The Bonus
Chapter 16

“Are you serious?” I snap.

“Stop whining about him being in your house. He’s trying to do the right thing and came to say goodbye in person. He could have just gone to court and gotten an order to take them to New York just like you thought he would. You told him it’s all or nothing, your words and not his. He’s obviously thought long and hard about this and realized the fact that he can’t be there for the kids as much as they need him and is graciously stepping aside. I know it’s not the decision you hoped for, but you are the one who did the whole ridiculous all-or-nothing scenario.”

“Because I don’t want my kids to be here waiting for him all the time while he’s in New York with his new kids while totally ignoring them. They are happy now; they want for nothing.”

“I get it. I really do.” Deb sighs as her eyes go back down to him. “And he does too. He’s thinking of their needs before his own and trying to do things the right way, at least give him some credit for that.”

“What about the invasion of my privacy?” I widen my eyes. “Huh?”

“Don’t blame him for you leaving your dildo around.” She widens her eyes back.

“Mom.” Lucia comes running up the stairs toward me all excited. “Gabriel is here.”

My stomach flips with fury at her excitement. “Is he?” My eyes roam down to the front row and I can see the back of him as he sits and watches, his broad shoulders, they stand out from a mile.

“Can I go and sit with him?” she begs as she jumps on the spot.

I fake a smile. “Sure.”

“Yay.” She skips down to the front row and shimmies along the seats until she gets to him. I watch on as she taps him on the shoulder. He smiles broadly when he sees her and then moves his jacket from the seat to make room for her to sit down beside him. He says something and she smiles goofily up at him, her excitement that he’s here is palpable. I watch their interaction with my heart in my throat.

“How could you ever be sad about that?” Deb says. “Look how happy she is.”

“He’s leaving.”

“I know.”

“So how is her getting to know him doing anyone any good? This is a disaster waiting to happen.”

“Let him have his hour with them. He will be back in New York tonight and they will never see him again.”

“True.” I sigh. “I just don’t get why he wanted to come in person to say goodbye. If he’s leaving, just do it by text. Don’t put us through it.”

Deb raises an unimpressed eyebrow. “They are not just your kids, you do know that, right?”

The game goes on and on, but my mind is a mile away. My gaze keeps dropping down to Gabriel and Lucia talking and laughing as they watch, and I hate to admit it, but I’m livid that Lucia is awestruck by his nice-guy act.

I’m your mom, have some fricken loyalty kid.

“That was a great game,” Deb says.

I glance up, miles away. “Yes.” I clap as I pretend to know the game has ended.

What the hell, I’ve been so lost in thought, I’ve missed the entire game.

Gabriel and Lucy come up the steps of the grandstand to see us.

“Good lord,” Deb mutters under her breath. “Could he be any hotter.”

“Looks are deceiving,” I whisper through a fake smile.

He holds his hand out to Debbie. “Hello, I’m Gabriel.” His voice is deep and husky.

Debbie shakes his hand. “Hi.” She smiles mischievously as she stares up at him. “I’m Debbie, Grace’s best friend and cousin.”

“Oh.” His eyes widen. “I didn’t realize you were related.”

Bang, bang, bang goes the blood through my veins. Why does his close proximity affect me so much?

Cut it out, hormones.

“Do you live here too?” Gabriel asks Debbie.

“Yes, I’m the reason Grace first came to this town.”

“Hmm.” Gabriel acts grumpy. “I have you to blame for stealing her from me, do I?”

“I guess so.” Debbie laughs, and I roll my eyes.

Don’t try to charm her…you asshole.

Ugh…go back to New York.

“Oh.” Deb’s eyes flick to me. If I could say something, I would, I’m too distracted by the adrenaline screaming through my veins.

“Dominic played great,” Gabriel says casually.

“He did, didn’t he?” Deb agrees.

Did he? I have no idea; I didn’t watch one minute of the match. Too busy dissecting the trainwreck.

“Shall we head down?” Gabriel asks.

I nod, unable to push one nice word through my lips.

We walk down the grandstand and over to the side of the pitch and Dominic comes out of the changerooms with his bag; he glances up and sees Gabriel and his face falls.

So does my heart.

Gabriel forces a smile and I die a little inside. For both him and Dom.

“Great game,” Gabriel says.

“Thanks,” Dom grumbles.

