The Broken Wolf
Chapter 17

Seth just stands there holding me, letting me cry on his chest until I don’t have any tears left to cry as he lifts me and carries me back to bed. He gently props my arm on a pillow before tucking me in and climbing in the other side of the bed and pulling me back to his side, just as we were before. We lay there a while, neither of us falling asleep. Seth just holds me, gently rubbing my arm, sometimes my hair, holding my uninjured hand. He’s so caring and attentive, it’s hard to believe I was afraid to tell him about my hidden medicine.

“I’m sorry.” I say, though sound barely comes out after crying for so long.

“Why are you apologizing?” He says to me, confusion upon his face.

“I didn’t tell you about my medicine. I just didn’t want Albert to get into trouble for helping me.”

“It’s dangerous for wolves to take human medicine. Our bodies don’t metabolize things the same as theirs. But if it works for you, and you already know that it does, there’s no harm. Especially when there’s a wolf in your pack who knows exactly where to get it.” He tells me.

“I knew it was dangerous to take it the first time I did.” I tell him, remembering how scared I was. “But the medicine for wolves makes me so sick that it made sense for the human medicine to be safe for me.” He doesn’t say anything, just k****s my temple. “If it helps ease your mind, Albert checked on me a few times each day for like a week after.”

“That does help. I hate that you did that without telling your parents. Your dad would have moved a mountain to do something if he thought it would help you. Just as I will now.” and I know he’s right.

“It was a really hard time for the pack when it happened. And I’d snuck out when I got hurt, and then got caught trying to sneak out of the packlands. I know he would have done anything to take care of me, but I didn’t want to cause more stress. And I didn’t want Albert to get into any trouble.”

“What’s done is done. Is there anything else I need to know about, though?” He asks. “No more secrets hiding around here?”

“No, I don’t think so. That was the only bottle of medicine I had and I know it won’t make me sick.”

“Good.” He says, kissing my head again. “You’re such a mystery to me and when I think I’m getting you figured out you do something to completely surprise me.” He says in my hair.

“You’ll probably never figure me out, Seth.” I tell him with a small giggle.

“Oh, I don’t know about that. You know you’re loved, but you still feel the need to prove yourself and that you belong. You’re worried about being a burden even though you enrich the lives of everyone around you. You care so much, and about everything and everyone and you care deeply how your pack appears to others, even though you very much pretend that you don’t. You pay attention to the smallest details that are often overlooked and I’m pretty sure you do that because you feel like a small detail in the pack, even though you shine brighter than everyone else here.” he says, taking my much smaller hand into his.

“I definitely don’t shine brighter than everyone else in my pack.” I tell him, trying to hold back tears.

“Molly, you’re more amazing than you could possibly realize. I spent years assuming you wouldn’t be a good queen because you’re a little different, but it took just a few minutes for me to realize how very, very wrong I was.”

“But I won’t be a very good queen to the wolves. I’m barely a wolf.” I whisper out such a big insecurity.

“You’re more amazing than you can even possibly fathom. Molly, you actually work. Not like how many higher-ranking wolves work, but you’re doing actual, hard work and you do it to care for your pack. And honestly, you do it with lower-ranking wolves, but you treat them as equals and that’s so important and what the wolf kingdom needs. We have so many Alphas and Lunas that don’t know everyone in their pack. They couldn’t tell you any Omega’s names. I have a feeling there’s not a wolf in this pack that you DON’T know. And not just their names, you know who they are.”

“You’re right, but it didn’t start out with me wanting to get to know them. I became friends with the Omegas in school because the kids of the higher ranking wolves made fun of me for being so weak. They didn’t care though, how strong I was, or what I could bring to the pack. They just liked me for who I was. And when it became more and more obvious that I wasn’t going to shift, that I really didn’t have a wolf, they didn’t care. They didn’t see me as a liability. The warriors protect the pack. That’s what they’re meant to do. So when there’s something slowing the pack down, something opening the pack up for attack, they get rid of it. But I’m the Alpha’s daughter, so they couldn’t just get rid of me. The Omegas always came together to make sure I was safe if there was an attack. Most of the Warriors protected the pack as a whole. I think some probably were hoping I’d just be killed in an attack and wouldn’t be a problem any more.”

