"I can't get my head around it." Jake utters for the hundredth time as we lie in bed, our bodies entwined. My exhaustion has dissipated, giving way to mind-numbing silence after the events of the evening. We finally have freedom... from her.
We've been home for a few hours and yet mostly all we've
done is lie together and talk. Hours spent regurgitating
the fact that there is no other baby, wondering how his family are going to react and how different things will be from now on without it hanging over us. It's still too surreal to really believe and emotions between us have been swirling like crazy.
"I can't believe it's over," I exclaim out loud, hearing him sigh again. A happy heavy relief kind of noise.
"Me either, it feels like it's been consuming me ... us... for months." He's lying on his back, staring at the ceiling while I rest my head on his firm abdomen, tracing the tattoos on his inner forearm of the arm across me casually.
"How did she think she would get away with it?" I blanch thinking it through, and turn, shifting up to him, resting my head on the bicep of his arm nestled behind his head and stare at his profile with an inner bubbling happiness. Jake's naked torso is deliciously on show, the sheets pulled up to waist level.
"That level of crazy has no logic, Emma, I'm just glad Ben had the sense to come see me and not let the festering past stop us." He sounds calm and stress free for the first time in forever. It's only taken hours though for it to hit home.
"I can't believe it." I say again through the numb disbelief still hanging in the air; after shock, anger, tears, and relief subsided. We have really been through it all. "Just you, me and tadpole from now on." He beams turning to face me. His arm shifting under my head, bending at the elbow to make himself into a better cushion.
Jake was angry when we came home, rage pouring out of him like a spewing sewer and it took a lot for him to expel it. He disappeared into the gym for a while, to recklessly punch and kick the of crap out of his boxing bag with deadly precision. But lying here now, calm, and serene, I think it's finally sinking in that this is a good thing, a happy thing. I know a part of him will feel a sense of loss at the severing of the connection he built up emotionally with Marissa's baby; in the belief that it was his. Some part of him accepted the child she was having; the anger is his way of grieving its loss, as well as Marissa's depth of betrayal and deceit.
"I guess it won't be a tadpole now, if you'd let that doctor look, I'm sure we would have a better idea on what size it is." I point out with a smirk. Jake touches his fingertip to my nose with an unapologetic smirk. "I have an appointment for you this week, I forgot to tell you, and I'm still not letting anyone stick a wand up there to see. Male or female." His furrowed brow and smile tells me he doesn't care if it makes him look possessive, controlling and slightly overprotective.
"I'm sure it's not long before they can scan my stomach instead, plus the thought of being impaled by some nasty looking probe isn't giving me the greatest of thrills anyway." I cringe at remembering the weird medical implement the doctor was stupid enough to wave around near one very hostile Carrero, and giggle at the memory. The probe, moments from being used in a very different way and leaving the doctor with an unusual walk if he kept waving it within Jake's reach.
"New obstetrician and a lot more appointments, I just wasn't happy with the guy all over you." He grimaces at the memory as though I was somehow assaulted in front of him. I roll my eyes at him with an indulgent smile and stroke his face tenderly.
What can I do with him ....
Honestly?
"You'll need to tell your family about this now you know, this thing with Marissa? We need to tell our friends too." I focus on those soft green eyes and see nothing more than uncomplicated love shining back. Whatever demons he needed to expel, were banished successfully in the gym. That version of him a little too uncomfortable for my liking, reminding me of how easy it would be for someone Jake's size to hurt someone my size; serving to highlight how gentle he really is.
"I think it's a given that everyone will be happy for us; pity I can't say the same for Ben. I wish it wasn't him that got left with the fallout, even after everything." He frowns and runs a hand across my mouth, a habit usually followed closely by kissing or sex. His mind moving from mundane topics to fun activities instead. My skin starts tingling in anticipation, and a small warmth appears low down in my stomach as I watch his green eyes darken.
"Maybe in a way it's retribution? They have each other now whether either one wanted it or not. Ben will have some hold over her with the baby and seeing her for what she is has probably helped him a little." I inhale softly and nudge my face into his palm, so his touch applies more pressure, longing for him like a never-ending craving, yearning for the extras that his hints usually lead to.
"Very philosophical for you baby." Jake smiles and strokes my hair back from my face. "Maybe you're right, karma has a way of coming around to bite you in the ass. God knows I've felt that set of teeth in the last few months." He shifts us closer with a hand around me and in one swift maneuver I'm suddenly pressed right up against him, hard body to my soft curves.