Suddenly it’s awkward.

“I’ll get going,” Deb says. She rubs her hand through Dom’s hair. “Great game, buddy.”

“Thanks, Aunty Deb.”

“Have a great weekend.” She kisses my cheek. “Nice to meet you, Gabriel.”

“You too.” He smiles.

The four of us stand in silence, unsure what to say next.

Gabriel’s eyes hold mine. “I’ve made arrangements for you to be looked after financially, my accountant will be in touch to get your banking details.”

“That isn’t necessary, we don’t want your money.”

“Don’t be a fool, Grace.”

“Don’t even…”

“Well.” His eyes hold mine. “I guess I should get going.”

Emotion crashes over me like a shipwreck as we stare at each other.

“It’s for the best,” he says as if sensing my inner meltdown. “You’re right…about everything.”

I nod, unable to push a word past my lips.

“So goodbye.” He smiles down at the twins.

They have no idea how significant this goodbye really is.

Don’t leave them.

If he doesn’t want to be their dad, then I can’t change it. It’s better he leaves now rather than a long, drawn-out goodbye.

“Gabriel is going back to New York, guys, say goodbye,” I tell them.

Lucia looks up at him. “When will you be back?”

A frown flashes across his face. “I…I can’t come back.”

“Oh.” Her little face falls.

“Give him a hug,” I prompt them.

Gabriel goes down on one knee and Lucia gives him a big bear hug. He closes his eyes as he holds her close.

“It was so lovely to meet you,” he tells her. “I’ll never forget you.”

Lucy smiles into his hair as he holds her close.

My nostrils flare as I try to keep it together.

They eventually pull out of the hug and he turns to Dominic. “Can I get a hug goodbye?” Gabriel asks him.

Dominic sighs as if he is a major inconvenience.

“Hug Gabriel,” I snap as I widen my eyes. Can you stop being a little shit for just once in your life? This could be the only time you will ever get to hug your father, please just do it.

Gabriel grabs Dominic and holds him tight and seeing the two of them together is too much, the dam does burst this time and I quickly wipe a lone tear as it escapes.

I don’t even know why I’m crying; I know this really is for the best.

“It was an honor to meet you,” Gabriel says as he straightens his son’s T-shirt. “You look after your mother.”

Dominic nods.

Gabriel stands and his haunted eyes meet mine. “Goodbye.”

“Goodbye.”

We stare at each other for a beat longer than we should, his eyes drop to the kids and then without another word he turns and walks off.

The earth moves beneath me…

The kids instantly start to chatter as if nothing has happened, and to them it hasn’t.

I feel the pain run through me like a tidal wave. Not for me, but for them.

He got to know them, and still he didn’t want them.

The lump in my throat hurts as I stare at the ground.

How could he walk away from the two most wonderful things on earth?

What the hell is wrong with him?

Gabriel

I get into the waiting car and slam the door.

Mark turns back to look at me.

“Drive,” I snap.

“Are you . . .”

“Yes.” I cut him off. “Drive the fucking car.”

My elbow is resting on the window and my face leans on my hand and as we pull out of the parking lot, I close my eyes so I don’t have to watch them as they disappear.

A deep, dark lead ball sits in the pit of my stomach and I know it will never go away.

That was the hardest thing I’ve ever done.

I brush my teeth and walk into the bedroom. Ariana is already in bed and reading.

I watch her for a moment, her long dark hair is plaited and her cream silk nightgown stands out against her olive skin. There is no doubt about it, Ariana is one of the most beautiful women on earth. She glances up over the top of her book and gives me a smile. “What are you doing?”

“Looking at you.”

She taps the bed beside her. “Come and look at me like that from here.”

I climb into bed and take her in my arms. I’m riddled with guilt for a million reasons. I lied to her about where I was last night, I have two children that I haven’t told her about, I’m not excited about the wedding in the slightest, but the worst thing of all is…I can’t stop thinking about Grace.

I hold her tight in my arms. She deserves so much better.

Her hand slides down my boxer shorts, her engagement ring catches on the fabric and I reach in and pull it out. “I’m tired.”

“Since when are you ever too tired for sex?”

“Since tonight.”

Since I saw her.

I roll her onto her side facing away from me and I cuddle her back.

“Three weeks until we get married,” she whispers into the darkness. “I’m so excited to start our life together.” She picks my hand up and kisses it, and I close my eyes in horror.

