The Broken Wolf
Chapter 12

I try to hold in my emotions but I’m unable to. I’m not even sure what exactly I’m feeling other than anger. I know the emotions are there, but I’m just too mad to even deal with anything else right now. “Deep breaths” I’m telling myself in my head, over and over. I don’t want to meet my dad at the falls with tears still staining my cheeks.

To Seth’s credit, he may be an a*s, but at least he’s not a complete i***t because he’s smart enough to not even try to talk to me. I know he’s struggling to keep up with me. I’ve heard him fall a few times on the rocks that I haven’t bothered to tell him are wet. There’s some mud up ahead and you can be sure I’m not going to point it out to him either. I step across the mud and a few steps later I hear him slip and hit the ground. I also feel his pain and I feel a little bad, but not enough to stop.

We’re getting close to the falls so I stop and try to pull myself together. Seth stops beside me, wipes his hand on the shoulder of his jacket (possibly the only part of him not covered in mud) and reaches to my face to wipe my cheeks clear of tears. “I really am sorry.” he says to me and I know he’s sincere, but I just need some time to think through all of this.

“The falls are just ahead,” I tell him. I’d picked this path because they come out at the side of the falls and it’s just a gorgeous view when the sun rises and it’s behind the spray of the water, but I just want to get to my dad now, so I start going up. He doesn’t deserve an amazing view now.

After a few more minutes, I take one last deep breath before we step out of the thick of the woods and we can see our dads. Walking up, King Phillip takes in his son and starts to laugh, but my dad is not laughing when he meets my eyes. He can tell I’m upset. I hear him in my head. Are you OK?

Yes. I don’t want to talk about it. I tell him and, thankfully, he leaves me to my thoughts. I don’t want to get upset again now. I take off my backpack and pull out the box of muffins. I turn so the open box is facing my dad and the King and they each take one. Then I reach in and grab one and toss it to Seth. He catches it, but I can tell from his face he’s not amused. The men are standing there watching the sun rise finally and I sneak off to the side and sit at the base of one of my favorite trees.

The sunrise is beautiful. It always is here, though. I like to come here alone sometimes, well, as alone as I’m allowed to be. I see my dad walking down a bit and I realize he’d set his coffee cup down and he’s going to retrieve it.

“Are you just going to leave your mate sitting on the ground alone, son?” I hear King Peter say.

“I think she just needs some time alone.” I hear Seth return and I know I shouldn’t be listening, but it’s not my fault that everyone forgets I have wolf hearing.

“Did you tell her?” Peter asks him.

“No, she doesn’t ever need to know that, Dad.” What else could he possibly be hiding that’s worse than what he’s already told me?

“Seth, she seems like a reasonable girl. It may help put her mind at ease. But what did you do to upset the poor girl so much?”

“Dad, leave it. She doesn’t ever need to know that I can’t reject her.” I hear Seth say and I feel my heart fall to the pit of my stomach.

“You can’t reject me?” I say aloud to him and they both turn with panic-stricken faces, realizing I’d heard their conversation.

“What?” I hear my dad growl out from behind them and he looks more angry than I have ever seen.

“Randall, why don’t we talk over here. I think it may be best for the kids to talk alone.” King Peter says to my dad, turning to walk away. I leap to my feet and decide for once, to stand up for myself.

“Actually, I think it might be best to hear it from you. Since anything from Seth would only be the truth if it’s convenient.” I spit out, my voice laced with the anger I can barely contain.

“It isn’t like that, Molly. I made a very stupid decision,” Seth says.

“And then another, and another, and another. How many was it, exactly?” I spit at him and I can feel my emotions starting to spiral out of control. I stop and take a deep breath and I feel my dad come in front of me and gently place his hands on my shoulders.

“What’s going on, kiddo?” he asks me and I close my eyes, trying hard not to cry even more. I don’t know where to even start to tell my dad what Seth admitted to me earlier.

