need to speak with Elena” if she will speak to me that is. I have to explain. I don’t know what happened. I didn’t mean to hurt her son. Would she see me? Maybe I should send a note…

“Later. I need to know what happened. Then I need to get you cleaned up before Giddean sees you”

Giddean. The name hits me like a brick. He is probably a believer that cult too. And I had let down my guard. I had let him in. I had begun to trust him. Why? Why did I do that?

I feel a burning in my chest and I reach my hand up and rub over my heart.

“Mrs. Senator?”

“Yeah, uh… Elena’s son, he had a… accident and well, that lead to this” I gesture at my attire.

Sean nods, not caring to ask about the toddler. Boys will be boys I suppose? Maybe blood and mess is a normal part of growing up on a planet of men.

“Right, home before we run into somebody” Sean orders.

I nod and turn towards home, Sean following me silently.

My mind is turning at everything. All the ritualized violence, the blood, the indifference. The celebration of murder- the acceptance that one of the women they call so precious, who are so rare on their planet, has to die. Die for what? What is the purpose of the ceremony?

I glance behind me briefly at the mammoth that is my bodyguard.

“Sean, are you religious?”

“No”

I release a breath. Not that I can trust him. No. I have no doubt he would have hidden the horrible truth of this planet from me if he could have.

But at least I am not talking with someone who supports murder. Or ritualized murder. Or something. I don’t know. I guess I don’t know Sean all that well. He tends to be the silent type, just following me around, saying only what needs to be said. I think his favorite form of communication might be grunting.

We continue our walk towards home. I am in familiar territory now. I know the moss covered parks and I recognize the buildings. It smells of a sweet flower here. A sweet smell masking the ugliness of hidden horrors that this world commits.

“My mother was a priestess.”

I glance back at Sean, “okay.”

“Do you know what that means?”

I shake my head. I don’t know what it means. I mean I do- some sort of religious worker, but I don’t know what the significance of that statement is in this context.

“Let’s just say it’s a hard life”

“In what way?” I ask curious. I mean, if Sean is sharing I am willing to listen. I didn’t realize women could do anything but be partners to some Pinn or another.

“Just, be happy you are where you are”

Disappointingly vague and somehow very Sean.

“I didn’t realize women could hold jobs on Pinn”

I look back at Sean again when he doesn’t answer. The idea of employment sounds liberating. To make my own money, to not have to rely upon a Pinn, to call my own shots, sounds… sounds freeing.

“They can. Just not any jobs worth having”

“Shouldn’t I get to be the judge of that?”

I hear a grunt of disagreement. “Giddean’s right. You really don’t understand much”

My face flushes with anger. “Perhaps if anyone ever answered anything instead of-“

“It’s not meant as an insult” Sean interrupts, “you haven’t been here long. But is an objective observation”

“You absolute-“

“I get it. It’s hard.” Sean continues talking over me, “but just keep Giddean happy and you will be fine. You’ll figure it out sooner or later.”

That was the second time I had been told this today. I wasn’t in the state of mind to dive into what that meant, what that meant I had to do.

So I just ignore his statement, continuing to walk. My mind still races, my knowledge of this planet so damning.

A thought occurs to me. I try to push it away. Now is not the time to deal with it. But it keeps coming back. It’s intrusive, it’s pervasive. I give in.

“Sean, is Giddean religious?”

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