Fuck…

“Let’s circle back to this report next week.” I reply to the staff around my board table. “Good work this month, our figures are on fire.” They all leave the meeting room with a buzz of chatter. I collect my things and begin to walk back to my office. I pass through reception.

“Mr. Ferrara, your mother and Ariana are in your office, sir,” one of the girls tells me.

“Thank you.”

I keep walking and roll my eyes, great. What are they doing here, I am way too busy for their wedding crap today.

I walk into the office to replace them both with their stilettos kicked off and shopping bags everywhere. They both have a glass of champagne from my bar.

“Ladies,” I say as I look around at the disaster zone. “To what do I owe this pleasure?”

Ariana jumps up and wraps her arms around my neck. “We came to show you what’s arrived.” She kisses me quickly and I pull out of her arms and peck my mother on the cheek. “Mom.”

“Hello, darling.” She smiles. “Take a seat.” She gestures to the couch.

“I don’t have time for this today.”

“We’ll be quick.” Mom smiles. “Show him, Ariana.”

Ariana digs through the bags and pulls out a box and very slowly opens it.

“Hurry up, this isn’t a marathon.” I sigh. “I don’t have all day, you know.”

Mom chuckles as she flops onto the couch beside me for the show.

The box opens and Ariana pulls out two crystal champagne flutes. “These are for all of the tables for the speeches.” She passes one to me. “Look at the engraving.”

My eyes scan the glass.

Gabriel and Ariana

Eternally bound by love

I curl my lip in disgust. “Bit over the top, don’t you think?”

“Nooo,” they gasp together.

“Ugh.”

“Oh, and there’s more.” Ariana widens her eyes.

“I can hardly contain my excitement,” I mutter under my breath.

“These are the chocolates for the table.” She pulls out a silver sample box and unwraps it and presents little chocolate statues of a bride and groom wrapped in foil.

“Look closer,” Mom tells me as she passes me a groom.

I look closer. “Why the hell does this chocolate look like me?”

“They digitally remastered our faces onto them.”

I cringe. “The last thing I want to see at my wedding is everyone I know sucking me off.”

Mom laughs out loud as if this is the best thing that has ever happened. “Those chocolates have made my life complete.”

I pass the box back to her. “Your life must be extremely boring. I have to get back to work.”

“Show him the surprise.” Mom grabs my arm so I can’t get up.

“Please don’t.” I sigh.

Ariana pulls out crystal candlesticks. “Look how perfect these are, and all the guests get to take one home as a souvenir.” She points down to the base that’s engraved.

Gabriel and Ariana

Eternally bound by love

“If I got this at a wedding and was expected to take it home, I would beat the groom to death with it.” I stand and walk over to my desk. “Take your tea party home, girls, I have to work.”

“And now for the real showstopper.”

I drag my hand down my face. “I wish this show would stop.”

Ariana lifts off a cover and there are two white doves in a silver gilded cage.

What the fuck?

“Are they real?” I frown.

“Of course they’re real. I’ve got to take them back this afternoon, but I wanted to bring them to show you. When we’re pronounced man and wife, three hundred doves are going to be released into the air as a symbol of our eternal love.”

I stare at her horrified, and utterly speechless.

Ariana bats her eyelashes all proud of herself. “Do you love them?”

“No. I do not.”

“Why not?”

“When I said you could organize the wedding, I didn’t realize you were putting on a circus performance complete with a fucking zoo,” I snap. “No doves.”

“But…”

“No fucking doves,” I snap.

Ariana’s face falls in disappointment.

“I’m overruling you, Gabriel. If Ariana wants doves, Ariana is getting doves. Only the best for my new daughter.” Mother smiles. “You have all the doves you want, sweetheart, get four hundred just to assert your dominance.” Mom winks at me and I clench my jaw.

Don’t push it, Mom.

I always wanted a wife that my mother approved of, but these two together is over the top.

“Leave,” I snap. “My next appointment is here.”

They laugh and chatter as they pack up their bullshit surprises and then slip into the sky-high heels.

I watch them for a moment, beautiful, immaculately groomed, both in designer clothing, perfectly styled dark hair with not a thing out of place, and I have an out-of-body realization that I am marrying my mother’s younger twin.

The thought is disturbing, how haven’t I seen this before?

