Tales of Midbar: Secret Priest
Chapter 11: I Art Sixteen - part 1

Of course I got interrogated by Mum and Yoldasia when I got home. I vaguely told them I’d spent the day with a friend and refused to say who. (I’d helped Dwendra to sell some devices she’d brought back from her time, she’d made quiet a lot of money.) Yoldasia was staying the night as it was a long drive back to Drintac. She was to sleep in Attan’s room with Miandri. I wasn’t sure what time she was leaving so Dwendra and myself had decided the best time for her to talk to Yoldasia was during the night. Dwendra waited for everybody to start going to bed so Yoldasia was less likely to think we were connected. We were just getting ready for bed when I felt a materialization in the side passage.

“Not again!” said Dad.

I heard his footsteps rushing downstairs. I hung back this time, cleaning my teeth in the bathroom but I could hear Yoldasia and Miandri coming onto the landing.

“Why am I the only person who doesn’t hear these things?” asked Attan.

I wiped my face. I wouldn’t be able to stay in the bathroom long without it looking suspicious.

The door buzzer sounded and Dad opened it. “Oh, you know it’s rather late.”

“Apologies,” said Dwendra, “this art important. I wast toldeth Yoldasia wast staying here.”

Yoldasia was already going down the stairs.

“Can’t it wait till morning?” asked Dad.

“You know the rules!” said Yoldasia.

“I art not Haprihagfen. I art sixteen if thou knowest what I meaneth.”

“Another mad girl for Clindar to fail to have sex with,” said Attan.

“I didn’t have sex with him!” said Miandri.

I came out the bathroom to replace Mum, Miandri and Attan on the landing.

“Streculic’s semen!” screamed Yoldasia. “If you’re sixteen, you know where the message will be sent!”

“The sealed crypt of Rendamar Temple,” said Dwendra. “I didst thinketh thou mayest hath beeneth unable to delivereth the message because of the Nuharas.”

“Not my job!” said Yoldasia.

“Who’s job art it?”

“If I knew, I wouldn’t tell you! Just brave the Nuharas, go to Rendamar Temple and see if there’s a message there for you!”

“I hath been there and there art no message.”

“Then you know we don’t have what you want!”

“But a priestly line hath survived?”

“Can I get past?” I asked, trying to push between Attan and Miandri.

I think Yoldasia realized she’d fallen for a loaded question. “Check a history book! There’s nothing for you here! I hath magic unlike anything thou knowest of!”

Miandri turned and hugged me, probably to keep me away from the anavah.

“I art sixteen!”

“I don’t care! You know the agreement. Now stick to it!”

“You know I have to see her!” I said to Miandri, hoping she couldn’t read minds well enough to figure out this was a ruse.

“Wilt Benai Nibeyim?" asked Dwendra. "Thou art a travesty of thou’s pre-Cataclysm forbearers.”

“Leave!” screamed Yoldasia.

“Farewell then.”

I felt Dwendra walk back to the side passage and dematerialize as Mum, Attan, Miandri and myself went down the stairs.

“Get dressed Anden!” said Yoldasia marching to the bottom of the stairs. “We’ve got things to do.”

“I wanted to talk to her!” I said, crossly.

Mum rushed back upstairs.

“Chasing another mad girl,” smirked Attan.

“Miandri, Latchmir,” barked Yoldasia, “stay here and do whatever you need to do to keep her out! Clindar, whatever that girl tells you, don’t go with her and don’t have sex with her!”

“I thought I was supposed to be solving my own problems but again ..!”

“Not like that!” screamed Yoldasia.

“Why?” I asked.

“You fornicating know why!” screamed Yoldasia.

“Either you fornicating help me,” I shouted, waving my fists, “or I’ll fornicating do what I think best!”

“You don’t know what you’re fornicating doing!” Yoldasia screamed, waving her hands and making her breasts jiggle, she was just wearing a bra and knickers. She pushed past me and ran up the stairs.

“Well explain!” I shouted. “This is the second time you’ve fornicating done something like this!”

“What exactly is going on?” asked Dad. He was dressed in a dressing gown and trousers.

“Yes,” said Attan, who was wearing his pajamas. “Who the feces was that?”

“Clindar’s right,” said Dad, “you can’t insist he solves his own problems without your help and then stop him whenever he tries.”

“That’s like a totally huge secret,” said Miandri, who was wearing her low cut nighty. “Wow this is like some mega-predestination.”

“No it isn’t!” shouted Yoldasia from upstairs.

“I felt this totally strong predestination line ...” Miandri started to say.

“She’s crazy!” shouted Yoldasia.

“Yoldasia!” shouted Dad, waving his pointed finger sternly. “I’m not fighting her or stopping Clindar from doing things with her unless I know why!”

“Just take my fornicating word for it!” shouted Yoldasia.

“And I’m not passing up a chance to have sex with her unless I know why!” I shouted.

“Can I have sex with her?” asked Attan.

That made me angry but I knew Dwendra would never agree to that.

“If I don’t know why she’s a problem,” said Dad, “I may take action that will defeat your objective and if I kill or injure her the police won’t think, ‘Because Yoldasia told me she was trouble,’ is a very good reason. Besides I need to know if she’s likely to come back with accomplices or anything.”

Yoldasia appeared at the top of the stairs, now fully dressed. “Don’t worry about the police! We don’t know much about her and I don’t know if she really is who she claimed to be but I’m sure she isn’t immune to magic.” She came down the stairs with Mum, who was now dressed and looked confused.

“Perhaps I should stay,” Mum said.

“What can you do?” asked Yoldasia. “Attan, Clindar, if that girl comes back, leave it to Miandri and your father!”

With that Yoldasia marched out the door with Mum behind her.

“Good night,” said Mum. “Don’t wait up.”

The rest of us stood there looking at each other.

“Wow Mum totally melted down,” said Miandri. “Why don’t we stay up having a totally mega pajama party in case that girl comes back?”

“Would one of you like to explain what that was about?” asked Dad.

"How the fornication should I know?" asked Attan.

Miandri and myself just stared at Dad.

“How did that girl know Yoldasia was here?” asked Dad.

“Predestination?” said Miandri.

“Lots of people know Miandri’s her daughter and is staying here,” I said. “Also she’s rather distinctive.”

“You mean she’s got huge boobs,” said Attan.

“That and she’s a yellow haired faharni!” I said.

“And she is like totally famous,” said Miandri.

“I’m not going to treat this girl as an enemy or keep her away from Clinder without a good reason,” said Dad.

“If she’s a raving nymphomaniac,” said Attan, “I’m willing to sacrifice myself to pacify her.”

“If I say things like that,” I said, “I’m accused of being a sex maniac.”

“You are,” said Attan.

“I’m normal for my age!”

“Clindar and Miandri,” said Dad, “can we have a word in my office?”

“Yes,” I said, “that doesn’t violate any scientific laws.”

Dad gave me a dirty look.

“I guess I’m being left out because I’m the normal one,” said Attan.