Today is my 16th birthday. I’ve always been an only child, living with my father. At least, that’s what he told me, because sometimes I have a dream of a night when my mother argues with my father and my brother gets hurt. Anyway, I come out of my room and replace my father in the kitchen.

Me: Hi Dad!

He jumps up and comes over to me, hiding something behind his back.

Dad: You scared me!

I smile and give him a k**s on the cheek.

Me: Sorry!

Dad: Anyway, happy birthday!

He pulls out a cake with a candle on it from behind his back. I smile and blow out the candle, then put the present on the table to give my dad a hug.

30 minutes later

I come back to the kitchen to say goodbye to my dad before leaving for school.

Dad: Ah darling, could you go and get the mail? I forgot and if you want, I’ll take it to the school.

Me: Sure, no problem!

I leave the house and pick up the few envelopes in the mailbox. One in particular catches my eye. My name is written on a pink envelope, decorated like a birthday card. I sit down on the steps and read it.

[Happy birthday my darling! You’re 16 today! I wish I could have spent them with you… As I tell you every year, I miss you terribly and I hope you’ll forgive me one day, my darling. I hope you’re happy where you live now and that your father has changed since that night.

Have a wonderful day my Hannah and once again, happy birthday!

Mom Xxx]

The letter was followed by an address and telephone number. My mother… She sent me letters then? Tears bead at the corners of my eyes and I rush to the attic and bar the door. I don’t really know what I’m looking for, but I’m sure I’ll replace it here, the letters…

Dad (from the other side of the door): Sweetie, what are you doing? You’re going to be late for school…

I slide the letter under the door. If it’s true, my father has kept my mother’s existence from me all this time. I rummage through each box until I replace it. A box full of letters with my name on them.

Dad: Hannah… I can… I can explain everything, dear…

I start to open a letter. And I force myself to lie.

Me: Everything’s fine dad… I just… I just need some time to digest the news… That’s all.

Dad: A… Okay, you can take the day off, you deserve it… Talk to you later… I love you!

I don’t answer and read the letters. Each one said the same thing, wishing me happy birthday or Merry Christmas and giving so much love that I cried every time. Until I came across the first one, from my 6th birthday.

[Hello, sweetheart… I managed to replace your address through a lawyer, but he says I can’t visit you without your or your father’s permission. I know I should have fought harder to catch you but your brother had to be taken to hospital quickly, he had a concussion but he’s better now. He misses you a lot you know, as much as I do and I hope you don’t hold it against me too much and that I’ll be able to see you again one day. Have a lovely day, my ray of sunshine.

Your mom who loves you more than anything.

Xxx ]

So my dream was true! My father lies to me every day and I believed him! How could I not have seen anything! And my mother thinks I’m mad at him when I didn’t even know he existed! I leave the house, red with anger, to give my father a dressing-down, but all I replace is a note.

[Gone to the convenience store, we can talk when I get back, what do you say? I love you

Dad]

I walk around the house. Every nook and cranny brings back memories, whether happy or sad. Memories I could have spent with my mother and brother. I’ve made up my mind, there’s no point in staying here anymore. I fill a duffel bag with clothes and personal belongings, then place the box on the table, with, of course, a note.

[I’ve left to join my family, so don’t try to contact me again. Goodbye]

I put my phone next to it, along with my keys, and run to the bus station with my mother’s 16th birthday letter in the palm of my hand.

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