75- Holding and hiding

Bellamy starts towards his office door, carrying me with him. I wrap my arms around his neck to steadymyself.

“Bellamy! What are you doing? Put me down!” I demand but I’m breathless with laughter. He pauses inthe hallway. Still holding me close.

“Do I have to? I think I’d rather

just keep you here like this. I don’t want to let go.” I can’t

help but laugh again..

“Of course you need to put me down.” I insist.

“Hmm…” he considers me but doesn’t let go. I wriggle my way out of his arms and jump towards theground. He catches me but lowers me to my feet gently before hooking his arms around my waisttightly holding me close against his chest.

“Go get whatever you need to stay over at my place tonight.” I prompt him. Maybe a change. of focus iswhat’s needed to escape him, although I can’t say it’s unpleasant having him so close, I’m a littleunsure what his goal is. Bellamy leans down and kisses my neck.

“All I need is you.” He murmurs, snuggling into my neck. It tickles and I can’t help but push him back.He releases me immediately, tensing at first then relaxing when he realises I wasn’t stopping himbecause he did something wrong. He reaches for me again but I dodge him.

“You’re very sweet, but I would recommend bringing clothes, maybe a toothbrush and your phonecharger. Go on.” I skip away into the kitchen to catch my breath. It occurs to me that this is the first time

I’ll be bringing Bellamy home with the intention of staying overnight. All the other times were accidentsor he sort of just happened to be there, although I’m now realising that those occasions maybe weremore intentional than accidental on his end. In fact most of our interactions have been more intentionalon his part than on mine. Well, except for the bracelet I bought today. Maybe that’s why he’s being soaffectionate. I did say it was to reassure him, I suppose he needed that more than I thought. I grab myphone and send a message to Aaron.

Ryann- Bellamy is taking me home tonight so you can relax. I’ll see you tomorrow. Same time

75- Holding and hiding

as today if that works for you?”

My phone pings with a response from Aaron. I’m not sure what I expected but I snort out a

rather unattractive laugh when I realise he’s just sent a thumbs up. He’s even quiet via text.

Bellamy returns faster than I expected and is clutching a large–ish bag. For someone who claims toonly need me, he’s sure bringing a lot of stuff. We head out to his car and ever the gentleman, heopens the door for me. We’ve only been driving for a minute or two when Bellamy reaches over with hisfree hand and grabs mine, keeping his eyes on the road. He doesn’t say anything but just smilescontentedly. That’s sweet I guess. I don’t drive but I can’t help but wonder if it’s difficult driving with onlyone hand. He seems to be managing alright though so I guess it’s fine. Bellamy and I discuss potentialdinner options and decide on an easy pasta dish after I search for a recipe online. When we reach theshops, Bellamy rushes to open my car door for me again and offers me his arm. I take it and I’m a littleconfused for a moment when he moves my hand. Instead of lightly resting on his arm he wraps itaround his and pulls me close with it. We wander the aisles together with Bellamy holding a basketwhile I drop in the ingredients. Every now and then Bellamy will point at a snack or other item with ourjoined hands and ask me to add it to the basket. By the time we reach the register, the basket is

overflowing, even though we’re only making the one meal. How much food does he really need?Maybe he’s just short on a few things and wants to stock up while we’re here because he grabs a fewpersonal items. Bellamy doesn’t release my arm until it’s time to pay. I notice that he takes a moment tobrush his fingers across his new bracelet as he takes a card. out of his wallet. I hoped he would like itbut I didn’t imagine he would be as pleased with it as he is. The woman running the check out appearsmiddle aged and while Bellamy is putting his wallet away she winks at me, fans her face with one handand mouths something to me that I’m fairly certain is ‘wow.‘ I take a minute to consider what she’sseeing. Bellamy is wearing dark blue jeans and a grey shirt. His dark hair is messy from when he and Iboth ran fingers through it earlier. His golden eyes are stunning and as he glances at me they soften ina way that makes me melt a little. Okay lady I get it. Wow indeed. I smile at her and give a half shrug.Bellamy and I head back to the car and make the short drive to my place. The whole time he keepsslipping me sideways glances and smiles. I don’t think I’ve ever seen him so cheerful. He was stressedout earlier, the change is just so extreme. He also can’t seem to go more than a minute without replaceingsome excuse to touch me. Is this normal for him? If it is, how much has he been holding back? Howmuch is he still holding back?

“You’re different tonight.” I comment. Bellamy goes still, his expression frozen in place.

“Is that a good or bad thing?” His tone is neutral but seems cautious.

“Neither, I’m just making an observation. You seem happy I think. Also. very… affectionate.” Bellamylets out a snort of a laugh.

“You think I’m being clingy.” He remarks. I shrug.

“Maybe a little. It’s not a bad thing, it’s just like I said, different. I was wondering why.” I explain. Bellamyparks and cuts the engine. He turns and meets my eyes, basically locking me in place with his gaze.

“Ry, in a five minute period you gave me the most perfect gift and demonstrated how much you care formy family. The fact that you took the time, that you care…” he inhales a deep breath.

“How could I be anything but completely obsessed with you? I suppose I’m not doing a particularlygood job of hiding it tonight.” He admits. My jaw drops open. That was a much more extreme answerthan I was expecting..

“I… I don’t want you to hide anything. I mean, I want to keep this between us and our friends for now,but…” I don’t know how to finish my sentence. Bellamy reaches out and pushes hair back from myface. His expression is serious but kind.

“Ry, don’t take this the wrong way, but I’m fairly sure you would run for the hills if I was completelyhonest about everything right now.” He explains then quickly continues before I can respond.

“I’m not saying it’s a problem. You’ve asked for time and to take it slow and I can completelyunderstand that. There’s nothing wrong with wanting that. But I am doing my best not to scare you offagain.” Bellamy runs his fingers over his bracelet.

“Don’t worry about it too much. We’re both adjusting to a lot of changes, the answer to why I’m actingweird is that the things you did this evening have me about ready to swoon, and

I’m still trying to work out exactly how far I can go before you stop me.” Bellamy winks at I’m still tryingto work out exactly how far I can go b

1. me. I try to act casually, in reality I feel like I’m about to hyperventilate.

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