Ariana kisses my cheek and my mother kisses the other and then they breeze out of my office just as they entered.

A whirlwind of glamor.

The door closes behind them and my office falls silent. I try to concentrate, but instead I walk to the window and stare out over the view of New York. I slide my hands into my suit pockets and my mind drifts to Greenville…with her.

I think of how different things would have been if we had ended up together.

This wedding would be Gracie’s worst nightmare.

Mine too.

Lost between two worlds…

She flicks her tongue over my end and my cock weeps in appreciation. I grab two handfuls of her hair and push my cock between her two lips, it slowly slides down her throat.

A million sensations, my balls contract as they get ready to fire and I feel the heat of her perfect mouth around me. “Suck me,” I growl. “Harder.”

Suction vibrates through my body and I begin to lose control.

So good, so fucking good.

I slam my cock down her throat and begin to ride her mouth hard. She gags and I go deeper. “Suck me dry.” We fall into a rhythm. “You swallow every last drop I give you.” I go faster, deeper. “Take it all.”

Her moans only make me harder, and I’m about to explode, her fingernails dig into my quad muscles and I lose it.

I slam in and hold myself deep as I come down her throat, my breathing is jagged as I struggle for air. Perspiration sheens my body as I look down at her and she opens her eyes.

Long auburn hair, creamy skin, voluptuous breasts, and a body built for sin.

Gracie.

I jerk awake, and as I gasp for air, I look around the darkened bedroom to see Ariana fast asleep beside me.

The room is silent and calm, so unlike the hot place I’ve just visited.

I can feel that I’ve just ejaculated, and I drag my hands through my hair.

Fuck…

I pant as I try to catch my breath, it was just a dream.

It’s okay, it was just a dream.

Who am I kidding, it was a fucking nightmare.

I wait in the restaurant and sip my scotch, it’s my monthly lunch date with my beloved friend Claire.

Claire and I have been close for over ten years, she’s cool and calm and hilariously dry. Funnily enough, she married one of my enemies, Tristan Miles. They have kids and it turns out he’s actually a good guy, not that I’ll ever openly admit it.

I remind myself, whatever you do today, don’t say anything about the recent events.

Claire calls a spade a spade and I don’t need her getting in my ear about my life.

I already know it’s a nightmare, I’m not spending our lunch being lectured.

She waddles through the restaurant and when I see her, I laugh out loud as I stand to greet her.

“What’s so funny?” She kisses my cheek.

“Why are you walking like that?”

“Pilates instructor from hell.” She laughs and sits down opposite me. “My ass is grass. I’m on a health kick that’s about to kill me.”

“It’s working. You are glowing.” I smile.

“Oh, I’ve got so much to tell you.” She jabbers on as she takes her jacket off. “Why didn’t you call me back last week, by the way?”

Before I can answer, she talks over me again.

“You won’t believe what Patrick has gone and done.”

I smile as I listen, something about Claire Anderson brings me a sense of calm. We met not long after her first husband died and for some reason we just clicked. She rants and raves while I listen and she’s probably the most normal person I know…apart from Gracie.

“What did he do?” I sip my scotch.

“He thought he would start Tristan’s Aston up in the garage…” She looks down at my drink. “Why are you drinking scotch at lunchtime?”

I roll my eyes. “Sorry, Mom.”

“Anyway, why he did it, I do not know, and the car jumped out of gear, lurched forward and hit the brick wall.”

I chuckle as I imagine the scenario.

“And Tristan is away in Paris and I’m trying to get it fixed before he gets back because he’s going to go absolutely postal.”

“When does he get back?”

“The day after tomorrow.”

“No chance.”

“Why, why not?” She puts her hand up to catch the waiter’s attention, “All I want is a glass of wine, this healthy crap sucks. Anyway, everyone is saying that they can’t fix it at short notice, I mean, it’s one little ding and a bumper, how hard can that be to do?”

I lean my face on my hand as I listen to her chaos, and I smile.

“Anyway, I told Patrick he has to pay for it, and then…”

“Does he have a spare thirty thousand dollars?”

“What?”

“It’s an Aston Martin, it isn’t going to be three hundred bucks, Claire.”

“Ugh…” She rolls her eyes. “Why does he have to have such a wanky car, anyway?”

“Because he’s a wanker.” I sip my drink.

