Chapter 55 When I Find My Mate

There was only one person who could help us, and that was his mother. Luther wouldn't do it, thatwas for certain.

I decided to go speak to her, but first, I needed to rest. I had no idea how long we had actually beenin that other realm, but I felt like it had been days since I slept.

Before I got up off of Theo's bed, I smoothed his hair. back. “Don’t worry, Theo. We'll figure it out.”Leaning forward, I brushed my lips against his. I wasn't sure why I'd even done it, but it just felt rightat the time.

The moment I sat up, I realized how foolish I was acting. If he had been awake, he would've pushedme away and told me I was disgusting or something.

Maybe nothing that harsh, but he hadn't ever kissed me because he'd wanted to. He'd always beenafter something- from my blood to fooling Raymond back in my pack.

No, Prince Theo certainly didn't have romantic feelings for me. And that was okay. We could just befriends. Even if that was the extent of our relationship, I'd be sure to help him. He needed someoneto have his back after all of this time beside his Beta.

I went to sleep, but early the next morning, I got up, showered, dressed, checked on Theo andfound him still asleep and then went to see Lady Nita.

She didn't live in the castle proper like the rest of the royal

family. No, she lived in a palace a little bit away from the rest of the family.

She knew I was coming before I reached her door. The servants definitely let her know. When Iknocked on her door, I half expected her to send me away.

Instead, the servant who had opened the door, a middle- aged man dressed smartly in a butlersuniform, moved aside so I could see the queen clearly.

I bowed my head to her. “Your Highness, “I began. “Please help Prince Theo. I promise you that I willleave the palace af- ter everything is sorted.”

Her eyebrows arched, and for a moment, I thought she might laugh in my face and tell me to getout. “Why is that?” she asked me.

I shrugged. I didn’t want to tell her the truth, that he had helped me, both in the dream world andback in my pack, that I owed him for helping me.

It seemed to me that the best thing for me to do was to get out of the way. He'd already spent toomuch time with me. He needed to focus on the other girls to see if his mate might be there. Itwasn't me, after all.

“I just want to help him. If you'll fix him, as soon as I'm done with the berry, I'll leave. I have things toattend to in my own pack, after all.” I looked into her eyes for a second before I added, “Please.”“Fine,” she said with a sharp nod. “But no matter what happens, no matter what he says, you mustkeep your promise. Do you understand? If you don't, there will be conse-quences.”

“I understand.” What more could I say? I'd already made up my mind.

With that, she turned to her servant. “Cedrick, let's go,” she said, and she started off back towardPrince Theo's wing of the castle, the servant-Cedrick-coming along with her.

He seemed to be pretty loyal to her from what I could tell. He was also the one who accompaniedher last night.

Once we were back in Theo's bedroom, I stayed back out of the way and let her do what sheneeded to do. Once again, the blue light glowed from her hands, and she directed it at him. Theoilluminated, and after a few seconds, he began to stir, actually lifting up off of the bed slightlybefore he came to a rest again.

The blue light dissipated, and Theo sat up in a start, star- ing at his mother. “What happened?” heblurted out

“I'm glad to see you're feeling better,” she remarked, sar- castically. “There. You're awake. For now.”“For now?” he asked. Then, his eyes fell on me.

"What did you do?” he asked me, and I immediately stepped back.

"What did you do?” he demanded again.

I couldn't answer him, so he turned back to his mother. “Whatever she promised you, I will notagree to it. I asked you not to meddle!”

26 1x

With those words, he doubled over, his face crinkling with pain, and it was clear that whatever washappening, it was hurting him severely.

"What's happening?” I asked. “Are you doing that to him?”

Lady Nita shook her head. Then, back to Theo, she said, “You can and you will obey me. I've alreadytold her, this is how it must be!”

“I do not need you!" Prince Theo shouted through his pain.

“Your Highness, Prince Theo! You mustn't speak to her that way!”

Cedrick’s voice caught me off-guard. I wasn't expecting. the servant to say anything at all.

Neither was Theo as he turned to look at him. “What was that?"

Even Lady Nita was shocked. “Cedrick, shut your mouth! Ciana, leave us.”

“Ciana, you stay!” Theo ordered.

Lady Nita gave me a sharp look. “If you want me to help him, leave now.”

I looked at Theo and back to his mother, then lowered my head to both of them and walked out ofthe room.

*Theo

"What do you want?” I asked my mother, “I've made it

clear. You cannot force me. Now, I'll say this one last time. Leave me alone!”

Credrick dropped on his knees. “Your Highness! You've misunderstood your mother!”

