The Alpha’s Pen Pal (Crescent Lake Book 1)
The Alpha’s Pen Pal: Chapter 52

HAVEN

I kept my quick pace as I walked off Wesley’s porch and down the path bordered by his lawn. Nolan’s heavier footsteps sounded behind me as he followed me.

I reached the curb and looked to the left and then the right, deciding which way to go. Nolan stopped next to me, his hands in the pockets of his sweatpants, as he waited for me to make a choice. My plan was going great until I realized I did not know where anything was in Crescent Lake.

I crossed my arms and wrinkled my nose in frustration.

“Where exactly did you want to go, Luna?” Nolan asked.

“I need a shower,” I muttered, remembering my bloody hair and the sweat and general grossness from the club the night before. “A really long, boiling hot shower,” I continued.

“I thought you wanted to walk?” he asked with a chuckle.

“I just needed some excuse to get out of his house,” I admitted.

He laughed again and nodded, then ushered me towards the left. “Come on, Luna. I’ll take you to the packhouse. Just be careful since you’re not wearing shoes.”

I glanced down at my feet as I followed him and sighed. In my haste to get away from Wesley and make him sweat, I had forgotten I didn’t have any shoes.

“Well, at least the pavement isn’t hot,” I said.

“And the packhouse isn’t far,” Nolan added as we continued walking.

“What’s the packhouse?”

“Enormous house. Looks like a cabin on steroids.”

“Oh yeah. I saw it when I came here with Maya for her birthday. She said it was a clubhouse.”

“It’s like our headquarters. The lower floors have a kitchen, dining room, offices for various ranked members, and some guest rooms and apartments. Wesley’s family lives on the top floor in what’s basically a penthouse suite.”

“Why’d he move out?” I asked.

“He wanted his own space and privacy from the rest of the pack. Something about wanting to keep his family life separate from his work life. Which is funny since the pack is his family too.”

I chuckled but nodded. “I get it, I think. It’s nice to have a place that’s just yours, you know?” I said with a glance at him.

He pursed his lips together, his demeanor shifting at my words. There was silence between us as we walked, and I looked around, taking in the scenery of Wesley’s hometown—his pack.

The redwoods surrounding the entire area were taller than any I’d seen before, perfect for hiding people who could change into animals. The breeze blowing off the lake carried the scent of pine and sunshine and the hint of snow or rain, a sign that winter was on its way, even though it was still mid-October.

It was a beautiful place, and just as I had that day at Maya’s birthday party, I felt comfortable there. Like I belonged.

“You don’t actually plan to reject him, do you?” Nolan asked, breaking our silence as he led the way to the packhouse.

“I don’t even know what that means,” I replied with a shrug.

“It’s how we break the mate bond so we are no longer tied to our mate. Usually, it’s only done if one mate is abusive or cheats on the other, but every once in a while it’s done for other reasons.”

“How does it work? The rejection?”

“It has to be done under a full moon. The mate doing the rejection says ‘I reject you as my mate,’ and then the other person accepts the rejection, and the bond between them is severed.”

Nausea and panic ripped through me as I processed his words, at the thought of severing the bond between Wes and me. As upset with him as I was, as hurt as I was, there was no way I could break that connection. And not just because of that feeling I got at the thought of doing it, but because Wesley was truly what he’d described—my soulmate. My other half. A perfect match.

I furrowed my brow and glanced at him again. “Why are you telling me this? Isn’t Wes your best friend? Your ‘alpha’? Shouldn’t you want me to just accept him? No questions asked?”

“Of course I want you to accept him. Not because you have to, but because he’s a good male, and I know he really, really cares about you, and I think you feel the same about him. But you should know you have the option to reject him, should you choose it. You will not be forced into being his mate if you don’t want it.”

My lips twitched with a small, grateful smile at his words and honesty. He didn’t have to tell me I had an out, but he did anyway. He was loyal, but not to a fault. Not when that loyalty would hurt someone else.

“Thank you for telling me, Nolan,” I said, reaching out and touching his arm. “But I don’t actually plan on rejecting him. I just want to make him sweat a little. Ignore him a bit and give him a taste of his own medicine.”

Nolan stared at me for a moment, then threw his head back and laughed. “I knew I liked you. You’re the perfect luna for Wesley. He needs someone to put him in his place sometimes.”

Luna. That word again. I’d heard it used several times regarding me, but I didn’t understand why.

“What’s a luna? Why do people keep calling me that?” I asked him, crossing my arms against the cool breeze.

