Sold as the Alpha King's Breeder
Chapter 627

Chapter 127 : You're Not Coming Back

*Lena*®

Xander set the food down on a makeshift desk in the corner of his tent. He broke a load of crusty,golden bread in half, handing one half to me as I lingered in the tent's entrance, taking it all in.

He had his own tent as an Alpha. It was roughly the size of the cottage we'd stayed in during ourtime in Crimson Creek, and just as sparsely furnished. There was only a cot to sleep on, a desk madeof crates and pallet board, and a stool, which I noticed was broken as if someone had manhandled itand then tried to put it back together.

I took a bite of the bread, which was freshly baked and still warm. I wasn't particularly hungry, butXander looked as though he hadn't eaten in days. He tilted a bowl of soup into his mouth, drinkingit down without bothering to use a spoon, and placed the empty bowl on the desk. He'd eaten thebread while I was looking around, and now he was just standing there, staring at me like I'ddisappear again if he blinked.

“I swear I'm really here,” I said with a soft laugh. His eyes glimmered for a moment before he lookeddown at the ground, shaking his head.

I sat on the cot, shifting my weight. It was hard, and I wondered if sleeping on the floor would bemore comfortable. I looked down at the floor, which was covered in dried mud and soot-maybenot.

But then something caught my eye, something shiny that was reflecting the evening sunlightcoming through the tent flap. I peered down at it and froze, noting three empty whiskey bottlestucked beneath the cot.

I met Xander's gaze, noticing the dark circles beneath his eyes. He was no longer the young manwho'd once been known as the King of Morhan University, no longer that guy wearing sweatpantsand a black windbreaker who'd put himself between me and Slate that fateful, unassuming day,when the course of my life had changed forever.

His hair was longer now, the black curls nearly touching his shoulders. His muscles rippled beneathhis shirt and were cut to a fine finish, his forearms snaking with veins as he leaned back and grippedthe edge of the desk, watching me.

His jaw was covered in a scruffy but short beard, like he hadn't shaved in a while.

He looked... lived in, like he'd seen it all, and then some.

But his eyes were the same, still nearly black and flaked with amber.

Xander, my... my Xander, my mate.

And I knew that he was my mate. I knew without a doubt that we were fated. I felt that bondstronger than ever, a product of the spell that had given me my wolf powers early. It was alwayshim, and would always be him.

"How are you?" he asked.

I blinked up at him, a ghost of a smile touching his lips. He knew it was a silly question, but what doyou ask someone who'd practically risen from the dead?

“I'm fine," I replied, my smile weakening as I noticed the scars running up the lengths of his arms. Ithought of the empty bottles of liquor beneath his bed and felt a crack form across my heart. Icouldn't ask how he was, because I already knew.

He wasn't fine. It could be months, or even years, before he could honestly say he was fine again.“Carly Maddox is alive." It was all I could think to say. Xander only nodded, turning away from me ashe ran his fingers over a stack of papers on his desk.

“I know. Word was sent to her mother in Valoria. She's seeking asylum there—"

“Carly had a baby a few hours before I came-before I came back," I breathed, and he turned around,looking surprised. “Her... uhm, the father of her son-they are in love. The baby wasn't-"

“Wasn't the king's?"

"No," I said, and his eyes softened.

He ran his tongue over his bottom lip, sighing deeply as he leaned on the desk again, crossing hisarms over his chest.

"Her father died in battle,” he said, grief flashing behind his eyes.

He looked at my belly. I'd unknowingly placed my palms against it, the child within moving againstmy touch. I felt a sting of guilt ripple through my heart as I thought of Carly's father, then my own.Carly's parents had waited for years for news of their daughter's whereabouts, dead or alive. Herfather had been alive within days of her arrival back in our realm. They'd just missed each other, andnow Carly had a son, their grandchild, a child who would never know his grandfather.

“Your dad sent dozens of search parties looking for you,” Xander said in a whisper, his eyesdowncast. “Troy was the one who put an end to it."

“I'll replace Troy later. I'll-I'll get in contact with my parents somehow, tonight. I just need a minute" 1swallowed against the pain twisting my stomach into a knot. I imagined my father out in those hillsoutside of Crimson Creek, his face shadowed by desperation, fear, and an indescribable grief.When I opened my mouth to speak again, the words didn't stop flowing. I told Xander everything—about the spellbook, how I'd been given my powers to shift early, how Maeve and I had come toBreles, how Oliver and I had come looking for him. I told him about the Night God and the temple,what I'd seen within that altar and how I'd come back.

