Sentenced to Marriage by MadlainQ
Chapter 78

Emotionless

I couldn't cry even though I wanted to. For some sick reason, my body decided that it would be better if I kept all my intense emotions rotting inside me instead of crving them out. I lay on my bed, thinking about how this could happen. I was so engaged in his war that I poured my heart and soul into it, but he decided to crush it. Even if it was a twisted way of his to protect me, it destroyed everything and all the trust between us. I was certain of him, to the point where I wanted to risk my life for him because I thought that he would do the same... Was I only fooling myself?

I stared at the ceiling, analyzing the situation of my kidnapping with a brand-new filter. What would have happened if I hadn't found my way out of there? Would Aren have risked his life to save mine, or perhaps it was merely my foolish assumption? Maybe he had never planned to enter that building in the first place. Maybe his sole purpose had always been to catch the one who wanted him dead? I felt that my heart grew bitter with every new "maybe" that appeared inside my mind.

"Idiot..." I muttered to myself, letting out a humorless laugh. "You wanted to believe in a fairy

tale, but such doesn't exist."

I struggled with shallow breathing for another hour until suddenly, my chest stopped hurting, as if someone put out the fire consuming my heart. Now it became almost cold, easily letting go of all the necessary emotions.

"23 and a half more months, Cora," I mumbled. "At least you didn't sell yourself cheap."

It looked like all women from the Bell family were cursed, and I wasn't an exception. Perhaps God didn't want us to be loved by men, but he certainly wanted us to be strong, and I needed to toughen up. I should have learned to value my heart long ago, and yet I kept repeating my mistakes. Aren was right about one thing: I needed to suck it up.

After contemplating for another five hours while staring at the ceiling, I got up from my bed with my heart carefully patched and a new plan for the rest of my life that didn't involve Aren in it.

For the first time, I got out of bed before Aren. I could still hear him snoring when I passed his bedroom on my way downstairs to the kitchen. I preferred it that way. I made us coffee, some toast, and vegetable salad as if nothing had changed... Well, superficially it didn't, but it felt completely different. I sat down and ate my portion of the salad, carefully calculating everything that needed to be done. I became completely task-oriented. By the time I was finishing my cup of coffee, Aren came down.

"Good morning," he said in a slightly sleepy voice, the one that used to make my heart flutter only yesterday

"Good morning," I replied dryly. "Your coffee is getting cold. I also made two copies of the recording and hid it on two well-protected virtual drives, just in case. Now I'll go upstairs to finish getting ready to leave. After my announcement, I got up and started walking upstairs.

"Cora" I heard his warm voice, and all my defense walls fell down. I glanced over my shoulder, struggling to keep my face indifferent, just like I did a few seconds ago. He gave me brief smile "I'm glad we've come to terms."

If he wanted to rub salt on my wounds, he did a tremendous job. I swallowed hard, trying to get rid of the lump in my throat. "Yes, we did," I replied, turning away from him. If I had any doubts that the road of indifference was my best and only choice, then they all disappeared at that very moment, "Come to terms, my ass," I muttered under my breath while climbing the stairs, I wanted to scream and hit him hard, but would it change anything? I needed to swallow the pill no matter how agonizingly bitter it was. Of course, that didn't change the fact that I had already planned to mess up his life in every possible way a hacker could as soon as our contractual marriage ended.

I barely said a word to him while we were on our way to the FBL Despite telling myself that! should act naturally and contain my emotions, I felt it wasn't working at all. I was all emotions - I only changed their type, from fluffy and mushy to stinging and razor-sharp. I tried to hide them underneath a carefully crafted smile, but I couldn't erase them from my eyes,

"Are you nervous, sunshine?" Aren's question brought my blood to a boil. Barely restraining myself from exploding, I hissed, "We shouldn't use any nicknames...at least when we are alone."

He chuckled. "But I like calling you sunshine."

"Well, I don't," I retorted and turned my head away from him. "I don't want to... misunderstand you anymore."

He went silent as if my words startled him and replied only after a while, "All right. I won't call you like that again."

Yet another stab in the heart. It hurt no matter how many times I told myself that it was better this way. I knew that I needed to build a concrete wall around my heart soon, otherwise every second I spent with him would become torture...

When we were almost in front of the FBI office, Jack texted, asking us to meet him at the nearby coffee shop instead of his office. He also insisted that we park the car elsewhere and then walk to the place of our meeting. It sounded a bit strange, but we agreed that Jack had to have his reasons. Marcus stopped the car a block away and checked the area before allowing us to leave the car,

"I don't see anyone who could be following, but I suggest keeping your eyes open," Marcus said, opening the car door.

Aren nodded before offering his arm. "Let's go," he tossed dryly.

I clenched my jaw. Was that what our relationship would look like? I hated that hostility slowly creeping between us when the memory of his caresses and kisses was so vivid in my head.

I slid my hand around his bent arm, and I could feel him becoming tense. Had my touch suddenly become intolerable to him?"If you feel uncomfortable like this, I can simply walk

beside you," I suggested, barely squeezing the words through my teeth. "No." He placed his hand on mine, making sure it stayed around his arm. "It's all good." I inwardly rolled my eyes at him, unable to comprehend his reactions. As we walked, I could see Aren discreetly glancing at our surroundings, which made me more nervous by the second. Were we in some kind of danger? Was Agent Jack Collins in some kind of danger? Who was the one supposed to be following us? Was it someone connected to that guy who kidnapped me? Or was it someone hired by the Wintons? All those uncertainties made me tighten my grip around Aren's arm, and I could swear that he smirked as I did it. Jerk.

We walked into the coffee shop Jack mentioned, and then we went upstairs and chose the table by the corner, just like he instructed us in his text message. He joined us a minute later, panting as if he had run there.

"I apologize for the secrecy but don't think it's safe to talk inside the office anymore," he said, sitting by our table. "What's going on, Jack?" Aren leaned forward on the table, a frown painting his forehead. "I don't know what kind of connections this Packton guy has, but there are rumors that our current Assistant Director in charge of the New York field office will be offered an early retirement and Packton is taking his place!" Jack spoke agitatedly. "But wasn't this guy corrupted?" I asked, realizing that he was still handling Callan's case. "Yeah, that guy is definitely dirty, but that's not all..." I sighed, feeling the incoming headache. "There's more..?"

Jack leaned closer and smiled wryly. "I just got suspended."

"Suspended for what?!" Aren snapped. "I assume that Packton is going to press the prosecution to form charges against me," he said nervously.

I swallowed, being more than certain that his suspension had everything to do with our case." What can you be accused of?"

"In the best case scenario, for dereliction of duty..." He paused and clenched his fists. "In the worst case scenario... they will accuse me of conspiracy to murder Callan Winton."