Text Appeal
: Chapter 14

“Congratulations.” Connor inspects the white rosette pinned to my dress. “An honorable mention in the chowder cook-off isn’t bad, Blue. Mom doesn’t give those to just anyone.”

“You are not going to believe the story I have to tell you.”

“I might if it involves you suddenly becoming a soup savant.” He slings an arm around my neck. Like we’ve been doing this forever. “Between you and me, I also get excited by fennel.”

“As herbs go, it’s a banger.” I grab hold of the hand hanging over my shoulder and this is just plain nice. Our first post-sex PDA. Holding his hand was always enjoyable, but this is different. The affection seems more honest this time. At least, it is for me.

The judging panel and Ana Rosa pose for photos along with her prize-winning pot of quinoa and cauliflower chowder. She deserves it. The soup smells amazing. Apparently roasting the bulbs of garlic made all the difference.

It is entirely possible that I learned more about soup today than I have in my entire life. What with Mom being a chef, she was never too interested in cooking at home. Which is fair enough. Perhaps I could get interested in cooking. Maybe next year I’ll enter the cook-off for real. I just need to buy one of those big-ass pots.

“Grandma said to wish you luck,” he says. “She’s in charge of cow poo bingo this year. Otherwise, she would have come and watched your moment of glory. But Daisy has a habit of trying to knock down the fence and wander off the field. As cows go, she’s something of a renegade.”

“You didn’t record my win on your cell to show her like a good boyfriend?”

He frowns. “Shit. Was I supposed to?”

“No.” I smile. “You’re fine.”

“Thank fuck for that. Talk to me,” says Connor, leading me through the crowd. “How did you and my ex come to be in cahoots?”

“Long story short. Though before I begin, please bear in mind that this is probably one of those it-made-sense-at-the-time sort of things.”

“Got it.”

“Ava decided the best chance for me to bond with your mother was to say we both worked on the pot of chowder she made. We had from the time it took us to walk from our cars to the cook-off tent for her to teach me the recipe.”

“Surprised she didn’t tell you to write it on your hand.”

“She did,” I answer. “I thought it was a bad idea. Is that what she used to do in school?”

“No. She’d wear these baggy basketball shorts to exams and have notes written on her thigh.”

I laugh.

“Since when does Ava want you to bond with my mother?”

“I know. It was news to me too,” I say. “Her relationship with you obviously didn’t bring out the best in her, but I think Katja is really good for her. She also seems to be doing a lot of work on herself. In all honesty, I applaud her for today’s efforts.”

“Huh.”

“Riley, honey,” shouts Harold from a stall selling berry jams. There’s a choice of strawberry, blackberry, blueberry, and huckleberry. “Congratulations on your chowder.”

“Thank you!”

Connor asks, “What are you going to do now that people think you can cook?”

“I can cook,” I say, only mildly outraged. “My cinnamon toast is fucking amazing, thank you.”

“I stand corrected.” He draws me in close and kisses my hair.

“See if I ever heat up a microwave dinner for you.”

He laughs. It’s a beautiful sound. But what’s nice is how some of the people nearby stop and smile. Like his happiness is a rare enough event that it’s worth taking notice.

There’s a lot being offered at the fair. From fish fry and food trucks to beer kegs and coffee carts. Along with stalls for the local wineries. A tractor pulling a line of carts loaded with people chugs along nearby and laughter can be heard coming out of the hay maze. But he steers us toward the dunk tank. With good reason.

“Shanti,” says Brian in a pleading voice. “C’mon, babe. There’s no need to be like this. I thought we were friends!”

Shanti pins him with her stare. “Not even a little. And do not call me babe.”

Brian is seated above a tankful of water and there’s a whole lot of ice in there. No wonder he looks cold and miserable. His black eye from last night doesn’t help his overall appearance. Connor is carrying off his injuries with style. Like a rebel or a rogue. Someone a little dangerous and a lot hot. But Brian brings none of that to the picture in his sodden-wet polo and matching shorts. It’s just a whole lot of mediocre white man getting an involuntary ice bath.

One of the baristas from the café holds out a trucker’s cap. “Shanti’s going to keep dunking him until her arm gets tired. Support the effort. All funds go to charity.”

“How much a throw?” asks Connor.

“Five dollars for two balls.”

He takes a twenty dollar bill out of his wallet and drops it in the hat. I do likewise with a ten. Should have brought more cash with me. Supporting local charities while subjecting Brian to repeated ice baths is highly important. A joy for all to see.

“You want a try?” asks Shanti.

“You got it covered.” Connor shakes his head.

Her smile is full of sharp teeth. “Yes, I do.”

