Submitting to My Best Friend's Dad by Scarlett Rossi
Chapter 188 -

James.

All alone and with a cavern in my heart, I sat there with my head against the wall. This house wasn't the most luxurious, mostly because it was rather barren, but that's because it wasn't meant to be.

I'd rented it when I first came into town. We'd brought most of our things to the other house, and I'd kept this one just in case something like this came up. I was hoping that would not be the case, but despite that, here I was.

I let out a disparaged sigh, putting my face in my hands and letting out a groan. Becca's speech had taken my breath away, and I was starting to have some real hope I'd be able to stay with Alessandro.

After the discussion with Janet, and the decision of the court to keep me away from the kids for now, I felt the dagger of anxiety twist in my stomach.

Over and over, I ran through the mistakes I made in my head. There were far too many to count. Not to mention, my mood was brought down further at the thought of Tally.

She was killed, that was the end of it, and the guilt from it being because of me hung like a shadow of depression at all times. I could barely handle it, so the fact that I nearly lost it in court dragged me down.

I considered drowning myself in wine but decided doing so would be unwise, especially with Tally now on my mind. She had been ever since Bruce emphasized I was the reason for her death.

Now, I could lose Alessandro, too. He may as well be killed, given what Chad and that rotten family would do to him. Maltreatment and brainwashing. Sasha's testimony had painted a perfectly horrifying picture of his destiny in the hands of the Cartwrights.

I swallowed, walked into the kitchen and started up a meal for myself. Something simple, not complex, even if tackling something more in-depth would occupy my mind.

Or, rather, I wanted to start up something, but the longer I stood there with the fridge open, realizing I'd need to actually order ingredients, the more I told myself I should just order out.

I did so, going with a simple chicken fettuccine alfredo from a place I knew had good reviews. Following that, I laid back down on the couch, staring at my phone screen.

Pestering Becca during this stressful time wouldn't do, but I couldn't wait. I may come across as pushy, but what else was new. Making a decision, I dialed her number, putting the phone up against my ear and taking a breath. "Hello?" Becca muttered softly on the other line, her voice dripping with exhaustion.

"Becca," I breathed. "How are you?"

"I'm... not well," she said after a long pause. I heard her sniffle on the other line, a wave of concern and melancholy washing over me as she spoke.

"I am so sorry, Becca. I know, this is difficult. How are the kids?" I asked, trying to keep her mind off of things for a moment.

"They're okay," Becca replied. She latched onto this distraction, her voice gaining a spec of laughter at what she described next. "Alessandro is a troublemaker, as usual."

"Oh?"

"Yeah. He stole Dahlia's rattle and ran all around the house with it. Dahlia was pretty angry, but I rescued it and gave it back. Still, she cried for about a half hour or so following it. I tried not to laugh. But her expressions reminded me of you when you get angry."

"Ah, all scrunched up and red in the face?" I asked, giving a chuckle.

"Yes, exactly," she said. "She has your eyes. I think she misses you, though. I can see her looking for you sometimes."

Becca's voice morphed back into one of sadness, her words edged and frightened. "James..." she said, "what if it has to be this way forever? What if they say you can't ever see Alessandro, but I can?"

I opened, then closed my mouth. What indeed. I would have to leave Becca and the kids forever. My hands were too red from my past, and they were in danger enough given the past mafia activity.

"We'll replace a way," I said firmly, trying to reassure myself right along with Becca. That initial, horrifying thought that I could never run from my past dissolved a bit. I was tying up loose ends, starting my life anew.

This would not follow me. We just had to get through this trial. I was ready to return to Italy ASAP, but still needed to hear about those damn tapes. Why was it taking what felt like eons for anyone to get back to me with any information I needed?

I clenched my jaw. Running back to Italy is what I wanted to do, with Becca and the kids, more than anything. The courts here could fall for the bullshit Bruce pulled in that session to make me angry, but that wouldn't follow us to Italy.