“So…” She finally falls calm as her eyes replace mine. “How are you?”

My face falls before I can catch it.

“What’s wrong?” She frowns.

“Nothing.”

“Gabriel,” she warns. “Don’t lie to me, your face just told me that something is wrong.”

I stare at her for a moment.

“Gabe.” She takes my hand over the table. “Is it Ariana?”

“No.” I shake my head.

“The wedding?”

I drag my hand down my face.

Her face falls. “The wedding…what about the wedding?”

“You cannot tell anybody this.”

“It’s me, you know I won’t.”

“So…” I pause while I try to articulate my thoughts. “Last week I saw Grace Porter.”

“Oh, Gracie, there’s a blast from the past.” She smiles. “What’s she doing now?”

“Living in Maine with two of my children.”

She frowns, not understanding. “What?”

“We…” I stop myself.

“Gabriel, spit it out.”

“Before she left me seven years ago, we spent a night together.”

“How do I not know this?”

“She fell pregnant and never told me, I recently found out I have six-year-old twins. A boy and a girl. We have the paternity test results; they are definitely mine.”

Her eyes widen in horror. “What. The. Hell?” She puts her head into her hands. “How could she not tell you?”

“Exactly.” I take a big gulp of my drink. “She did come to see me weeks later, and I wouldn’t see her because I was in meetings and…”

“Don’t make excuses, she should have told you. That is need-to-know information.”

I exhale heavily. “I know.”

“Oh my god.” Her eyes search mine. “You have children?”

I nod sadly.

“Don’t be sad, this is wonderful.” She takes my hand over the table. “What did Ariana say?”

“I didn’t tell her.”

“What?” she snaps. “Why not?”

“Because Grace doesn’t want me in their lives.”

She stares at me, horrified. “So?”

“She’s told everyone that they were conceived using IVF and donor sperm and she asked that if I can’t be a devoted father then to step aside and leave them be. She doesn’t want them missing an absent father.”

“Oh.” Her eyes hold mine. “How do you feel about that?”

I shrug. “It’s for the best. I’m a workaholic who lives in New York. These children are eight hours away and…” My voice trails off. “They can’t miss what they don’t know.”

She slumps back in her chair and thinks for a moment. “What are they like?”

“I have photos.” I open my phone and swipe through to a photo I took of Lucia at the game. “This is Lucia.” I pass the phone over and Claire smiles as she looks at it.

“Look at her, she’s beautiful,” she coos.

“You’ve never seen a more gorgeous child, Claire.” I smile proudly. “So smart and sweet.”

Claire smiles sadly. “And the boy?”

I swipe through my phone again, I took a few photos of photographs that were in frames on the mantle, I knew I would want to look at them later. “This is Dominic.” I pass the phone back to her and she gasps and puts her hand over her mouth. Her eyes rise to meet mine. “He’s so…”

“Like me.” I finish her sentence. “A total little prick.”

She giggles. “Really?”

“Ugh.” I sip my drink. “Totally unmanageable. We fought the first time we met.”

“Oh.” She puts her hand over her heart as she swoons. “They are so beautiful.”

I sip my drink and put my hand up for another.

“Strong children need strong parents, Gabriel,” she says. “If you want to be in their lives, don’t let Grace dictate what you can and can’t do.”

“But…”

“No buts. They can come visit and vice versa. Why do you think it has to be all or nothing?”

“Grace said…”

“Fuck Grace,” she spits, “I’m sorry, you are their father, this isn’t all about her.”

“But it is.”

“What do you mean?”

I hesitate before letting the next sentence leave my lips. “I can’t see Grace and not want her. If I see them, I have to see her, and I can’t be married to one woman while wanting another.”

Her eyes widen as she finally begins to understand the full complexities of the situation.

“You still have feelings for her?” she whispers.

“It’s like she never left. She’s all I think about, I’m dreaming of her. I nearly called Ariana by the wrong name while having sex the other day because in my head I was with Grace. I lie in bed beside my sweet, beautiful fiancée while I think about a woman who has been lying to me for seven years, Grace fucking Porter.”

“Oh fuck.” She stares at me. “Oh hell. This is bad. This is so bad, Gabriel. Your wedding to Ariana is in three weeks.”

“Do you think I don’t know that?” I whisper angrily. “I’m the worst person on earth. I’m deserting my own children because I know I can’t not want their mother.”

