The Alpha's Unwanted Mate
The Alpha’s Unwanted Mate Chapter 18

Celeste brushed her teeth and took a quick shower before she ended up in the kitchen, seasoning the meat Zillon had brought back with him. She felt as hopeless as she did yesterday. She felt like she was without a chance.

Her heat was gone, but the pain in her heart wasn’t. What he said this morning was still playing around with her mind.

‘The mark means nothing either, I was just caught up in the moment.’

He could’ve never just been caught up in the moment. The elders were rather detailed when they taught her about marks. A mark is like a confession, especially if it’s done during s*x.

Instincts take over, the matebond rises and then the teeth bares. Without attraction, without a bond, that would never happen…

Or perhaps while making love to her last night he was thinking about Celia.

How mortifying…

It must’ve been a torture for him to look her in the eyes, it must’ve been so hard for him, but could you imagine how hard it was for her?

She knew this would happen, he told her twice that it would mean nothing. When he asked for her consent, she should’ve turned away, should’ve told him no…

But her mind tricked her, or rather her own strength did. She probably thought she’d be able to withstand the pain, she overestimated herself because now she realized she couldn’t. Watching him look her in the eyes and tell her that last night meant nothing was heart-shattering especially since it meant so much to her.

Why had he done it with so much passion if he wanted her to forget?

Why had he k!ssed her in such deep destitution if it all would sum up to nothing?

Why would he do that…?

Why would he do that to her?

How cruel, how heartless he is. His walls must be too high for her to climb, or probably the coldness that lingered around it made it too painful to even touch. Celeste was sorry she wasn’t the right one for him, she was sorry to have even been born.

What’s the use of being alive if all your life you’d remain unwanted?

Was this why the moon goddess created her…?

To withstand pain, heartache, mi—

“You’ve been standing there for far too long now. If you’re going to cook, f*cking cook already.”

Celeste’s heart jumped as she whirled around to face the familiar intruder. “I—”

“I don’t want to hear it, not a single word from you.”

“But—”

“I said I don’t want to hear it. You can continue spacing out, I’m leaving, probably won’t come back until it’s dark.”

“W-Why?”

“That sure as hell doesn’t concern you.”

But it did concern her, he was her mate, he was…

“Are you…g-going to see Celia?”

Zillon rolled his eyes, obviously annoyed. “I told you, didn’t I? What I do does not concern you. Even if I’m going to see Celia, what does that have to do with you? We’re just living together under difficult circumstances, I have no feelings for you and I hope you have none for me. Don’t question my whereabouts as if there’s something going on between us because there’s nothing.”

The truth that Celeste already knew shattered her heart as well as the dam behind her eyes. Tears flooded down her cheeks and something heavy clamped around her heart, suffocating her.

She took a deep breath, right hand grabbing onto the left side of her chest. “I’m sorry…”

“For what this time?”

“For still hoping or rather thinking that one day you’ll choose me.”

She swiped her cheeks getting rid of some of the salty water before staggering pass him up the stairs. Instead of going to her room, she headed for the bathroom and on the cold, tiled floor she sat, looking at the door she had locked.

She hated herself, she was too weak, too emotional. She had cried in front of him more times than she could count. Perhaps that’s why he fail to want her.

She needed to be strong, even if she had to feign her strength. But how could someone who was born weak be strong?

He was her mate, he was suppose to accept her however she is. Everybody had flaws. She shouldn’t have to feign strength for him to want her.

In the first place, his words should’ve never been harsh enough to make her cry. He was the one who made her weak, he was who made her like this.

She had cried before, but she had never cried so much. Growing up with parents who barely gave her attention, she’d replace a safe and lonely place to relieve herself of the pain that induced on her.

She’d cry, but not once did the thought of taking her own life. She always relied on the fact that she’d replace a mate, one who she was sure would want her. But now that she had found her mate and he didn’t at all want her, the corrupted thought found it way to her head.

But it had every single right to, what’s the use of living if nobody wants you, even the moon goddess who created her abandoned her, so why not just abandon herself?

Why not jus…?

Celeste raised up off the floor, eyes searching the bathroom for something sharp, something, anything.

A razor, it laid delicately on the bathroom sink, smiling so brightly at her. She staggered her way over to it, but stopped in her tracks when she heard to front door close.

He must’ve stepped out now, he must finally be gone and when he returns, she’d be gone too.

A/N//

Zillon’s gone and Celeste is desperate and isn’t thinking positively. I don’t want anything bad to happen to her. I hope she doesn’t do anything stupid.