“I’m sure they’re regretting their treatment of their future queen now.” He says, gently rubbing his hand up and down my arm in comfort.

“I’m sure they’re glad I’ll be leaving with you and becoming your problem now.” I giggle.

“You’ll be the best problem I’ve ever had.” He tells me. “The absolute best. The goddess blessed me by making your beautiful, difficult, curious self my mate.” he adds, and pulls my face towards him as he leans in and k****s me. “I’m the luckiest man in the kingdom to have you,” he tells me between k****s. As his k****s become more intense, I can feel him harden against my leg and he gently g****s. “I want you so badly, Molly.”

“I… I know. But I’m scared.” I tell him quietly, barely even a whisper.

“I know, Love. I know.” He says as he places his forehead against mine.

“I like that.” I tell him with a shy smile.

His brow furrows in confusion. “Like what?”

“When you call me love.” I answer, leaning to k**s his cheek.

“You are. I never knew I could care about someone so deeply, so quickly, but I do.”

“I do, too. I just don’t always know how to say it.”

“It’s OK, Molly, I can feel it.” He says, kissing me one last time. “But you need to get some sleep now.” He says, checking my arm and pulling the covers up to snuggle into. “Goodnight, Love.”

“Goodnight, Seth.” I tell him and try to sleep but I can’t, as I’m thinking about the green-eyed wolf from my dream.

“Seth?” I whisper, hoping he’s still up.

“Yes, Molly.” I feel him smile against my head.

“What color are your wolf’s eyes?” I ask.

“They’re black. Why?”

“Nothing. Just something from a dream last night.” I say.

“Was my wolf in your dream?” he asks, tilting his head to look at me.

“No. I thought maybe it was, but the wolf had dark green eyes.” and I feel his entire body stiffen.

“Stay away from wolves with dark green eyes, they may be related to the Rogue King.” he says.

“But I have green eyes, Seth.” I say with confusion.

“Yours are light green and beautiful. I don’t know a lot about what exactly happened. I was a small kid when it all occurred. But there was a pack that was excommunicated from the kingdom and sent Rogue. Their Alpha started calling himself the Rogue King. No one knows if he died, but his mate did and he’s been rogue so long he likely died long ago. His dark green eyes ran through his sons though.”

“It was just a dream, Seth. And it was a small gray wolf. I didn’t think it was your wolf since it was so small. I could feel the pain in my finger in my dream. The wolf would lick it and the pain would get a little better.”

“That’s a rather odd dream, Molly. Try to get some sleep.” he says dismissively. And I’d argue with him, but I’m so tired that I burrow into his firm chest, safe in his strong arms, and finally fall back asleep.

I replace myself lying in a field where the grass is impossibly green with a small creek flowing through it. The small gray wolf with the dark green eyes is there but she is on the other side of the creek. I prop myself up on my elbows and she just sits there, looking at me. I hear something near the tree line and we both look up and see an enormous black wolf with black eyes. He makes his way to the creek, completely ignoring me and fixated on the small wolf across the creek from us. He goes to step into the water and cross it, but he can’t. Every time he goes to step into the water his feet can’t hit it, they just continue to be pushed back to the bank. The big black wolf whimpers, but continues to try. Eventually, he gives up and sits on the bank of the creek and howls a howl full of pain and heartbreak.

I wake with a start. Another weird dream about wolves- with dark green eyes and black. I guess my startle also woke Seth as he is awake and looking at me. “Hey” he whispers out. “Hi”. I return shyly.

“So, you saw Altair.” He says, looking at me with concern.

“Huh? In my dream?”

“Yeah, that was him. He said the little gray wolf is your wolf” he says cautiously, reaching up to stroke my face with his fingers.