“It’s what the alpha’s mate is called. Since Wes will be our alpha, you will be our luna. It’s your title, but it’s also a sign of respect. The luna is the most important member of the pack.”

“Isn’t the alpha the most important?”

We’d reached the large cabin—the packhouse—but we stopped on the lawn as Nolan turned to me. “Anyone who thinks that is a fool. The alpha may lead the pack, but the luna leads the alpha. A pack without a luna is a pack without its heart. That’s why our pack won’t transfer the alpha title until the heir has his luna.”

I sighed and rubbed my forehead. “Well, you don’t have to call me luna. You can just call me Haven. We’re friends. We were almost siblings,” I said, gesturing between us as I sat on the steps of the cabin.

“I would stop, but Wesley ordered me to call you that. He said, ‘You’re her gamma. You will call her by her title.’” He lowered his voice as he mimicked Wesley’s voice and tone he used when he was in his bossy mode.

“When did he do that?” I asked with a roll of my eyes as he sat next to me.

“A few minutes after we left his house.”

“How?”

He tapped the side of his head. “It’s called a mindlink. We can talk to anyone in the pack through the link. That’s how he talked to me the other day when he showed you his lycan.”

I nodded. That made sense and was pretty cool and very convenient. “Did he say anything else to you?”

“He said, ‘Please convince her to accept me.’”

“And what did you tell him?” I asked with a suppressed giggle.

“I said, ‘My luna is mad at you, so I’m mad at you. If you want to fix it, you need to fix it on your own.’”

I laughed out loud at that. “I’m sure he loved that,” I said with a shake of my head.

“He said ‘Fuck you’. And then he said ‘Damn it, you’re right’. And I haven’t heard from him since.”

“Maybe he can finally put his groveling plan to work,” I said.

“He never even came up with anything for that,” Nolan laughed.

“I know.” I smirked.

He shook his head at me and stood up, offering his hand to help me up. “Come on, Maddie is waiting for us. She said you can use her shower and borrow some of her clothes.”

I stood and followed him into the house. I braced myself to be bombarded by sounds and people, but thankfully, he’d led us in by a side door that took us straight up the stairs.

While the outside of the house resembled a cabin, they decorated the interior with a minimalist and modern taste. Spotless and white, with light decor and a few houseplants.

When we reached the landing, I could tell we’d entered Wesley’s family home. Because covering the entry wall were various snapshots, school photos, and family portraits of Wesley, Sebastian, Madeleine, and their parents, all from different ages and seasons.

“Haven!”

I turned to see Maddie smiling at me, her blue eyes looking over me. “Hey, Maddie,” I said with a small wave and a smile.

“Come on, I’ll let you pick out what you want to wear and get the shower started for you.”

“Where’s your dad?” Nolan asked her as we started walking down the hall.

“In his office. I think he’s on the phone with Alpha Benjamin or maybe talking to the councilman.”

“I’ll be down there when Haven is done,” he said, then he turned and went down the stairs.

Maddie and I went into her room, and she led me to her closet.

“How are you feeling?” she asked, a tiny flicker of worry passing over her face, there and gone again in a flash.

“I’m okay. Mostly a little overwhelmed by everything.”

“Nolan said you were pretty much healed, but I can imagine the information overload is exhausting,” she said with a nod.

“Yeah, it is,” I agreed.

“Well, I won’t talk too much then. I don’t want to overwhelm you more. Pick whatever you want,” she said, gesturing at her clothes, then she walked into the attached bathroom.

I looked down at Wesley’s shirt, breathing in the scent of him that lingered on it from sleeping in his bed with him. I didn’t want to wear something else. I wanted to at least feel like he was near me.

But it was probably kind of gross from the grime I could feel on my body. I needed a clean one. But I didn’t want to ask for one of his shirts either. I didn’t want him to know I already missed his presence and his touch.

I frowned and grabbed a blue and yellow plaid flannel shirt from the closet and a clean pair of leggings from a shelf, then went into the bathroom. The soft pink and white room was already filled with steam, and a fluffy black towel sat folded on the counter, waiting for me to use it when I finished.

Maddie smiled. “Take as long as you need,” she said, then left and closed the door behind her.

I removed my clothes and got in the shower, taking my time to scrub, wash, and remove all traces of the club and the attack, Lennox, and my blood from my body. And the whole time, all I wanted was to be with Wesley. To have him hold me and caress my skin under the flow of the water like he did that night we shared. To have him wash my hair and massage my scalp.

