The Billionaire’s Hidden Heiress
[Book 2] Chapter 85

lan POV

It was a sleepless night. I spent hours tossing and turning, only to wake up drenched in sweat, my upper body painfully sore and aching from the waist up. All my dreams had been filled with memories of the gunshot, and the feelings of helplessness I had experienced as I lay on the ground, blood pooling around me. I woke up panting and feeling panicked, only to remember that I was in my own unit or flat and that it was months after the incident. I was safe now. But it didn't prevent me from listening out for the merest sound that would indicate I wasn't alone.

I gritted my teeth and awkwardly managed to slide into my wheelchair by the bed. I headed to the bathroom and did my business and then went back into the bedroom. It took a lot of effort in order to get dressed. Where once before I might have dressed in my usual suit and jacket, now I wore sweats and a tank top. I looked rumpled, I thought eyeing myself critically and slightly disgusted with myself. But what was the point in dressing up, when I was only going to be staying home anyway? Besides it was too difficult to dress myself up in so many different items of clothing, and I knew I would need to do some physical therapy exercises today if my nurse deigned to show up.

By the time I had finished, I was slumped over the dining table, panting heavily. It shouldn't be this hard to get myself prepared for the day, I thought absent-mindedly. I hadn't even showered, mainly out of fear of using the shower chair or getting stuck. I heard a loud knocking on the front door.

"Come in" I snarled.

The door burst open and Dawn came sauntering in, with a brilliant smile on her beautiful face, instantly brightening up the room. She put her bag down and came over, peering at me anxiously as I straightened up and faced her. "You came back" it was more an accusation than a question.

She looked confused "Did you think I wouldn't? You don't scare me that easily" she quipped while I fought to keep my lips from curving into a smile.

"By the way how was the macaroni and cheese?" she asked, spotting the container in the sink.

"It was adequate," I said dismissively.

It was delicious. I had two servings but I wasn't about to admit to it. She hummed under her breath and then faced me, looking me over. "So lan," she said very slowly as I gripped the armrests of the chair tightly "I was wondering, how would you feel about having a nice warm shower?" she suggested.

My mouth dropped open. "I'm sorry, but no" I shook my head as she folded her arms and regarded me steadily.

"lan, I didn't help you shower yesterday and from the looks of it, you um" she blushed "haven't had a chance to shower this morning. I'm willing to bet that just getting dressed was enough to tire you out."

I flattened my lips and didn't answer. She sighed. "Look, I know this might be upsetting to you, but part of my job is to help you. I can understand your desire for privacy" she said delicately "and I'll do what I can to preserve that, but a lot of people are nervous when it comes to showering until they are able to get the hang of it for themselves. Especially transferring to and from the shower chair."

I flushed. She raised a brow. I wanted to protest. This was humiliating by far. But she was also correct. I was nervous about showering. When I'd been at the hospital, the male nurses had helped or I had sponge bathed myself. Here, that wasn't an option and although my bathroom was accessible, I was still apprehensive about doing it all myself.

"I'm hungry" I grumbled.

"Would you like food first then or shower?" she was patient.

Damnit. How was I supposed to think straight when she was so close to me? I was painfully aware of what my body odor must be like and felt nothing but shame. "Shower" I muttered.

She nodded. "I will go and make sure the shower chair is accessible and grab a towel," she said kindly "Be right back." Huh? She was gone for like a minute and then came back. "Right, if you wheel yourself into the bathroom, I can assist you."

I reluctantly wheeled myself into the bathroom, feeling apprehensive. She smiled at me reassuringly. I tried not to scowl but a fierce expression remained on my face regardless. It was a kick to the guts to have a woman helping me with something as personal as this.

I reach the bathroom and turn my head. She's behind me. "What now?"

She gestures with her hand. "Can you undress while I turn my back?" she asks still holding the towel.

I grit my teeth and nod. She turns her back and slowly, I pull my shirt off and fling it into the nearby hamper. The pants are a lot harder to maneuver without legs that move. They get stuck. I exhale. Dawn turns and promptly puts the towel over my private area, before kneeling to help me, pulling the pants off the rest of the way and disposing of them. I look away embarrassed as she checks out the shower chair.

