92- Seeing and staying

“Uhh, so… Where should I leave this?” I hold up the bag awkwardly, then immediately lower it again.It’s heavier than I realised. Bellamy freezes and looks me over, a calculating expression on his face.

“Well, you can stay with me if you want. Or I can set up one of the empty bedrooms. If you don’t wantto be alone or… with me… then I’m sure Megan wouldn’t mind if you stayed with her.” He seems to beassessing my expression. I don’t even know what kind of look is on my face right now, but he must notbe replaceing it encouraging because he doesn’t look too happy.

“What would YOU prefer?” I ask. I figure it’s better to have all the information before making a decision.

“I won’t lie to you. Right now the idea of you being anywhere I can’t see you leaves me on the verge ofa panic attack. But I should also say I always want you to stay with me. I don’t want to pressure youthough. I just want to make it clear that I’m not just saying it because

I’m…” He stops

trying to think of a good way to say it, probably looking for a word that

won’t scare me off or freak me out more than I already am.

“Concerned?” I suggest. He shrugs.

“Sure, concerned. But don’t worry about me. What do YOU want? I’ll replace a way to make it work.” Hepromises. The fact that he is being so accommodating, particularly when I can see that it is nearlyphysically painful for him to make the offer makes me want to accommodate.

him instead. I’m just a little concerned that if I’m staying in his room it will make things hard for him(innuendo completely intended) but I suppose he can make that decision for himself. I’m also worried

that it will become glaringly obvious to people that I’m meant to be his

mate.

“I… I wouldn’t mind staying with you. As long as it remains private, I’m still not ready to deal witheveryone, particularly not while dealing with some psycho leaving me creepy notes.” I

shudder and he runs a warm hand down my arm.

“It’ll be fine. Guests aren’t allowed upstairs. That’s for family only.” He states firmly. I raise an eyebrow.I’ve been making myself comfortable all over this house, I didn’t realise there

were rules.

92- Seeing and staying

“You’re family. Doesn’t matter if it’s official or not.” He gives as an explanation. I smile weakly and nodmy acceptance. My eyes are drawn to a spot of blood on Bellamy’s grey top. The bandage on my armhasn’t bled through, so it’s most likely transferred from what I’m wearing. I wrinkle my nose and lookdown at myself.

“I think I need to clean up a bit.” I tell him. He nods eagerly.

“How about that bath?” he suggests. That actually sounds amazing. I don’t think I’ve ever really had thechance to relax in a bath. Group homes and cheap apartments don’t really

allow for luxuries like baths.

“I think that sounds perfect.” I tell him warmly. He takes my bag from me, although I was only holdingthe strap while the bag rested on the floor. We head upstairs. Bellamy drops off my bag in his room,

leaving it on his bed. He then leads me to the main bathroom which I

haven’t actually used. I’ve only really used the guest bathroom downstairs. The room is gorgeous, donein grey and gold with one of those freestanding tubs that most people can

only dream about.

“My- our room has an ensuite. But it doesn’t have a tub.” He explains as he moves around thebathroom. Then, as if it’s totally natural, he starts running the bath. He then starts sorting through thecupboard and sits back with an ‘aha‘ sound.

“I knew my sister had a stash of bath stuff somewhere.” He mutters as he tips a generous amount ofwhat must be bubble bath into the water. He continues pointing out the towels and locations of soap aswell as Megan’s hair products.

“She won’t mind if you use a bit. And I’ll replace it tomorrow if there is an issue. Are there any productsyou like? I’ll get them for you while I’m at it.” he offers. Is it weird that he’s running the bath for me? Icould definitely do that myself… I suppose he is just trying to take care of me, I guess it’s kind of sweet,right?

“You don’t have to get me stuff, I have my own and I have my own money.” I insist. He shrugs it off andI really don’t think he is listening to what I’m saying. I sigh and roll my eyes. That’s a battle for anothertime I think. The bath is almost full and Bellamy turns off the water and

gestures to the tub.

“All yours.” He smiles proudly. I stand there waiting for him to move but he just stays where

92- Seeing and staying

he is.

“Uh… are you just going to stand there… while I take a bath?” I say pointedly, an eyebrow raised.Bellamy’s expression falls and I see horror and fear flash across his face. He glances at the door and Iswear he actually goes a little pale.

“I hadn’t thought about…” he looks vaguely unwell. Did it honestly not occur to him that for me to take abath he would be expected to leave? Or maybe he didn’t realise just how reluctant he would be.

“You’re really struggling with this, aren’t you?” I ask, curious and a little sympathetic. He

nods.

“I know it doesn’t make sense, it’s paranoid. But I need you where I can see you. I… I didn’t think. Thiswas a bad idea. But I thought that once you were safe, in my home, that it might fade a little. But ithasn’t, not at all.” he sounds helpless. I sigh and consider my options. I could forgo the bath, but I wasso looking forward to it, and I need to get cleaned up. Also Bellamy put so much effort into setting it upfor me. But if he won’t leave… I mean, the bath has a lot of bubbles… would it really be so bad?

“Ry? You could have a bath tomorrow or something? I should have thought this through. I really didn’tmean to-” he starts saying, anxiously. I hold up a hand to stop him.

“Do you need to SEE me or just make sure I’m close?” I ask, cautiously. Bellamy’s eyebrows fly uptowards his hairline.

“I just need to be able to replace you if I look. To reassure myself that you’re okay.” He tries to explain. Icross my arms over my chest and assess his body language. He looks pretty miserable. He’s tenseand clearly on high alert, that might make my plan difficult for him.

“Can you keep your eyes closed if you stay?” I ask seriously. He pauses and thinks.

“It would be… difficult. I desperately want to keep an eye out for danger right now.” He

admits.

“What’s worse, leaving the room or keeping your eyes closed?” I persist. This time, he doesn’t hesitate.

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