"Oh really? What have I misunderstood? That she despises me? That she spewed her hatredeverywhere and she never wanted me to be happy?”

Cedrick wanted to say something but my mother raised her hand to stop it. “Cedrick, be quiet.”“I'm sorry, Your Highness, but I cannot. Prince Theo needs to understand...” The servant waspleading, his hands folded together in front of him.

“He doesn't need to understand anything!” she command- ed. “Just leave it be.”

But her most trusted servant wasn't listening to her. He turned back to face me. “Your Highness.Your mother cares about you. You might not know, but she was watching you from far away, shewas looking forward to your visit every time you were outside of the door, and you had no idea howprecious she treated the bookmark-"

"Cedrick!” My mother interrupted her servant one more time and I saw panic on her face.

"Yeah right, so precious that she threw it on the ground!”

“She kept it. She still has it! After all of these years, it's tucked inside of her favorite book!"

I didn't know what to say. I was shocked. How was it pos-sible?

If what he said was true, why had Mother been acting this way?

“The bookmark,” Cedrick whispered. “She didn't toss it aside like you think she did. She kept itbecause she does love you, she really does!”

"Cedrick, if you say one more word, I swear to the God- dess above I will lock you up in thedungeon!” my mother warned him.

He must not have taken her threats seriously because the servant didn't back down. “I'm sorry, mylady, but you have to know that letting this continue to go on isn't what's best for either one ofyou.”

My mother tried to deny it. “I do not love him!”

But this time, I could hear the emotion in her voice crum- bling. She was saying the same sort ofhorrible things she'd always said to me, but did she mean them?

“Cedrick, tell me the truth!” I demanded

“Prince Theo,” Cedrick lowered his head, “you know what it is that makes your powers soar out ofcontrol. It isn't just fear and hate-it's also love. I'm sure you'd figure that out.”

I mulled over what the servant was shouting to me and slowly began to nod.

"She was trying to protect you!”

“Protect me how? Letting me face those hideous murder- ers by myself?”

“If she showed her love to you, you would lose control! Your power can only be controlled when youare able to con- trol your emotions. Your Highness! Love is the most powerful emotion of all, and ifyou allow yourself to succumb to it, it will make everything within you boil over in an explosion ofpower! Think about how you would feel if she showed you love, and you end up hurting her, orworse killing her! How would you feel then?”

“You would hate yourself even more! And the trauma that you would go through would turn youinto a true monster! Therefore, Lady Nita did what she thought was best for you, which was to keepthe distance!”

"Cedrick how dare you...” my mother whispered, however, everything that could be said had beensaid.

“But I have the dreamberry,” I argued. “The dreamberry al- ways helps me to control my power. Aslong as I have those and wear my gloves, I will be able to control it!”

“No, that's not true,” Cedrick said.

Mother was looking at the floor now, as if she had decid- ed to just let the conversation go onaround her. “The dream- berry helps when your emotions are fairly even. If your emo- tions begin toebb out of control, then even the dreamberry will not be able to stop the ramifications from youroutbursts of emotion, regardless if it is a positive emotion like love or negative emotions like hatred.it is still the darkness within your blood that will bubble to the surface and lash out at those aroundyou!"

I shook my head in disbelief. “This all seems like a great excuse to me...”

“I watched her suffer!” Cedrick blurted out. “I watched her ry herself to sleep at night because shewanted to be with “ou so badly! But she couldn't. By teaching you what it was ike to be all alone, togo without her love, she was preparing “ou for what it would be like for the rest of your life.”

“For the rest of my life?" I let out a bitter laugh and took a deep breath in.

I'd always known my fate was cursed. I'd be okay staying away from people most of my life, but Ithought one day, I'd ind a solution for the damn power that made me this freak. The dreamberrygave me hope, but it turned out to be a minor elief at most, not a real solution.

I was destined to be alone, whether I liked it or not, and :hat was it.

I looked at the woman in front of me, and all of a sudden, the emotions I had for her all mingledtogether and then fad- ed away. I wasn't sad or angry, neither did I feel love or care. Everything justseemed... so flat, as if I lost my ability to com- prehend my feelings.

And this was exactly what she wanted anyway, because it was the best for me and everyone elsearound me, according to her.

“As you wished, Mother, I'm used to being alone now. I'm used to treating everyone cold andeverything indifferently and I'd accepted that.”

"Good, Theodore.” She finally looked at me. Her expres- sion hadn't changed much but I heard theapproval in her tone. I couldn't tell what she was thinking, just like most peo- ple had no idea whatwas in my mind. I was truly a product of my upbringing.

“But tell me, how am I going to control my emotions when I replace my mate?”

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