She holds her temples and then puts her hand up for the waiter. “I need wine for this conversation.”

I steeple my hands in front of my mouth as I think. “Why would this happen now when I’ve been so happy? For the first time in my life, I finally have my shit together.”

She twists her lips as she thinks. “Tell me about Grace.”

“I don’t even know where to start,” I fume. “She’s insufferable and a liar. A total smart-ass. She hates me, everything that comes out of her mouth is sarcastic and infuriating. Not to mention the worst cook, you have no idea how bad the food is, Claire, it would literally kill a dog. She has this terrible house in the middle of nowhere with knitted cushions and all kinds of random bullshit furnishings and she wears gym clothes around and you can see every single curve of her ass. She smells like a walking wet dream and I had to wank in her bed because I’m perverted and I’ve never met a more fucking infuriating woman,” I blurt out in a rush.

Claire stares at me, horrified. “You’re still in love with her.”

“I am not in love with her,” I spit. “I’m attracted to her, big difference.”

“You were in love with her when she worked for you.”

“No.”

“Yes you were. Remember you admitted it to me once, you said that you purposely paraded other women around in front of her so that she hated you.”

“I did not.”

“Because you knew that if she liked you the same way that you liked her, that you stood no chance of resisting her.”

I drag my hand down my face in disgust.

“Tell me about Ariana,” she asks.

I shrug sadly. “Ariana is a good person.”

She listens.

“She loves me.”

“If Ariana hadn’t proposed to you, would you have ever proposed to her?”

I clench my jaw, hating my answer. “Probably not.”

“Didn’t think so.” She continues. “If Gracie was Italian and you and her dated back then, would you have proposed to her?”

“Yes, but I don’t want to hurt Ariana. She is the nicest person I know; she doesn’t deserve this.”

“You can’t marry someone because they are nice, Gabriel. You can’t marry someone to not hurt them. Marrying her while you have feelings for someone else is more painful. How can you possibly think that this marriage is going to work?”

“I get married in three weeks,” I whisper angrily. “It is too late to . . .”

“Call it off?” She cuts me off.

“Yes.”

I stay silent as I think.

“Tell me this, Gabriel…if you marry Ariana, can you honestly tell me that you will never think of your children and Gracie again? Are you going to regret this for the rest of your life?”

The thought of never seeing Lucia and Dominic again hurts my heart and her silhouette blurs.

We sit for a moment as we ponder over everything.

“If you are calling off this wedding, you need to do it today. Do not put Ariana through being stood up in the week of the wedding. She deserves better than that.”

“I’m not calling off the wedding,” I snap. I tip my head back and drain my glass. “I’m a man of my word. I’m marrying Ariana just like I said I would.”

“Fine,” she snaps.

“Fine,” I fire back.

“I’m not coming to your wedding.”

“Why not?”

“Because I can’t watch you make the biggest mistake of your life.”

Grace

“Oh my god, she’s so adorable.” I smile at the stage. Lucia twirls in her little bear costume.

“And how about that tree,” Deb whispers.

My eyes roam to Dominic standing proudly at the back with his little arms up as branches.

“Best tree I ever saw.” I giggle.

We are at the kids’ play at school. “There you are, Grace.” I turn to see Felicity Fox shimmying through the row of seats to get to me. “I’ve been looking for you everywhere.”

Ugh…the most annoying woman to ever walk the earth. She’s the head of the PTA of the kids’ school. She’s wearing a tight white Adidas tracksuit, and her long dark hair is up in a high ponytail. She’s gorgeous and immaculately groomed and the best Stepford wife in Greenville. Except just without the husband, he ran off a few years back and she’s been making everyone else’s life in town a living hell ever since.

“Ugh,” Deb mutters under her breath.

“Hi, Felicity.” I force a smile. “How are you?”

“I’m great.” She drops into the seat beside me. “I noticed you haven’t signed up for the bake sale.”

“Yes.” I shrug. “I’m just so…busy at the moment.”

“We’re all busy, Grace,” she replies flatly. “But you are going to help on Wednesday, aren’t you?”

“I have to work.”

“What do you mean?” she gasps. “But you help every year.”

And it’s the worst day of my life.

“Yes, but this year I’m too swamped.”

A total lie, I have Wednesday off, but I can’t deal with spending an entire day with this woman. I swore to myself that last year was the last.

