The Alpha’s Contract
Chapter 0310

Neah

"OW!" I land on my back a little hard and just lie here, stunned by the pain. My energy was almost non-existent and I was done practising for the day. There are only so many times I can deal with the breaking of bones in one afternoon. 'Better.' Nyx mutters "You have almost nailed it."

I had been practising in secret for weeks. Shifting into my Lycan without Nyx's help and it was far from easy. I wanted to give credit to all those that could shift without help.

I had given in a few weeks ago and actually spoke to Nyx, trying to replace out why she was forcing herself forward and her answer was always the same. 'I'm just trying to protect us.'

My body and mind had worked so hard to keep her from entering my thoughts that it was becoming impossible to keep her out. She was a constant. A piece of me that I couldn't suppress no matter how much I didn't want her in my head.

I fought against her. Every waking moment I tried to keep her out of mind, wishing that she would stop sharing her opinion, hoping that she would just give up. But she never stopped and the more I pushed, the more she pushed back.

"I want the darkness to go away." I had muttered one day. "I want you to go away." I hadn't wanted to become a monster. I hadn't wanted to become something that fed on blood and flesh. I still don't.

'Do you know what makes us better than the rest?' She had asked me during one heated discussion, 'Our blood.'

'I don't know what that means.'

'We are better than the others. Stronger. Powerful. A leader of Lycans. And you know it!'

I had laughed at her words that day and caught Abraxas watching me from afar. A dark look on his face that had me disappearing into the training hall and out of sight. I didn't want or need his opinion, especially while he kept silently torturing his mate, Maddie. 'Does it scare you?' Nyx had asked me one night after I had put the twins to bed. I hadn't even needed to ask what she meant because I knew exactly what she was talking about.

'Of course it does. I'm not any of those things that you keep saying I am.'

'Because you still don't believe in your capabilities, Neah. You still don't trust me and that is what is holding you back. We are one, Neah. Neither of us can survive without the other because this is who we are meant to be. You treat me as though I am a separate being instead of accepting me as part of you. Look at Jenson, he is dying because he lost his Wolf.'

At the time, her words made me question a lot of things. But more importantly, was she right? Was I responsible for my own struggles?

'You need to practise shifting.' She had declared when I said I was willing to listen.

'I can't... I will become..'

'No you won't, Neah, you have to trust me. You have to trust yourself.'

Now almost three weeks later, I'm lying on the bedroom floor with Dane and Damien staring at me. The secret was officially out and I inwardly groan. I wanted to keep it quiet until I was a hundred percent sure I could shift without asking Nyx to do it for me. "Neah?" That single word is full of so much doubt and annoyance from Dane as he stands over me. He hated it when I kept secrets. It wasn't supposed to be a secret, but a surprise, like tada, I figured out how to do something without his help.

I pick up my claws to acknowledge the men while my heart hammers in my chest. The shifting is getting easier and quicker, but I always end up crashing to the ground, unable to hold my balance.

When Nyx had pushed forward, she had always made it feel like a breeze. 'Because you keep moving. You need to practise while still.' she mutters in amusement.

Slowly shifting back, my neck cracks and then my back arches off the floor as my bones realigned. Nyx promised it would get easier and the pain would be less but right now, my body felt like it was on fire as everything slots back into the right place and I'm almost grateful I'm naked.