"It's a bench" she realizes, extending it "You just have to scoot onto it and then back off it onto your chair. That's awesome," she said while I frowned at her.

The shower is open, with a curtain around it to keep the water from going everywhere instead of a glass screen, no doubt due to my needs.

"Do you want help?"

I shake my head and she half turns in case she's needed. The towel slides off my lap as I use my arms to hoist myself onto the bench and collapse onto it. The taps are at waist height and easily accessible and the shower head is a handheld one, also easily within reach. A shelf contains a razor, body wash, and sponge on it, along with a toothbrush in a case and toothpaste.

"Are you done?" Dawn calls out cautiously.

I'm naked. I turn the taps on, experiment with the water, and replace the right temperature, while she calmly stands and waits. "I'm fine, just stay there" I growl frustratedly.

The last thing I want is for her to turn around and see me without clothes on.

I manage to clean myself down, using the showerhead to wash off the soap, before placing it back in its holder and grabbing the toothbrush and toothpaste to do my teeth. It's strange how it's in the shower though, I think to myself frowning.

"I put the toothbrush and toothpaste in the shower. I thought it would be easier to do it while you were already sitting" Dawn called out uncertainly. "Thanks" I mumble around a mouthful of minty freshness.

I spit and then rinse my mouth out. As I go to put the items back, I miscalculate where the shelf is and drop the toothbrush, cursing out loud.

"Damnit."

Dawn turns around automatically and I see her cheeks turn bright red as she spots the problem. I grit my teeth, feeling foolish as she moves closer, ducking down to grab the toothbrush and carefully place it in the sink. Her hand gets wet as I clench my jaw, feeling beyond frustrated. I want her to turn back around now, but she continues to watch me, and I feel like an animal must feel like in a zoo. "Are you ready to come out now?"

I realize the wheelchair has to be moved back into position. That's why she's waiting for a response.

"Yes," I bite out.

She turns and grabs it, putting it next to me. I turn the taps off, stopping the water. Now what? I was wet. She hands me a towel, glancing away quickly.

"Dry yourself as best you can," she said softly and placed another towel on the seat of the wheelchair so that it wouldn't get wet. I quietly began to rub myself down and then swung myself into the chair, Dawn walked into the bedroom as I began to wheel myself back to the bedroom.

I was so tired. Everything took a massive amount of effort to get done. Dawn grabbed some new sweatpants and a tank top and put them on the bed. Without turning she handed the shirt to me. I quickly put it on over my shoulders. I grabbed the pants and struggled.

Silence. I let out a low growl. This was beyond humiliating. Dawn remained where she was, a calm expression on her face. I coughed. "Could you please assist me" I bit out.

She turned without a word and knelt in front of me, quietly putting the pants on me and sliding them up. She wriggled them and got them up all the way to my surprise, some sort of trick, and then stood back. "Shoes?"

I pointed wordlessly to the closet. Within moments she had put them on my feet and then begun to wheel me out to the table, my stomach beginning to growl loudly.

"There, that wasn't so bad," she said cheerfully, heading towards the kitchen.

"Are you kidding?" I said angrily "I had to get you to help me like I was some helpless baby. I couldn't even reach the stupid toothpaste on the floor after I dropped it" My voice was filled with self-recrimination "That was the most humiliating experience of my life" I added bitterly.

She paused in the kitchen and when she turned towards me, her hands going to her hips, her eyes blazing. Something I had just said had upset her demeanour but what? What had caused the smile to slip from her face? She stepped closer to me and I swallowed hard, fighting the urge to back away in the wheelchair as she leaned over and put her arms on the arms of the chair, and moved her face so that it was mere inches from my own.

"Mr Grant" she began and from the tone of voice she used, I could tell instantly how angry I had managed to make her, even as I marveled at how beautiful she looked with her cheeks such a rosy red color and her eyes blazing a bright blue. I should have been afraid but I couldn't stop looking at her pale pink lips and wondering what it would be like to kiss them. Her next words stopped me cold however and I was forced to admit that I might overexaggerated the situation as she began to tear into me.