"Hmm, you must've repented successfully seeing as you're living a very charmed life; everything working in your favor nowadays." I giggle when his hands slides down below my waist trying to push my thighs apart with a sexy naughty glint in his eye.
"Charmed is only one of the many ways to describe it.” He slides his knee between my legs, maneuvering them apart, a wicked glean in his eyes taking over.
"Right. I guess we're done talking about serious issues and now you're angling for sex?" I giggle but don't resist, my body fully heated and ready for some meaningful energetic action.
"Pretty much ... I'm a man with needs, neonata." He leans in to devour my neck with tiny nibbles. I giggle and squeal as his hands turn playful and he tickles me, pulling me into him. My happy carefree Jake let loose.
"Jake!" I protest, but that encourages him to flip me onto my back, covering me in one swift move.
"You're amazing baby. Beautiful, sexy, smart and so unbelievably perfect." He hovers above me tantalizingly, keeping his mouth from me that's crying out to be kissed.
"I'll be expecting to hear the same when I'm the size of a whale, or a crazy hormonal mess again like I was in the beginning." I bite on my lip as I devour the way his eyes roam my face as he smirks in that lustful way of his.
"You'll always be sexy and beautiful and perfect to me; a baby just adds to what is so amazing about you." He leans in, kissing me softly, our mouths molding as he slowly brings his body weight down to me. His hands seeking my hair and neck, coming to hold me close, a sign that Jake is going to blow my mind in ways that only he can.
"Here." Jake hands me the small cooler bag that Nora packed for me, crammed with food and snacks, since I'm still eating like a starved animal and he only encourages it with a constant food supply. "Thank you, gorgeous." I wink at him and I'm rewarded with a smack on the ass as he walks past me with our cases. I grin at him; still the sexiest man alive, possessing the ability to turn me to mush with one look.
"Grab my sunglasses," he calls, and I obediently pick them up, my beloved Jake defining symbol, and slide them onto my head, smiling at myself as I do. He doesn't need them as much when he's driving now since the weather is getting colder and the sun is disappearing earlier from the sky. But I still carry them around with me whenever I get the chance, holding them close, reminding me of him in so many ways, a constant item in our relationship of trials and tribulations. He's driving us to Chicago and I'm in surprisingly high spirits, despite knowing what this journey is for. I've felt on top of the world ever since replaceing out Marissa never slept with Jake and nothing can ruin my buzz. That high feeling and relaxed smile ingrained on me and Jake is in the same amazingly good mood. Our black cloud is gone.
When he told everyone about Marissa there were some mixed reactions; anger and outrage and even tears from Sylvana, shocked that Marissa could be that manipulative, but for the most part everyone sighed with relief. Even Giovanni seemed pleased in his own little way, since he promptly sent over to our apartment a bottle of champagne and some fruit punch, tied together in a blue and pink ribbon. Jake glowered at them and left them on the counter. I don't know what he imagines the symbolic value of the gift is, but I doubt it's the same one I interpreted it to be.
To me, the gift from Giovanni symbolizes his congratulations to us on the removal of Marissa, and the building of a family between me and Jake. It's that simple, he's not so hard to figure out when you realize a good heart beats beneath his cool tightened demeanor.
Leila told me she and Hunter are off to a remote island destination for a week, despite still being an emotional enigma, to start putting the past behind them. Daniel is holding in there, treating her tenderly now that she's not putting up such a fight. She sounds happier, less hostile, and not as angry bitchy, especially with his voice in the background cooing and telling her to come back to bed. It was noon when she called so I take it things are still going well, since they're still in bed and I can hear him dotingly calling her his "princess" in the background.
"Baby, are you ready?" Jake's voice echoes through the apartment and I look around for my handbag. This place is looking decidedly less polished nowadays that Jake's favorite art and furniture have been sent to the Hamptons already, along with a lot of our personal belongings. We've decided when we come home from Chicago, we're going straight up to follow our personal effects up there, then Jake is having this place redecorated and revamped as his pad to stay in when he comes over for work. He plans minor changes to the room layouts, making this apartment child friendly and moving our bedroom down to the hall with the guestrooms, bringing us closer to the nursery he wants to put there.00
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