Seduced by My Childhood Sweetheart’s Brother
Chapter 62

62- Nightmares and numbness

Darrien looks so lost. I start laughing. Megan and Bellamy give near identical smirks.

make a

“My brother stole it to nest for Ry in his office. Apparently he needs supervision while he works now.Although I’m not sure why he bothered because she wasn’t sitting on the recliner when I found them.”Her tone is suggestive and makes the whole thing sound a lot worse than it was. Still, I can’t help theblush that burns across my face. Seriously, I need to replace a way to stop that.

“I can go grab it.” Bellamy moves to stand but Darrien waves him back.

“Don’t worry about it, I’m fine here.” He drops to the floor and settles in place resting his back againstthe edge of Megan’s recliner. Not touching her, but definitely more of a casual placement than he wouldnormally choose. Megan’s gaze darts to mine and I try to arrange my face in a way that appearsencouraging. Bellamy settles back in beside me. He checks his phone.

“Food should arrive in about twenty minutes.” He informs us cheerfully. He subtly slides a little closer tome on the couch. Or maybe he’s not so subtle. Megan gives him a look of absolute disgust.

“Who are you and what have you done with my moody, grouchy brother? Ry, whatever drug you’regiving him you might want to reduce the dose. People are going to think he’s been body snatched.”She jokes.

“More like they’ll assume he’s getting some.” Darrien remarked quietly. I’m not even sure he evenintended to say the words aloud because he actually looks a little alarmed at his own. comment. I glareat him while Megan nudges him with her knee and gives him a high–five. I turn to Bellamy intending to

complain or suggest he retaliates in some way. Instead he gives. a bland expression and in a deadpantone responds to the room.

“I should be so lucky.” Then he turns and winks at me. I slap his arm lightly and cover my face to hidemy embarrassment as Megan and Darrien laugh.

“Bellamy!” He wraps an arm around my shoulder and pulls me against him. I turn and hide

my face in his chest. Seriously, how much embarrassment can one person live through?

“Alright, I’ll stop.” He runs a hand through my hair. His tone is sincere. I risk a peek up at his face andhe’s smiling at me. I suppose it is nice that he’s enjoying himself. Particularly since I want to keepthings private. He’s just relaxed around the few people he can be completely

honest with.

Dinner eventually arrives and by the time we finish eating I actually think I’m starting to feel sick from allthe greasy fried chicken and carbs: But it was soo worth it. Megan is yawning again. She definitelydidn’t sleep enough. I’m about to ask if someone can drive me home when Megan flashes a look ofdesperation. I only see it for a moment before she covers it up with a fake smile. Her next questioncomes out casually but I suspect it is anything but.

“Hey Ry, do you wanna sleep over tonight? There’s no need for you to go all the way home. My bedhas plenty of space for the two of us and you don’t have work until tomorrow afternoon.” I immediatelyagree. She jumps to her feet and offers to walk Darrien out. He goes along good naturedly and callsout that he will see us in the morning at his usual time, whenever that is.

Beside me, Bellamy lets out a deep sigh and drops his head to my

shoulder.

“You wanted me to go home?” I ask, a little confused. He sits up and shakes his head.

“If it was up to me you would stay here every night. I was just thinking that with you in my sister’s roomI’m going to have to sleep alone tonight. I was planning to drive you home and see if I could convinceyou to let me stay again.” He sighs again.

“At least I know you’re safe here, even if you are in the wrong bed.” I freeze up. Did he just say hewants me here every night? He has got to be exaggerating right? This is still all new. Doesn’t he wanttime to himself? Although I have to admit it was nice waking up with him, even if I did make it allawkward.

Megan walks back in and stops in the doorway.

“This is really going to take some getting used to. Bels I’ve never seen you so… clingy. I’ll be upstairswaiting for you Ry. I might pick a movie for us to fall asleep to.” With that she stomps up the stairs.Bellamy smiles at me.

62- Nightmares and numbness

“She’s not exactly wrong.” He remarks. I stand up to follow Megan upstairs but he grabs me by thehand to prevent me walking away and stands up with me.

“I’ll walk you. Just give me a minute.” He starts gathering the takeout containers and I help him. Wedump it all in the kitchen bin then he grabs my hand and we both head up the stairs. We stop in thehallway between Bellamy and Megan’s bedroom doors. Instead of letting go of my hand, Bellamy tugsme closer. He presses his lips against mine lightly, then releases me entirely with another deep sigh.

“Go, I’ll see you in the morning.” I smile at him and nod before stepping into Megan’s room. He’s stillstanding there watching me as I close the door behind me.

As promised, Megan has picked out a generic chick–flick type movie and puts it on then turns. out thelights. The volume is low and we both curl up in her big bed under the warm blankets. I am just on theedge of sleep when I hear Megan whimper quietly. I turn to face her. In the dim light of the television Ican see that she is asleep but her eyebrows are furrowed and she has a frown on her face. Shewhimpers again and kicks the blankets away from herself, narrowly missing kicking me in the process. Ireach out and shake her awake.

“Megan? Darling you’re dreaming. Wake up.” She startles awake and then bursts into tears. Alarmed, Isit up and pull her into a hug. She collapses into my lap and buries her face against my stomachwrapping her arms around herself. I stroke her hair as she cries. This is more like what I expected toreplace when I first got here today.

“I’m sorry, I’m sorry. I thought I could hold it together and when I’m awake I can hide it, shove it all intothe back of my mind and focus on the moment, but I can’t control my dreams.” Megan half chokes thewords between sobs.

“I can’t stop replaying it. I killed him, I loved him and I killed him. I know that he betrayed me and thathe never really cared, but that just makes it worse. Why didn’t he care about me? I know I was going toleave him but I did love him, just not enough to marry him. Now I can’t stop seeing the look on his face,I can feel his blood running through my fingers. I, I had to scrub my nails to get the blood out fromunderneath them, you know? It dried under them. It know I shouldn’t feel bad, he was going to kill me.But I didn’t want to kill him, and for a few minutes I can convince myself that I don’t feel bad and that hedeserved it, but then I feel even worse because what kind of monster kills someone and doesn’t feelbad about it? I don’t know how I’m supposed to feel anymore.” By the end of her speech Megan hasstopped crying. except for a few tears running down her cheeks. She just sounds broken and my heartaches.

62–Nightmares and numbness

for her.

“I… I don’t think there’s anything you’re supposed to feel. You cared about him, it’s okay for you to besad that he’s gone, angry that he betrayed you, even guilty that he died. You’re not a bad person, if youwere then you wouldn’t be so worried and upset about it. The whole situation is awful. I feel terrible thatI let you go in there alone, that I didn’t say something sooner and avoid this whole thing. I even feelguilty that I left you alone to deal with the aftermath while I spoke with your brother. But I’m also happythat he’s gone, happy that you’re safe, happy that I made up with Bellamy. One feeling doesn’t makeany of the others less valid.” As I speak I continue stroking her hair and I adjust the blankets over us alittle so that Megan is covered again. Megan is silent for a couple minutes. I can hear her takingshallow breaths, then after a while they get deeper and she lets out a sigh.

“You’re right. I think it’s going to take me some time to work through all this. But please don’t feel badabout leaving me to talk to Bellamy. You guys getting together is the only good part about this. And youdidn’t leave me alone. Darrien stayed with me.” she points out. I

shrug.

“That doesn’t mean I don’t feel bad about it.” Megan eventually sits up and moves back onto. heroriginal side of the bed. I stretch out my now very numb legs and wait for feeling to return before lyingdown next to her.