I give her a double thumbs up. No one needs to see me attempt sport.

Shanti grips the ball tight and steadies herself, lifts her leg as she draws back her arm, and then lets the ball fly. The woman has serious form. Her ball speeds through the air and hits the target dead center with a mighty bang. Brian drops into the pool and everyone cheers.

“Goodness. That never gets old,” says Diane, standing nearby. She’s wearing linen and pearls as always. The man standing beside her is of a similar age. He’s handsome with a bald head and a chunky gold watch on his wrist that must be worth a small fortune. Shanti said they were snowbirds down from Alaska, but when the winter ended, they decided to stay. Diane turns to her husband. “Put another fifty in the boy’s cap, Paul.”

The man does as he’s told.

“Best pitcher the high school ever had,” says Connor. “A back injury stopped her from going pro.”

Diane clicks her tongue. “Such a shame. Though she runs an excellent business.”

Brian meanwhile is climbing out of the tank. The stream of profanities he’s spewing is shocking and also hilarious.

“Mind your language,” shouts Diane. “This is a family friendly event.”

He gives her the stink eye and she grins. No idea how he made an enemy of the lady. Brian seems to have the happy ability to anger everyone he meets. But people sure are getting their revenge today. Putting Brian in the seat was a solid moneymaking decision.

A man with white hair and a neat beard approaches the tank. “What’s this I hear about foul language?”

“Sorry, Pastor Mike,” says Brian.

He crosses his arms and shakes his head. Such disapproval in his stare.

“Get your butt back on the seat already,” says Shanti. “Time is wasting.”

Pastor Mike checks the tank. “I’ll go fetch more ice in just a minute.”

Brian’s mouth gapes like a fish. One who clearly doesn’t appreciate cold water. “But—”

“Come along now, Brian,” orders Pastor Mike. “So good of your father to donate your time to the cause. Our children’s literacy program applauds your effort. Who wants to see Brian go for a swim? Two throws for five dollars!”

We follow our ears toward the stage. There’s a sea of picnic blankets spread across the grass. Which explains why they call it picnic in the park. So many people are here hanging out, listening to the music, eating and drinking and making merry. All beneath a suitably atmospheric blue and white sky. But the clouds are fluffy and nonthreatening. A warm salt wind is blowing in off the water and summer doesn’t get much better than this. With Connor’s arm slung around my neck and his big warm body by my side…this is everything I ever dreamed of and more.

Nicole and Katja are doing a duet. Stop Dragging My Heart Around by Stevie Nicks and Tom Petty and the Heartbreakers. We know Nicole loves to send a message. Katja seems to have also taken to the idea. Though of course music is going to be a musician’s form of communication. And this song has clearly been chosen with care, given the grim expression on one person’s face.

Ava stands on the other side of the stage watching the performance with her heart on her sleeve, and she doesn’t seem to care who in the crowd sees her lovelorn expression. Her gaze remains glued to the tall blonde playing guitar onstage. It’s like Katja is pouring her soul into the music and Ava not only hears but understands every note. The bond between them is beautiful.

We replace Lu and Stuart off to the side, near the front. Spread out on an old plaid picnic blanket with hats and sunscreen and a variety of snacks.

“Wondered when you two would get here,” says Stu with an affable smile. “Little brother, you look so pretty.”

Connor smiles. “Thanks.”

Lu gives us a nod and keeps sucking on her smoothie.

We take a seat on the picnic blanket and yes. This is good. Connor picks up my hand and holds it in his. I don’t think this warm, bubbly feeling inside has been so big since high school. I am crushing hard and feeling all the feelings. My heart hasn’t been this invested in someone in pretty much forever. And I know the safe thing to do would be calm the fuck down. Come tomorrow, we’ll have known each other one whole week. But hormones and feelings have no interest in rationality. They drag us along leaving destruction in their wake. Though you never know. This time might be different and that’s the eternal catch. It just might all work out this time. I really hope it does.

At least the time has come to sit and chill. But apparently no because Denise is marching our way with a look on her face. One that doesn’t bode well for anybody. It’s nervous and hopeful and determined along with a hundred other things. This is a woman on a mission. Her gaze is set on her youngest son. Though she shoots me little frowns now and then and it sucks to be included.

“Take a seat, Mom,” says Stuart. “Nic’s going off today.”

Denise sits and gives everyone a solid attempt at a smile. Her fingers fuss all the while with the drink bottle she’s carrying. “I know you don’t want to hear it, Connor. So this is the last time I’ll bring it up. But I would appreciate it if you would take the time to have a conversation with Ava.”

Stuart shakes his head and turns his focus back to his wife’s performance.