My body, my heart, and my soul ached for him. And I’d only been away from him for an hour or so.

After I got out of the shower, I dressed quickly, grabbed a pair of shoes, and left Maddie’s room. Then she led me back down the stairs to the main floor.

Nolan leaned against the hall by the door we’d used to enter the house, and he smiled at me as I approached him. “What do you want to do now, Luna?”

“You seriously can just call me Haven,” I said with a sigh.

“I told you Wes ordered me to call you that.”

“Well, I order you to not call me luna.”

He frowned and crossed his arms, his brain working through the conflicting commands. Then he sighed, rubbed his forehead, and said, “Okay, Haven. What do you want to do now?”

“I’m starving,” I said as my stomach growled.

“Oh, good, because I’m hungry too.” He laughed. “It’s already after eleven, so does pizza sound okay? We have a pretty good pizza place in the little town here.”

“Pizza sounds perfect.”

He led the way through town with me close behind him. The shoes I borrowed from Maddie were just a touch too big, but luckily, we didn’t have far to go, so the odds of blisters would be low. We sat at a table in the small restaurant and ordered our pizza, then waited, sipping our drinks.

“What’s a gamma?” I asked as I played with the condensation on my water glass, remembering the word he’d used earlier to describe himself.

He tilted his head to the side and thought for a moment. “The gamma is the luna’s beta,” he said. I raised one brow at him. “Right. Uh, the beta is the second in command to the alpha. Reid will be Wesley’s beta. So the gamma is the same, but for the luna. Basically, I’m whatever you need me to be. Some gammas act as a bodyguard if the luna isn’t a fighter or a warrior. Others just help them do their tasks around the pack. Some do both.”

I nodded, but then I frowned. “I don’t know anything about leading a pack of werewolves.”

“None of us do, really.” He laughed. “But we’ll all be here to help you in whatever way you need.”

“What about my career? My dancing?” I asked.

He pursed his lips in thought. “You’ll have to discuss that in more detail with Wes, but I can’t imagine him forcing you to give that up. He knows how much ballet means to you.”

“Right,” I muttered.

At the mention of his name, I felt Wesley’s absence like a missing limb. I wasn’t sure how much longer I’d be able to keep up my little cold shoulder act, not if I felt like there was a hole in my heart without him near me.

“Does it ever get any easier?” I asked Nolan.

“Does what ever get any easier?”

“Being away from your mate? It’s been only a few hours, and I already miss him and want to be next to him or touching him. Does that ever go away?”

“I’m not sure. I’ve heard it’s a little better once you’re marked, but I really don’t know. Most mates spend a lot of time together once they replace each other,” he told me with a shrug.

“But, like right now, don’t you miss Rachel and want to be with her or near her? You haven’t seen her since when, yesterday?”

“Rachel isn’t my mate.”

“Oh,” I said, blinking. “I’m sorry. I just assumed—”

“It’s all right,” he said. “She may not be my mate, but I still love her.”

I took another sip of my water, thinking about what Maya had said at the gala. About Nolan’s ex. I looked at him over the rim of my glass, debating whether or not I should ask him about it.

He sighed and set his glass on the table, looking at me the same way I looked at him.

“I can practically hear the wheels in your head spinning,” he said. “Just ask. I’m an open book. Everyone here knows about it anyway,” he added, leaning back in the booth.

“Who was Kimberly?”

“She was my mate.”

“What happened?”

“She rejected me,” he said, pressing his lips together. “She was with someone else already—an alpha—and chose him over me.”

“I’m so sorry, Nolan,” I said.

“It’s fine,” he said, shrugging. “I mean, it wasn’t. I was a right mess for a while afterwards. But it was several years ago. And now I have Rachel. She helped me. We helped each other.”

“Was she rejected too?” I asked.

“No. Her mate passed away.”

“Oh,” I said with a frown.

Silence fell over us again, and the server brought us out our pizza and some plates. I inhaled the scent of the garlic and the various veggies as I pulled two steaming hot slices off the pan, and watched as Nolan did the same, wincing as the sauce hit his fingers.

I giggled, fanning the pizza with my hand. “So, do you think we’ve made him sweat long enough?”

Nolan laughed and took a bite of his pizza, then chewed while he thought. Finally, he swallowed and said, “Nah, I think we should leave him to freak out for a little longer.”

I smiled at him. “You’re right. He can suffer a bit more.”