The Alpha King’s Rejected Mate
Chapter 11

DUTCH

I was looking for Snow, and found her with far different company than I would have expected. She wasn’t out with Jessica having a dip in the pond. It was Sterling she was laughing and talking to while swimming around. He was giving her all of his charm and attention, and Snow, like many women before her, was not able to resist it.

Everything inside me wanted to scream. I was getting to the point where if I didn’t, I might blow up. Why did he have to mess with her? Why did he have to have the one woman I needed more than anything else? Sterling could have anything and anyone, do why the hell did he have to have her as well?

It wasn’t like this was a regular wolf I could fight and end it. This was my alpha. I couldn’t very well go against him over a woman. He hadn’t claimed her, but even if he did, I doubted it would make any difference to me. I didn’t think anything was going to take Snow away from me. I felt like it was our destiny to be together. And while it wasn’t happening as quickly or in the way I wanted it to, that didn’t mean it wasn’t going to happen.

It was really eating at me, and I felt confrontational as I made my way to the pond. I cleared my throat, trying to get their attention.

Sterling had a deadly look on his face as he turned back to see who was interrupting him. His eyes narrowed as his wolf came out for a split second before realizing it was me. Then his hackles went down; I was nothing to worry about. How many times had people literally said that about me? I was always the second, the quiet one, but I wasn’t feeling very quiet today. I wanted to know what the hell was going on and I was about to ask just that, when Snow met my gaze.

“What’s going on, Dutch?” Sterling asked.

“You have several people waiting at the ranch to talk to you. They said it was pretty important, so I tried calling you, but you’re not answering your phone. I guess it’s because you’ve been preoccupied. You probably should get to that meeting.”

Sterling realized I meant more than what I was actually saying, but he didn’t seem too upset about it. “Thanks, I’ll get over there,” he said, but it was pretty clear he didn’t want to leave. He waved goodbye to snow and then got in his truck and drove away.

I turned back to Snow and watched as she got out of the water. I just stood there staring, unable to do anything else. Small dribbles of water rained down her chest and disappeared into her top, only to reappear at the bottom and go down her stomach. It was hard to watch and not let desire bubble up inside me. I was sure Sterling wasn’t too happy when I popped up to remind him of his duties. I know I wouldn’t have been so quick to walk away, especially if I were the alpha and didn’t have anybody to answer to. Why did Snow feel this free around Sterling? How could she look like that and not know what she did to everyone around her? I found it impressive and impossible at the same time.

“So, where is your son?” Snow asked once she was back on dry land.

She was always asking about Carlton and my son was always asking about her. He was completely smitten with Snow and if he had his say, I would have made my move a long time ago. Maybe I should have taken that as a clue. I wanted the situation with Snow and me to be less complicated, anything but the torture that was our current state of being. I really couldn’t stand it.

“He is around here somewhere. Sterling has been putting him to work. You know, trying to keep him out of trouble.”

She laughed, a tinkling sound that made me smile. “I know that’s good. It’s the end of your day, isn’t it?”

“It is.”

“Do you want to get in the water with me?”

I wanted to say yes. Something inside me felt like this was the moment I’d been waiting for. Why couldn’t I move forward and get in with her, see what happened next? If it was anything like my dreams, I knew it was going to be fantastic.

But I was too in my own head to do it. Too many questions of what if, what was to be, what were we to each other? So instead of taking a chance, I walked away. It felt like I was making the biggest mistake of my life, but even then, I couldn’t turn back around and do what I wanted to do so badly I could taste it. I didn’t understand why this was happening, why I couldn’t push through it and why it was messing with my head so damn much. I needed Snow, was dying for her, but something was holding me back.

I went to bed that night hating myself for so many things, but mainly for not spending more time with Snow. I honestly didn’t know what I was thinking. I had probably ruined the best opportunity I would ever have with her. I deserved whatever bad thing came next, I fully believed of that.

I woke up in the middle of the night and could have sworn I heard Snow calling out. My dreams were full of eagles circling overhead, dark shadows I couldn’t see clearly. Something bad was about to happen, and it was a feeling I couldn’t shake. The eagles were my sign, and if I didn’t listen, whatever it was that was supposed to happen would be worse.

That was why I left the house. I didn’t even know where I was going, but I knew I needed to get to Snow. Something had happened to her, and I needed to make sure she was alright.

I got to the bunkhouse and heard her yelling. I walked into her bedroom and knew she wasn’t in any real, corporeal danger. She was dreaming, and by the sound of it, it was pretty horrific. I could hear the distress in her voice and it killed me. Her whimpers were so sad, I didn’t think I’d ever get that sound out of my mind. I wished I could take this dream and these thoughts from her and make her feel better.

“Snow, it is alright. Whatever you are dreaming about, it isn’t real,” I consoled her, and touched her arm gently, hoping the sound of my voice and touch of my hand would be enough to pull her from her dark thoughts.

Snow startled awake and smiled sheepishly when she saw me there next to her bed. “What are you doing here? Are you here to save me again?”

I nodded. “I’m here for anything you need.”

“Will you k**s me again?” Snow asked.

I couldn’t believe she would ask me for something like that, but I didn’t want to give her a chance to change her mind. I leaned down and pressed my lips softly against hers. She came alive and kissed me passionately. It brought back the last time we kissed and how it felt to have her in my arms.

I kissed her harder and deeper, and it felt impossible to disentangle myself from her. I finally got ahold of myself when I heard that soft sound of submission that was quickly going to make me do something that I knew I shouldn’t. Snow was half asleep, and I didn’t want her to look back and think I’d taken advantage of her, so I pulled away, even though it was possibly one of the hardest things I had ever done. I wanted her so badly it hurt, but I wanted her in the right way. This did not feel like the right way.

“Do you feel better?” I asked

Snow nodded. “Yeah, I’m feeling much better.”

“Good. Try to get some sleep.”

“Are you really leaving?”

“I am.” When I said that, her eyes filled with tears. That grabbed at my heart in a way that was practically painful.

“You need to get some sleep, Snow. We’ve got a lot of work to do tomorrow,” I reminded her reluctantly.

“Stay here with me? Please?” She looked so hopeful, her eyes all big and wide. Too damn innocent.

What was it about men and innocence? We wanted it, even though the only thing we knew to do with it was crush it. As much as I wanted to believe that I was wrong, I knew it was true. I wanted to do that very thing to her so badly I could taste it.

“Okay, Snow, I’ll stay.” I couldn’t refuse her. I just wanted to help her feel better.

As soon as she started to pull me into the bed, I knew I was in trouble. I hadn’t lay beside her since she first came to ranch and had problems settling in. She used to have really bad nightmares then, but after a while, they lessened, and I thought she had turned a corner.

“What do you think is making your nightmares come back?” I asked Snow once I was settled behind her.

“Not sure what’s been triggering them.”

“Can you describe what you see?”

“Eyes. They stare into me and I can’t look away,” she said, and trembled in my arms.

I wanted to figure it all out for her, but I had no idea how to go about getting her the answers she needed.

“I feel so safe when I am with you, Dutch.”

That was the last thing she said to me before falling asleep.

I wanted to tell her that I loved her, but I wasn’t brave enough. I held her for about half an hour before I got out of her bed and made my way back to mine. It was so hard to walk away from Snow, but if I didn’t now, I wouldn’t be able to.