Lu snorts. “Doubt Ava’s got time for him, Grandma.”

“Of course, she does,” says Denise chidingly. “Connor, you—”

“It’s not going to happen, Mom.” Connor’s tone is absolute. “Because the thing is, Riley and I belong together.”

Stuck in my throat is a bone or a wish or an I don’t know what. I cough into my hand and choke my heart out. So cool.

Connor pats me on the back. Talk about embarrassing. There’s no need for me to lose my shit. We’ve done lots of drama and lies in the last few days. Guess his words just caught me off guard or something. What he’s saying isn’t real. He has reverted back to faking, which is fine. Though maybe he never stopped. It’d be nice to know the truth, but it’s not like I can just ask him. Not here and now.

“What?” asks Denise with all due horror. “I am sorry to be harsh, but honey, that’s preposterous. You barely even know each other. Aren’t you rather conveniently forgetting all of the years you were happy with Ava?”

“I know Riley just fine. She doesn’t hide any parts of herself from me. From the moment we met, she’s always told me exactly what she thinks and feels,” he says. “It’s not just that I’m happy with her. The thing is, she sees me for me. Who I am now. Not some bullshit version of myself I made up long ago to try and pacify the town. I don’t have to pretend with her. I can just be myself, and you have no idea how much that means to me.”

His mom just sighs.

“I would be an idiot to let her go.”

My heart is beating hard enough to turn my rib cage black and blue. I never expected to want this so badly. For his words to be true. His tone of voice is earnest, but this has to be pretend.

Denise has no immediate comeback to his statement. Though she is throttling the drink bottle now. She licks her lips and says, “If what you say is true, then a simple conversation with Ava won’t change anything. She came all this way and–”

“Oh my, God,” says Lu with some truly dramatic eye rolling. “Grandma, you’re being so cringe. Ava’s with someone.”

“What?”

“She has a girlfriend.”

“Whatever do you mean?” Denise laughs nervously. “I know her friend came to visit her, but they’re just friends, honey.”

Applause and whistling breaks out amongst the crowd. Nicole and Katja have finished playing, apparently. They wave to the crowd. Katja hands her guitar back to Nicole with a smile. Then Katja opens her arms and Ava runs into them. It’s a pure Hallmark moment. How Katja dips her and kisses her. Ava is laughing so hard the kiss lands on her chin. But that’s okay. Because once she’s horizontal, they attempt it again and this time the kiss is epic, and it’s in front of the whole damn town.

Denise’s mouth falls open.

Lu takes one look at her and howls with laughter. Which is fair enough.

“Yeah,” drawls Stuart. “I think they’re maybe more than friends, Mom.”

Cheers come from the crowd. The smiles on the women’s faces are wide and wonderful. They’re in love and it shows. Several people do a double take and some gasp in surprise. But the bulk of the audience is delighted for the former prom queen. As it should be.

“She looks happy,” says Connor. His smile is small and thoughtful. Like he’s been waiting for this moment for a while. For them both to move on and replace something better.

“Hey.” I lean in closer. “Are you okay?”

He just nods and gives my hand a squeeze. But the look he gives me, the expression on his face…something’s wrong. A sadness in his gaze that’s there and gone in an instant. Wanting to get on with his life and watching his ex do exactly this could cause a twinge or two of regret. Or not regret exactly, but something bittersweet. Life can be like that.

However, he masks it easily with a smile and says, “Tell me, Blue, what did you think of the town picnic?”

I give my best fake smile. “Heck of a day.”

My apartment is a bastion of calm and quiet after all the noise and commotion at the fair. We helped pack up some of the tents and chase down Daisy. Now there’s a cow who just wants to roam free. Ava and Katja disappeared straight after the kiss. At around about the same time, Denise started attempting to make an effort with me. I don’t envy her. Admitting you were as wrong as she was can’t be easy. She’s lucky I’m open to bribery. The quart of espresso ice cream went a long way with smoothing things over between us.

“Check it out.” I hold my hands out in front of me. “They’re still shaking. That ice cream was loaded with caffeine.”

“I wouldn’t know because you refused to share it with me. Again.”

“There are just some things that are sacrosanct. It’s not like you didn’t have your own.”

His smile is a halfhearted thing. There and gone in an instant. They all have been since that kiss at the fair. He hardly said two words for the rest of the day. I have no idea what’s going on with him. He sits on my sofa staring off at nothing while I lean my back against the cool brick wall. Not only am I buzzing from caffeine. But my heart is hurting for him. Change isn’t always easy, even if it was what you wanted.

“Connor,” I say quietly. “Talk to me. Please.”

“Hmm?”

