Chapter 140 : Labor Pains

*Lena*®

Xander was walking a few paces behind me. He glanced down at his watch from time to time,especially whenever I bent over with my hands on my knees, trying to catch my breath every time acontraction ripped from my lower back and settled over my belly.

“Are you doing okay?" he asked as I wiped tears from my eyes, refusing to look at him.

"What am I supposed to do with a newborn at our wedding, Xander?" I asked hotly, swallowingback a sob. I was delirious with pain and heavy, crippling anxiety. I felt several conflicting emotionsat once, and all of them threatened to send me over the edge into a full-blown breakdown.

I couldn't blame anyone but myself for having our wedding only a week before my due date.Summer Solstice was a major holiday, and it felt like the perfect time to gather our family togetherto celebrate. I figured Alexis would be right on time.

But she had other plans—early plans, it seemed.

Maybe I could blame Xander a little bit. He needed to return to Egoren before the end of thesummer, which meant we were pressed for time anyway. I felt an irrational rage toward him as thecontraction continued to run down my back like claws, but that fury began to wane as the painloosened its grip on my body.

"Whatever it is we're supposed to do with a newborn," he replied, keeping his expression neutraland avoiding eye contact. “Feed them, change them, replace them a warm body to snuggle against-"“You're not helping!"

"What can I do, Lena?" he said, glancing at me before looking down at his watch. I straightened upas the contraction began to ease. “That was a long one—"

I started walking away from him, and he gave me a few seconds to put some distance between usbefore he followed.

It didn't take him long to catch up with me, however. We walked along the edge of the frontgarden, and for the first time in my life, the smell of the summer blooms made me sick to mystomach. I paused to try to catch my breath and glanced up at Xander, who was watching meclosely.

“I'm not having a contraction!"

"Alright, alright,” he murmured, his eyes still laser-focused on my own. “Do you want to sit down fora moment?"

“Not here,” I breathed, sucking in my breath and charging forward again. Xander sighed as hefollowed through the garden and out the other side, where we walked along the treeline of theforest that surrounded the castle. The grass that took up the fields in the back of the castle wasnearly as tall as me, but when we reached the edge of the sprawling castle grounds, we came upona clearing with soft, short grass and moss. A creek bubbled through the trees and ran across theclearing, and I quickly took off my slippers and dipped my feet in the water, sighing in relief.

"Are your feet hurting?”

“Yes. Ahh..." I bent forward, my hands resting on my knees as another contraction rippled over mymidsection. I found it hard to breathe for a moment and felt Xander's hand resting on my lowerback as the pain thrummed and then ebbed away.

I knew he was watching his watch as closely as he was watching me. He was timing my contractions.We'd taken a single childbirth class during our time in Mirage. A midwife had come to the castle,and we sat on the floor in the library with our legs crossed. She'd led us through several positionsthat might help me feel more comfortable while I was in labor, almost all of them assisted byXander in some way. We'd giggled and joked through it, and I'd been happy, enjoying Xander'scompany and enthusiasm.

But right now I didn’t want to be touched. I didn't want to be looked at, and I didn't want to betalked to.

I was grateful that Xander could sense this. He was lingering a few feet away from me, peeringdown at the creek as we both waited for the contraction to pass.

I staggered backward and lowered myself to the ground, then laid on my back, wrapping my armsaround my stomach.

“I'm fine," I blurted before Xander could ask if I was okay.

He gave me a soft smile, walking toward me cautiously before sitting down in the grass a few feetaway, stretching his legs out in front of him.

“Is there anything I can do to make you more comfortable?" he asked, then paused. “Other thanf*****g off and leaving you alone?"

I snorted with mirth as I reached out to pick at the grass, my face tilting toward the sun. Cloudswere moving overhead, slow and lazy against a deep blue sky.

“Maybe you could just talk to me-"

“About what?"

I turned to look at him, smiling at the way the sun danced over his face. Oh, Xander. I was lucky tohave such a handsome, caring mate—even if he was bossy, and a little controlling, and sometimesincredibly irritating. I felt a wave of undying love and appreciation wash over me, but it was quicklyreplaced by another round of tight, unending pain and pressure. The smile I'd been giving himquickly turned into a scowl, teeth bared. He rolled his eyes and shook his head.

"Maybe," I panted, “you can tell me what I'm in for by having one of your-your children.”

He arched his brows, glancing down at his watch for a moment as I moved through the contraction.I noticed how his jaw was clenched, and how the tension in his muscles made the veins that ropedaround his arms stand out as he tried not to look at me, keeping his eyes on the watch. He washigh-strung right now, and I wasn't letting him help me. That was all he needed me to do.