The sun was setting by the time I'd finished. Xander was still on the other side of the tent, and I wasdrowning in the distance between us. It had been weeks since we'd had a moment alone together,months since we'd had any peace. I missed him. I missed him desperately, and he was standingbarely five feet away.

A horn sounded in the distance, and Xander slowly turned his head to the tent flap.

“That's curfew for the warriors who aren't on patrols tonight," he said, more to himself than to me.“I... Lena, I have to leave in the morning. I'm going back to Egoren.”

“I-" Whatever I planned to say next fizzled out on the tip of my tongue.

Xander uncrossed his arms and straightened to his full height.

“I'm not leaving you behind. I'll come back for you. I promised I'd be back before our baby is born,and I mean to keep that promise.”

“I know," I whispered, but the words felt hollow. We had made each other so many promises, andhad come so close to never having the opportunity to stay true to them, countless times.

“I need to speak to Adrian," he said, taking a few steps toward me before he halted, heaving achest-rattling breath. I saw pain flicker across his eyes, physical pain. My eyes once again raked overhis scars, which were still reddened and barely healed. He was hurting; I could see it in his eyes. “I'llbe back soon, okay? I'll grab some more food-"

“I'm fine, really,” I said quickly, giving him a weak smile as I sat on the edge of the cot.

Alma had fed me until I felt like I would burst, and she'd sent me and Gideon to Breles with a basketof food I could barely finish by the time we reached what was left of the once great city.

The highway was barely passable. We'd drive through Morhan instead, around the massive lake thatseparated the two cities. Morhan was deserted, and it was obvious that battles had taken placethere as well. The brick buildings I knew so well were empty, blackened shells and broken glasscovered every street.

Xander gave me a once over, one hand gripping the tent flap as if he was reluctant to leave. I wastired, and lines of fatigue were evident on my face, I knew that much.

“I'll tell Troy you're here and resting,” he said softly. “He can... I'll tell him to replace you in themorning."

I felt a weight settle on my shoulder as I met his eyes. What had felt like only minutes to me hadbeen two excruciating weeks for him, in the middle of a war zone, no less. The distance between usnow was... I couldn't explain it. Something was fractured.

He tilted his head toward the bottles beneath the cot, a flash of guilt shimmering behind his eyes.“I've been having trouble sleeping,” he said.

I only nodded. I didn't blame him, not a bit.

I woke to the sound of the tent flap falling back into place. A soft glow from a lantern touched myeyes, and I opened them to replace Xander moving across the tent. He set something down on thedesk, turning to me with his lantern in his hand as I struggled to sit up on the cot. My backscreamed in protest, the thin bedroll that had been laid over the cot not nearly enough to make itcomfortable.

"Go back to sleep—"

“I was awake," I grumbled, rubbing sleep from my eyes. I heard Xander exhale, and the lantern lightfaded as he turned his back to me.

I noticed the duffle bag that was now on the floor. It hadn't been there before, and I wondered ifhe'd been in and out of the tent during the evening while I was asleep. Clothes had been tossedinside without being folded, thrown haphazardly and spilling over the opening of the bag.

"What time is it?" I asked, stretching my arms over my head. My back popped, and I sighed as thefeeling spread across my middle.

"Around one in the morning, I think," he said in a hoarse whisper. He shuffled some paperworkaround on the desk before turning back to me, leaving the lantern on the desk.

“Are you not going to sleep?”

“I don't think there's room for two," he smiled, and that made, no matter how small and fleeting,warmth ripple through my chest.

"We've shared worse places to sleep,” I said softly, not daring to break eye contact.

He was still standing so far away from me, still out of reach. He was still looking at me like thesecond he touched me again, I would disappear.

“You're not wrong about that," he whispered. He sighed, running his fingers through his hair, thenbegan walking toward the entrance of the tent. He looked outside for a moment before closing theflap entirely, buttoning it shut.

We had four hours until his ship to Egoren left the port. For whatever reason, I felt like four hourswas all we would have together for a long time.

Maybe even forever.

“You're not coming back, are you?" I asked, but I felt as though I already knew the answer.