188- Backrests and basements

I consider this new information for a few minutes while Bellamy eats another serving of eggs on toast. Actually, he seems really hungry. Did he wait for me to eat?

“Cheryl being able to avoid your commands is… inconvenient. But I suppose if you’re going to go around killing and kidnapping, it makes sense that you would practise something like that. Plus obviously she taught Tristain some weird tricks too.” I think aloud.

“What do you mean by that?” He pauses eating. I tell Bellamy how everyone was frozen in place at Megan’s wedding. Much like Cheryl was, at least they were until I interrupted. Bellamy looks fascinated and pleased.

“Well, people did report being frozen in place, but I didn’t realise that you were the one who freed them, although it does make sense. You should be able to order them around the same way I do, we are equally dominant after all. It just might take a little practice.” He considers. I scrunch.

up my face.

“I’m not sure I want to be able to boss people around.” I admit. He shrugs.

“You don’t have to. It’s up to you to use it or not. I generally will try not to force people to do things, but situations like Cheryl are different. Dominant Shifters, and apparently you, have the ability but it’s mostly intended so that we don’t have to fight weaker individuals. The dominance thing is sort of like skipping the argument or physical fight that might result from it and getting to the end result which is the dominant Shifter winning.” He says I roll my eyes at him.

That doesn’t make sense at all. I couldn’t win a fight against anyone.” I point out. He shrugs.

“You don’t have to be the one fighting. You tend to collect friends and loyalties. That’s a different form of strength.” He reasons. The more I hear about the Shifter dominance stuff the more sketchy it seems. Do they just make up the rules as they go along? I’m starting to think they do. But whatever. It is what it is. It would be interesting to see how some of my other non–Shifter friends fit into the hierarchy. Harry for example. He loves challenging people, particularly those who come across as authority figures. I should get him to test it sometime. Actually, I should update him and Amber on what happened last night. Although I suspect Amber already knows. Maybe I should tell Cam too since we’ve kind of dragged her into it all. I just wish we had better news. I know we caught Cheryl, but Kiara is still missing and captured by… whoever the partner is. Actually, taking Cheryl might have upset the partner. This could be bad for Kiara. Why didn’t I think about it earlier? Oh shoot I feel dizzy. Am I breathing?

In a second Bellamy is at my side. He cups his hand to my cheek and forces me to meet his golden eyes.

“Hey, shh, take a deep breath and tell me what’s wrong.” He says gently, coaxing it out of me.

*Kiara, we took Cheryl. What if the partner is upset or retaliates. Taking Kiara was Cheryl’s idea, what if the partner doesn’t want her anymore or gets angry and hurts her.” The more I think about it the worse it gets. The more awful the outcome gets. I think I’m shaking, I’m just so scared for Kiara. She’s so small and she’s been through so much already.

“Bellamy… What if she’s already dead.” I whisper in horror. He immediately shakes his head in denial.

“I don’t think she is. I think you would know. You have a connection to her.” He reminds me. I frown.

1/2

188- Backrests and basements

“I didn’t dream of her last night. For the first time in ages.” I tell him. Bellamy keeps his expression calm but I can see that he’s paled a little. He’s acting confident for my sake, but he isn’t sure.

“You were exhausted. I doubt you would remember even if you did dream. I literally carried you to bed. I’m sure that when you try again you’ll be able to see her.” He assures me. I move so quickly it shoves my seat back.

“I’m going upstairs to meditate and check on Kiara. I won’t be able to think about anything else until I know she’s alive. That we didn’t make things worse for her.” I declare. Bellamy nods his acceptance and gets me a glass of water which he encourages me to take upstairs with me.

Upstairs in the bedroom I decide not to lie in the bed this time. I’m still a little tired and I don’t want to fall asleep. Instead, I grab a couple pillows off the bed and place them on the floor next to it. One to sit on, and one to use as a backrest up against the side of the bed. I am really anxious, so getting myself calm enough for this to work is going to be difficult, but I’m determined to do it. I NEED to know that Kiara is still waiting for me to come replace her. That she hasn’t been hurt. I need her to know that I’m still looking for her. I can’t make myself less stressed, so I start with the things that I can control. First my breathing. Taking deep measured breaths until my lungs no longer feel like they’re closing up. Next I work on relaxing my body. Resting my head back against the bed, focusing on each body part in turn. until I feel the tension bleeding away. Only then, do I turn my thoughts to Kiara. I try not to think about my worries for her. Just the things I know for sure. How her hair and eyes look. Her mark, her magic and connection to me. The soft sound of her small voice. As I focus, other things start to come to me, the aches in her body. How she feels cold and hungry. She has a headache and her throat is scratchy and dry. Everything smells unpleasant and she wants a bath. Lastly I start to feel how she does. Scared, lonely, exhausted, but determined she hasn’t given up. I can’t help the gasp of relief I let out when she finally comes into my view. She looks much the same as last time. The bruising on her face is nasty, but she doesn’t have any new marks. At least not anywhere visible to me. She is sitting with her legs. pulled up to her chest, her chin on her knees. She seems to sense that I’m watching though because her head lifts and she looks around before dropping down to her knees again.

“Hello Lady. I think you’re here again. I’m not sure though… I- I think something happened. One of the mean ladies has been yelling a lot. She came down here and she broke a bunch of things. It was scary, but she didn’t hurt me at least.” She whispers as if afraid someone will hear her.

“Where?” 1 push the question towards her and she perks up a little.

“Oh I was right. You are here. Where? You mean where am I? I don’t really know. A house I think. Downstairs in a basement. It’s cold and dirty down here. There are lots of shelves with old books and stuff like you replace in the stores

the Witches run. Mum never let me touch any of that stuff or go near it though so I can’t be sure. I’d look around more but I can’t. The mean lady did something when they first made me come here. Now I can’t really move more than a little bit away from this spot. Maybe like two steps? Then I get stuck and I have to sit down again. My legs get sore sitting here so much. But it’s better than when they make me go out.” She shudders and I’m fairly sure she is talking about the murders. The poor thing, I imagine pulling her into a hug. I wish I could do that so badly. Kiara goes quiet for a while, clearly struggling with something. I wait.

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