“Your quiet misery has been noted.”

He winces and stretches his neck. “I don’t want to talk right now.”

“Okay. What do you want to do?”

Nothing from him.

“Do you feel like watching a movie or going for a walk or…you know if you need some space and want to leave, that’s okay?”

Still nothing from.

“Are you hungry?”

He looks up and there’s a lot going on with him. I just don’t have a fucking clue what. But he narrows his gaze on me, taking in the curve of my shoulder and the stupid rosette still pinned to my breast. Down his attention goes. Not stopping until he hits the floaty hem of my mini dress. This seems of particular interest to him. But the one thing he definitely doesn’t do is look me in the eye.

“What’s going on, Connor?”

“I could eat.” He stands and wanders over to me.

“Okay. We’ll order something. What are you in the mood for?”

This is getting weirder by the moment. He doesn’t stop until he’s right in front of me, staring down from on high, with a finger tracing the neckline of my dress. It’s not my fault my vagina wakes right the fuck up. The surge of heat down there is just natural. How my nipples turn rock hard, and my sex starts to ache. We should talk about whatever is on his mind. Clear the air or whatever people in healthy functioning relationships do. But my kink is apparently him looming over me. How it makes me feel small and at his mercy. Just the hint of it makes my mind go far away and turns me into a needy thing. The man is a menace.

Without a word, he gets to his knees and runs his hands up the back of my legs. His warm breath turns the skin on my thighs to gooseflesh. Such a hint of what’s to come. Then he drags the flat of his tongue all the way up my inner thigh. I gasp and clutch at the rough brick wall. There’s no way my manicure is coming out of this in one piece and I could not care less.

Of course, he stops to press his nose to the crotch of my panties. He nudges at the material, breathing in the scent of me, and the pressure is sublime. But when he rubs his face against the lace…fuck.

“Connor…”

He lifts the hem of my skirt out of his way. “Hold this for me, would you?”

“Sure.”

A finger is hooked in the waistband of my panties and down they go. He guides them off me, one foot at a time. My shoes go too, and the reason for this is soon made clear as he guides my leg over his shoulder. The sight of him on his knees, his blond head level with my sex. It all works for me. No longer is it the caffeine making me tremble. I don’t need both hands to hold up my skirt. And messing up his gorgeous hair is one of my favorite things.

Over and over again, he licks at my labia, sliding his tongue against those lips. I don’t know if this is going to take long. The pressure is already starting to build. It’s a heavy feeling between my thighs. A tingling sensation crawling beneath my skin. He’s making me an addict to his hands and mouth. All of my senses are focused on what he’s doing.

He grips the thigh slung over his shoulder good and tight, keeping me upright. While he slides first one finger and then a second into me. I am so fucking wet. It’s obscene the way we can both hear it. His groaning at the taste of me isn’t quiet either. But any complaints from the neighbors would be more than worth it.

His fingers pump into me nice and slow as he draws circles around my clit with the tip of his tongue. The teasing bastard. I tangle my fingers in his hair and pull. Just because.

“More,” I say.

He’s lucky I don’t pull out a handful of hair when he bites down on my mound. The shock of it races through me. It’s like plugging myself into the closest electricity socket. Or at least I imagine it would be. My inner muscles clutch at his thick fingers. Which is when he hooks them and rubs against something so good. He bites me again on my inner thigh. Just sinks his teeth into me like he owns me. All the while those clever fingers of his keep pushing me higher. He rubs his face in my sex. Like he wants my scent all over him. As if I own him too.

“Connor…” I say with no small amount of urgency.

“Time to stop fucking around?”

I nod my head so hard I almost bang it against the wall. Ouch.

He concentrates on my clitoris. Licking turns into kissing and ends with him sucking it good and hard. There might have even been the threat of his teeth there. I don’t know. But my legs shake from the shock waves. They spread through my body. I close my eyelids tight and hang on. It’s beautiful and frightening how big it feels. Like every light in the universe is pouring through me. There’s no more Riley. No more me. Just high and happy atoms floating through space.

He eases his fingers out of me and presses a kiss against my belly. My leg is carefully lifted from his shoulder, my foot stands back on firm ground. I dropped the skirt of my dress at some stage. It takes me a minute to open my eyes. To come back to reality. And there he is, still on his knees staring up at me.

“I love watching you come,” he says in a low voice.

My smile won’t sit still. Too many emotions are competing for dominance inside of me. The most overwhelming of which is what he’s doing to my heart. Upending my life and moving here was meant to be life-altering. But it was meeting him that changed things for me.

He wipes his mouth with the back of his hand and asks, “How do you want to handle the breakup?”