“I don’t have a wolf. I’ve never even seen it before. It was just a dream.” I say to him in disbelief.

“It wasn’t though, not if Altair could be there.” He says seriously.

“I don’t understand.” I tell him, so confused.

“I don’t fully understand it, but Altair is sure that is your wolf, and he’s upset he couldn’t reach her. Was last night the first time you’d seen her?”

“Yeah. I’ve always had dreams where those green eyes were watching me, but I’d never seen a wolf.”

“And you’re sure the eyes have always been green. THAT green.” he asks, and I can tell that he’s very concerned.

“Yes. It’s always that dark green.” I tell him.

Seth sighs and pushes his hand through his hair. “It doesn’t change anything about how I feel about you. But it’s best not to tell anyone about this. Those green eyes only belonged to the Rogue King and his sons. He kept the green eyes in human AND wolf form, which is rare. You don’t have them, but if that IS your wolf, you may be in danger.” This sounds scary, but I’m not convinced that I suddenly have a wolf that’s trying to come out. I’m trying not to seem like this is terrifying me, but it is.

I’m trying to hide my fear, but Seth must be able to feel it through the bond. “Hey. You’re mine. This doesn’t change that at all. But I need to keep you safe, OK?” He says, pulling my bottom l*p down that I was absentmindedly chewing on.

“I won’t say anything.” I agree, still pretty scared and confused, but deciding to trust him.

“Not even to your brother. If we need any help figuring this out, we can pull your dad in, but not until I try to work it out myself, ok?” he asks and I nod. “He had 3 sons, and I don’t believe any of them ever shifted. Maybe he had siblings that they just didn’t know about and the eyes carried down that line still. You’re safe with me though.” he tells me, pulling me close and kissing my temple. “How’s your hand?”

“It’s ok. The pain isn’t completely gone, but it’s tolerable.” I tell him, happy that he’s changing the subject.

“Good. Do you want to go upstairs for breakfast with our families?”

“I, uhh… I’m not sure.” I tell him in a whisper.

“Hey, what’s wrong, Love?” he asks, pulling my chin so I’m looking at him.

“I realized last night that I’ve cooked here for the last time. I knew when I met you that I’d have to leave, but I thought I’d have a little bit of time. But with this” I say, gesturing to my injured finger. “I’m done, and I didn’t even realize it until it was too late.” I tell him, trying to hold back tears.

“Oh, Molly. “ He says and wraps me into the biggest hug. “I’m sorry.”

“I know I need to go talk to Oliver so that they can get everything sorted, but I’m just having a really hard time admitting it. I’m so happy I met you, but I don’t want to leave my pack.” I saw, whispering the last part. “I feel terrible for feeling like that though.”

“It really is unfair that she-wolves are expected to drop everything as soon as they meet their mate and leave their packs. You’ll be leaving for the palace though- if that helps any. And I’ll get you anything, I mean absolutely anything that you need to make you comfortable.” He tells me and I just nod in understanding. We lay together for a while before I decide that I can handle going upstairs and it would be nice to see my mom.

“OK, let’s go upstairs.” I say and Seth smiles and releases me, jumping out of bed and rushing over to my side to help me up. He takes my ice pack from my hand and goes to put it back in the freezer. He comes to help me stand, but once I’m standing, he wraps his arms around me and just holds me for a few moments.

“My parents love each other, I know this. I saw them hug and k**s on occasion, but that was more than the kingdom ever saw. I was told it was because Royals couldn’t behave that way. I don’t want that though. I want the whole kingdom to see us together and know how much love there is. I want our kids to walk into a room and see us kissing and it be completely normal. I want what your parents have.” Seth tells me, releasing me just enough so I can lean back and look up at him, but still keeping a firm grip on me. “Your dad is always holding your mom. I don’t even know how many times I’ve seen them k**s in just the few days I’ve been here. There’s no doubt in anyone’s mind how in love they still are.”

“They’ve always been like that. It was embarrassing when I was little, but I really appreciate it now. But I grew up watching my dad dote on my mom, so I’ve got some pretty big expectations now.” I tell him with a smile.