Becca and I could be together, a family, with the kids. Honestly, regardless of the outcome, even if it worked out in the end, we'd need to go back. It was where I belonged, after all, and the mafia issues were being put to rest. Just like Tally had been. I reached up and rubbed my temple with my free hand. That seemed to be on my mind just as much as the kids lately. Becca's voice snapped me out of my thoughts.

"James?" she asked, causing me to blink.

"Yes. Sorry, my love. What were you saying?"

"How will we replace a way this time? You say it's all going to work out, but I'm just not sure. Alessandro can't go to the Cartwrights. We know, and all of that dirty laundry was hung up for the jury to see on Chad. What if they throw their money around and win, regardless?"

"That could happen," I agreed, listening to her intake her sharp breath. Quickly, I added, "But it is unlikely. You're able to see the kids right now. The most likely scenario is you keeping the kids, while I stay away. At least while we're here." "While we're here. Right," Becca said. There was a hint of hesitation in her voice, as if she had something to tell me. I raised a brow, wondering what it could be.

"Yes. Something on your mind?" I asked. "Our time in New York is temporary, love, regardless. We may need to deal with this for a few weeks, or months, but eventually, we'll be back in Italy, and we can be together."

"We can," she agreed, her voice strained. Should I press right now? No, both of us were far too stressed for a heavy topic. I glared at the other wall for a moment, clenching my jaw before letting out a sigh.

"Alright," I said finally. "I love you. Can I say hello to Alessandro?" I asked, exhausted, sad, but still wanting to speak with my grandson. Someday, I hoped I could adopt him as my son. With any luck, the law would be on my side right along with Becca's.

Living like this was a mixture of grating and depressing.

"He's asleep right now," Becca replied, causing me to shake my head sadly. Of course, he was. I should have called earlier. As I glanced toward the clock, I realized it was 11:00 PM. How foolish of me to make such a request. Becca added, "I'm sorry, James. I probably should have called you, but stress has been eating at me."

"It's alright," I said, keeping my tone tender. "As I said. Things will work out. I'll talk to the kids tomorrow. I'm happy to hear your voice now, though, even if you're sad. Try not to stress too much, alright? The speech you gave made my heart sing. I could see it on the jury's faces, too."

"You think so?" Becca asked, that bit of happiness and hope dripping into her tone. I meant what I said to her, too, and was beyond happy that my reassurance could be genuine.

"No, Becca, I know so. Get some sleep," I said. "Love you."

"Love you too."

I bid her farewell and put the phone down. A few minutes later, there was a knock at the door, prompting me to answer it and get my food. After thanking and paying the delivery person, I found myself at the couch again. All alone, with the television now glowing in front of me, I ate my food, trying to escape my drowning thoughts with distractions. The bags under my eyes were probably permanent from all this.

A thought seeped into my mind as I ate. Why had Becca been so hesitant to talk about Italy? I'd been under the impression that she had accepted that New York was just going to be temporary. This had better not come up as a problem in the future.

Surely, after all the Cartwrights put us through, Becca wouldn't want to continue staring into the maw of the beast. I was confident she, at least, would get to keep Alessandro. Myself, not so much.

Plus, what if things didn't work out? What if I wasn't able to see the kid anymore because of the mafia business that was latched onto my back like a tick that wouldn't drop off of a dog? Surely she'd agree we needed to get away from this place then.

I didn't know. So much back and forth with Becca. I loved her deeply and assumed she felt the same. I tried to dismiss that haunting feeling that she may have a choice to make in the future despite that. Why did she need to make things so difficult?

I had plenty of money, and we would have a lovely life in Italy. There I was, jumping to conclusions, however. Becca was probably just tired from this whole trial business and all worried about whether the courts would favor me.

With Janet being unsure, I was too. I couldn't add this new concern over whether Becca would return to Italy onto my plate right now. That, and I was still waiting on those damn tapes. The sooner I could get information, the sooner I could put yet another problem to rest.

I put the rest of my food into the fridge and stood up, cracking my neck. Tomorrow, I would be able to talk to the kids, which would lift my spirits. Then, the next day, we'd know our fate. For now, I'd have to deal with being away from Becca. She could handle the kids, along with Layla, until I was finally able to be in the picture for good this time.