The Billionaire’s Hidden Heiress
[Book 2] Chapter 83

lan POV

Staring at the delicateness of the nape of her neck, the strands of light brown blending in with the golden hues of her hair, the sparkle in her blue eyes as she spoke to me, it was all intoxicating, but it also reminded me of one thing. That I was now less of a man. What use was it staring at a beautiful woman, when there was nothing I could do about it anymore? This woman was unlike anyone else I had ever come across. She was fresh-faced, honest, and genuine. There was no subterfuge in her, no attempt to bend over backward just because of who I was and what my last name was. She wasn't impressed by my wealth or the powerful connections I had. She just genuinely wanted to help. It was unnerving.

I wheeled myself out of the room, grateful to replace that she was gone. There were traces that she had been there, even though she'd only been in my flat for a few measly hours. Already I could smell the distinct scent of her flowered perfume lingering in the air. The flat was cleaner and I could smell the delicious mac and cheese she had left for me on the bench. I frowned, pushing myself forward to sniff at it, my mouth salivating. No doubt I had hurt Dawn's feelings when I had bunkered myself down in my room but I hadn't been able to spend another minute in her presence without saying something stupid in front of her. I glanced down at myself scowling and then wheeled myself to the fridge, looking for beer. Beer had the ability to numb the pain, I thought absent-mindedly, even if it was just for a little while.

No beer. My mouth dropped open. For a moment all I could do was stare blankly at the fridge. I could have sworn there was plenty in here earlier. I distinctly remember seeing it when I was in the kitchen earlier. I blanched, thinking of a certain golden-haired woman who had persuaded me to help her in the kitchen while she made delicious enchiladas. Had she emptied my beer and gotten rid of it? Anger swept through me. "Damnit" I shouted, slamming the refrigerator door shut "That wasn't any business of hers." I put my forehead against the fridge door, feeling helpless. Before the accident, I had drunk, but mainly in social settings such as business meetings, parties, or gatherings but since the accident, one beer or two had slowly transitioned to what constituted as several a day sometimes, which I knew wasn't good for me but I was bored and I was angry. I just wanted to feel numb. I just wanted the pain that was twisting my insides and making me sleepless at night to stop. Was that so bad?

"f**k" I muttered, wheeling myself to the front door. I opened it and blinked as Knox stood outside, his hand raised to knock on it.

s**t. My brother had the worst timing. I reluctantly wheeled backward as Knox came walking in, a broad smile on his face. I folded my hands on my lap, trying not to glare at him. It was hard. So hard not to blame my twin for my situation, Lorelai too but sometimes I let my temper get the best of me and I would shout at him, uttering words I didn't mean in my hatred about my condition.

"Hey," Knox said, regarding me warily "I just wanted to come by and see how today went with the new nurse"

I scowled "It went fine. Did you think I would abuse her or something?" I snarled.

He hesitated "No, but I wasn't sure if she would want to stay" he admitted wryly "Your temper lately..." he trailed off.

"I kept my temper today thanks very much" I snapped icily.

He rubbed the back of his neck "Well that's good" he mumbled, avoiding my eyes "Father said she seems like a sweet girl. He said you were getting along well."

"Sure, 'cause a woman is really going to have feelings for a guy like me. She saw me as a job opportunity that's all" my voice is bitter.

Knox looked at me, his eyes narrowed "I wish you would stop talking like that. There is nothing wrong with you. So what if you are in a wheelchair" he cried "A woman would be lucky to have you as a husband lan. You're not less of a man just because you can't walk."

I laughed "Sure," I said with sarcasm "keep telling yourself that Knox. We both know that none of the women I was seeing before has even so much come to see how I'm doing once they learned I was in a wheelchair. This is Karmic justice and we both know it" I said, glancing away as Knox stiffened "Punishment for what happened in college."

"That wasn't your fault lan."

"She died because of me," I said with disgust "She died and I walked away with almost no injuries."

"It was an accident."

"Brought on by an enemy pursuing us. They flipped our car, Knox. She was killed instantly."