“Dad, I…” my voice cracks and I realize just how hurt I am by everything and I just can’t handle everything I’m replaceing out today.

“Sir,” I hear Seth speak up and I can’t imagine what he’s going to say here. “I made some mistakes that hurt Molly when I told her about them.” he tells him. What a broad explanation.

“Randall, it seems the girl overheard us talking about the fact that Seth couldn’t reject her, even if he wanted to.” Peter offers. I’m sure they can feel the concern that is emitting from my dad. “He doesn’t want to, though. I thought it might help her feel more secure but Seth thought not, thus why she didn’t know yet.” he continues.

“Why can’t you reject her?” my dad quietly growls out, his eyes never leaving me.

“It’s royal protocol. We’re selected by the Goddess to lead the wolves, we couldn’t possibly reject the mates that she has gifted us.” King Peter explains and honestly, that makes some sense.

“I was asking the boy,” my dad says and he looks like he could snap and murder someone.

“Alpha Randall, the explanation my dad gave is true. But if a royal rejects their mate, they are unable to assume the throne. Since I am an only child, that would leave the throne going to my uncle, who would ruin wolves. We suspect he may be involved in kidnapping and selling she wolves, but we don’t have any firm proof of such yet.” Seth finishes.

“Molly, kiddo, what did he do before you guys got here today?” Dad says, still looking only at me.

I look up at him and as much as I’ve tried not to, I begin to cry. My dad pulls me to his chest and envelopes me in a giant hug.

“What. did. You. do. To. her.” and I realize the voice coming from my dad is his wolf, and not his own.

Seth must also realize, because he steps towards my dad and says “Sir, I’m sorry. I made some poor choices before. I felt I should tell her about them in an effort to be honest, but it hurt her more than I realized it would.” He’s dumb, but he’s brave to admit any of this to my dad.

“And what were these poor choices?”

“I. Sir, I’m sorry. I realized 4 years ago when Rob and I were at training that Molly was my mate.” My dad snaps his head over to look at Seth, and then down at me.

“I wasn’t aware the two of you had ever met.” he says with confusion.

“We hadn’t.” Seth continues “I realized when she would send gifts for Rob. I could smell her on the things she would send. But once I knew, I didn’t do the right thing.”

“Seth. What were you thinking?” King Peter roars. “Your mate is sacred. Why didn’t you go to her immediately? What about the girls you dated? You had a girlfriend when we left to come here!” I hear him say and at that, I finally jerk away from my dad.

“You left that out of the version you told me.” I say to Seth and I can feel through the bond how terribly he feels about the whole situation, but I’m too mad to care.

“I didn’t want to hurt you any more, Molly. I’m so sorry. For everything.” he says to me, but my dad steps in between us.

“Randall, take your daughter home. I’m going to have a chat with my son. I’ll see to it that this is all sorted out.” the King says to my dad. I thought my dad was the scariest man when he was mad, but I am terrified of the anger coming from the King right now.

“Just follow this path to get back.” My dad says, gently turning me around and escorting me away. “Pete, you know that if your son was any other man in this kingdom he’d be dead, correct?”

“Of course,” he responds. “I can promise you he’ll treat her better than that in the future.”

And with that, my dad and I walk away in silence. Dad and I are nearly back to the packhouse before he says anything to me. I’m thankful for the silence, and the distance between Seth and I now. The effects of the bond really complicate your feelings when your mate is an i***t.

“Are you ok, kiddo.” he chances asking me.

“I think so”, I tell him, but I’m honestly unsure.

We get back to the packhouse and he opens the door for me, closing it behind us and heading to the Alpha office, undoubtedly to tell Robbie of the situation. I’m not sure what to do but I head up to my parents’ room to replace my mom. She’s not there, but I don’t want to have to search and I’m sure she’s with Queen Celeste.

