70- Experience and events

I glance at the time before setting my morning alarm and dropping my phone on the side table. It’s lateenough that I could go to bed if I wanted to. But I don’t feel like it just yet, I might watch a movie to winddown. Not a TV show though. If I pick something with episodes I might get invested and the result willprobably be an all night binge. I dont have the self control for just one or two episodes. I grab my laptopand get comfy under my freshly washed covers. I sink into my endless pile of pillows and then realise Ididn’t turn off the light and curse quietly under my breath. Ugh, those stupid clapper, snapper lightswitching inventions don’t seem so stupid right now. With the kind of reluctance I imagine most peoplesave for having teeth pulled, I crawl out of my nest of pillows and turn off the light. I get comfy again,pick a movie and watch it till the end. I’m very nearly asleep when it finishes so I just close.

step on it my laptop and place it carefully on the ground by my bed. I’ll be careful not to step when I getup, I place it there so often it might as well be it’s permanent location.

I jerk awake to the sound of my phone chirping. At first, I assume it’s my alarm waking me up. for theday, but that can’t be right, it’s not even close to morning yet. I check my phone and replace I have amessage from megan.

Megan- You up?

Remembering Megan’s nightmares I decide to call her rather than text back. She picks up on

the first ring-

“Hy Ry.” She greets me. Her tone is small and almost child–like. From those two words alone, I can tellthat she is on the edge of tears.

“Aw honey. Are we talking about what’s wrong or are we talking about literally anything else?” I offer.Megan lets out a small sniffle.

“I think we’ve already talked about what needs discussing. Let’s talk about something else.” Sherequests. I wrack my sleepy brain for a topic of conversation. I settle on her classes, that should be asafe enough topic.

“You know, we’ve both been so busy lately, you’ve never actually mentioned what you are. actuallystudying. I know you’re taking university classes, what’s your goal?” I question. Megan lets out a halflaugh.

70- Experience and events

“It’s so strange that you don’t know that. I guess I forget that we’ve only known each other for a fewmonths. It feels like we’ve known each other forever. I’m taking a course on event management.” sheanswers, she already sounds less miserable so I push on..

“Did you have a career in mind?” I ask cheerfully.

“I didn’t before. I chose it originally because I wanted to get a degree of some kind. I’ve always likedstudying. But I chose my topic at random based on what seemed interesting at the time. Althoughrecently. Very recently that is, I’m thinking I might want to pursue the area further. My plan and goal formy life used to be to fall in love, get married and maybe have a few kids. But now

I’m thinking I might need a new dream. One that doesn’t depend on anyone else to make it happen. Idid enjoy planning for my reception and wedding. It might be interesting to see if I can replace a new goalin that kind of area. Maybe an event planning business?” Megan sounds nervous. Almost like she’sasking if it’s a good idea or even just expecting me to shoot it down. I rush to reassure her.

“I think that’s an amazi

idea. You would be so good at it. I can’t wait to see the things you do. And you do know that deciding tohave a career doesn’t mean you can’t have a family. You’ve had an awful experience, but don’t give upjust yet okay? I think you should aim for both.” I add seriously. Megan is quiet for a minute then lets outa deep breath.

“I guess we will have to see how it all turns out. If I don’t end up with kids I’ll just have to spoil yours.” Istart choking into the phone, not sure how to respond to that. Bellamy and I aren’t even close to havingchildren yet. Does he even want children? Do I? We haven’t actually discussed it. Well except for thatone time he mentioned us having hypothetical kids. Does that mean he does want children? I’ve neverbeen able to imagine having any, but that’s because I can barely afford to take care of myself, muchless someone else. That wouldn’t be the case anymore with Bellamy. Why did Megan have to bring thisup? I’m never going to sleep now! Megan is practically howling with laughter on the other end of theline.

“You know. I am definitely getting ahead of myself. Oh by the way, I’ve already decided what my firstbig event will be.” she starts. I jump on the topic, hoping to move away from. discussing my potentialoffspring.

“Really? That’s great! What event?” I ask eagerly. Megan answers seriously.

“An Alpha’s wedding of course. They’re traditionally huge events. You and Bellamy’s wedding

70- Experience and events

is going to make my failed trip down the aisle look like nothing in comparison!” Megan is alreadylaughing again. I groan.

“Megan!” I whine. She keeps laughing.

“You know, there might not be a set date yet but there is still plenty to plan. I might as well startplanning now since I can’t sleep anyway. Night Ryann!” I hear a click and realise Megan has hung upon me before I could complain. That girl is an absolute menace. Feeling a little vengeful, I take amoment to type out a text to Darrien.

Ryann- Hey did you know that Megan’s big life dream is to get married and have a big family?

I’m surprised when he answers right away. I thought he might be sleeping.

Darrien- I didn’t know that, but I’m not surprised by it. I’ll have to replace a chance to mention how much Ilike kids. Thanks for the tip

I lie there staring at my messages for a few minutes. I think I’ve sent more messages today than I havein my entire life. I remember Bellamy saying that they’re my family. Megan messaged me becauseshe’s having nightmares, Darrien thanked me for advice. For the first time in a long time I feel likepeople would notice if I wasn’t around. It makes me feel important. I feel a wave of sympathy forBellamy. I don’t know what I would do if anything happened to my new family. So I guess I canunderstand why he’s so stressed about my

safety. He keeps apologising for being overbearing, but essentially he is just showing

that he cares. I feel a little ungrateful for how I’ve responded to it lately. I remember him saying hedidn’t want to hang up without seeing me. Wishing me sweet dreams. Impulsively, I sit up and flick onmy light, blinking in the brightness I settle back against my pillows and open my phone camera. I take avideo of myself blowing a kiss. I refuse to play it back in case I look stupid and chicken out. Instead, Isend it to Bellamy.

Ryann- Sweet dreams Bellamy…-MOV.1

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