"You did your best lan. They paid for what they did."

"It doesn't bring Sarah back though does it?" my smile is sardonic and crooked "The only girl I've ever loved and I lost her because of the all-powerful Grant name and my own foolishness because I thought I was invincible." "You've learned your lesson, this isn't karma lan."

I merely shake my head and clench my jaw. I believe it is. I deserve this. Everything that's happened to me. I'll never forget the look on Sarah's face as the light died from her eyes, her body right next to mine, upended in the car. It still haunts me. She had been so innocent and sweet. The first love of my life and I lost her. I hadn't been able to love anybody since, aware of the dangers that being with me might bring. I looked down at myself and gave a wry smile. I guess now I was safe from women throwing themselves at me. "I'm happy for you and Lorelai" I changed the subject and saw Knox's face flush with guilt "And I understand why you had to get married while I was in a coma" I added listlessly.

"We wanted to wait," he said guiltily "but the company needed stability and we didn't know if you would wake up and..." "It's fine Knox," I said sharply, as he fell silent "Stop harping on about it."

He falls silent and stares down at the ground. "When are you coming back to the company?"

For a minute I think I've misheard him. "What?" I ask stunned.

How could he even think for one moment that I'm going to come back to the company as I am? It's not possible. But the look in his eyes are sincere. I look at him dismissively. We argue about this almost every week and Knox continues to stubbornly push for me to come back. "We've been over this, I'm not coming back to the company," I said, my voice weary and tired.

"lan, you're the face of the company" he began.

"Was" I interrupted tersely "was the face of the company. I'm no longer associated with it. You and Father are doing a fine job of handling it yourselves."

"Not like you, lan" Knox said sincerely "You were the one who was the most organized. I can do so much, but I have limitations, you know that and Father is getting older and wants to stay retired. He's stepped in temporarily but he wants you to take over again" he insisted.

"Then he should either put you in charge or Flair."

My voice is dead.

"Flair has no interest in the company. She has her own businesses to deal with. I don't want to be solely in charge, I want you to come back and run it with me."

"Knox, it's not going to happen. Give up on this notion that everything is going to go back to the way it was because life doesn't work out that way."

"Why don't you stop being so stubborn" he shouts, losing his cool while I stare at him, a crooked grin on my lips "And just admit that you're too scared to come back. You have some sort of preconceived notion that you're going to be judged because of the wheelchair."

"Won't I be? Our enemies will see us as weak. Our shares will plummet. Investors will disregard us because of how I look." My tone is resigned.

"That won't happen. lan, if anything you'll be admired for your courage. You saved my life that night. If you hadn't pushed me out of the way" he tightens his lips, his cheeks flushed.

He would have died. It went without saying. I grip the handles of the wheelchair tightly and take deep breaths. "I appreciate what you're trying to do Knox but my answer is still no" I growl.

His shoulders slump. A look of defeat comes over his face. I pretend not to see it. I know he misses our brotherly camaraderie but I think it's best we keep our distance, even though my chest tightens at the pain I'm causing him. I clear my throat.

"My nurse is capable of taking care of me, she even made dinner," I said tightly, gesturing at the large dish on the counter while Knox merely nodded "so you don't need to worry so much about me. Worry about your wife" I said quietly "and your son that's going to be born soon. That's what's more important. Not me."

"You're just as important," he says woodenly, but I've grown weary of the conversation, my heart hurting in my chest. I roll towards the front door and open it, while Knox sighs in resignation, knowing that our brief discussion is now over.

"If you need anything" he begins just like he has a hundred times before.

I give a grim smile as he begins to head outside, "I'll call you" knowing that I wouldn't.

I never did. I was determined to be as independent as possible, but look how that was turning out. Everybody thought I was hopeless.

I watch the back of him and then slowly close the door behind him and lock it. Part of me begins to think about the company and what's happening to our shares and another part of me instantly tries to shut down the thoughts associated with it. I missed being busy, missed the challenges of being a CEO, but as I gazed around the apartment, I realized I had enough challenges to face already, some part of me constantly in denial.