“I'm sorry, Xander—"

“I know you're in pain and you don't want to be fussed over. I understand,” he said quickly, glancingat me beneath his lashes. “I don't like to be coddled when I'm hurt, either.”

“You can sit next to me if you want"

He moved so quickly I didn't have time to finish speaking before he was sitting next to me, his handhovering over my thigh. I nodded my head, and he let his hand rest on my skin, a sigh of reliefleaving his lips.

My body relaxed as the contraction lessened, and I let out the breath I was holding.

"What do you want to know about me?" he asked softly, still looking down at his watch.“Everything,” I replied, and he met my eye.

“There's not much to say—"

"What were you like as a kid? Maybe I'll know what I'm in for with Alexis."

“Alexis won't be like me," he retorted, then shook his head. He sighed deeply, laying back againstthe grass. His fingers played over my lower back as I turned my head to look at him, noticing themelancholy behind his eyes.

“I was alone a lot when I was young. To be honest, I don't have many memories from before...before Theo took me under his wing.”

“Your uncle, right?”

“Yes, my uncle. But as I grew he became more like a father figure, and Ciana-Soren’s daughter-shewas like a mother. Their daughters are named Flora and Ava, and they're like sisters to me, muchyounger but it didn't matter. They were all I had. Theo made sure I was educated, and he made mehis heir. I became the Alpha King at seventeen"

“Seventeen?” I exclaimed. "Why—"

“Theo was ready to step down. I don't think it was a role he really wanted.”

I exhaled through my nose, understanding that feeling exactly.

“Did you want to be the Alpha King?"

Xander was silent for a moment, watching clouds move overhead. He turned to me, giving me aweak smile.

“Yes, I did. I do, still. I'm good at it."

“So... what about chemistry—"

He chuckled, turning back to the clouds.

“There's one university in Egoren and it's faith based. I studied there for a time, but wasn'tinterested in theology or literature. I studied the sciences with a private tutor. I did get straight A'smy entire year at Morhan, just so you know. I took it seriously"

“Even though you were only there to replace a White Queen to marry?"

He smirked, closing his eyes.

“I was successful, wasn't 17"

“Well, we're not married yet, so don't think you have it in the bag-"

He turned and glared, then smiled playfully as he shook his head.

“You Grays are impossible-hard headed and stubborn.”

“It's genetic," I retorted, but whatever else I was going to say was ripped from my throat as I gasped,another contraction rocking me to my core. Xander sat up and leaned over me, his hand resting onmy stomach as my belly tightened painfully.

"Why did-why did you not just-have you ever had another-girlfriend—"

"Lena," he growled, a glimmer of mirth in his eyes as he glanced from me to his watch. “We're nottalking about this right now-"

“I want-to talk about it-ow! f**k!"

“I don't think I've ever heard you say f**k before,” he snorted, his eyes on his watch.

I turned to him as I panted, reaching over and clutching his arm for support. This one hurt-bad.“I'm not ready for this," I cried, my voice a weak, strained choke that I knew was barely audible.

“I don't believe that for a second,” he said softly, brushing my hair out of my eyes. “You can still goto the hospital if you want. That's always an option.”

I'd been planning on having Alexis at home with a midwife. That's how my mom had done it, in thisvery castle. I liked the idea of bringing our daughter into the world in the very place I'd been bornand grew up.

But Mom had been in labor for two entire days before I'd been born. Two days! How the hell was Igoing to suffer like this for two days...

The contraction began to ease. Xander helped me into a seated position, rubbing my back.

“Do you want to walk some more? Did that seem to help?"

“It did," I said weakly, wiping a bead of sweat from my brow. “It did help.”

He rose to his feet and helped me up, steadying me with a hand on my elbow. I shuffled forward afew paces and then felt... a pop... like a rubber band snapped somewhere deep in my belly. I lookedup at Xander, furrowing my brow.

"What"

Water burst from between my legs, soaking the dress I was wearing and my slippers. I looked down,momentarily numb from shock.

“Well, I think we should make our way back to the castle now," Xander said calmly, patting my back.I was starting to panic, but Xander was totally calm and collected, like this was just another day,another long walk in the woods. “Do you want me to carry you"

"No," I said sharply, sniffing indignantly as I wiped frantic tears from my eyes. “I'm okay."

“It's not far—"

“I know!" I shrugged his hand off of me and waddled forward, wet and uncomfortable as he trailedbehind me.

“Lena,” he said, his voice dropping an octave as I turned around.

I blinked up at him, something mean and cutting on the tip of my tongue that I didn't meanthreatening to spill out into the open just because I was petrified of what was going to happen next,and Xander was the only person nearby who I could target with my wrath.

“What-"

“I love you so much. You got this."

I burst into tears.

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