“Can’t you get the day off?” she snaps.

“No.”

“This won’t do at all.”

“It’s a bake sale, Felicity,” Deb chips in. “Not the end of the world.”

“Yes, but we need Grace because of…” She hesitates. “Well…because of the obvious.”

“What obvious?” Deb asks.

“Well…she can’t bake, so she has to serve.”

“I can bake,” I snap.

“Oh, come on, Grace.” She rolls her eyes. “We all know you buy your cakes every year.”

You do?

“Why else would I be forced to throw your cakes out?”

“You throw my cakes out?” I gasp.

“It’s a bake sale.” She widens her eyes as if I’m stupid. “Not a buy sale. If we wanted supermarket cakes, we would ask for them.” She gives a condescending smile. “But I know what you’re like by now.”

I begin to hear my angry heartbeat in my ears.

“What am I like?”

“You know.” She laughs. “All Grace Porterish.”

“Un-fucking-believable,” Deb mutters under her breath.

I bite the side of my cheek to stop myself from telling her where to go.

I hate this woman with every fiber of my being, she thinks she’s so perfect…it kills me that she is.

“Well, I’m very busy and I can’t do the stupid bake sale that you are obviously obsessed with, and now that I know you don’t like my cakes, I won’t even bother buying them.”

“Oh, how sad for your children that their mother won’t support them at school.”

My blood boils as the sky turns red.

“Are you…”

Deb hits me on the leg to silence me. “Goodbye, Felicity, we’re kind of busy right now.” She gestures to the stage.

Felicity rolls her eyes and shimmies through the seats again.

“If I ever get that boring, shoot me,” Deb whispers as she watches her disappear.

“Gladly.”

It’s just on 9 p.m., the kids are tucked safely into bed, and after working today, cooking dinner, and then washing up, I’ve only just showered and sat down for the first time.

I flick through Netflix, looking for a new series to watch.

I’ve been so preoccupied since Gabriel came back that I’ve done nothing but worry.

I guess that now he’s gone, I can finally relax.

My phone beeps a text in the kitchen, who’s texting me at this time of night? I get up and grab it, it’s from Gabriel.

Hi

I frown, what does he want?

I text back.

Hi.

My phone instantly rings, and the name Gabriel lights up the screen.

What the hell?

“Hello,” I answer.

“Hi Gracie.” His voice is soft, cajoling. He only ever used this voice with me when we were alone in his office.

“Hi.” I frown. “What’s up?”

“I just…”

I listen as I wait for him to finish his sentence, he doesn’t.

A weird feeling comes over me, something is wrong with him.

“Where are you?” I ask softly.

“In my office.”

I get a vision of him standing at the window and staring out over the view of twinkling lights as we speak.

“Working late?” I ask.

“Yeah.”

I wait for him to elaborate, again he doesn’t. I get the feeling he has something to say but for some reason won’t.

“The kids are in bed,” I tell him.

“Okay…are they alright?”

Him asking if they are all right makes me get a lump in my throat. “Yes.”

Silence…

What the hell is going on here?

“They were in a play this week at school. Lucia was a bear and Dom was a tree.”

“Yeah?” I can hear the smile in his voice. “What was the play, when a bear shits in the woods?”

I giggle. “Something like that.”

We fall into an awkward silence again.

“You know, Gabriel, I’ve been thinking.”

“What about?”

“Maybe…” I pause. “Maybe I was too over the top.”

“What do you mean?”

“If you ever want to tell them who you are and come and visit. Just come home and do it.”

Silence.

“It’s not up to me if you want them in your life. It was selfish of me to think that it was. I just…” I pause as I get another huge lump in my throat.

“You what?”

“Maybe I am the most selfish person on earth,” I whisper through tears. “I just got scared…you know?”

Silence.

We both hang on the line, waiting for the other one to say something, eventually he does.

“Good night, Gracie,” he whispers.

“Good night.”

The line goes dead and I stare at the phone in my hand.

What the hell was that?

Gabriel

I walk into my penthouse just on 11 p.m.

I’ve had the worst day in history and it’s about to get ten times worse.

I replace Ariana sitting on the couch, she looks up at me and smiles. “You must be tired, you work too hard.”

I nod and sit down beside her. “We need to talk.”

“What about?”

“I can’t marry you.”