“Good. I look forward to exceeding every expectation you have of me” he says and leans down for a k**s. “Let me help you get dressed, OK?”

“Ok. But there’s no time for any shenanigans, sir.” I tell him and he gives me a look of shock.

“I haven’t any idea what shenanigans you’re referring to. I’ve been a complete gentleman.” he says. I reach my arms above his neck, and gently pull him down so his face is within my reach and k**s the tip of his nose, then release him and walk to the closet.

I grab some jeans, a black shirt and gray cardigan. I walk back to my bed and grab the first aid items for my finger and take them into the bathroom where there’s better lighting. I open the cream Sofia said to put on it but before I can get any out, Seth is there, taking it from me and taking my hand in his. He’s attentive and gentle as he carefully cleans and wraps up my finger, exactly as instructed, before slipping it back into the splint so I don’t bend it. “Feel ok?” Seth asks.

“Yeah. Thank you.” I tell him looking down at the mess I’ve made of my hand. He walks out and I put some moisturizer on my face and follow him back to the bedroom where he’s already in jeans and is pulling a black shirt over his head. I walk to the dresser and grab a black bra and panties and manage to get the bottom half on myself, but with my finger bandaged I can’t hook the bra. I smell him walking behind me and feel his hands run across my back as he takes it from me and hooks it, running his hands down my sides to rest on my h**s. I reach for my jeans and he takes them from me, gently pushing me back to sit on the bed as he kneels in front of me and helps me put them on. Pulling my good hand to help me stand back up, Seth releases me and gently pulls the jeans up, over my thighs and then h**s, his fingers brushing my skin softly the entire way up. He stands in front of me and buttons and zips the jeans for me before leaning over to grab the tshirt and guiding it on, being ever so careful with my injured hand.

“You’re always taking such good care of me,” I say softly. “It’s hard to believe you’re the future King of All Wolves. You’re not nearly as ferocious as I’d have assumed you to be. You’re so kind and gentle.” Seth pulls me towards him and holds me close.

“Only for you, my love. Only for you.” he says and k****s the top of my head. “You’ve only seen me around you, and our families. I think you’ll replace you don’t care for ‘Prince Seth’ when you actually see me around the rest of the kingdom.”

“Is that why I thought you were mad when Albert was here, and when I showed you and that Alpha around the kitchen?”

“Maybe. I was also a little mad both times.” He says with a shrug. “I didn’t like you excitedly walking off with another man. And I was mad you’d hid medicine from me when it would help you.”

“I’m sorry.” I tell him, feeling admonished.

“It’s OK, Love. We just have to get to know each other and get used to each other. I didn’t like seeing you walk off with another man. He was so close to you, and I wasn’t.” He says, pulling me even closer to him. And I pull at his shirt, signaling him to lean down so I can k**s him.

“We should head upstairs soon,” I say and he nods and releases me. I walk into my closet and slip on a pair of black flats and put in one earring, but replace I’m having trouble reaching the other. “Umm, Seth, I’m sorry. Do you think you can do this for me?” I say, holding out the earring.

“Uhh, I’ve never done this before.” He says with a look of horror on his face.

“You just poke it through the hole and then pop the back on.” I tell him with a dramatic showing of how to put the back on.

“Will it hurt you?” he asks, timidly reaching for the earring.

“No! My ears have been pierced for years. Here, I can put the earring in, I just need you to put the back on.” I tell him and do as I said, turning my ear towards him so he can put the back on. He steps forward and tries. He seems flustered but finally it goes on.

“Thanks!” I tell him with a smile.

“That’s it? Are you ok?” he says concerned.

“Seth, I’m fine. It’s just an earring.” I tell him with a giggle as I reach for his hand. Seth pauses and looks down at our hands.

“You’re sure you want to hold my hand? People will see, and they’ll talk. Pretty soon the whole kingdom will know.” He asks me.

“Good.” I tell him with a smile.