I take off my shoes and jacket and climb into the middle of my parents’ bed like I did when I was a kid and scared. When my dad first found me, I instantly knew I was safe with him. I remember waking up under a tree and just wandering around, hiding when it got dark and sleeping under another tree. The worst was when the rain came. I was cold, and hungry, and then wet, so when Dad walked up and picked me up his warmth was a comfort. He carried me back to the pack house and up the stairs to this room.

My mom was waiting for us with dinner and helped me take a warm bath. They gave me some of Robbies’ pajamas and tucked me into bed between them. I was thankful, because I was still so cold and scared, but I knew I was safe there, tucked between them.

But now I’m in their bed and alone and, while it’s still comforting, it’s not the same. But I feel safer and finally let myself cry and feel all the emotions I’ve been trying to hold in. It’s not even been an entire day since I’ve met Seth, but he’s really done some damage. I’d convinced myself he was kind, and if he rejected me that he would be kind about it. I thought I’d prepared myself for that moment but I was wrong. I don’t know how long I’d been there, but I hear the door open and smell my mom. She doesn’t say a word but just climbs into the bed and pulls me into her arms and lets me continue to cry.

After a while, she finally pulls back a little and says “Talk to me” gently, like she always does when I’m upset.

“He doesn’t want me, mom.” I whisper to her and admitting it aloud to her, and myself, gives me a physical pain in my chest.

“You don’t know that. Feelings are complicated.” she says, brushing my hair back from my face.

“He doesn’t though, and he’s stuck with me. I think just being rejected would be better. I’ll always be the mate he’s stuck with.” and she just lays there, listening to me, letting me talk through all my feelings and the thoughts running through my head.

“He knew, mom. For 4 years he KNEW I was his mate, and he knew I wasn’t good enough. He said he didn’t think I’d be a good queen, that he searched for someone who would be better than me. It’s like he’s assuming that ‘I’ think I’ll be a good queen, and I certainly know I won’t. I can’t shift, I can’t link my pack. I can’t even mark my mate, mom. Looking at him markless would be a daily reminder of every way I’m not good enough.” I say to her and she k****s my head, still holding me.

“What if I can’t have pups? Or I die trying to deliver them? Or worse, I pass on the broken wolf to the future king?” I say between sobs.

“Molly, the worst of those would be you dying. If you pass it on, you pass it on. The Goddess does not make mistakes. If that’s what is supposed to happen, then it’s what will,” she tells me.

“He hates me, mom. And he’s stuck with me. The whole kingdom is.”

“You don’t know that he hates you. I’ll admit, he made some very poor choices, but he’s here now and you know about each other and you’re kind of stuck in this together now. “ Mom tries to reason with me. “It’s only been a day, but it’s been a busy one and I know how the mate bond can be. Give it some time, get to know each other better.” She tells me and I know she’s right but it all just hurts so much.

We lay there a while and I fall asleep, though it’s anything but peaceful. I’m too hot, and I’m too cold. I can’t get comfortable. I wake completely and realize that mom is gone and I’m alone in their room again. I finally decide to get up and head down to my suite. I grab my things and attempt to sneak down but I replace that the pack house is unusually empty. Thank the goddess, I quickly move through the house and down the stairs and lock myself safely in my home.

I realize that the bond isn’t going to let me sleep well while both of our emotions are so high, so, giving up, I decide to shower quickly and head to the kitchens to see if there’s anything I can help with. I never really arranged anything with Oliver for this afternoon and evening, but I’m sure that when I didn’t show up he jumped in and is taking care of things.

I put on some jeans, a t-shirt and a white chef’s jacket and head across the kitchens to replace them just as I expected and running smoothly. I peek in my office and see Oliver and he looks up at me. “You look like shit.” he says to me and I’m thankful for him.

“I know. And I feel like it. I’m sorry I didn’t show up, but thank you for handling everything.” I tell him.

“Of course. But is everything ok?”

“Yeah, it’s fine. Things just got a little complicated.”

“Ok. But why is your brother fighting your mate?

“Excuse me, what??”